Hearts and Hooves day has been an Equestrian tradition for some years, and for as equally long, it has been quasi-tradition that the sister rulers of the fledgling Equestrian nation have never been adorned with the title of being another's 'special somepony'. This year, Princess Luna has her eyes on the pink-maned Alicorn she rules beside and has her heart set on breaking the tradition of the two being alone for that special day.
Takes place 2000 years in the past.
Possible triggers: olden shakespearean style English, cuddling, and a kiss.
MagnaLuna created the cover photo. Text was added by me.
Chapters (1)
INCEST!!!!!!!!!
This was really sweet though.
7722365 Glad to see you enjoyed it, my dude!
have a favourite, my dude
7722381 Hey how about I follow?
7722476 You don't have to ask to follow... you just follow! Also it'd make me happy; I've got another fic coming out tomorrow, so keep an eye out for it.
7722483 Ok! Another follower will be added to your list in three... two... one...
Who made the picture?
7722649 Art is by MagnaLuna; I edited it and added the text, they did the pic. Wasn't commission, I just used the photo.
Really sweet story, I like the Shakespeare dialogue you used, it made the story very original.
It's customary to credit the cover artist in the description
The artwork here (aside from the added text) was done by MagnaLuna
7723335 Yes, I know.
7723456 Dab to the polls?
Ahhhhh dat language lost me... but this was sweet as heck though.
Nicely done.
Eeyup. I like it
Very nice, cute even.
I like the dialogue design you chose!
Dawwww. I'm gonna get a toothache. 5/5 flutteryays. Have a moustache.
Brilliant as always coffee, couldn't have done anything better myself.
7827203 well, that was quite the compliment!
Happy to hear that you liked this little story! Fun fact; this takes place in the same universe as "My Only Sunshine."
7827249 well then another story to read!
Really cute.
Aw this was really sweet
7865790
I like how the first several comments I've seen have one dislike on them. Someone's not happy with the pairing. Still, I think this story is pretty sweet, and the choice of dialogue- genius.
Still, for a moment, I thought Celestia was going to show a hint of homophobia or something.
8066231 Funny enough, all of those dislikes happened right at the same time as someone put a dislike on the story itself. Someone really hates this story, lol.
As for Celestia, I tried to portray her initial reaction as benign innocence; essentially, she doesn't understand that Luna loves her, she just sees it as a cute gesture. What I don't show is the several hours they have together between them in the throne hall and them together in bed; the hours where Celestia kinda figures things out and is like "oh, I also love you."
Thanks for the comment, by the way! Glad you liked this little story of mine.
So, I remember you mentioning that this had a connection to MOS? Or I did once I was reading it? Don't remember atm. Should I just assume there's a continuity in your work, even if it isn't mentioned?
Anyway, I remember that this is one of the few stories by you I haven't read, and the other one that comes to mind is a novella type thing that would take longer to read.
This isn't my thing at all. The Luna/Celestia thing is something I have a really short fuse for. The one story I read that included it that didn't throw me for a loop or anything was this one here, where it's just light fluff and they aren't sisters/co-rulers/anything related/didn't grow up together or anything like that. There was also 'A Finer Vintage' which was okay I guess? If you're a fan of the whole Luna/Celestia thing you'd probably like it. I also noticed that despite being Luna/Celestia, this wasn't dumped into the ever-popular incest group, at least, from looking at the groups here I don't see it here.
That's really the only thing that prevents me from enjoying this story, and it felt weird that this was... normal? I'm not quite sure what your headcanon on Luna, Celestia, their lives/nature/relationship is except from what I can glean and guess from your works... which I'm still trying to guess the continuity on. Everything else is well done! I usually read for the characters - they're often what will really sell a story to me - and unfortunately, that's not the part I liked here. Every interaction had me feeling a little weird as I read.
What was the part I liked that got the upvote and bookshelf add? The grammar.
That sweet, sweet Early Modern English is what made me give this an upvote and all that... something I usually just give a story as a whole, y'know?
The connection this has to MOS brings something else to the table: it makes MOS feel like a creepy and abusive angry-ex story, which I don't think was your intention at all. It makes the trauma experienced by Celestia and Luna in that story seem to come from really weird Unfortunate Implications and such that stem from nothing related to what they had to go through in that story in relation to Celestia's exile, their broken trust, etc. at all. It also adds a few shades of good ol' Weird Subtext to what your version of Luna becoming NMM is.
But I really liked the grammar and can only imagine you pulled out hair trying to perfect it.
8375749
This story changing the way MLS is supposed to be looked at was, in fact, totally unintentional. The reason I decided to connect the two was because this story has a very light, cheerful tone to it. It shows how happy they two had once been, and gives a peek into the past of what Equestria had once been. Also, this is never mentioned, but this story is set only 15 years before Luna's fall into darkness, which is why all of the characters here (Celestia's adjutant, Captain Cloud Fall, and a few others) are brought up by Celestia in MLS. While I think you dislike the feeling this story gave to MLS, as it seems you've described it in a sort of negative light, I actually find the whole concept rather intriguing; the abusive ex thing. Once more, no where near my intention, but still a unique take on things.
As for the characters not being the best, I do agree, but do keep in mind, it's quite hard to give an already established character their quirks when working with such abstract linguistics. As for you congratulating me on a job well done with the grammar; thank you. This story was more of a study/experiment with middle English than it was anything else, so at least it succeeded in that regard.
I do wish to say, you're very critical of my work. One of the most critical, other than Empty Shelf and a few others who were big commenters on MLS. I gotta know; why do you come back to me? What about my work draws you in? Personally, I find it strange people stick around and read my stuff, because everything I read always seems better than what I write... with a few exceptions, of course.
Also, to build upon your criticality of me... I have a proposition for you. You see, here once Sol Point is completed, which will be soon, btw (2 more chapters to go!) I plan on embarking on a story that, I hope, will surpass MLS's quality of characters and story. It won't be as dramatic, or as heartbreaking, but I want it to be PERFECT. I'm aiming to have no plotholes, no mistakes, no "well, it doesn't make since for him/her to do that because of X". I want it to be my magnum opus, and for that, I've been looking for a second dedicated pre-reader.
You won't have to worry about editing, just offering advice and criticism. Your attention to detail and unique outlook on things is something I could use more than you know. If you don't wish to, I totally understand. If you do, I'll send you a PM with some details about the story. Nothing big just yet, but you know... an outline.
Once again, thank you so much, for being critical of me and for sticking around. Your input on both this story and MLS has given me a very different outlook on things.
Also, thanks for commenting on my latest little story! Glad you enjoyed that piece.
8376253
Only fifteen years? Now that is an alarmingly turbulent relationship.
I like how we keep calling it My Little Sunshine instead of My Only Sunshine, first of all. I described it in a negative kind of light because it feels creepy, but that's because if you dabble in psychology and just kinda think about what's going on here... the relationship between these two is kind of a huge red flag. The abusive ex thing was kind of alarming because throughout MOS, and taking this one into account because side-stories, it felt very sudden (at least when I read it) and remained as this unaddressed Elephant in the Room that really puzzled me.
I was referring more to their interaction. This was more or less fluff, no? I don't really understand why these two ended up being paired, so the 'why' to all this is still there for me. With most other short little stories, it's not that hard to see why X and Y are together, or going to be, even if I don't feel very invested in the pairing.
I like to offer feedback when I can, or just have something to say! Also, I remembered that you liked comments. So, even though I read this a while ago, I remembered to comment... kind of. I keep coming back to your work because you are good writer with interesting ideas, and I would like to watch that grow and continue to read your work. Also, Lundance!
As for that last part? Welcome to writing! If you don't second guess basically everything you write for the littlest, weirdest thing, you will soon! It's agony! :D
Sure, I'll see what I can do.
👍
8377224
God dammit. No, not 15 years, 45. I was on mobile and hit the wrong button without realizing. Lol
And... Yeah, i can see very clearly what you mean when you say this story kinda ruined MOS for you. Like I said. No where near my intention. But, thats one reason i wanted to get you as a prereader: you notice this stuff. No one else has ever mentioned it, or interpreted it in that way. So, yeah, since you accepted, ill send you a PM here once im not lying in bed on my phone
Once more, thanks for the comment and your continued readership!
8377353
Anytime yo! I'll get to it when I have the chance.
Thanks for the fic!