In the dead of night, a cloaked figure enters a witch's hut, desperate for a solution to an unsolvable problem. Hoping to help, the witch lays out five cards on the table, each one representing an important point in the figure's past. Maybe by exploring its past, the witch can save its fragile and shattered future.
Written for the Under The Suns writeoff!
Cover art done by Haze
Proofread done by Krickis
That was a really sweet story. I love reading about Sunset and Celestia's early relationship.
8283101 Thank you!
what is the challange any ways as in this write off what ws it
8283122
You get a topic and you have to use one of the artworks. You have 3 days to write a story based on the two combined and then submit it for voting!
This is good.
It is great to see this coming to FimFic. Your entry was already a solid story, and now that you've polished it, it's better.
Like I've already said, I loved the structure of your story. The back and forth between the flashbacks and the present sets a great pace.
I also see that you cut off the parts I found lacking subtlety and it pleases me . While it was a bit of a nitpick, it was still a bit jarring to have this telly part.
Overall, good job, and have a nice trip to BronyCon.
PS: I added your fic to the the Writeoff group. If you ever keep posting Writeoff entries to FimFic, see with horizon so that he could grant you the right to add the stories to the folders.
8283212
Thank you!
8283899
Heh never got to thank you for the comments! Yeah if I ever participate in a writeoff again I'll be sure to join the group and ask for permission! Thanks for giving it a read!
8284079
Yep!
Are you sure she's a witch? Is she lighter than a duck?
Interesting take on the Sunset and Celestia relationship. Usually Sunset gets more of the blame, but nice to see it from Celestia's perspective too, her own guilt and issues. Though Celestia was probably too... restrictive with Sunset (I wonder about that Starswirl reference), hope that doesn't mean she goes to the other extreme of being too lax with Twilight (not like she's perfect either). No idea who that witch is (usually Zecora fulfills the shaman role in series, but not like Celestia would know her this early).
8285273
...i do not get this reference! Unless you're talking about the sinking of witches during the medival days to test if they are buoyant.
8285758
No identity on the witch! Wanted to keep it that way! And yeah, I always found it bad that Sunset gets all the blame. I think Sunset would not have grown up that way if not from Celestia's actions.
That was nice.
Too bad Celestia still does something wrong, given that the Twilight we know is a neurotic mess constantly teetering on the verge of a breakdown who'd probably commit murder if she was convinced Celestia would approve.
8285273
It's a reference to the movie Monty Python & the Holy Grail. Never seen it i guess?
Great story! you know, I thought the pony in the cloak was actually Sunset until Celestia's cloak fell off, it was a nice plot twist.
8287419
Ah! Sadly not! I've seen a lot of clips/parts of it online but never the full movie!
8287725
Then my misdirection worked ;)
8287419 You responded to me, not to the author.
8288254 I demand a shrubbery! If you do not, I shall say 'ni' to you! NI! NI!
8288381
If you say ni to me, I will say it to you!
Oh, this was very nicely done. Great framing device, good midstory twist, and a fantastic resolution. Thank you for it.