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Deathscar


Cutting slices from the cake of life


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The last day of school has all but come and gone. Rainbow and the others have left to prepare the holidays with their families, leaving Sunset all by herself. Ready to spend another Christmas alone, Sunset exits CHS only to be greeted by a familiar face. Someone that comes bearing a gift Sunset never thought she'd receive.

In fact, it might just be the most important gift of Sunset's life.


This story was featured on the front page of FiMFiction on the 25th of December, rising to 1st on the feature box on the 26th of December.


Cover art is done by baekgup

Cover edit (adding the words and editing so it look like a story cover) gifted to me on Christmas by Novel Idea

Edit (26/12/2016): In my haste to get this ready by Christmas, I neglected to mention that Warming A Hearth in Another World by Flutterpriest was one of the inspirations behind this tale. I always try to give credits where they're due but this one slipped through the cracks, sorry!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

This was a beautiful story. It perfectly captures the duality of the season for Sunset and it was nice to see all of her work being rewarded.

7817421 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

God I'm such a sucker for this kind of thing. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Well done.

7817668 You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read the story! :)


7817671 Thanks so much!

Good job and Merry Christmas!

I came expecting happy fluff.
But I did not give you permission to give me these stronger feels.
:heart:

This is a wonderful story! And Merry Christmas! :twilightsmile:

“You’re not proposing to me already right?”

Pfft, I wish.

Twilight instantly recognized the voice, and she felt as if the air had been knocked out of her lungs. The angered thoughts vanished in an instant, and she felt her hooves shake immensely.

“You know, the alicorn look really suits you.”

With tears flowing from her eyes, she spun around and sure enough, there she was, with that signature smirk on her face. Silence enveloped the two mares for several seconds, broken only by one line.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Twilight.”

I like how you never actually specify that it's Sunset who Twilight is talking to here, but we know anyway. Nicely done.

Anyway, this is the best. I appreciate the little shipping elements, but it's really the Equestrian Medal of Honor stuff that's the heart of this story. What an idea. Sunset absolutely deserves this, and if she's not ready to directly reconcile with Celestia yet, that one gesture of approval breaks much of the barrier between them, and is arguably the next best thing, implying pretty quickly that they will be on good terms with each other if they choose to resume their relationship. Sunset arriving in Equestria for the holidays is pretty lovely as well, though it only makes me want to know what happens next! The romantic element - if that's what it is - is subtle and cleverly underplayed, and I appreciate that a lot, though without the Romance tag on there, I'm sort of wondering if that's what you were going for, or if I'm just misinterpreting the signals. It's wonderful either way.

7817702 Thank you, and Merry Christmas to you too!

7817722 I'm sorry, I'll ask for permission next time ;) Thanks for reading!

7817792 Thank you! Merry Christmas to you as well!

7817835 I didn't put the Romance tag cause I didn't want people to know who the stranger was :P. Same reason I didn't put Twilight as the second character. I'm very glad you enjoyed it and glad you appreciated the underplayed elements (and could pick up on it!) ^^ Thanks for reading and the really detailed comment!

I loved this story you sir or madame deserve a favorite and like :raritywink:

Simple, but heartfelt. Nicely done!

Wow, I am glad that I saw this! It was nicely, wellfully, written with those subtle undertexts underlining the story.:twilightsmile:

I do wish it were longer, but that has to do more with I tend to read a lot at one time, and not that it needed more. It was excellent! And no matter what I saw... you did it right! Also don't worry about getting permission to "hit" people in the feels, it was their choice to read the story. Hence making it so that they give consent to whatever rollercoaster they may feel.:pinkiehappy:

Nicely done, dude.

uh why would sunset say the alicorn look suits you to twilight sunset has never seen princess twilight as anything but an alicorn

I love that celestia used her full title on a present to sunset...

She couldn’t hold the emotions in any longer. Tears flowed from eyes as she dived into Twilight’s arms. She bawled and sobbed loudly into Twilight’s winter coat, wrapping her own arms tightly around her friend’s.

I swear I'm not crying I'm watering the inside of my eyelids ...

Good job writing this

That was sweet and, yes, Sunset has earned at least some manner of recognition for all her self-sacrifice in the defence of Harmony.

I'm not used to the Feel Train being this happy! :pinkiehappy:
Happy Hearths Warming to all!

7818064 Thank you very much!

7818059 Sir! And thank you!

7818092 Heh I was joking when I said I would ask for permission, but yes, if you read it you've agreed to the Terms and Conditions! Also I'm really glad you liked the story! Thank YOU for reading it and taking the time to leave a comment! (And catching the subtexts/subplots in the tale!)

7818122 Thanks for reading it man!

7818156 In my head it was told in a sort of playful-joking sorta way. Guess I didn't transfer it well on text :twilightsheepish:

7818211 My idea is that Celestia is still hesistant to put just her name, as she doesn't know how Sunset feels about her in person/pony, as she would only know from Twilight's words. As such, she's not so much declaring she's greater than Sunset with the title, more of 'I'm not sure if you still think me as someone closer'.

7818347 Thank you for reading it. I hope those are good tears. Christmas Spirit tears? :)

7818395 She's definitely earned it that's for sure.

7818408 Happy Hearth's Warming to you as well! Have a great holiday ahead of you!

I'm not crying, I'm telling you that I am not crying! Seriously, I didn't cry but I was close.

Beautiful story and one of the best I have ever read on this site. Twilight and Sunset are best characters ever! I wish the best for you and have a Happy Hearth's Warming and a great Merry Holidays.

7818458 Same to you! Thanks for giving it a chance and giving such glowing praise. Happy Hearth's Warming and happy holidays! Have an awesome celebration ahead of you!

Helluva cute. I like it. Another!!! :pinkiecrazy:

With more shipping this time, if possible :pinkiehappy:

There's NEVER enough shipping! :raritystarry:

7818459 And I mean that when say this is one of the best stories that I have read. If you don't believe me check my profile page for confirmation. And it's Merry Holidays!

Watch this you don't get it.

7818468 Holy crap that was really funny! Merry Holidays! Also, I checked your profile and damn, that's such an honor. Thank you so much for putting it on there with such other great fics!

7818463 Careful, don't hit something in the water as you're shipping!

7818475 multifiles.pressherald.com/uploads/sites/4/2013/06/Film+Robert+Downey+Jr_Semp.jpg
By the way, because of how I do ranking your story is #2 on my all-time list, only behind the legendary Fallout Equestria

7818448 definitely, warm fuzzy tears

Comment posted by Lulu Belle deleted Dec 25th, 2016

Good job! Such a beautiful, cute and warm story- even brought me to tears :raritycry: Happy Hearth's Warming! :heart:

7818491 Holy crap damn. That really does mean a lot! Thanks so much!

7818651 Happy Hearth's Warming! :pinkiesmile:

Bravo, good sir. This is a very cute and heartwarming story. This might give me some inspiration for a new year's story. Congrats on the feature, and merry christmas :pinkiehappy:

Cute and heartwarming. Even if I always think that it would take time (and many chapters) for Sunset to come back to Equestria, here, it serves the ending very well.
Also, I like how you keep the romance very low, in this story but also in others, when it's not the main goal. Some people tend to focus to much on it just to have cute and sappy scenes. I understand how it appeals to some readers, but I tend to get annoyed by a story which is delayed by these moments.

And of course, because I have to:

cruiseandmaritime.com/slir/w740-h320-c740:320/components/com_cruises/images/ships/ship1-main.jpg

7818720 Thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you too, and if I can inspire any form of art with this story, I'll be extremely happy.


7818753 Choo choo, here comes the shipping ;)

Simply delightful. A wonderful dash of shipping without being overt. It was subtle and well-crafted. Heck, I was even still guessing if there really was shipping until near the end.

That medal...

You're a jerk for making me cry on Christmas morning. Just so you know. :ajbemused:

And while I would dearly love a sequel, it's better if there's not. Leave the rest to the imagination. All good stories do exactly that. Complete the story, while still allowing the story to continue in the reader's imagination. :twilightsmile:

Well done and I'm very much looking forward to seeing what you whip up for SunLight Sliders!

(Oh! And congratulation on not only getting the Featured Box, but the coveted "Hot" tag as well!)

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/5a/f6/05/5af605b7995459fc78f51668dae350d6.gif

A sneaky strike against my feels is it author? Good move and a sweet christmas story you have here. I especially liked the medal of honor scene and, even if it was only implied, the Sunlight pairing is always nice to see and an instant plus in my biased book.

The ending was also every kind of adorable and I'm glad it wasn't me writing as, to Tartarus with the cheesy and clicheness of it, I wouldn't have been able to resist having mistletoe over their heads in that scene. JUST KISS DAMN IT! :twilightsmile:

It's a bit jarring to refer to native human Twilight as Sci-Twi mid-narrative, even though that's her colloquial moniker in the fandom. Minor nit pick, but otherwise beautifully executed.

7818816 Yeah when I saw it was not only in the feature box, but had received the 'Hot' tag as well, I almost freaked in front of my friends on Christmas! So I'm glad I could (mostly) control myself ;) Also Sunlight sliders is such a great idea, I can't wait to see what crazy concoction we all come up with!

7819437 I have a feeling Sunset would be the type to basically hand mistletoe in 500 different places in the castle just so she has an excuse to kiss Twi 500 times.

7819597 Thank you! Yeah I agree on that part, but it's very hard to describe/talk about her without sounding sluggish or jarring. I found Sci-Twi got to the point quickly and moved past it the quickest.

That was a great story, :twilightsmile: You did a wonderful job with this little one shot :ajsmug: It was just enough to put closer to the story but also open to a sequel if you want to, though you don't have to. :raritystarry: You also didn't bog down the story with details but still got the point across :raritywink: Bravo you did a awesome job, thanks for the wonderful short :twilightsmile:

7819712 you must write a sequel!

7820498 Thank you so much for the compliments! I won't be writing a sequel, though I'm not stopping others from doing so! I left it open specifically for that purpose!

7820504 Thank you Captain!

7820530 Sadly I won't, though I'm not stopping other writers from writing it. If they wanna go for it, they got my best wishes!

Nice.:yay:
Sweet.:twilightsmile:
Fav'ed.:pinkiehappy:

Oh, this was so SWEET! Really well done! :pinkiehappy:

Good... but needs more explosions.

7821267 Thank you!

7821980 Aww thanks so much!

7822034 I'm afraid that can't be accommodated for this story :P

This is such a positive story, I couldn't think of anything better for the holiday season! It kept me smiling through the entire story. Some nice Sunlight certainly brightened it up as well:raritywink: Thank you for the lovely story!

7822919 You're welcome! Glad it could brighten your day!

That was such a sweet story.

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