• Member Since 6th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 28th, 2023

An Unimpressive

How did you find your way here? Nobody here but us ghosts.


In a world where she sees from a distorted perspective, all Twilight Sparkle can do is cling to the one pony she knows will never let her down: her teacher, the princess... no matter which princess her addled brain tells her that is. Twilight's used to rewriting letters, but when she's the one being rewritten, she finds the sensation to be altogether different.

Many thanks must go to my awesome editors, Varanus, Ebon Mane, shortskirtsandexplosions, Seattle_Lite, and Nick Nack.

Featured on Equestria Daily and The Pony Fiction Vault.
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Chapters (4)
Comments ( 449 )

This looks interesting

The gibbering rants of a madman allowed near a keyboard after more than enough evidence has accumulated that he shouldn't be allowed near it.


Well in that case, it was better than expected. I thought it would be...

Third time, wait for it anyways...



You make it too easy.

I'm not one that usually impresses.


Oh come on, that's not even fair. You're trying too hard.

Whelp. I know what I'm writing next. I'm enjoying the hell out of this.

Good, good... let the sort-of Twilestia flow through you.

dat surrealism

Though wouldn't Twilight be smart enough to create a last resort self-sabotaging measure? Like how Celestia suggested the Failsafe in Daylight Burning, Lilpip wiping her own memory, spies and cyanide pills, etc.

But then again, that might be more "insane" than "smart".

Wow, liking it so far. Very original.

Nightmare Moon is best ruler of Equestria! Poor Twilight though, getting her head all scrambled like that.

Oh no! Another one of those stories where you have to reread at least the last chapter every time a new one comes out.
And I won't even be able to resent you for it, because this is awesome! :rainbowdetermined2:

Stop reading my future chapter outlines... Er... AHEM.

Interesting. The forced alterations to her memories have made her loyal to nightmare, but the residual memories seem to be tearing her apart. If ponies she had only know for less than a day were able to break through the illusion placed on twilight's mind I wonder what it would take to shatter it completely.

Indeed. Also, Nightmare Moon only had about a minute to work her magic on Twilight, so if she gets more time to strengthen it...

Oh this looks fantastically messed up. Will read soon.

DPV, if you read my story Distorted Perspective, it's that except serious, with Twilight getting the business end of a mind rape.

As ever, I look forward to your thoughts.

i will track this :twilightsmile: looks very interesting

Reference to Ben Drowned? Check.
Battle in the centre of the mind? Check.

Vimbert, you've outlived your current title! I'm impressed!

Oh my, yes. I like this very much. Tracking. Fingers crossed.


So that means that Nightmare Twilight is going to have a contingency plan in case Celestia "brainwashes" her?

That can't end well. Especially with the whole Distorted Perspective tie-in.

Yep, Favoriting this one.

damit one chapter and I already have to revise my list of the best stories I've ever read


...:pinkiecrazy: *twitch* ...
that was ...awsome...

...Yeah. Twilight's in for a load of mindfuck.

okay, normally when i see the romance tag, i run away as fast as i can from a story.
but this sounds way too full of mindfuckery for me to resist.
time to reeeeaaaaaad!

EDIT: i finished reading and... i.... i'm not sure if... well... uhh........................ :pinkiecrazy:

I need to read more of this. Like, right now, please? :raritystarry:

Never turn to the dark side, even if everything directs you towards it. Very good story so far, please keep this up!

P.S Haha, the confusion has been doubled! :twilightoops:

Your name is bullshit. I'm impressed.

Oh my. Featured.

Thanks to all who read and enjoyed! If anyone isn't liking this, I love negative feedback too, so please feel free.

If the romance aspect turns you off, this isn't going to have anything particularly explicit in it, but it will be exploring more in-depth Twilight's feelings towards Celestia (whether those be platonic or not, and in her current state, who the hell is she to know?); I myself actually dislike most shipping/romance stories, but the relationship between Twilight and Celestia has fascinated me ever since Varanus' story Composure showed me that not only does the pairing make sense, it has a ripe potential for conflict as well.

Anyway, I hope you found something to like. If not, oh well... can't win them all.

Ahaha. Sorry, but I write pretty slowly. I'll be lucky if I can put out a chapter a month.

You flatter me.


This is really good. Like, really, really good. You've earned a like. I'll be watching this one.

Nightmare Moon wanted a friend and she finally got one even if she had to use mind rape to get her.
big question ...
IF Luna survives will Twilight still want to be her friend? Is there enough left of Twilight to be Anyones friend?

Cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When's the second chapter?

I plan to address that in a later chapter.

"Whenever it's done" has always been my writing schedule; I find that trying to stick to deadlines, particularly in something like fanfiction, only results in an inferior end product, since I can't take my time in revision.


Amen to that.

I can only add to the chorus, this is a wonderfully disturbing tale and very different to everything else I've read up to now. Looking forward to future updates.

Amazing story! I usually see Twilight healing Luna not the other way around (i hope :heart: )
i love the idea that not even re-writing Twilights memories completely took away her loyalty/love for Celestia. :twilightsmile:

It's not so much that it was taken away, it's more like if Twilight's memories were a Word document, Nightmare Moon did a Find/Replace and replaced "Princess Celestia" with "Nightmare Moon."

I definitely need more of this story.
Once again, your very name lies to me.

Well that was delightfully creepy. Good job, ser.

Well then, you get the usual treatment.

The Good!
This story. I have enjoyed the imagery immensely, from the descriptions of Twilight's mind to her ongoing inner torments. It makes me feel the conflict, and really appreciate the memory rewriting that was going on. Most importantly, I really felt like a sinister hand (or hoof) was at play here. That there was a lurking fear waiting behind everything. Just waiting for its moment to corrupt poor Twilight.

Oh yeah, and no errors that I could find.

The Not-so-good
I'm going to have to say the beginning of the story was the weakest part. It felt rather slow, though it did give the easy image of the second pilot episode. There was also the portrayal of Nightmare Moon, which for some reason always bugs me in stories like this when she has the upper hoof. Maybe it's because of her lack of characterization and certain stories that make me shake my head at the way she acts when she gets ahead of the game. I don't know, I think I'm just picky over how Nightmare Moon acts. Hope that makes sense.

The What?
Have you written the perfect figurative and literal sense of the term Mind Rape? I believe you have. This makes it very disturbing.

My final note is that despite the memory rewriting and Twilight's inner conflict, unlike many dark fics I still get that feeling of hope. Now some folks like completely depressing themes in their dark fics, but I'm not one of them. I've always believed that there should at least be a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint. Twilight's inner war shows this perfectly, that she hasn't been completely taken over. If she has, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed this as much as I did. That glimmer of hope is what ponies and people hold on to with the thought "as long as this is here, things will be ok." It leads to earning their happy ending... or can be delightful to crush at the very end and truly bring everyone involved, readers and characters alike, into despair.

*cough* Now that's over with, looking forward to more!

Haha, I don't mean to try and rush you, it's just that I think this story is extremely interesting and when I get wrapped into a story and find out I have to wait for more, this is what I'm like: :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttercry::flutterrage::flutterrage:
That's why I read all 30+ chapters of Anthropology in less than a day when I found out it existed :twilightsmile:

The beginning did give me a hell of a lot of trouble, but I'm glad you could feel the hope there. As for what I do with it, well... you'll see. :pinkiecrazy:

This is relevant to my interests.

Her sunken, dull, half-dead eyes regarded me with pity. “My name, Twilight Sparkle, is Luna. You've suffered a terrible fate, haven't you?”


>I feel to the ground and writhed, feeling that traitorous part of me that was so willing to ignore everything my Mistress had done for me in favor of such a ridiculous idea burning like a terrible, terrible disease in my mind.
>I feel to the ground
Small typo I found.

As for the story, it's decently interesting. Certainly, it works for what it is, but I will say that some of the confusion in Twilight's mind overpowers basic things like your setting. The part after her mind was rewritten, I honestly had no idea that it was happening in the same place. For all we knew, NMM took her somewhere more stable and did it. So, a bit better world building would be appreciated. Additionally, it seems like you really overplayed Twilight's confusion, like you were afraid that we wouldn't get it.

Overall, it was good. I enjoyed it, and you do seem to have a knack for these twisted stories.

"You've suffered a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Oh boy :rainbowlaugh:

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