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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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We're seeing Luna's perspective, in which she is taking the burden of leadership seriously and working herself to the bone to minimize any chance of things going wrong.
What I think Celestia took away from that interaction was that Luna would rather focus on the war than the peace they're fighting for, and that she doesn't trust anypony enough to delegate anything.
I wonder if Celestia thought she was moderating Luna's "violent tendencies" during their rule. She already seemed to think of herself as Luna's "caretaker" because Luna was Moon Marked, so it's not much of a leap to think she decided she was responsible for keeping Luna "on a leash".
Celestia, in light with all the ponies during the party. Luna, slinking in her office unknown, slaving away making sure they can keep partying. But then again, when you come down to it, Lulu has the support of her armies. She's done battle with them, and they trust her to lead them to victory. Will Celestia somehow subvert Luna's army into favoring her?
Somehow, I doubt that, but it's also not impossible. Luna seems to be able to gain the trust and loyalty of the armies she raises, from this campaign to the Griffin campaign with the bat ponies.
Who's side will her army take when Luna is blasted into space? Actually, what will Celestia even say about Nightmare Moon? Will she try and trick them into some 'false' story of her sister being stolen away by some monster? Will she tell the truth? And in either case, what we'll the remains of Luna's army do? Will they be tricked by Celestia should she lie?
Will they be placated by Celestia, or will they choose... 'different' methods of expressing their displeasure at what one could call a betrayal? A betrayal of the only ponies who ever saw the batponies/thestral/nox-something for what they are, just ponies. The one who came down to offer them work, jobs, meals, and comradery? The very pony who went against her own sister for trying to take those away from them?
I shall ever be interested in the after math of Lulu's betrayal.
Another successful daily upload! Thank you author for the gay autistic horse fic 😂
Finally caught up. I gotta say, I'm really glad I gave this story a shot. The chapters are short, sure, but there's a lot of them and they update frequently. The development of Luna's character makes her feel more real and different from the one in the show. Originally I had a strange aversion to Luna being written in first person. I found it odd, like she's not someone you can do that with. But over time, and especially with this latest memories stretch, my opinion changed.
That said, there are some issues I've kept to myself that make it a little harder to read. Mainly spelling and grammar. There's little mistakes all over the place, but that's pretty common, especially for a fic that, seemingly, releases daily. Kudos, btw. But one mistake keeps returning. It was a consistent problem for like... fifty chapters? Suddenly went away, then just as suddenly returned.
"It's" with an apostrophe is a contraction. It stands for "it is". To make the possessive form of 'it', you simply add an 's' with no apostrophe. Instead, every combination of those letters has been met with an apostrophe in most chapters. I have OCD. Diagnosed. One of the things that really gets me and drives me nuts is consistent grammatical incorrectness, especially if the writer should know better. I have a friend who constantly triggers it with 'there' 'they're' and 'their'. I've pointed it out countless times, but they've never deigned to correct it, despite saying they would.
I guess what I'm saying is: please, for the sake of my sanity and continued enjoyment, edit your its's. I don't expect you to do it for existing chapters. That's a lot of work. But at least try to keep it in mind for future chapters and I will be a happy man. Then again, I'm just one guy. No one else seems to be complaining about it.
Oh, and commas. They're trikkier than they seem. I love the use of the Oxford comma, I wish more people used it. But you seem to have fallen into the trap of using a comma whenever you want a pause, such as a dramatic declaration. Unfortunately for both of us, that's not how they work. They decide subjects in a list, and seperate sentance segments. A general rule of thumb: if you have a comma on either side of a chunk of sentance, try removing the whole chunk. If the sentance doesn't flow or make sense, you've likely misused the comma.
Other than that, and some things I've brought up in earlier comments, I have no critiques. You are a very good writer, and have captivated my and many other people's attention. There's a reason this story keeps showing up on the features list. Keep up the good work!
I love these backstory chapters, however personally they would seem more at home in a detached fic. I honestly think I like these backstory chapters more than the main one at this point. I think if you uploaded these as a separate story it would aid this fic in its identity, as I don't think having two totally different types of stories in one is good. Seeing as a huge portion of this fic is made up as backstory, separating the two and just leaving a few main backstory chapters in the main story might be good. I would honestly just read this backstory by itself and still love it. Keep it up!
11829857
While I understand where you're coming from, I disagree with that suggestion. This fic, rather than being a series of scenes written and posted on a whim, was clearly planned out meticulously. The narrative flow, including the flashback scenes, is deliberate. Detaching the flashback scenes from the present day scenes would not only disrupt that flow, it would confuse readers who want to read the whole story, which the author has confirmed will extend to at least one sequel fic.
11829001
Perhaps... Perhaps...
No but seriously, I love your speculations. However in the interest of keeping things unspoiled, I can't respond with a definite yes or no.
But keep going!
11829116
Oh you have no idea how much I want to share regarding that.
11829123
*ghey autistic horse noises intensifies!*
11829707
I'll do my best to get them, but I may get distracted by my own story.
11829857
I can see where you're coming from. However, if I did do that, I would then have the worse problem of 'overly referencing the side fic' in the main story. For example, let's say I were to introduce a character in the side fic. But then somehow, someway... That character makes it into the main fic. The audience would then wonder 'wait who's that? why is our protagonist familiar with them? why should we care about them?' In the end, having the flashback chapters included in this fic is the much less egregious way of telling the story.
That said, I do regret my naming convention for the flashback chapters. They are however an excellent way to not spoil anything within the chapter. When the fic is finally completely published, I think I will backtrack and rename the chapters to be more unique.
Tldr; 11829876 is more correct than even they know.