• Member Since 19th May, 2012
  • offline last seen April 15th

RB_


Backflipping through reality at ludicrous speeds. What does RB stand for, anyway?

T

"Applejack?"
"Yes Twi?"
"I found this book outside the Everfree Forest... It seems to be Apple Bloom's diary."
"Mah sis kept a Diary? Does it say what happened to her?"
"...Yes..."


TheLostNarrator did a fantastic reading of this story some time ago; find it here.
Now with a reading in Finnish, courtesy of DubbiKnight.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 79 )

Really great story! Just a little to short. I hope, however, I can see a sequel?

Huh. That was....Huh.

Wow this wasn't bad. There's not usually anything decent in horror fics. I liked the diary format a lot. It was awesome the way it fed information without having a narrator blatantly explaining it. However, I think in the ending you should have kept that up and not blatantly said what happened. Great horror never spells things out. Sometimes the greatest fear is the fear of the unknown. I think you could have played to that more by saying "they" instead of trees and only hint that Sweetie and Scootaloo got mutilated then slam the audience with that cool last line.

Oh god... Not sure if I've seen a move about this. Not to original, but the way it's written...

I must say, I'm not a huge fan of horror, but I like this, bit short though and goes into a bit to much detail, stopping the reader slightly from making their own thoughts. Also, since it's written by Applebloom, who's just a filly, I didn't really expect her to say stuff like 'I heard her bones being crushed'. Nice story overall though, the diary format works well.

RB_

815546
Really? I've heard of a movie like this, but I don't know.

815603 Eh. It's not what it's based of of or anything like that. It's how it's written.
It's very well written. You shall earn a place on my user page.

As far as pony horror goes, this is in the top ranks, no question, full stop. As short as it is, the diary entries keep building at just the right pace, and even include wonderful asides like Scoots cheating at cards. I sort of like that there's no explanation for how or why the trees started moving, or if there's any correlation/causation between that and them going diving. It's ambiguous. Yet while mystery is good, I always prefer to look up supplemental material where the author explains what happened, because while a mystery is good in fiction, it only pushes back the specre of contrivance, and I've always enjoyed an author that can explain their own world, even if the participants never discover the reason.

Very worthy of a thumbs up.

I'm scared now.
Thanks a lot, I was just about to go to sleep.

I dunno. It's well written and it lulls you into a fake sense of safety, with all the little tidbits Applebloom (and Sweetie) writes and then BAM! Killer trees out of nowhere!

Just my opinion though but I think your story needs to be fleshed out a bit more. Other than that, it was an enjoyable read:twilightsmile:

Fuck you smokey I got a brushfire to start:pinkiecrazy:

AJ

Not sure if you are a LOTR fan, but this reminds me a lot of Balin's recollection of losing Moria to the orcs and goblins in the Fellowship of the Ring (if you aren't a LOTR, you have no idea what I'm talking about). Anyway, I thought this was good! And if you were inspired by LOTR, the awesomeness has been doubled! :pinkiehappy:

note to self: dont read a fic that is called "the trees are screaming" right before you decided to go to bed

Very well written, gave me the chills. :pinkiegasp:

Dear internet diary.
It's 1.38AM, I was about to go to sleep and decided to just read one more story, that proved to be a mistake. I think I will manage to get some sleep, but only because I'm very tired. Also I'll never go inside the woods again and tommorow I will chop down the tree next to my house, I hate trees, they can't be trusted.

P.S. very good fic, but so short.

RB_

816160
Unfortunatly, no, I am not a LOTR fan...
(on a totally unrelated note, we really need a Luna emoticon...)

wat

PLZ MOOOAR THS WAS SOO GOOD BAT SHURT MAAAORRAR

I'm not really sure what to think of this. The writing is nice, and I can't find anything wrong with it (some weird phrasing here and there, but that's only in character for Apple Bloom), but I still can't enjoy the story, for some reason. Right around the "the others are dead" bit is where you lost me. Maybe pony-horror (gore, death, whatever) is just not my thing.

Anyways, I'll give you a thumbs up for your troubles, but what I'd like to know is... How did Apple Bloom write in her diary... in a cave? Did she bring it with her? That's not normally something you do with a diary, and it'd be tricky for her to carry it around all the time. Then there's the issue of Apple Bloom writing in her diary while she's being chased (apparently), but I suppose that could just be the filly herself, making irrational decisions due to shock.

Also, this very vaguely reminded me of "Day of the Triffids".

-Scoots

It's Sweetie Belle, not Sweetie Bell :P

Anyways, this was descent. It was written rather well- but it seemed rushed at the end and didn't seem to capture any horror. Especially since it was slightly unrealistic. Try to build up atmosphere better.

While Cupcakes isn't exactly held in positive light, one of the good things it did was want to make you run away and hide. You KNEW something bad was going to happen, it was coming... and when it did, it was one of the worst things imaginable.

Surpass the terrors of others imaginations- they must KNOW it's going to be fearful, but make it more fearful then they had expected.

Well, the title drop at the end just ruined the mood for me.:ajbemused:

Dear god... :pinkiegasp: This is rather scarry for me, Seeing that i live IN a LOG cabin IN the forest. :twilightoops: Not good... :applejackconfused:

Well, I guess the questions here are...
How did the book get from the cave to outside the forest?
And did Twilight have the sense to let Celestia know about the potential killer trees? >_>

815603
Sounds like paranormal Activity or marble hornets.

815603 i think the movie you are reffering to is the Blair Witch Project.

I Didn't Need To Sleep Anyway.

Not bad! I think it could have been done better if the end had lasted longer. but it captured the spirit of a horror story. Slow clap here.

816383 I agree. I love how the story builds up the tension and has your mind do all the work. :twilightoops: I loved this story. I'll admit it was a little short, but I'm not one to complain about size of story. Keep up the good work ReluctantBrohoof!! :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss: You definitely seem to have a talent for writing horror fics! :pinkiecrazy:

816476 Agreed on the Luna Emoticon thing.
Oh Celestia, I'm so sorry for the CMC, but I want to know more. I really want to know more, even if it scars me for weeks mentally.
Damn, we need two more emoticons, a Luna one and a 'scream of terror' one. "The trees are screaming" :pinkiescream: would fit.

818904 ...I'll leave it to someone else to do, if they really want it.
Why yes, I am a chicken. :scootangel:

RB_

816969
Remember, she had it with her in the clubhouse?
I think it's safe to say she carries it around with her.

For some reason, I am reminded of the Day of the Triffids.
I hate you now.
Regardless of my newfound hatred of you, this story was alright. It was too short and the end felt too rushed to really capture any horror feel, and I think Apple Bloom would be a bit more shaken after watching her friends die horribly in front of her.

AWESOME STORY! You ROCK!:rainbowkiss::yay::rainbowdetermined2:

The Ents have been angered apparently, remember what they did to Isengard?

Why would you do that to them Fluttershy! Whhyyyy!

I live in the woods and now Im scared to go out side. :twilightoops: Thanks

...
I KNOW WHO DID THIS TO APPLEBLOOM
It would have to be...
SOMEONE NOT ME!
This is an amazing story, ohmygod I'm so sorry for Applebloom.
I'm so like this: :applecry:

I can't help but think there's something missing, but regurdless I kinda thought that there could have been a few more entries right before the last two entries.:unsuresweetie: All and all, I thought this was alright story.:trixieshiftright:

I do agree that it went a little quickly. A little more setup would have been nice, maybe some more signs of things going crazy (did AJ actually know what was happening, or what?)

But other than that, I was having a rotten day today, and this improved it immensely! :pinkiehappy:

I... may need psychological help. :applecry:

ooookay? I get that this is from a filly's perspective in her diary, and that the Everfree is a freaky forest... but there's no explanation for why the trees would suddenly attack, nor what it was for sure that Applebloom was seeing outside during the storm. It just feels... incomplete to me.

RB_

4861174 Yeah, I know the pacing is off. First fic blues, you know.
Also, If you think you need help, then I need to be put into a padded room.:pinkiecrazy:

LostNarrator read this story, take a listen:

5705027 Looks like someone beat me to the punch of letting the author know... :twilightblush:

5706088 I apologize for that, I didn't mean to.

While I tend to stay away from tragic horror fics like this, I've got to give you credit. This was really well done. The adventures of the CMC was well played as he sets up our characters by showing us their adventures and their bonding, before dumping a great big tragedy all over it without being too ham-fisted. This is a mistake that I find a lot of authors make. They usually give too much focus on the characters in trying to make us feel sorry for characters that bite the bullet. The build up was nice and slow, keeping the readers attention with the CMC while hinting that there's something afoot before BAM, whipping the rug out from under us. It's short and to the point, which is why it works with the tragic end. I thumbed it up, and my hat goes off to you for job well done.

Also, I think this movie brings to mind 'The Evil Dead.'

PS, dose that mean we're going to get a squeal with Apple Jack sporting a chainsaw on her front right leg?

We need a sequel and know what happen to the main 6 after cmc have gone to the forest and what will happen to the demon forest

tragic. very tragic.

RB_

5706088
I... I have no words...

5754629 I suppose that's a good thing? lol

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