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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Welp. Guess that's that then. No closure for anyone. No resolution to all this build up.
So I suppose there's only one more thing to say. For the last time in what may be a while.
You tease!
The ending felt a bit abrupt, what with just ending on just running self_repair.exe. I honestly was not expecting it to end right now, but if there's going to be a sequel this is a fine place to end!
Looking forward to the sequel then
They couldn't find her wing?
It was probably stolen. I doubt that GOC knockoff had just the one facility, after all.
11861357
In that case, I hope you use this story as a learning opportunity and a chance to improve in your future writing endeavors. It was enjoyable while it lasted, but I have concerns about how it was written. Buuuut I don't want you to feel attacked or put on blast or anything.
All in all, keep it up, continue to improve, and good luck!
Have a lovely day
154 chapters later,: " OK, glad the setup is done, now the story can begin!"
going for a mini wheel of time here eh?
11861369
I'm more surprised that she was apparently nearly killed by the Elements of Harmony. Or more likely, complications caused by the Nightmare being severed from her. But still. Seems incongruous for the elements to have left her without a wing. It could be argued that is a state of disharmony.
But seriously, those wings were her only reward for a life spent on the battlefield and all the other terrible things that happened as a result. Would be mighty unfair if the EoH just decided to leave her with only one.
Then again, Harmony seemed like a bit of a jerk.
Guess we'll see.
11861379
I think the dialogue implied it'll grow back as long as they don't cauterize it...
Or did they mean "heal" as in reattach the wing?
Hm. Now I'm not sure.
What a ride. Im happy to have been here for... a lveey large part of it.
11861373
Exactly what I was thinking
Well it seems that thanks to Lucna operating on old EqestriaOS we need to content ourselves with waiting for her autodiagnostics to finish repairing what was broken
Truly new systems are much more compatible with repairing each other but ...
<Swats a changeling sneaking through hospital with giant fly swatter>
All of those bugs ... Mildly irritating if you ask me
Oh well in meantime we can content ourselves with learning story from Celly perspective and judge what she needs to do to deserve ... something from Lucna
Because as far as I am concerned with our current knowledge we can only do one thing ...
<Prepares stack of of wood for traditional burning of witches , alicorn sized witch costume and makeup included>
... What? I know it will do nothing more than maybe tickle her and cause a little amusement but it is traditional
Praise the author for the wordz \T/
It was fun ride
Shame it ended but nothing lasts forever
But why do I have suspicion that after Celly side there is going to be third story that will have 3 sides of reconciliation? Lucna , Celly and Mane Six mediators/messengers working in the same room
Weak hunch but a hunch nonetheless
Also why do I want to at some point Celly and Human family to meet and cause one weird singularity of awkward?
Maybe even just outside Lucna hospital room for additional Spanish Soap Drama Points ?
<Pinkie passes popcorn from outside reality>
Yup this is going to be nice to watch <Tastes popcorn>
Caramelized , should have known ...
Wow what a trip. Glad you have a sequel in the works.
At least you could tell us about the wing? if they didn't find it, it regenerates or prostheses or it continues to suffer?
154 chapter, one chapter each day for essentially half a year. Your, dear author, have displayed a kind of tenacity I have never seen before in a writer, and to that, I can only give my praise.
11861531
Wait! Was I writing them the same day? I thought she already had it all written and published part by part.
My respects
Whew, what a journey. I really did enjoy this one, even as odd as the formatting was overall. The fact that the memory backstory took up over half the fic and could have easily been its own story was an... interesting choice, though I understand why you went with it. I think I ended up being more invested in it than the present day plot more often than not.
I look forward to reading the sequel, which thank goodness there is one because what a place this would be to leave things off otherwise. Great work overall, and serious props for managing to maintain a consistent daily upload schedule. I'll miss seeing this pop up in my Tracking feed every morning.
The long, dark night has ended... The poor gay autistic horse is finally gonna rest properly in for about a millennium. A new dawn for her life you might say. A millennium dawn... Ok I will stop now
Whew! What a journey. I was holding my breath for each exciting chapter. I hope the sequel comes in soon
Would’ve been better if she got out the words “In time all will know the full extent of your failures. And when it is done, I pray that you know the true amount of suffering that you have put me through.”
Now we all get to wait and see if and when the next part comes out, cause I think a lot of us here want Luna to never truly forgive Celestia for her crimes and betrayal. But seeing that the author is trying to go for the obvious route, guess we must wait and see.
Cause after all, Celestia said it herself that she did it first cause she thought that her own sister was not gonna need her anymore so she struck first, clearly Celestia is in the wrong so no matter how much “you are only seeing it from one side”, when the other side clearly admitted to it, that is all the information I need to conclude that this Celestia sucks and should be punished for this.
Whooooooooo!!
Luna's finally getting some help!
She deserves all of the cuddles!
11861626
"Never" is different to immortals. Even with what Celestia has done, I wouldn't say Luna should never forgive her. Eternity is too long to carry that much resentment.
Though I'd also argue that that's all the more reason for Celestia to suffer consequences. Luna's resentment is justified enough that she'll need really good reasons to let it go. And Celestia being consumed by guilt and remorse for 1000 years is not enough on its own.
It was anticlimactic as hell.
All these hints scattered throughout the story? Readers' theories? Unanswered. No answers, no conflict resolution... No ending.
As much I liked the "Memories" part, as much I dislike the "Present" part in the end. As much I liked this version of Luna, as much I dislike Lucas. He looks more like her opposite. Feeding Nightmare for the sake of feeding, left Sunset in trouble, alcohol overuse to forget how much shit he's done... And of course he ended up in canonical self-loathing in an absolutely uncanonical situation. I don't care what this so-called "Harmony" said - it's not Luna.
I really don't know what to think about this story. There are two of them here. I'm glad to upvote one of them and downvote second.
11861694
What was the other story?
11861694
That's probably the reason there's a sequel and a sidefic in the pipes.
I don't think you're wrong on any front, I will say though, for a contrasting opinion, that the exact things that feel anti-climatic are there, in my opinion, accurate for the themes of the story.
Ending on the note of aimlessness and a blank slate has been the entire point of the rising action of the story.
Luna is finally done. There's no bullying from her childhood, no hydras or unicorns to slay. Not a war to fight, not a family that mistreats him, no kingdom to rule, assassins to worry about. There isn't a demon that needs slaying, and a maiden that needs saving.
Luna has finally risen to the point where it's all just finally stopped. Cold stopped with a final confrontation to clear her of the corruption that lead her to several of her gravest mistakes and the biggest chunks of hatred levied towards her; yes, absolutely. It's jarring and it's supposed to be.
It follows the theme of pain and trauma. Her 'adventure' in recovering is far from over, but the final little tie in at the end of the story is about Luna finally deciding that there's a point to recovering, to being herself, regardless of who that is.
Really? That's how you're going to end it? Okay.
The term Deus ex Machina originally came from out of Ancient Greek theater, where a god would be conveyed onto the stage by a literal machine to solve an unsolvable problem. In the original context it worked, because Greek theater was a forum for telling culture myths. The point was to inspire awe and fear of the gods of the culture that meddle in the affairs of mortals, and perhaps provide some understanding of their preferences. The purpose of all this was an effort to continuously reproduce the shared culture of Ancient Greece.
To be honest, i was not expecting a crane to lower Harmony onto the stage so they could tell Luncas that she was a good girl and banish the Nightmare. Because really why would I? The point is that it comes out of nowhere, because the gods of Ancient Greece can strike at any time. Not really in keeping with modern sensibilities, but well, "this is an artistic piece" so it doesn't matter if the ending was unsatisfying.
But now that we're at the end, we can look back and reflect upon the meaning of the work. What was the underlying artistic message?
"It sucks to be Luncas"? "Making deals with demons will ruin your life"? Seems like most people are taking away "This is all Celestia's fault". The Luna section was all "Solidarity and compassion are OP" and maybe "Listen to the voice in your head that says it wants to help you". The Luncas section reinforces the first bit, showing what happens without it. Mostly though, it seems like it's the first thing; "It sucks to be Luncas."
Maybe it's a meta thing. Like "if there's a demon of fear and hatred on your shoulder, your story is going to be full of sadness and excessively focused on a time before when you didn't suck so bad." Maybe it's "An expression and exploration of the author's feelings of anger through a non-destructive medium" which, fair I guess. Not sure what the memories would be for in that context, but if this is writing therapy instead of a planned out narrative, at least there'd be a reason for the bad pacing. The Deus ex Machina ending is a weird way to end something like that though.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure that there actually is a message here. The chapters are competently written and the characters and theming are very solid. The pacing is awful and the narrative is non-existent. In the end, it was in fact a waste of my time and patience and frustration, and I'm probably not going to read the sequel.
I'm betting right now that the sidestory is Celeatia's perspective, while the sequel will deal with the aftermath of this here. The only question is, will Lucna be transferred to Equestria or if she'll stay on Earth? Case could be made for both.
11861362
*theatrically bows*
11861363
Same.
11861369
11862042
11861370
11861547
11861694
I direct you to 11861755 's comment, as it captures part of what I was going for beautifully.
11861373
11861435
How else can I get you all excited for a sequel?
11861379
11861382
11861529
What I will say on the subject... Is that Alicorn physiology is really fucking weird.
11861422
3spoopy5me?
11861427
And I'm happy to have you!
11861436
I dare say it might not even tickle.
She might find it rather relaxing.
11861439
Indeed.
11861531
11861541
I will admit, not for the first time, I had most of the writing pre-done. In actuality I completed it back in mid February.
But I wanted to stick to my schedule and trickled out updates.
11861559
Fimfic doesn't have a decent newspaper emote to hit you with.
11861608
You and me both.
But sadly, I have irl things I need to take care of before I start seriously grinding out a decent sequel.
11861626
I actually alluded to this really early on actually.
Go back and reread Chapter 25.
As always, I wanted Luna and Celestia to be in a yin/yang relationship. Where one went, the other went opposite.
Luna did the wrong thing for the right reason, but Celestia did the right thing for the wrong reason.
And that isn't the only example either! Luna made her own sword, but Celestia was gifted her spear! They all slip my mind at the moment, but I know I sprinkled a ton of examples throughout the whole story.
11861657
All the snuggles!
11861662
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Five minutes is a long time under certain circumstances. A thousand years is most definitely a lot longer.
11861755
Very well said.
11862150
Yeah, I understand you're going for this sort of effect but honestly this "oh what a letdown" ending isnt near my first complaint. I was displaying tact.
I more meant, the way you wrote this story wasn't.... ideal, and the pacing could use some overall work. I still enjoyed it, and I'm not gonna call you a terrible writer, just that you had room to improve and I was really disapponted with your pacing and story structure.
End of the day, I'm just some dude online, feel free to disregard what I have to say
Came looking for the new chapter but its over rip. It was a fun ride, see ya in the next one :)
Are you far ahead in writing it like this one? I wouldnt be surprised lol
11862150
I can only assume this is meant to hint that 1000 years of guilt and remorse weighs heavier than we can imagine.
I agree. I would break within a month under remorse for a sin of that magnitude.
But however long Celestia felt that guilt and remorse, Luna was suffering the entire time. She was mercifully insensate for most of it, yes, but that was still time she should never have lost in the first place, and time in which the country she sacrificed so much for grew without her.
What I've been trying to say is;
Remorse alone does not entitle anyone to absolution. It's a requirement.
I'll still feel sympathy for Celestia when we find out what she had to deal with post-Betrayal, but I'll also be among the first to point out she brought it on herself.
Gonna miss the nightly updates, good fic
11862150
Loved it from start to finish, thank you for producing this, it was a true joy to read.
Deciding to go back through this story, upon rereading Chapter 9, it seems pretty cut and dry that Celestia is the one primarily at fault here.
Yes, Luna attacked her first, but in Luna's defence, she was backed into a corner, with Celestia intended to sever her from the Moon. I get that the events of the first batch of memory chapters are built on decades, if not centuries of ill-treatment from Equestria at large and Celestia in particular, but the point remains, Luna never would have attacked if she weren't under an existential threat. Celestia was going to take everything Luna had rightfully earned, for what seems like little more reason than a noble didn't like that the Sarosians were successful.
By whatever metric you like, Celestia betrayed Luna. The moment that decision was made, Celestia betrayed Luna in the worst way she could.
11862963
Celestia ordered the guards to arrest Luna, they pointed guns at her. Celestia threatened to take away Luna's connection to the source of immortality, which is equivalent to murder. What is this, if not the attack of Celestia the first?
I agree with the rest. Celestia is a cruel butt here. I was also not satisfied with the denouement of all this...
I’m thinking the side story will be sunset pov and sequel will contain Celestia flashbacks
God... I won't lie, the denouement and the ending made me cry, as well as some moments from the Luna's memories.
however, IMHO, the flashback moments sometimes took you out of the story (for God's sake, in the last flashback I forgot that I was reading a story with Lucas and not with the Luna)
But in the same way, it perfectly gave insight into the character, his motives and his emotions.
Otherwise, I got wonderful emotions from reading it. The dialogue, the story, the plot, everything good.
The only thing is that I hope that in the sequel there will be fewer such lapses in memory, or at least not by 1/4 of the volume, please. Only if it's worth it. ((IMHO on the last paragraph))
Аnd please, I pray, I want to know further the story of these two poor fellows as soon as possible. But take your time, you deserve it.
Thanks
((idk this is my first detailed review, but I thought I should thank the author, sorry if this is somehow crumpled and unclear))
11862163
I'll admit it wasn't ideal, but I had my reasons for writing it like that.
11862191
I'm a few chapters in, but writing is going to slow for a month or two because of irl things.
11862202
We'll just have to see what happen(s/ed)
11862266
You're telling me, it's weird not posting.
11862328
Thank you!
*theatrical bowing*
11862963
Indeed.
On the subject though, I hope a few of you do reread the whole thing, and see how much foreshadowing I sprinkled all over.
11863103
Thank goodness the story isn't over then.
11863640
She does deserve the snoogles.
11864139
I've already confirmed the sidefic will be Celestia's pov while the sequel will continue with Luna.
11864217
I find myself tearing up every time I even think about the final few chapters.
11864425
The hints were there.
11865372
About the snoogles, I agree, but I also find that answer vague and unconvincing. Please give her the chance to grasp happiness.
Not Celestia though. She (seemingly) deserves this. Like I'm pretty sure someone else said in one of these comments, she is remorseful, but remorse doesn't entitle her to forgiveness, and she certainly deserves no absolution. I'm not sure there is a possible justification, but I'm eager to see what you come up with.