• Member Since 17th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen September 1st

Magpiepony


I'm a pegasister who just can't get enough pony magic in her life!

T
Source

Fluttershy is trapped in a place she doesn't recognize, trying to find her friends and figure out how she got there. She's being pursued by something... and all she knows is to be afraid of it. With what limited knowledge she has she tries to piece together what happened to get her to this place and why she can't escape it.

Dramatic Reading can be found here!

Artwork was provided by LupiArts

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 19 )

New and interesting concept. I had an idea for Twilight as well but I never ended up posting it. You made a good use of this concept, though! Have a like (if I can give you one) and can't wait for more.

Well... this have me a chill.once listen to audio as well...more chills and scary.
nice job:pinkiecrazy::twilightblush:

Amazing job! I love this story! Will there not be a second one? I didn't really understand the ending that much:rainbowwild:

I don't usually read dark/sad stories but for some unknown reason I did for this one. (I actually hate most of them ) I'm glad I did. It was eerie and thought provoking.

As it's up to anyone interpretation here's mine:
Fluttershy is in a state of limbo. Discord has somehow saved her from death. We don't know how. She is depressed and wants her friends back. Her friends want her to leave this place and live on.( "Get out'a here") But that means to let go. That she may not see them but, she does know where they are (where she left them [in her heart?]). They, through Pinkie, say that she shouldn't let the monster get her. Who is the monster? Fluttershy's depression. It tells her to kill herself. To go see her friends again. But that means that she'll die and she does not want that. So there is the decision; do what her friends are telling her live and "continue w/o them", or do what her depression is telling her - kill herself and "be with her friends". The dream/magic can not make that decision for her. Since she didn't make the choice the dream starts over, and will continue until she does.
I hope it's at least somewhat what this story is about

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Unless the comment above is correct, I'm missing the connection between what Discord did and where Fluttershy is.

That said, I take it as the 'dark' Fluttershy is the real Fluttershy, dragging various other versions of herself into this place so she can kill them, because she has to be, or feels she has to be, really super-extra-dead to see her friends again. It's like three SCPs rolled into one! :B

jeez. Talk about cruel. Fluttershy can't even end it herself by letting herself kill herself.

...

that sounded better in my head... but you get my point.

6574099 that makes more sense than what i thought

What an amazing story. I cried so much.

So what I thought the story was:
Discord kept fluttershy alive a lot longer then her friends were, and eventually, in order to keep her longer, ended up utter her into some sort of limbo state. One part of her wants out to see her friends, the other parts wants away from discord. She Wanders this limbo over and over again due to this.

What a great story. Can't wait to see more from you!

I just listened to this on Losts channel. I guess you dug pretty deep for that one? But it worked so well :)

So dark it set shivers up my spine.....so twisted ill have nightmares about it......so evil it could kill me (awesome story!)

Damn mags you scared me senseless!

wait, omccb! Are you Losty's gf?

What happened to Fluttershy?:fluttercry:

8047593
IDK, I think we're supposed to make our own conclusions, but this reminds me of this scene...
Doctor Who Endless/Eternity/ Breaking the Wall

Well, you surely did justice to the dark and sad tag with this story, very well written. I think that a mystery tag would be fitting as well. And oh my, if I'm correctly piecing together the glimpses of the past, it gains one more level of darkness.

Fluttershy in purgatory, the poor dear. He didn't mean to make this happen, he just wanted to save her :(

I’ll be honest, the first time I read this, I wasn’t impressed at all. I actually considered it one of the lesser stories that I’ve read. But, upon revisiting it, I see it a bit differently now. As I have also written and thought out many dark and horrific stories, I can relate much better to this one, and I find it to be...good. It’s nice how it takes advantage of the age-old fear of the unknown, and then it uses...well I won’t spoil it here. What you did with the ending was certainly a very interesting revelation, though, which helped fit the tone you established. One big problem that I still notice, however, is that the pacing is way, way too slow. I’m all for slowly and subtly building a dark, creepy, and oppressive atmosphere, but when reading, it comes off more as filler. It’s tough to get it right, and people often go with their own ways of doing things, rather than the status quo, and I love that. The best creators are the ones who do things differently than the norm. I just know you have much more potential. Other than that, the grammar was good, the writing and descriptions were good, and the ending was good. Keep writing, which I have no doubt you will, and keep improving!

Y'know I'm reading this, and all I can think of is:

'There’s this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes. It sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away, the first second of eternity will have passed.'

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