• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 22nd, 2018

An Unimpressive


Ex-EqD pre-reader who doesn't like shipping that much but seems to write a lot of it.

T

Big Macintosh reflects on a day long in the past and a path he lacked the conviction to follow. A heavy price must sometimes be paid for the path one walks.

Featured on Equestria Daily.
Followup story here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 126 )

This was a very well written, touching story. The subject of homosexuality isn't an easy one to handle, as it's a hot-button issue, but this was done with respect and a lot of emotion. That haunting what-if that the story conveys, as well as Big Mac putting aside what he might want for his family, is really excellent.

758185
Thanks. That's a relief to hear; I'm really not accustomed to writing ponyfics that take themselves so seriously.

No twists or such, just a straight :pinkiecrazy:forward little piece.

I think there was one or two errors near the start, but I can't remember them and the story was too engaging to care.
If I can say anything, it's that the characters don't feel like themselves...
this isn't a bad thing, let me explain -
They don't feel like themselves. Rather, they feel like the pieces set to one of the truly ancient stories, and do a fair reenactment of it.

One or two bits the imagery were off. Caramel kisses Big Mac while at the same time standing directly behind him? Could've done with some bit of wording to delineate (Is that even a real word? I use it like it is...) Caramel stepping up, the physical brush of lips, the heat of breath, those kinds of things. Otherwise the implications are unfortunate...or fortunante, depending on outlook :rainbowwild: especially consdiering this is you we're talking about.

In my own opinion, which is entirely unwarranted, you played the Granny Smith Rigid and Intolerant Elder card a bit too soon - it'd have been nice to get a bit more of the dialogue of bewilderment before she storms in.

All in all though, the concrit is facetious (I'm confident that this is a word, though what it means I'm vague on) on my part - it's a solid and self contained short story, and I was not dissapointed.

Yay for Vimbert, whom has left me unimpressed, but in a satisfied manner.

Submit this to Equestria Daily right this instant.

758231
I have no eye for spatial relationships of things or people, and it only gets worse when I write. Thanks: I'll try to fix that bit so I'm not implying what I apparently implied. :facehoof:

Thanks for the kind words, though.

758300

Eh, there's ways to play that well, even make it work for you. Big Mac does kinda make one wonder though, don't he? :eeyup:

I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was very well written. I've read too many poorly written fics lately... It's a relief to see this. Thank you.

I like this story, because for me it highlights something I dislike, and that's a family who raises their children to be straight. A family who teaches their kids that a man and a woman is the only real kind of love. Because it's not like teaching your kid a specific religion, or a certain set of values, or even something as evil as racism. You can teach your kid to hate themselves, or teach their kids to hate themselves. I don't get angry very often. Almost never, in fact. But the sight of a seven year old in a GOD HATES FAGS t-shirt will always do it for me. Sorry if this is a little off what your story is going for, Vimbert. It certainly displayed the writing prowess that I've come to adore from you, even with such a mundane and lifelike set of events.

759253
B, no need to be apologetic. I know the feel.

Pretty good, enjoyable read. Not bad at all.

I like reading a sad story like this every once in a while.

Reminds me of how good my life really is. Especially in matters of sexuality.

758257
And done. Now to wait for my eventual rejection!

Nice job on the feature slot good work:pinkiehappy:

And if it passes muster with the prereaders, the inevitable cascade of downvotes from those who can't bear even the thought of coltcuddling. (Rather a lot of them, I suspect, are perfectly okay with hot mare-on-mare action, but stallions? Not a chance.) I persist in my belief that love is not a matter of plumbing.

760746

Oh sure it is a matter of plumbing, at least for plumbers looking to date someone in their own trade.

I very much enjoyed the story, although i never really saw Granny smith to be this kind of pony.

This was fuckin' gay. I mean that in the best way possible! :pinkiehappy: excellently written, and an interesting take on Mac. Most people portray Mac as ponyville's most wanted stallion, the master of masculinity and the silent rock of the Apple family. Showing him having vulnerability, and the respect he felt obligated to have for his family tradition outweighing what he could have been, what he could have wanted in this, his moment of painful reflection was a fresh take on an aging premise (Mac being gay).
I submit to you sir, that you should drop the Un from your pen name.

I'm glad this was featured, and i hope you get accepted. I'm not sure if its just the mare to stallion ratio on the show that results in the lack of colt/colt stories, but I'm glad someone final manged to make a good on. (granted I'm not a connoisseur haha)

This isn't even a story about Colt-Cuddling, which would make it even more disappointing to see it get star-bombed. It's a story about indoctrination and oppression. It's about being Wrong.

It's about how the popular opinion of what is acceptable changes the lives of those who challenge that assertion. Considering that we, as bronies, basically deal with this same issue (albeit on a much smaller scale) it's a damn shame that EQD still houses such an anti-M/M bias. F/F is porn, but M/M is gay, and that's wrong.

This is an excellent piece. It's short and it's simple because that's all it needs to be. Well done, Vim.

I looked at this and expected a simple story that would just phase me like a child's book would hu instead I got a well written wonder in front of me and I'm near tears. You have touched me in a way no other story could touch me and I enjoyed every second I it. Good job and I hope to see more very well written pieces of work.

760337
Someone's a little optimistic xD

Amazing. No other word for it.

Poignant & sweetly sad. My heart ached for these two lost souls who never even got a chance to explore the possibility of love. Thank you for a well-written story.

So good. If only this story wasn't so very short :pinkiesad2:

760883 I know. I was surprised at how she reacted.

Yet another story that makes one wonder just how "wholesome" wholesome family and societal values really are. Though I personally don't care for this variation of Big Mac, I'm willing to open my mind to new perspectives, and you brought up an all-too-real issue in our world. Well-written, tinged with regret and uncertainty, and perhaps a little reflective (or wholly reflective, I don't know). A nice little story, Vim. Well done:twilightsmile:

Wow, that was not at all - direct pun intended - unimpressive.

Great work.

Well-written, short, sad. That's really all there is to say.

I like to imagine these ways of thinking don't exist in Equestria, but violation of headcanon aside, it was a very good story.

762435
Violating headcanon
(It's an easy feat)
And fanfic makes it all complete!

762567
Indeed. It's just a reflection of the double standard in most of society, though.

The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy has this to say on the subject of drinking, but I believe it also applies well to the subject of sexual preference: "Go to it, and good luck." Another good piece of advice: "Remember your towel." :derpyderp2:

Good Story.

Go to him, Mac! Wrap your fore-legs around him and never let go.
:pinkiesad2:

I'm not sure how to feel. Beautifully written, to be sure. Believable? To the extent such a story as this can be believed. Your writing is great, and I really like the overall tone and style, but i just can't bring myself to hit that favorite button. A thumb up, undoubtedly, but this particular story just doesn't sit right with me. No offense at all, just saying what I feel.

763218
What about it sits poorly with you? I'm curious. If you don't feel comfortable saying what it is in comments, please PM me. I live for negative feedback that I can apply.

Should be tagged "sad."

BAWWWWWWLLLLL
:fluttercry:

763251
I didn't tag it as Sad when I sent it into EqD, and since it's going to get posted, I removed the [Sad] tag here.

Sorry for your feels.

OH WAIT I'M NOT :trollestia:

Very good. Short and sweet.

Not sad, but rather as someone else as has already so eloquently put it, wistful.

Nice work.

Honestly, one of the best one-shots I've ever read. You have raised all my standards.

You just write so well that I can't resist favoriting this amazing story. Keep being impressive.
-SoI

that was (takes off shades) impressingly unimpressive. get it cause his user name is Vimbert the Unimpressive :rainbowlaugh:

That was really great. :rainbowkiss: I never would've thought of Granny to act that way, but I could totally imagine it happening. Poor Mac... :fluttercry:

762586 Well, that double standard probably has its roots in this series' fringe demographic (not so fringy anymore...) being largely male. Or, more crudely put, Girl On Girl Is Hot, while Guy On Guy Is Ew. Sad, but there you are. :pinkiesad2:

On the story itself: I actually liked it, and I'm not usually into the colt-on-colt stuff. But this wasn't really about that - more about a love denied by the pressures of society. It's nice from time to time to read something like this and remind yourself that not every story ends happily, and not every cloud has a silver lining. (Which to me is not the same as NO clouds having silver linings, which tends to summarize a lot of "Dark" stories, unfortunately.)

What the hell is this? Legitimately well-written and thought-provoking fanfiction in the featured box?

Here's a story that, perhaps counterintuitively, I find to be very much in the spirit of the show. Not in content, of course, but in message. Inequality between genders is undeniable, and in almost every facet of life the beneficiaries of gender bias are males.

Sexuality is a very notable exception to this rule. And the MLP fanfiction community has, more frequently than I am comfortable with, proven itself to be just as guilty of this particular bias against men with a sexuality outside the extremely restrictive norm as the rest of society. Whether it was your intention or not, I hope stories like these can help to spark a change at least within our own little community.

I gave a thumbs up before I had fully read it. Hmm, not bad though, just the thought of tough as nails Mac being a colt-cuddler makes me uncomfortable.

I am not a fan of any sort of homosexual shipping (ironically, I tend to read a lot of them) but this one was really good! It didn't go for the physical aspect we see a lot of amateur writers focus on, but we got a fantastic feeling of emotion that touched our hearts. Great piece!

:fluttercry:
I really wish I could read this story..

After briefly browsing the comments, I realized that reading this story probably won't end well for me at the moment, in any conceivable meaning of the word "Well."
Still favourited, liked, and watching this unimpressive new author :rainbowwild:
I'll read it some day, eventually.

764870
How so?
You'd be amazed at how tough-as-nails a lot of the LGBTIQQ community is. :twilightsmile: (At least around here [Here being my town/country/place/thing.])
Most of us have dealt with a lot of bullcrap, and those of us that haven't are usually fully expecting, and prepared, to deal with a lot of bullcrap sometime in the near future. I'm actually tougher than a lot of straight guys I know :trollestia:

764344
Damnit, why am I still replying?!
Anyhow, I've not seen much of the bias you seem to speak of.
"And the MLP fanfiction community has, more frequently than I am comfortable with, proven itself to be just as guilty of this particular bias against men with a sexuality outside the extremely restrictive norm as the rest of society." The only bias I have noticed is the blind dislikes against M/M stories, and most people expect to see lots of dislikes on a M/M fic. In my experience, MLP:FiM generally is a very tolerant community, and I'm fairly sure many LGBT bronies/pegasisters can deal with a few dislikes on a fanfic, compared to the actual grief and personal attacks they'd likely encounter elsewhere (Of course depending where, as well as a variety of other factors, but I digress.)

very literate, i'll give you that, not many have that gift.good job, especially with the setting. mustache for you.:moustache:

Here's something maybe nobody else has said yet: Big Mac is spot on, here. Great character work.

Not really my kind of subject, but the content and prose were nonetheless fantastic. The reader finds himself wishing merely for Mac to be happy. That is the story's biggest strength.

Kudos.

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