• Published 26th Jun 2012
  • 16,032 Views, 84 Comments

The Trees are Screaming - RB_



A diary written by Apple Bloom, detailing the events leading to a horrifying conclusion.

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The Trees are Screaming

June 26

Dear diary,
Hello! Today, Sweetie, Scootaloo and I went to the library to try and get cutie marks in reading, but then I accidentally found Spike’s diary, and… well…
I never realized he felt that way about Miss Rarity…
But it gave me this great idea to start a diary of my own! I may not get a cutie mark for journalism, but maybe I can get one for journaling!

June 27

Dear diary,
I told Scootaloo about my idea, but she said that diaries were lame. I still think it’s a good idea, though…
We were going to try being cutie mark crusader deep sea divers today, but we don’t live anywhere near the sea, so we had to use the lake. We borrowed some gear from Pinkie Pie, but it was really big and heavy, so we ended up too exhausted from carrying it to swim, so we stashed it nearby, and we’re going to try again tomorrow.

June 28

Dear diary,
Today, the Crusaders and I tried diving again. The stuff was where we left it. It took a while to get it all on, but it was worth it! We got to swim with the turtles, and there were all these pretty fish around! It was amazing!
Still no cutie mark, though…
Anyway, since I live closest to the lake, the girls got to come over for dinner! Granny Smith even baked one of her world-famous apple pies!
After the girls went home, I was going to go to bed, but I noticed that Winona was acting really weird! She had her ears back, like she was afraid of something, and she kept barking at nothing. I couldn’t see anything out there, I wonder what was wrong?

June 30

Dear diary,
Sorry for not writing, I’ve just been busy. Winona went missing, and we spent all of yesterday looking for her, but we never found her. Granny said that she probably just ran off, and that she’d be back the next day, but it’s been a day, and she’s still gone!
It just isn’t like Winona to run off…
I miss her…

July 1

Dear diary,
Today, I’m writing to you from the Crusader clubhouse. We were formu forma making our plans for the day, when suddenly, this HUGE storm came out of nowhere, with thunder and lightning and everything! If sis were here, she’d probably say it was raining cats and dogs!
Winona still hasn’t come back yet…
But anyway, we didn’t want to go out in the rain, so we decided to stay here and wait it out, but I was bored, so I decided to write to you! Scoots and Sweetie Belle are playing a game of go fish, and I get to play the winner.

July 1
Dear Apple Bloom’s diary,
Hello! This is Sweetie Belle! Apple Bloom said I could write something in her diary to pass the time. It was surprising, I mean, I know I would never let anypony see my diary, but she said that she hadn’t really written anything secret or personal in here, so I guess it’s okay.
Scootaloo beat me at go fish, but I think she was cheating; she kept getting just the right card whenever she went fishing. I only ended up with one set in the end!
It looks like Apple Bloom isn’t doing much better… Hey! Scootaloo keeps scratching her wings before she fishes! I bet she has extra cards hidden under there!

July 1 (later)

Dear diary,
Sorry to bother you again. The storm still hasn’t stopped. Sweetie and Scoots are arguing about something…
Did something just move out there?

July 2

Dear diary,
So, eventually the storm passed, but it had gotten late, so we ended up just going home afterwards.
Still no sign of Winona…
Anyway, I went back to the clubhouse today. Luckily, it was still mostly intact, so I didn’t have to fix it up too much. But I kept thinking I saw things moving out of the corner of my eye, and it kept feeling like I was being watched, but nopony was there…
Hey, maybe it was Winona!

July 3

Dear diary,
I told Applejack about my theory, and we went back to the clubhouse, but we didn’t find anything. I suggested that she might be in the forest, but sis refused to go in to look for her, and told me that if I so much as put my hoof into the forest, then she would ground me for a whole week!
I’ll show her.

July 4

Dear diary,
I found Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, and persuaded them to help me search. It took a bit of effort to get Sweetie to come, but in the end we managed to convince her. We’re about to set out!
Wish us luck!


Oh, Celestia, help me, I got away, I’m the only one left, the others are dead, I’m hiding in a cave I found.
Sweet Celestia, the trees, the trees are alive, they’re alive!
We were just walking down the path, and I saw something move, so we went off the path to try and find it. It led us further and further away from the trail, and we came to a clearing in the woods, and then there was this screech, and a branch swooped down, and, and, and it impaled itself into Sweetie, and she was bleeding, and we tried to run but there were vines covered in thorns, and they wrapped around our legs, and the thorns dug into us, and the trees, I don’t know how to describe it, they didn’t walk, it was like they were sliding, and the clearing just kept getting smaller and smaller…I managed to pull my legs out from the vines, but the vines were around Scoots’ neck, and they were choking her, and, and I heard her bones being crushed, so I ran away, through a gap in the trees. They tried to get me, but they only managed to get my leg, it’s bleeding really bad, there’s a huge chunk of it missing…

No, no I can hear them, I can hear them coming! They’re coming! Celestia, Luna, anyone, please, please, HELP ME!

The trees are screaming!

Comments ( 84 )

Really great story! Just a little to short. I hope, however, I can see a sequel?

Huh. That was....Huh.

Wow this wasn't bad. There's not usually anything decent in horror fics. I liked the diary format a lot. It was awesome the way it fed information without having a narrator blatantly explaining it. However, I think in the ending you should have kept that up and not blatantly said what happened. Great horror never spells things out. Sometimes the greatest fear is the fear of the unknown. I think you could have played to that more by saying "they" instead of trees and only hint that Sweetie and Scootaloo got mutilated then slam the audience with that cool last line.

I must say, I'm not a huge fan of horror, but I like this, bit short though and goes into a bit to much detail, stopping the reader slightly from making their own thoughts. Also, since it's written by Applebloom, who's just a filly, I didn't really expect her to say stuff like 'I heard her bones being crushed'. Nice story overall though, the diary format works well.

RB_

815546
Really? I've heard of a movie like this, but I don't know.

As far as pony horror goes, this is in the top ranks, no question, full stop. As short as it is, the diary entries keep building at just the right pace, and even include wonderful asides like Scoots cheating at cards. I sort of like that there's no explanation for how or why the trees started moving, or if there's any correlation/causation between that and them going diving. It's ambiguous. Yet while mystery is good, I always prefer to look up supplemental material where the author explains what happened, because while a mystery is good in fiction, it only pushes back the specre of contrivance, and I've always enjoyed an author that can explain their own world, even if the participants never discover the reason.

Very worthy of a thumbs up.

I dunno. It's well written and it lulls you into a fake sense of safety, with all the little tidbits Applebloom (and Sweetie) writes and then BAM! Killer trees out of nowhere!

Just my opinion though but I think your story needs to be fleshed out a bit more. Other than that, it was an enjoyable read:twilightsmile:

Fuck you smokey I got a brushfire to start:pinkiecrazy:

AJ
AJ #9 · Jun 26th, 2012 · · ·

Not sure if you are a LOTR fan, but this reminds me a lot of Balin's recollection of losing Moria to the orcs and goblins in the Fellowship of the Ring (if you aren't a LOTR, you have no idea what I'm talking about). Anyway, I thought this was good! And if you were inspired by LOTR, the awesomeness has been doubled! :pinkiehappy:

note to self: dont read a fic that is called "the trees are screaming" right before you decided to go to bed

Very well written, gave me the chills. :pinkiegasp:

Dear internet diary.
It's 1.38AM, I was about to go to sleep and decided to just read one more story, that proved to be a mistake. I think I will manage to get some sleep, but only because I'm very tired. Also I'll never go inside the woods again and tommorow I will chop down the tree next to my house, I hate trees, they can't be trusted.

P.S. very good fic, but so short.

RB_

816160
Unfortunatly, no, I am not a LOTR fan...
(on a totally unrelated note, we really need a Luna emoticon...)

wat

PLZ MOOOAR THS WAS SOO GOOD BAT SHURT MAAAORRAR

I'm not really sure what to think of this. The writing is nice, and I can't find anything wrong with it (some weird phrasing here and there, but that's only in character for Apple Bloom), but I still can't enjoy the story, for some reason. Right around the "the others are dead" bit is where you lost me. Maybe pony-horror (gore, death, whatever) is just not my thing.

Anyways, I'll give you a thumbs up for your troubles, but what I'd like to know is... How did Apple Bloom write in her diary... in a cave? Did she bring it with her? That's not normally something you do with a diary, and it'd be tricky for her to carry it around all the time. Then there's the issue of Apple Bloom writing in her diary while she's being chased (apparently), but I suppose that could just be the filly herself, making irrational decisions due to shock.

Also, this very vaguely reminded me of "Day of the Triffids".

-Scoots

It's Sweetie Belle, not Sweetie Bell :P

Anyways, this was descent. It was written rather well- but it seemed rushed at the end and didn't seem to capture any horror. Especially since it was slightly unrealistic. Try to build up atmosphere better.

While Cupcakes isn't exactly held in positive light, one of the good things it did was want to make you run away and hide. You KNEW something bad was going to happen, it was coming... and when it did, it was one of the worst things imaginable.

Surpass the terrors of others imaginations- they must KNOW it's going to be fearful, but make it more fearful then they had expected.

Well, the title drop at the end just ruined the mood for me.:ajbemused:

Dear god... :pinkiegasp: This is rather scarry for me, Seeing that i live IN a LOG cabin IN the forest. :twilightoops: Not good... :applejackconfused:

Well, I guess the questions here are...
How did the book get from the cave to outside the forest?
And did Twilight have the sense to let Celestia know about the potential killer trees? >_>

815603
Sounds like paranormal Activity or marble hornets.

815603 i think the movie you are reffering to is the Blair Witch Project.

I Didn't Need To Sleep Anyway.

Not bad! I think it could have been done better if the end had lasted longer. but it captured the spirit of a horror story. Slow clap here.

816383 I agree. I love how the story builds up the tension and has your mind do all the work. :twilightoops: I loved this story. I'll admit it was a little short, but I'm not one to complain about size of story. Keep up the good work ReluctantBrohoof!! :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss: You definitely seem to have a talent for writing horror fics! :pinkiecrazy:

816476 Agreed on the Luna Emoticon thing.
Oh Celestia, I'm so sorry for the CMC, but I want to know more. I really want to know more, even if it scars me for weeks mentally.
Damn, we need two more emoticons, a Luna one and a 'scream of terror' one. "The trees are screaming" :pinkiescream: would fit.

818904 ...I'll leave it to someone else to do, if they really want it.
Why yes, I am a chicken. :scootangel:

RB_

816969
Remember, she had it with her in the clubhouse?
I think it's safe to say she carries it around with her.

For some reason, I am reminded of the Day of the Triffids.
I hate you now.
Regardless of my newfound hatred of you, this story was alright. It was too short and the end felt too rushed to really capture any horror feel, and I think Apple Bloom would be a bit more shaken after watching her friends die horribly in front of her.

AWESOME STORY! You ROCK!:rainbowkiss::yay::rainbowdetermined2:

The Ents have been angered apparently, remember what they did to Isengard?

Why would you do that to them Fluttershy! Whhyyyy!

I live in the woods and now Im scared to go out side. :twilightoops: Thanks

...
I KNOW WHO DID THIS TO APPLEBLOOM
It would have to be...
SOMEONE NOT ME!
This is an amazing story, ohmygod I'm so sorry for Applebloom.
I'm so like this: :applecry:

I can't help but think there's something missing, but regurdless I kinda thought that there could have been a few more entries right before the last two entries.:unsuresweetie: All and all, I thought this was alright story.:trixieshiftright:

I do agree that it went a little quickly. A little more setup would have been nice, maybe some more signs of things going crazy (did AJ actually know what was happening, or what?)

But other than that, I was having a rotten day today, and this improved it immensely! :pinkiehappy:

I... may need psychological help. :applecry:

ooookay? I get that this is from a filly's perspective in her diary, and that the Everfree is a freaky forest... but there's no explanation for why the trees would suddenly attack, nor what it was for sure that Applebloom was seeing outside during the storm. It just feels... incomplete to me.

RB_

4861174 Yeah, I know the pacing is off. First fic blues, you know.
Also, If you think you need help, then I need to be put into a padded room.:pinkiecrazy:

LostNarrator read this story, take a listen:

5705027 Looks like someone beat me to the punch of letting the author know... :twilightblush:

5706088 I apologize for that, I didn't mean to.

While I tend to stay away from tragic horror fics like this, I've got to give you credit. This was really well done. The adventures of the CMC was well played as he sets up our characters by showing us their adventures and their bonding, before dumping a great big tragedy all over it without being too ham-fisted. This is a mistake that I find a lot of authors make. They usually give too much focus on the characters in trying to make us feel sorry for characters that bite the bullet. The build up was nice and slow, keeping the readers attention with the CMC while hinting that there's something afoot before BAM, whipping the rug out from under us. It's short and to the point, which is why it works with the tragic end. I thumbed it up, and my hat goes off to you for job well done.

Also, I think this movie brings to mind 'The Evil Dead.'

PS, dose that mean we're going to get a squeal with Apple Jack sporting a chainsaw on her front right leg?

We need a sequel and know what happen to the main 6 after cmc have gone to the forest and what will happen to the demon forest

tragic. very tragic.

RB_

5706088
I... I have no words...

5754629 I suppose that's a good thing? lol

I hate myselfr for reading this plus I was listening to The Lost Narrator's reading of it, yep I will sleep with the night light tonight

Wow, I didn't spected that :fluttershbad:

Not bad...... Gonna put it in my favs though.

Hey man, that's good, really good! ^^
I have a question...
Can I translate it to czech and publish it? Of course, I'm gonna credit you ^w^
I just want to ask you before I do something... ^^
:pinkiehappy:

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