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Trade negotiations. Board meetings. Formal garden parties. Not the definition of a fun weekend for Princess Celestia at all.
However, Celestia has a plan. Rarity’s going to join her this year, and by their gossiping powers combined, they may be able to turn this upcoming convention into something a little more unconventional.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Trigger Warning: Excessive use of the word 'aye'.
BRILLIANT.
And of course Luna's a better shouter.
7278235 I now have an excuse to use one of my favourite reaction images :v
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/882742__safe_solo_rainbow+dash_meme_screencap_animated_image+macro_tanks+for+the+memories_spoiler-colon-s05e05_do+i+look+angry.gif
However, I would argue there is a perfectly reasonable --rereads section-- ...nope, that was excessive. xP
This is
one ofthe finest thing I have preread ever, hooves down. 17/10.Time to start my second reread.
7278496 Aw, shucks -3-;
I'd post an "Oh, you" image but posting two reaction images in a row is bad form D:
So is using two emoticons in a row... >.> Shoot!
And now, looking at the word count, I realize it's three words away from being perfect. -o-
Aye!!!
Iron Thighs...
Best game of checkers ever!!!
...Why. It`s like the whole world runs on stupid in this tale.
This fantastically funny and so very true! Quack!
Excuse me while I laugh myself into a coma.
7280416 That was sort of the point. It was intended to be silly.
7279481 7280537 7280829
I'm glad to hear you all enjoyed it! :3
7280976
There`s silly... and there`s stupid. This is closer to second, unfortunately.
7281028 Okay. If you don’t mind, I’d be interested in hearing your opinion on why you think the world within this story runs on stupid as opposed to silly, and what you consider to be the distinction between the two.
7281091
Why stupid? Simple.
Why does Celestia put up with the nonsense in question? It could`ve been passed as silly if this was a one-off thing. But it`s not. Celestia is falling asleep at a meeting that takes a bulk of time to second the seconding of the seconded motion. Allowing it to exist unchanged while she shows clear disrespect to whole mess is ridiculous and stupid.
You could have passed it off as silly by having Celestia personally attend a function she usually offloads on the functionaries and taking a mickey out of them when she sees just how formulaic and ritualized things have had become. But you imply she does this routinely. This is no longer silly. This is stupid.
7281177 I guess sometimes you can't have silly without stupid. I personally thought the stupid and the silly contrasted well together.
7281177
Okay, so the issue comes from one aspect of one scene.
I’ll admit, it’s not 100% logical soundproof, but it’s not completely stupid as you seem to suggest. More on that in a bit.
Meetings are somehwat like this in real life. The reason organizations (such as governments) have a ritualized meeting process is for transparency. Every motion needs a second, or someone supporting it, and so on, and all of this is kept as a record (hence the secretary). In this story, it’s exaggerated to the point of silliness, to highlight (what I think is) the silliness of the ritual itself, but for Celestia to change this process would be to fight transparency, so her hooves are tied. Not provided in-text, I know. My bad. Ah well. I figured I didn’t have to spell everything out.
If the meeting was a one-off, as you suggest, then she wouldn’t know how boring the meeting is, there’d be no reason for her to invite Rarity to the summit, and the story wouldn’t have an opening scene with a good setup like it does now—the first scene would be the summit and the pacing would suffer, or the first scene would be Celestia walking in on and changing the meeting, which would hurt the focus. It’s not about the meeting. It’s about Celestia.
In addition, for Celestia to change the meeting like that, it’d be out of character the way I’ve written her. She’s passive-aggressive and mischievous, so for her to be aggressive and change the meeting instead of have a little fun with it would be OOC.
Celestia could fight for the ritual to be toned down, and the meeting could still retain its transparency, but then it’d be exactly like a regular human meeting and it wouldn’t be fun. Why isn’t it okay in a fictional universe to have an exaggeratedly silly meeting? Does a universe with magical talking ponies have to exactly fit to the mold we’ve created in our human world here? Does everything have to be 100% logical, as opposed to 80%, in order to have a little fun? My opinion is that it doesn’t. Ironically, so is Celestia’s, as shown in what she admits in this story.
7281637
I saw exactly what you were doing, Sevens and IMHO, you did it extremely well. The explanation was good as well but just knowing how Celestia is makes the whole scenario that much funnier! The duck was the crowning jewel for all the mischief! Simply wonderful!
7281710 I'm relieved you thought so. -o-; I can't spend an eternity on every story (though it sure seems like I did on this one >.>) so I'm glad to hear the stuff I got right outweighed the stuff I didn't ^^
The humor in this story felt very British.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-0R7TLTXpLNg/UUCa_1bciFI/AAAAAAAAFRM/XDYjIHTGYyw/s1600/loki_ihaveanarmy.gif
WE HAVE LUNA.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111022175045/mlp/images/thumb/7/74/Luna_Eyes_4_S2E4.png/640px-Luna_Eyes_4_S2E4.png
#CommenceCommentsReview
This is a delightful little read, and I enjoyed it immensely.
Not all the jokes work, but there is enough of them to keep it funny throughout, and despite being mostly a comedy short it has some interesting characterizations for Celestia.
That being said, the jokes that do not work do tend to drag on enough to become slightly grating and the whole "immortality is a curse" thing, while barely broached, is still very cliché
Still, this is a good little fic, and kudos to author for that.
(Also here on behalf of CommenceComments).
My overall impression is negative. Describing why humor does or doesn't work is difficult, but I shall try.
Starting with the easiest to explain thing - generally, I tend to either take a story seriously or not. There can be middle ground, like if a story has a surreal element but is otherwise cohesive (such as this), however this one fell squarely under "not seriously". That is not inherently a problem, but it becomes one during the final part of the story, where Celestia speaks of boredom due to her immortality. That part just completely did not work for me. It felt as though it was trying to retroactively excuse the characters actions, but even if you could excuse Celestia's (which I would not), there's still Rarity, who's also acting in a "not serious" way, so... I gotta at least consider the characters to be real persons in order to care about a scene such as this. Plus, the idea is really pretty old.
Then, the primary problem was of course that I didn't find most of the jokes funny. I think it has to do with the nature of humor-- one of the most essential things that a joke has to do in order to work is that it has to surprise me in some way. So the premise is Celestia being bored by bureaucracy, making me expect a number of inappropriate comments and the like. Then, when they come, it's just what I predicted and it mostly bores me. Similar things go for the checkers game. Two of the jokes that did work were 1) the sequence of “Aye.”s in the beginning, because of just how silly and over the top that was, and 2) Celestia's “I assure you I did not. I misplaced my timetable entirely on purpose.” That was clever, and came out of left field.
Something I kept wondering-- is this Merriweather guy a reference to Merriwether Williams, who's one of the show's writers and generally gets a lot of flag for her writing? Or just a coincidence?
(I also noticed a Grammar error, a missing "to" in this sentence: Iron Thighs’ eyes were steadily focused on Celestia, only moving to whisper something his advisor)
Snaptibia sounds like the kind of place that would be less pleasant than just about anything in the world except meetings concerning it.
The immortality angst at the very end was out-of-place enough that it probably shouldn't have been there, but it was fun otherwise.
7306354 I do realize the idea of Celestia struggling with mortality has been done to death (hardy har). I hoped that by making her rattle on for three full paragraphs about it and shrugging it off afterwards, it'd be a tad fresher and more ridiculous than the multitude of stories that explore the idea thoroughly, gradually, and seriously. Plus, I was hoping there were enough hints that Celestia was acting a bit ridiculous in general, but if not, it's something I'll keep in mind next time.
A predictable comedy plot is probably something I can take the blame for, but if only two jokes worked out of the many I put in there... it may be a matter of taste, which is okay.
Merriweather is not a reference to Merriweather Williams. It's a coincidence. I used Merriweather as sort of a placeholder and the name just grew on me after long enough.
Thanks for the grammar catch! Fixed. And thanks for not only giving my story a try, but also telling me why you didn't like it. I really appreciate it :>
Tee-hee. This was fun - I do love the "Equestria is just ever so silly" interpretation of canon.
And here, I was expecting Sunbutt to whip out a deck of playing cards and complain about how War takes forever to play after His Thighness flipped the table.
Sunbutt's not so bad, though, giving Boss a chance to yell at ponies and giving Mr. Fuddy-Duddy a chance to negotiate a treaty.
I'm a bit surprised Rarity turned down a date with a Princess, though.
This is a common kind of math problem. Obviously it just means that he lifts for the whole two hours of rulership as well.
who
(everypony agreed he had the best…ergo, who.)
…it's called a checker.
Don't feed me that manure.
7698878
Thank you for the grammar catch. Fixed.
*horse noises*
I dare say life gives life meaning, and Rarity and Celestia are experiencing that right now.
Now ship themThis line just about ended me.
8194901
Yes but actually more people should ship them.
Delightfully insane. I could've done without Celestia's brief riff on the immortality blues, but overall, this was a most entertaining read. Thank you for it.
Beautiful.
Just... amazing.
god-tier sic man. all the likes and favs
Anyone have 3,000 big ones? Iron Thigh's going to need a dozen Burn Heals.
Love some of the ideas here. Tia just being that damn BORED and wanting to have a little fun, just, wanting everypony to lighten the buck up. And while war might be such a huge deal, and seem like not the thing to joke about, the story does subtly show.. it's really not. That what ponies refer to as 'war' is incredibly tame, and not a tragic lose of life at all. Given one major war was stopped because one pony actually died of hypothermia while they were fighting in winter.
Plus her "We have Luna, it'll be over in a week" was hilarious.
So yeah some really interesting ideas... and the rubber duck was just awesome.
Pretty great story, definitely one I would recommend to others.
I liked a lot of the bureaucratic humor in this fic, and the rare but welcome bonding between Rarity and Tia. However, parts of the story dragged. The whole thing could easily be about 3000 words shorter and be better for it. But maybe that's just me.
I've reviewed your story HERE!