• Member Since 8th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

DuskPhoenix


"If I can't be accurate, then I'm sure as hell gonna be extra." -BDG

T

Zecora finds a wounded mare in the forest, but something is not right with her unexpected guest. The only thing the mare will say to her is "I don't remember". When the mare's condition worsens, Zecora is faced with a disturbing question: how far will a pony go to forget?

Thanks to theforrealdeal for editing this story, you made it at least twenty percent cooler!

Go check out TheLostNarrator's awesome reading of this!

This idea would not leave me alone last night when I was trying to write the next chapter of my other story. I had to get it out of my head, so I posted it here. I hope this isn't terrible, and I hope this lets me finally get back on track.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Holy shit.:pinkiegasp: Good thing I have insomnia because I didn't plan on sleeping anyways.

Oh this is good. I was kept on my toes. I enjoy psychological thrillers like this.

This is some high quality writing, well done. I was very amused during and after reading it. I think the only reason that this story lacks the views it deserves, is because "tragedy, dark" aren't the most appealing of all categories.

Never the less, keep up the good work!:rainbowkiss:

4048315
Thank you! I should really join a group so I can try to get more views, but I don't really know which groups to go to. I put it in the Gem Hunters, but they've been backed up for a while now. Do you know any good groups to join?

This was very good for the length it was accomplished in. I want to say that a few things could use some work, but that's just my own tendency to add more detail and given the style here, that would sort of be beside the point, so I can't really suggest much.

Brilliance! Despite being a short story, it's tone and themes rival some of the good multi-chapter stories! Well done!

Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I've done a reading of this story. Thank you for writing such an awesome story! :twilightsmile:

4440945 Oh wow! I've never gotten a dramatic reading before. That was awesome, thank you for putting so much work into this! :heart:

4441583 I'm just glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

That sure was something.
Something creepy, but good nonetheless. :twilightsmile:

Oh...there is no words that can describe how hard this hit me. This really reached me on a personal level, for reasons only I can see and understand, and I thank you. It was a read that scared me out of my mind, and yet, I loved it fir everything it is!

that story is just amazing *_*
sad but amazingO_O

okay, i won't lie, i really like this story. I listened to lost's reading and thoroughly enjoyed it.

However, my brain won't let me ignore something. I realize it's meant to be that way, but i'm annoyed we don't learn just what had happened to that mare to make her like that.

5716493 I had thought about writing an afterword or a prologue or something with the story of how that happened, but it never seemed to fit. The theme of the story was more based on hopelessness, and we don't really need to know why the mare is hopeless to know that she is that way.

Also, every time I tried to think up a good situation for her to have been this way, I never found anything that I felt was good. Everything I thought up came up short, so I took that as a sign to keep it the way it is.

If you'd like to write up how you think it happened, please feel free! There was another user who was writing his own ideas of what had gone on, but I haven't heard from him in a while.

Love this. I don't have anymore words....

Beautifully done. Uncomfortably so, really. I've had crap happen that made me wonder if it was worth it to go on or if it'd be better to 'forget'. Thankfully nothing has broken me yet but the fear is always there and this story captures that fear very very well.

Very intriguing, and I love how caring Zecora is. Thumbs up :)

A very nice little ghost story :O Poor dear had so much trauma, but could simply be boiled down to a terrible accident while hiking :(

Not bad! It's a little too short to really affect me, but I can appreciate the writing. Zecora's rhymes were especially well done, I think.

I mean why though? Like what is the purpose of this story? Most stories are to gross the reader out or scare them. This was just a huge waste of my time.

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