Princess Luna knows her sister is hiding something. Whatever she may say, 'Daybreaker' did not seem to be some construct of Starlight Glimmer's psyche. It had been far too strong for that.
But Luna will learn that sometimes it is better to leave well enough alone. The truth is not always kind.
My entry for the Dear Love: A Beautiful Discord contest, in which this won second place. The Seattle's Angels Review can be found here.
Thanks to Snu AKA Snowybee, Miller Minus and MewKat for lending their ears, and their pre-reading skills (for Chapters 1-3). I definitely would not have finished this in time without them.
If I had to sum this story up: what if you could interview the devil, and he told you that there were Bigger Fish to Fry?
- Cynewulf, on reviewing this for Seattle's Angels.
Good story.
Sad, but in the end Luna betray her real sister.
I wonder who Daybreaker was talking to at the end...
All in all, an excellent story! I love the deeper explanation into Celestia's psyche that Daybreaker represents. Taking what she wants, what she loves, and being a pure antitheses of Celestia's Harmony. Daybreaker is Chaos, Freedom, Love, Lust, Fiery Passion. Everything Celestia doesn't allow herself to have.
No wonder Luna would be attracted to it, considering the nature of her own ills.
I wonder if Nightmare Moon found her way into Daybreaker's prison with Luna's presence...
9215732
I think its Luna.
9215768
Nope, wrong Sister.
9215357
Thank you (for the comment and the fave)! I'm glad you liked it.
It's supposed to be a little bit ambiguous - after all, Luna may have come to finally destroy her. Or maybe the world's ended and there's nothing else left. Who knows! Your interpretation is 100% valid though, I'm definitely going with Death of the Author here.
9215732
Oh wow thank you so much! I'm happy I was able to convey Daybreaker so well to you, that was really one of my main goals with this story. I must confess, I hadn't thought of NMM turning up - but who knows?
As for your first question - well, 9215768 has the right of it. The end ties back into the very beginning.
EDIT: And thanks for the addition to all your bookshelves!
9215822
Oh man, I didn't realise I'd made it so ambiguous.
I wrote the story with Luna being the pony at the end - but I like your interpretation of it! Especially as this will eventually have a prequel focusing on said other sister...
Anyway, thank you for the fave!
9215823
I dont think so. Celestia directly ask for help. And what Luna do? Nothing! Looks like she like this twisted version of her sister much more then real one.
9215834
Well Luna has left. And if the world outside has not ended somehow, then the only other being that could get through Celestias Defenses without freeing Daybreaker directly would be Celestia herself.
9215823
Hmm... I keep trying to imagine how to bind NMM into this story-line... But it's pretty hard since if Daybreaker is Pride... And NMM is envy.... Those two would be REALLY hard to write as anything other than straight up nemesis's .... Though.... I'm kinda wondering right now if there's any way to use NMM's envy of Luna and Daybreaker to have her turn to Celestia o.o
It would make for a Hillarious family talk later down the line XD The idea of Celestia confessing to Luna that she's been developing some kind of relationship with NMM while trying to ''reform her'' only to have Luna end up confessing about Daybreaker just has me giddy XD
Anyways XD All in all an extremely tasteful story :3 Would love to see some more of it too XD
9215879
Nice idea for sequel btw.
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Yeah though it might be a bit too humorous of an outcome considering this story is tagged as dark ^^;;
Hmm... I guess one could tweak it somewhat to fit a darker story o.o
9215879 9215895
I'm afraid I agree with your second comment here - this is probably a little too humourous for this particular version of these characters. There's no reason you couldn't write something like that yourself though! And it's pretty cool to see that you liked the story enough to speculate on possible futures.
9215915
Sadly enough I tend to struggle with fleshing out a story and also preventing power creep :/ I can easily place out major storyline events... But it's almost impossible for me to actually connect them all up in a good tempo >.<;; And I struggle with creating believable characters since I have trouble understanding the social aspects :/
So instead I end up like this XD Devouring other people's stories and trying to imagine how another author would write it... Or how the story could continue? Or maybe even how it could've gone if something had gone differently in the story XD It's quite fun to do :3
And yes after going through it some more I too figured it'd be way too much of a theme change if NMM and all that happened XD Though atm I'm twisting it around in my head trying to make a darker spin on it xD
NMM using Celestia to hurt Luna while unknowingly hurting herself in the process for example? XD
This is a very fun concept to ponder on :3 Really hope some more authors explore it ^^
I like the disjointed ordering here.
I guess when you have your own world you'll eventually try to "optimize for amount of fire".
Perfectly normal.
Oh. Well then.
I wonder exactly what that tastes like?
Oh, that's where that went! Clever, and well executed!
Stellar work, Meridian. Dark and rich and gorgeous. Your takes on Daybreaker and Luna and Celestia are fantastic, and their drives and hidden demons and desires come across strongly. Cracking painting of scenes as well - the description of Daybreaker's ruined dream-realm and Luna navigating it were lovely and vivid.
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Wasn't sure about that at first, but I'm glad I stuck with it.
Thanks!
9217142
I mean, doesn't everyone?
9217177
Well, a little radioactive I would imagine - with just a hint of hydrogen.
9217179
Aww, thanks! And thank you so much for all the wonderful comments - even having a few lines per chapter just made my day.
9217580
Oh wow - I'm going to have to break this down a little to answer!
Given how much I love your Celestia (The Tempest remains one of my all-time faves), this is high praise indeed.
The two biggest things I wanted to achieve while writing this were to conjure the image of Daybreaker's world in the readers mind, and to convey what a complex, twisted relationship the Sisters have - in large part through Daybreaker and how I envision her. So to be told I nailed that is pretty awesome.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - positive feedback like this from authors that I really respect is one of the most fulfilling things I get out of writing. Thanks.
Exquisite. Daybreaker's personal sun logic (like moon logic, but more incandescent) has the terrifying internal consistency of madness. So long as you accept that terrifying first precept, everything else falls into place. Perfectly, as it should. Luna's preconceived notions giving way to guilt and that impotent feeling that doesn't know if it's rage or lust, Celestia's rightful fear over what she may become, the lies, the secrets, the clandestine rendezvous...
Truly fantastic work. The cyclical construction was the cherry on top, and the bottom of the sundae glass balanced on that cherry. (You did order the Mobiüs Deluxe, right?) Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.
(But seriously, Luna, call in the junior princesses. Even if love and friendship can't help, baby-powered doom lasers might.)
9220164
These are the kind of comments that I write to see. Wow.
Daybreaker is fascinating to me because she is very much Nightmare Moon's opposite - Luna gave up when she became NMM, but for Celestia to become Daybreaker she has to give in. In that way, there's a lot more of Celestia in Daybreaker than there is Luna in the Nightmare. And I don't think Celestia survived 1000 years as Equestria's ruler by staying entirely sane.
Random digression aside—you have put into words how I wanted to convey Daybreaker's madness better than I did in my actual outline, so it's good to know I got it across!
Yeah, this Luna may have beaten the Tantabus, but she still has Issues with a capital I.
And while I totally understand most people's instinctual reaction to the sisters feeling like this towards each other in any way—they're very, very old, and very, very messed up ponies, who undoubtedly have a lot of very complicated feelings for each other. If the Lannisters can do it.... 
(also, more on Celestia's fear coming soon to a fimfic near you!)
This is the best comment. And I did absolutely order the Mobiüs Deluxe—with incestual undertone sprinkles! Also I'm glad the cyclical construction worked, that was relatively unplanned. It just kind of appeared once I started sketching out the story, for no real reason. Probably too many Mobiüs Deluxes.
You are very welcome—thank you for reading and leaving such a lovely comment!
(And yeah, Luna really dropped the ball there. Twilight would have had them all hugging it out or just Nanoha'd them into friendship, Cadance would have had them...
...Well to be honest, Cadance would have probably ended with the same result. Just less angst for all parties involved.
)
I don't know why, but when I read that line, The Boxer popped into my head:
I have squandered my resistance
On a pocketful of mumbles,
Such are promises
I think it's strangely quite fitting.
Yeah okay I had no chance of winning. I'm perfectly happy if this is what I lost to.
This was a wonderful story. Daybreaker was exquisite, and Luna was excellently portrayed as well. I could feel the maelstrom of emotions surrounding them, and you really sold their characterizations. The writing itself was beautiful and so, so evocative. I am in awe.
Congratulation on placing. You deserved it.
9308802
I hadn't listened to The Boxer in ages. Thank you for sending me back to it, and thank you for the compliment. It is a wonderful thing to see that my writing in any way reminds people of artistry on Simon & Garfunkel's level.
9308986
This is a truly amazing thing to hear from the author of the entry I thought would probably win. I've been blown away in general by the reaction to this fic, and I'm so glad to hear in particular that I sold the emotions, I was most unsure of that (not having
written romancewritten convincing romance before).Thank you.
I enjoyed the depiction of DayBreaker, and it was really good to see Luna forging forth where celestia fears to tread.
I liked the ambiguity at the end as well - I’d like to think it’s Celestia, finally looking vanquish her demon now that she’s asked Luna to help. :)
9311358
Luna is definitely the more "act now, ask questions later" of the two sisters.
And your interpretation of events is completely valid - that may well be what is happening! I'm going full Death of the Author on this one. Thanks for reading, and thanks even more for commenting; it's always great to see feedback.
This is the type of Princest fic that I wanted! Something that explores old emotions. None of that "OOOOOH we're sisters. This is a taboo. Teehee." Prose were pretty stellar too. This fic gets my literary boner all rock hard. Thank you!
Also, will you write something with the sisters again? or is this a one shot?
9366384
Literary boners are the best kind.
Thanks! I really wanted to try and do something exploring that more mythological side of the sisters here. As for a sequel, well there's one in the works, but IRL stuff and a couple of other projects have pushed it back a little. Should see it sometime in Feb I'd imagine? And it's more of a prequel anyway...
This was really engaging! I really liked how the plot was driven so much by Luna's motivations, both for good and for ill. It made it really exciting, even though all it came down to for a lot of scenes was two ponies chatting a whole bunch--or that's how I remember it seeming, anyway. It didn't feel like there was much happening, not always, but I always wanted to see how Luna would react and handle the various situations she was put in.
And the descriptions of both scenery and ponies were so cool. I was especially fond of this sentence:
I did think it sped by a bit in places, though--I think the transition from Luna being sorta into Daybreaker to considering her a lover felt quick and not totally earned.
Still pretty interesting, though. Thanks for writing!
9530607
Sorry for the late reply on this, been a little absent from Fimfic for the last few weeks, focusing on irl stuff.
I'm glad you liked it! And you're absolutely right, 90% of this is Luna and Daybreaker just kinda chatting. Not the most enthralling of tales, so I'm glad you think I made it work.
Thank you! A lot of my effort was put into really setting the scene.
That's definitely a weakness of this story. I'm not even sure it's one that would have been fixed by a longer writing process - I had a very specific concept for this story that I wanted to convey, and I don't think I have the experience or writing chops to write a longer, more believable romance. Hence why I just sort of skipped ahead. But thank you so much for commenting, and I'm glad you liked it!
This is so damn good... I'm sorry, but I have no words that do this justice.
9554856
That in itself speaks volumes! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for commenting. I see you also gave Hyperion a read--thanks for dropping by, and I hope you like my future stories! There should be one coming out fairly soon? It just needs a bit of a clean up, the current version is a bit rough.
Please, please, please tell me you have a sequel or a prequel planned for this story ! Because its so damn good, and i want more of it. I really enjoyed the complex chemistry that was gradually building up between Luna and Day breaker. Also the way you portrayed day breaker in your story , was really cool and unique. Shes not just some crazy , deranged pony, but there's more to her that meets the eye.
9636477
Sorry for the absurdly late reply--in answer to your question, yes there is a sequel in the works for this. No promises on release date though. The next few months are going to be very busy for me IRL, as the last few have been, and on top of that there are a few other half-finished projects that I really should get out first.
But thank you for reading, and for all the lovely praise. Stick around, and you'll get the
sequelprequel soon enough...This story had an air of inevitably about it. Only after reading this chapter did that feeling really sink in. Well done. Daybreaker is maddened, yet the truth she represents is immutable.
You can has review!
I love this, has to be my one of my favorite Celestia stories on this site.
really puts the thousand years alone thing into perspective.
This story is such a delightful mix of sad, dramatic, and funny. I really love how the ending recontextualizes the whole thing- because if Celestia was watching, that means her giving Luna permission to deal with Daybreaker how she felt was right was her saying "Okay, fine, you can sleep with my evil alter ego," which is just hilarious. Fantastic work here! <3