Ponyville Mare's Excessive Pranking Leads To Zombie Outbreak
Ponyville Mare Hijacks Parade Float And Careens Into Lake
You can find headlines like this in any newspaper. Crammed somewhere in the back, bought from a smaller publication for a few bits to fill space. Most ponies laugh, if they spot them at all, and then move on. But one stallion took a particular interest in these strange stories and especially their protagonist.
After years of research and study, he's determined to track her down. One way or another, he will find this mysterious Ponyville Mare.
I really like the framing of this. We know what the truth is by the time Placeholder's spelled it out, but we're just waiting for the other foot to drop. There are some great jokes that come out of it, and I really liked the message at the end. Hopefully that
fanficbook of his is well-received.This started off as an exercise into cramming as much dramatic irony into one tragedy/comedy as physically possible, and then morphed into a tale about enjoyment and how we can inspire that satisfaction in others. Awesome work.
I literally had this thought yesterday. Spooky.
The first thing that came to mind when I saw the title was the various 'Florida Man' stories you hear about in the paper/on twitter/etc. I'm guessing that was indeed the inspiration for this?
LOCAL FLORIDA MARE RUINS ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET BY STANDING IN THE FOOD AND DECLARING HERSELF A 'TREAT'
pbs.twimg.com/media/EAeDOERWsAAAqas?format=png&name=small
(thanks to Jargon Scott)
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I hesitate to contemplate what the world would be like without Jargon Scott and his evil clone, TJPones.
Wow, what an attention-pulling way to bring out a message like that. Very well done.
Very nice
The funny part is how we know which these stories are, but... so close, and yet so far
...Huh. That ending hits a pretty familiar note.
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I'm pretty sure you've got that reversed. It's the pious, angelic TJ Pones who is ever having his good name sullied by the actions of the degenerate pone fancier who calls himself Jargon Scott.
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This sounds a lot like an Estee story almost. Or is it just me?
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Just you.
Is it bad if I want to read Placeholder's story and see the artwork?
It sort of sounds like something Badumsquish would do.
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While it isn’t written like one — it’s missing certain stylistic quirks and turns of phrase that Estee is known for — it still reads like one. Something about the characterisation of Placeholder, the understated characterisation of the non‐focal point ponies he directly interacts with, and the presence of and history behind Buckwheat’s Protective Clause left me feeling like this would fit perfectly as part of Estee’s continuity.
He's in love with an idea.
It's kinda unexpected to see a romance situation turn into writing inspiration for a fictional character.
...Now it kinda makes me hope his creation somehow comes to life - there's enough crazy magic stuff happening in Equestria, it could happen.
(Magical lightening strike on an enchanted comic based on his drawings?)
Oh, and of course, she should be a superhero. "Ponyville Mare! Up up and awa--- Oops!"
*falls into the Princess' chocolate pudding, accidentally unleashing the bees she was carrying*
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...I had to instantly think of a particular Youtube/Twitch streamer who keeps making "Florida Man" jokes in all of his videos.
"Welcome to [insert game title here], the only game where you can increase the amount of Florida Man by [insert ridiculous action enabled by a broken or modded physics engine here]!"
That's it. That's the series. We can all go home.
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A fellow fan of GaryStillPlays?
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"Fan" goes probably a bit too far, but yeah, that's the guy. Funny stuff.
"More Florida Man, dammit!"
After this bit I was expecting him to run into Derpy and figure that even if she wasn't really "Ponyville Mare" she was essentially the embodiment of her and decide it was the start of a beautiful friendship.
Man I saw this in featured only the first line of the description and thought 'huh weird' then scrolled down. Five minutes later, the thought 'Ponyville mare' crossed my mind totally unconnected never having seen the phrase before and I laughed my ass off and decided to scroll back up and read this. Seems our minds work alike! Man I laughed! Congrats!
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Welcome to the only fandom where a bunch of small pastel horses can pry another horse off the moon using 6 LSD-infused gemstones - it's my little pony.
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"More orbital friendship lasers, dammit!"
There is a City.
A City called Horsetown. Some say Discord himself cursed the place to constantly be plagued with wonders, troubles and just plain weird things that would make an alicorn take pause and no lesser pony defeat. They keep happening. Especially on Tuesdays, as a stallion named Bookmark can tell you.
Fortunately, Horsetown has an alicorn. It's a good thing, because you need a Horsetown Mare and no other mare will do. Not for Horsetown, or for Bookmark.
This is their story. A City, an alicorn, and a Bookmark in the middle.*
*Names may have been creatively changed to prevent mistaking any of the characters for real towns or ponies, whether they exist or not.
Have a like simply on the premise.
9956833 I can already see the headlines:
It's kind of interesting reading some of the headlines, and putting the pony you know it's actually about next to them.
He didn't fall in love with a mare, he fell in love with a town. And didn't we all? What would Friendship is Magic be without Ponyville?
That said, a single equinification of all of Ponyville's merry madness... I'm not sure he'll find an editor who'd ever believe it. Still, lovely stuff. Thank you for it.
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Going by some theories of the multiverse, she'll exist, just not in the same Equestria as Placeholder.
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"Ponyville Mare breaks the entire multiverse, claims she did it because she was 'looking for true love'."
I mean... even Derpy would be saying "Geeez, filly!"
...And, an amalgamation of everypony in Ponyville, eh? Reminds me of those "the mane 6 fused into one body" stories that were floating around some years ago. Oh, and the art of course.
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Did you start the #PonyvilleMare hashtag on Twitter? I noticed that recently...
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Not me, but definitely a strange coincidence or perhaps I was a source of inspiration.
Very cool story
I kind of want a sequel to this
9962093 There was a city, one time, on a dark and stormy night.
It was a city like many others, filled with zombies, executed killers who haunted your dreams, aliens that jumped out your chest, and evil AIs trying to end all life.
Yes, just your average, everyday small urban center where everyone lived and died at least a healthy 12 times a week.
But this poor city was visited by horrors unlike any ever conceived of previously, and all the demon clowns, vampires (sparkly and otherwise) and other hapless citizens trembled in terror at the sight of them on that fateful day.
The day the Pastel Pony Princesses appeared.
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I'm torn between comic book and an Amelia Bedelia style novel series
HAHAHAHAHAHA. I love this, as a Floridian myself I can appreciate the joke. Also, I love how this story is framed, we know the truth pretty early on, but the real pleasure is waiting agonizingly for Placeholder to figure it out.
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It's not just you. As Xoid said, this has an Estee feel, while being obviously a different work by a different author.
If I may offer proofreading suggestions?
heard a voice ask
heard a voice say
building that drew in
building which drew in
(not that “that” wasn’t correct, but it gets repetitive in that sentence /shrug)
princess's
princess’
Manehatten
Manehattan
she'd not really looking
she’s not really looking
firendship
friendship
collection of which
collection which
real." Placeholder insisted,
real," Placeholder insisted,
unfact-checked
un-fact-checked
through you book
through your book
world has dropped
world had dropped
messy mare
messy mane
ideas her associated
ideas he associated
elaborated
connected
narrative. Placeholder's
narrative — Placeholder’s
Also one editing comment,
He stood up with dawning realization.
…It seems to me that he was already standing at that point? He’d “scrambled to his hooves,” and never explicitly gotten down again after that. I didn’t really notice this until after I’d decided to do a proper proofreading attempt, and standing does seem thematically appropriate for the moment, so… maybe leave it?
Okay hope this helps!
I liked the story,
althoughit gets sadder the more I think about it.Hey, No One likes your story... so they read it.