I offered no resistance as the guards dragged me from Her presence. My sight, shocked by Her outburst, lazily drifted downward, coming to rest on my back two legs as the guards dragged me to my fate.
Drag. Scrape. Drag drag scrape.
What did anything matter anymore? I had failed Her somehow. If She did not want me around, my life had no meaning, no value, no purpose. Everything I did, every breath I took, was solely for Her benefit. If She saw no more use for me, was there a point in continuing on?
My life had not truly begun until She had raised the sun before me, inspiring me to study magic. I had spent the rest of my youth chasing the sun—chasing a dream that on some level I knew to be impossible—but like any optimistic foal, I thought I had to try.
When She took me under Her wing—even given me my cutie mark when I submitted to Her power silencing my own wild torrent of raw magical ability—I had wanted nothing more. Nothing more but to be at Her side, learning whatever I could from Her. If I couldn't reach the sun, I could at least bask in its life-giving, all-powerful glory, a plant straining for sustenance.
Drag. Scrape. Drag scrape.
Even now, I only wanted to help. Nopony was as important as Her—particularly a lowly servant like me.
Drag. Scrape. Drag.
My body went limp, causing the guards’ movement to stutter for a moment as I became entirely dead weight. Even my ears felt unwilling to hold themselves up; if it were possible for a healthy horn to sag in lack of excitement, mine would have. Ignoring their muttered curses, I considered my position. She thought nothing of me now. Sure, had I wanted to, I could have shoved away the guards in a burst of magic and ran to Her, begged for Her forgiveness, and maybe prevail upon Her infinite mercy to spare me...
Drag. Scrape.
But that wasn't what She wanted.
Foolish. Pathetic.
Their steps quickened. Drag. Scrape. Drag drag scrape.
Stupid. Pitiful.
Scrape.
Worthless. Wasteful.
Their steps stopped, and I was heaved unceremoniously onto a hard stone floor. The air rushed out of me as my stomach slammed onto it and I rolled into the wall, eliciting a fresh flare of pain from my already justly abused spine.
My eyes remained glued to the floor, studying the lines of the tile and their accumulated grime with empathy. There was no point in moving if She wished me to remain here. Instead, I would simply remain, collecting moss and dirt, as She wished me to.
The guards popped a tray of food in. The unappetizing aroma of a daisy sandwich left out in the heat too long filled my nostrils. “Eat it,” the guard said.
My head remained on the ground. What good was there in eating? I'd failed everyone. Just when I thought I had had a chance at redemption for giving my very self so freely to Nightmare Moon as I had, Princess Celestia had discarded me for being a failure.
One of the guards scoffed. “Suit yourself.” I heard their twin quartets of steps fade into the distance.
As I laid there, focusing on nothing but Her, as was fitting and proper, I heard echos of the two guards chattering.
“Imagine. The regent being a traitor.” Desperately, I wished to meld into the stones—letting ponies walk all over me sounded better than my current position. Was I still too full of myself to help Princess Celestia to the best of my meager ability? “I saw that one back when she was a filly. It’s really a shame, trying to ruin all of Equestria like that. She used to be such a nice little foal, all smiles for us guards...”
A snort from his comrade. “I always knew there were something off about that filly.”
“So, have you heard anything from the Cloudsdale squads?”
The guard nickered in a short, irritated burst. “Oh, the rebellion’s still giving us trouble there. Those ponies don’t know when to quit. That one pretending to be a Wonderbolt among them. Dunno why she’d want to do that when they all joined the Shadowbolts, but anypony crazy enough to try to rebel against the crown’s gotta have a few screws loose anyway, I figure.”
“At least the other rebel-held territories are falling easily enough.”
“Yeah.”
All was silent: apparently, that was all they had to say.
As I studied the floor, I pondered what I'd just heard. A pony pretending to be a Wonderbolt? Rebellion running rampant in Equestria? I deflated a bit more; such things were beyond my ken. All I could do was to return to Her side. If I begged for her mercy, showed Her the depths of my devotion, then perhaps She would show me mercy.
I had to believe that. I had to. I touched a trembling hoof to my necklace, which glowed with a soothing light, reassuring me of my faith in Her.
Mistress. Mistress.
That word, that perfect, absolute representation of Her—boomed in my head. The sound of my own voice, my own subordinate name, seemed muted, tinier somehow. It was fitting, really: i was of no significance next to Her, so what right did i have to equate myself with Her in my own mind? Such selfishness could not be allowed if i were to regain Her good graces.
Days, weeks—for all i knew, even months—passed, and i rarely ate or drank; though the sun refused to rise, the constant glow of the symbol of my link to my Mistress kept my conviction strong and my love ever growing. The endless night grew colder and colder, and my breath came out in misting puffs. Every now and then—it was difficult to tell time with the moon always hanging in the sky—the guards would come in and force me to take in nourishment, over my protests, which were halfhearted at best. If She was forcing me to eat, then She still cared about me! Even if it was just making sure i didn't die, She still cared!
This elation quickly wore off, however, as the guards forcing food and water down my throat became a chore rather than a joyous occasion. About a week after they'd started forcing me to eat at least once per day, one of the guards asked, “Why aren't you eating anything, you stupid mare?”
i turned to him, meeting his golden eyes with my own, no-doubt-sunken gaze. “Because She did not tell me to,” i told him, explaining the obvious truth. Clearly, She was just holding me here until She thought of further ways i could serve Her.
Why, if i squinted long enough, this cell became an elegant chamber high in one of the castle's towers, and the guards my concerned coltservants. Yes, i was an important pony: i was Her faithful student, after all! Even if i had fallen from Her favor, i was still Her most loyal of servants. The posh place was perhaps beyond my station, but a mare took what luxury she could get. It wasn’t like i deserved to be punished because i was a filthy failure who was not worthy to lick Her hooves but i still wanted to if it would earn me forgiveness and i i i i would do anything and—
The guard chuckled, his silky butler outfit clinking as his whole body shook. “Wow, the stories were true.”
i chose not to dignify that with a response. The guar—servants continued force-fee—offering me only the finest of half-rot—gourmet daisy sandwiches, divine enough to even grace Her lips. Ah, how She spoiled such a pitiful pony who disappointed Her and then was thrown in the dungeons and forgotten about like a naughty naughty filly who must be punished failure failure and it was all what i deserved and then i'd die alone and She would remember me after i was gone oh yes She would remember what a good and faithful servant i had been and a good student besides and I had only wanted what was best for Her Her Her Her Her i only wanted Her Her Her Her Her why did She leave me alone i didn't have anypony else and the darkness is pushing in and i'm so cold and lonely in this world because ponies aren't as easy as books but She was different and She was like a book that never ended that i'd read long after i'd memorized even though i'd never finish it no pony could know another completely, particularly not Her and won't She just come and give me a hug and i just want to be loved and She She She—
“Ugh! In Nightmare's name, just shut up!” a guard roared, slapping me on the muzzle, sending a few drops of blood splattering onto the floor. Reality came swimming back—cold, harsh reality, and tears swam to my eyes.
“i... i'm sorry.”
“Aw, look, you made the Princess' pet cry,” a different guard remarked. This triggered a round of chuckles from his comrades, even as they tried to force food down my unworthy throat.
Pet. Pet? Was that what She wanted of me?
“Great, now she's rambling again,” the first guard muttered. “Let's hurry up and finish.”
Moments later, they finished forcing me to eat and left, leaving me to my musing.
Pet? Was that how everypony saw me? How She saw me? Unbidden, one of my hooves brushed the choker i wore; a shudder ran through my body as my hoof caressed its smooth finish. Maybe i was a pet. A loyal pet at her Mistress' beck and call, ready to do Her bidding at the merest gesture. Still, when Her wishes were “stay out of my sight,” what was a loyal pet to do?
“Sit, pet! Stay!” The guards howled with laughter as they left.
i lowered myself back down to the floor, back into the comfortable position i spent most of my time waiting for Her to save me from what She had done. Why act on my own? All i had to do was to follow what She wished because She knew far better than a lowly pony such as i what was best.
What did She wish? All i wanted was to be with Her. “Tell me what to do, Princess Celestia,” i whispered to the floor, hoping against reason for someone, something, to tell me what to do. “If i'm... if being your... p-pet is what you want from me, then that's what i'll do. Just tell me how to live my life. Tell me what i should study next, what i should do next.” An idle hoof traced the contours of a tile not worn to nothingness. “Doing what You told me to is always what i've done best. i see that now. i was not worthy to act on my own. i presumed too much when i forgave my brother.”
i curled into a ball. “i'm a waste of a pony. i'm not worthy to serve. i'm not worthy to kiss Her hooves.”
If i wasn't good for that, what was i good for? i'd failed Her. Right when She had needed me the most, i had let Her down. All i could do was wait until She decided to forgive me. That was Her wish, and Her wishes were all that mattered.
Following orders felt good. Following orders felt right. i could do no good on my own, but as a trusty tool wielded by Her under Her close orders, i could do great things. And if i labored for Her, that was all i needed. What were my own needs before Her concerns? i was just one pony; She was the world. The soothing light from my lunar necklace intensified, as though encouraging my wise and correct reasoning. My body, in its weakness, grew weary from the night's devotions.
My eyelids closed, and i drifted into a sleep as empty as my own ambitions.
A huge crash sounded, rousing me from my slumber. Panicked shouts echoed from down the hallway. i remained limp on the floor. These things did not concern me; She was probably not here, so i had no reason to take interest.
After a few minutes, the noise died, and the subtle swishing of air near me told me that I had been visited by a pegasus. This, too, did not matter. Unless... i glanced up, hoping against hope that She had changed Her perfect will and released me from Her dungeons in a truly dramatic fashion, as She was wont to do.
Instead, a pony in a Wonderbolt costume stared at me from behind her goggles; her mouth was set in grim determination. There was no horn on her rainbow-maned head, so I sat my own back down, waiting for Her, new orders, or death.
“Sheesh, Twilight, most ponies are a little more grateful when they're rescued!” the Wonderbolt said in a familiar voice brimming with confidence.
i snorted. “Rescue me from what? My own failure?”
She touched down, her padded hooves barely audible in the silence of the unending night of the prisons. “Oh, come on! This is no time for moping around! Equestria needs you! Princess Celestia needs you!”
In an instant, i teleported outside the bars in a flash of magic. “What? She needs me? Did She send you here? What's wrong? What can i do?”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “And here I thought I was gonna have to drag you. Seriously, though—you are loyal to Princess Celestia, right?”
i nodded. “i feel horrible about what happened before... Princess Celestia changed the magic on this so i'm loyal to Her now.” i brushed my lunar necklace, blushing as i noticed a flicker of confusion behind Dash's goggles. My terms of respect had become even more pronounced in my speech, it seemed.
“Wait, so you mean you've got a way to get in touch with her?!” She leaned in, her eyes sparkling with a hope beyond hope.
After a pause of confusion spent leaning back from that intense gaze, i nodded. Of course i could speak to Her.
Rainbow Dash cheered. “Awesome! And don't worry about before. I knew that couldn't have been you. It was just all that weird hocus pocus on that necklace. I mean, we're friends, right?” She beckoned for me to follow and walked off towards what appeared to be a blank wall.
“Friends...” i murmured, feeling a swell of emotion not unlike that which i felt for my Mistress within me. So long as She came first, friends wouldn't hurt. Friends could even be nice.
“Come on, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash yelled, waving a costumed hoof.
i left the scene of my misery behind, feeling my spirits improving with each step. She would surely be pleased if i could show Her at least one pony survived my mistakes, even though i didn't know how she had gotten her hooves on a Wonderbolts costume. Never once did it cross my mind that Dash was the traitor the guards had spoken of; she was far too loyal of a friend to do that.
Right?
“So...” we both said at once as we walked down a secret passage Dash had opened.
“You first,” i said, noting with something akin to pride how instinctual letting others have their way was getting; if She wanted me to be a pet, i'd make myself the ideal of one.
“So, Twilight... doesn't it bother you that you're still under that magic mumbo-jumbo? I mean, I know you probably know about that stuff yourself, but it's messing with your head, even if it is for Princess Celestia. Doesn't that bother you?” She kept her eyes forward, focusing on picking us a path through the occasional bit of rubble as we moved forward in darkness.
A dreamy sigh escaped my throat. “No, not in the least. i mean, i'm sure it won't be able to last forever, but it's not scary at all. It's like a dream... a wonderful dream i never want to wake up from. i feel so close to Her, Rainbow Dash. It's sort of like when i was just a filly, reading a new book, and She would drape a soft, warm wing over me as a blanket when i'd fall asleep. It feels... safe. Comfortable. Right.”
Rainbow Dash stopped, and i ran right into her rear.
i spat out a mouthful of tail. It tasted of sweat and dirt; when was the last time she had bathed? Then again, i was hardly the picture of hygiene myself after my long stay in my cell. “Ow!”
She looked back at me, her bemused expression barely readable thanks to the lack of light and her costume. “Uh, really? Sounds more like a nightmare to me. Weirdo.”
She felt her disapproving glance had sunk in after a few moments, so we kept moving up the ruined staircase. Curiosity wouldn’t leave my mind, so i asked, “Where in Equestria did you manage to get a Wonderbolts costume? Did they let you in since this night fell?”
The costumed pony in front of me snorted in derision. “Pfft, like I'd even want them to let me in now. No, this was something I had Rarity make me a long time ago, just in case they never...” She shook her head, sending her wild mane flying to and fro. “I mean... in case I wanted to practice some stunts with the uniform on before I tried out for them. Flying with the costume on changes a lot about how aerodynamic a pegasus is, y'know?”
“Oh, then Rarity's okay? Thank goodness!”
Rainbow Dash stopped again, and this time i was able to halt before i got a mouthful of tail.
“Rainbow Dash?”
“We should keep moving,” she said, her voice echoing with a dull finality.
“Wait!” i cried, grabbing her tail with magic. “Rarity... what happened to Rarity?”
“There’s no time for that, Twilight.” She strained ahead, her whole form taut with impatience. “We gotta... keep... moving!” She collapsed, panting after failing to break my hold. She looked back at me and added, “I didn’t bust us out of that tartar-sauce-whatever place so we could stand around and chat.”
“i’m not letting go until you tell me!”
“She’s dead, okay?!” she spat at my shocked form. “Rarity’s dead. There, you happy? Now let’s go already!”
My breath caught in my throat. Because of me, she had...? “Still, you... you don't know that! She might have gotten away after you all did!” Without realizing it, i had rushed forward and was shaking her. There was no way it was my fault. It could not be my fault. Of course it was my fault.
“They executed her weeks ago, Twilight. Beheaded her right in the middle of Canterlot.”
i slumped down to the cracked stairs. “It's all my fault... i had to charge ahead, convinced i could stop Nightmare Moon on my own. If only i'd... if only i'd... what a worthless pony i am.” i curled into a ball, determined to hide from the world in this passage nopony knew about. “Just leave me be, Rainbow Dash. i'm no good to anypony anymore.”
She hauled me to my hooves with a groan. “Twilight, I know how you feel. Rarity won't be coming back. But now you can make up for all that! Help me get to Princess Celestia and this can be all better.”
i sniffed and blinked back tears. “You... you forgive me?”
Hesitantly at first, but then with great force, she flung her forehooves around me in a hug. “Of course, Twilight. Of course I do. It wasn't your fault.”
After i stood in silence, unsure of what to say, Rainbow Dash ended the hug.
“W-well, right. Enough sappy stuff. Come on! We'll be on the main floor in no time, and then you can take the lead.”
The thought of taking the lead bothered me. What right did a pet have to lead? Still, if it helped to serve Rainbow Dash, and thus Her, I supposed it would be fine. “Okay.”
In moments, we reached the end of the passageway, and Rainbow Dash stuck her not-at-all inconspicuous head out and glanced about. “Okay. We're clear. You're up, Twilight!” she whispered to me.
i rolled my eyes and took the lead. Rainbow Dash had not struck me as a scaredypony. A hissed intake of breath and hurried steps followed me as i walked nonchalantly out into the open of the hallway, the plush carpeting strange under my hooves after weeks upon weeks of stone. Torches flicked and sputtered above me, providing a bit of light and heat in the dark void Equestria had become.
“Twilight, what are you doing?! They'll spot you!” Rainbow Dash hissed from the shadows.
“What, and that's a problem?” i smirked and pointed to my necklace. Judging from her still-flattened ears and tilted head, she didn't understand, so a demonstration was in order. In a few moments, one of the new bat-winged guards rounded the corner.
Rainbow Dash, as inconspicuously as she could, flapped up to the ceiling and clung to a rafter, clearly praying the guard wouldn’t look up.
“Good evening,” i said.
“Oh, looks like the Princess' pet got free of her cage!” His patronizing grin spread wide over his face, he chuckled. “Well, just don't cause any problems, alright, pet?” He tousled my mane a bit, as though I were a foal, and continued on his patrol, still snickering.
We paused, waiting for the guard to get out of earshot. Rainbow Dash dropped down from a rafter and whispered, “So they think you're still—nice. I didn't think you were so cunning, Twilight.”
“Oh, it's nothing,” i said honestly.
We continued on. Dash's quiet admiration only grew as we strolled past more guards on our way to the throne room. She seemed disquieted by the general direction we were going, but said nothing, instead keeping her thoughts to herself—or perhaps murmuring them to the bits of ceiling rafters she kept hiding atop when we came across a guard.
In moments, we stood before the grand doors to the throne room, beyond which my Mistress waited, i was sure.
Rainbow Dash shifted uncomfortably. “Are... you sure about this, Twilight?” she asked as i raised a hoof to the grand door, which was notably devoid of guards. In response to a quirked eyebrow from me, she added, “I'm just saying, I trust you and all, but...”
“Don't worry, Rainbow Dash. It'll be okay.” With that, i threw open the doors, mentally bracing for any rebuke She had prepared in light of my impertinent escape. My eyes slammed shut, not wanting to see Her perfect visage angry at me.
Behind me, i heard Rainbow Dash shout, “What the hay, Twilight, that's—”
“That’s... Seize her!” She thundered, sounding like a flight of avenging pegasi bent on destruction, throwing themselves headlong against a raging storm, their minds set on protecting Equestria.
Just as i opened my eyes, hooves shoved me aside as dozens of guards descended on Rainbow Dash, who fought with a ferocity i wouldn't have thought possible of a pony, sending guard after guard flying with her hooves striking this way and that, in a carefully choreographed dance of death. But this was all so strange... she had wanted to speak with the Princess, so why did she need to be subdued? Why the fighting?
With a satisfied smirk on her face, She lounged on Her throne, watching Her guards bring the costumed wonder under control. The pony in question was hurling insults and wordless, atonal howls of rage in my direction, but i scarcely heard them. i only had eyes for Her.
She turned, noticing my confused stare, and cooed. “Ah, I see you found your way out of your cage. No matter: you did bring me the leader of the Cloudsdale resistance, so consider your little indiscretion... forgiven.”
My heart skipped a beat, and my mind brimmed with questions, but i dared not speak further. Who was i to question Her? i simply prostrated myself before Her, not daring to look on Her glorious countenance further.
The hall quieted, save for a quartet of light, yet purposeful, hoofsteps. i felt a tremendous presence above me, and i snuck a hesitant gaze upward to see Her directly above me; my face caught aflame as my eyes traveled back down, ashamed at my act of insolence. A brief tingling spread through my mind, then i felt, rather than saw, a widening grin from Her.
“Well, then... it seems my pet knows its place.”
i gasped. Was that truly what She wanted of me? “Y-yes,” i stammered. “i'll... i'll...”
“Let me just fill in the blanks for you, shall I? This pony—this traitor to my reign—came to kidnap you as a hostage after breaking into the palace. You didn't want to help her, of course, but you had no choice but to go with her.”
My necklace glowed brightly, and I could see the corona around Her horn coinciding with it. i thought back; yes... that was just what had happened. “Yes,” i whispered, fighting the urge to vomit as my vision swam and discolored.
“What was that... pet?” Her horn shot sparks into my own, jolting me.
“Yes, Mistress,” i answered tonelessly, without hesitation, without thought.
“That's better.” Her laughter, like the tinkling of bells on a fall day just before a body was lowered into the ground, sounding above me. So enchanting. So soothing. So... everything. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. “Now then, she forced you to tell her everything about what I had had you do, which you did, out of fear of your own life because she threatened you.”
The glow intensified: yes. That was correct. i nodded dully, my slack jaw shaking.
“And then, you thought to trick her—to bring her straight to me, to deliver to your mistress a most hated enemy, as the loyal pet you are. Right, pet?”
The twin glows grew too blinding, and for fear of losing my meager lunch all over Her beautiful hoofguards, i could only whisper tightly, “Yes, Mistress.”
“And this was all done according to your will.”
i shook my head and looked up, surprising Her. My heart beat quickly as i considered the full potential of Her displeasure; still, this had to be said. i had to assure Her how devoted, how faithful, how completely Hers i was; maybe, just maybe then, things could go back to the way they were. “No. Not by my will. By yours, of course.” i scooted forward, never leaving my supplicated position, to plant a hesitant kiss on one of Her hooves. “What good is my will when i have yours to guide me?”
Dead silence ruled the room for a moment, then the twin glows faded and thunderous, uproarious laughter, beautiful as the last rays of sunset, sounded from Her mouth. “Very good. You have done well, pet.”
My eyes widened at that. She praised me. Me, the pony who had so recently disappointed Her and made Her throw me out from Her presence over failing to catch traitors, had done something worthy of praise! This was the happiest moment of my life; i felt warm, needed, safe, needed, needed, needed, needed, needed i was needed! There was something i could do to help Her, to help Equestria! i knew, from the moment that horrible pegasus took me hostage, that this was my chance to prove to Her that i was a good worthy faithful pet and She would hold me with Her wings again and if i could just sleep in her bed by Her side i could die happy and it was so cold everywhere else why was it so cold and the sun why hadn't the sun come no She must have Her reasons who was i to question them she said herself i was just a pet just a pet just a pet just a loyal pet always at Her side just a pet just a loyal pet always a loyal pet...
By the time i had brought myself out of my moment of bliss, i was back in my cell. Had She teleported me back here? Had Her guards put me back here? It didn't matter. She saw that i was a good pet. That was all that mattered. As i laid my head down to sleep, i couldn't believe how lucky a pony i was.
“Twilight...” A voice came, as though from a great distance.
“Unh?” My eyes fluttered open to reveal the same dreamscape i had met the strange pony, Luna, in before, although now she was chained to a large rock with shackles. “Oh, it's... you.”
“I beseech you. Wake up. Wake up. Just look at yourself!”
i tried to stand, but fell back into... something. A quick look around from my prone position showed my unusual situation.
A thick, strong chain was attached to my collar, attaching me to a lounging statue of Celestia. My body only half stuck out of the statue, and as i watched, interested, the statue grew closer as it slowly absorbed more and more of my form. A dreamy smile came over my face.
“As it should be,” i remarked.
“You... you would go so far as to surrender thy very soul and essence?” Luna whispered.
Across the darkness separating us, i smiled gently. “If She requires it of me, to become more a pet, an object, a thing, than a pony, who am i to say no?” i closed my eyes, ignoring her desperate pleas for me to wake. i was awake.
This was my every want, my every desire.
Just then, lightning cracked, and my eyes shot open to see the horrifying visage of Nightmare Moon, leering before me.
Tears welled in my eyes as i shrank back, willing myself further and further into Celestia's image. i would be safe there. i would be safe there. “D-don't come any cl-closer!” i exclaimed, the very air from my lungs seeming to flee in her presence.
“How interesting. You see me here.” She drew to her full height. “Try retreating into Celestia's embrace! Will yourself away, little pony! Save yourself by becoming hers... if you can.” Her horrible laughter, so like that of the dark clone of myself she had used against me, echoed endlessly, scrambling my nerves. i wouldn’t let her manipulate me again... but what could i do if push came to shove? i willed myself further to Celestia. i just had to become utterly Hers, and i would be safe.
Through my panic, i saw her stride over to Luna, whose expression was more solemn than the grave. Her eyes closed, her ears drooped, and her whole body went limp, as though she—even of such strong will—knew that this was a fight she could not win.
“And you,” Nightmare Moon hissed, “have been a very bad pony. Contacting Twilight in her dreams, trying to undo all my hard work... how ungrateful. Why, this is all for you.”
I couldn't hear Luna's whispered reply, but Nightmare Moon reared back in rage. “How dare you suggest otherwise, you insolent foal! All of this has been according to your will, in your name, by your body! And don't you try and claim for a moment that this wasn't what you wanted.” Nightmare Moon bent her neck, so close to Luna that she could have bit her ear, and whispered, so sharp that it carried through the void clearly: “I've seen your mind, after all. I am your mind.”
Luna sagged and sobbed, her whole form heaving as the chains clung to her more lovingly. Even as my heart went out to the poor thing, Nightmare Moon's attention went back to me. i yelped and willed myself into the graven image all the faster. If i just ceased to exist outside of my devotion to Celestia, i would be safe. She couldn't hurt me anymore. She couldn't hurt me anymore.
Nightmare Moon slowly, sinuously, made her way over to me.
“i-i'm not afraid! You can't... you can't hurt me anymore. P-Princess Celestia will protect me,” i cried, staring defiance into those eyes that had ruined my life.
“Of course she will,” Nightmare Moon whispered. “Of course she will.”
My scream echoed off the walls as i jolted up from my cold bed of tiles; my coat was drenched with sweat. Nightmare Moon... somehow, just as i had known that that pony Luna—whoever she was—was not just a figment of my foalish mind, i knew that Nightmare Moon had actually been there. That primal terror, that feeling of helplessness—i suppose i should have been glad i hadn't started suddenly worshiping her. Again. Fresh shivers came over me.
The two guards were outside my cell. “Her Highness summons you.”
“She does?!” i leapt up, eyes aglow and heart aflutter. i could scarcely focus as they led me to Her—i was so elated, i'd forgotten that i hadn't eaten. But such things were irrelevant compared to Her wishes. What was my measly body compared to Her will?
We entered the throne room through a back way, and i found myself led to Her side. Her face was a mask of unreadable emotion—much as i wanted to bury my muzzle in that sweet, sweet coat and inhale, absorbing as much of Her scent as i could, the last thing i wanted was to jeopardize the progress i had made in getting back in Her good graces. The usual line of petitioners snaked out the door, although they looked fearful rather than eager for once. Had they heard of the actions to quell the rebellion?
i turned to look at Her again, only to catch a bit of white and blue that was out-of-place. i craned my neck forward a bit and saw... “Big brother?!” i hissed, trying to get his attention.
His ears flicked, suggesting he heard me, but he remained resolutely staring forward. His coat was ruffled, and bits of it had been torn out. A few scabbed-over wounds dotted his legs—presumably from the guards that had hauled him away. He wasn't wearing his Guard armor, which he always did while in Her presence—or around Her on duty, i should say—so he probably hadn't been reinstated. Or had he even been fired? Surely a heretic had been fired...
“Twilight, look ahead, please.”
i obeyed. Her will preempted all.
Kneeling before the throne were my parents, looking healthy as ever, whose hooves trembled from being in the presence of so many questioning eyes. “M-may... may we speak to them?” Dad asked.
Princess Celestia nodded, Her infinite majesty and benevolence carried through one sharp, slow inclination of Her royal head. “But of course. Who would I be to keep parents from seeing their foals?” She laughed: wedding bells before i walked down the aisle as a living stepping stone for Her as She went to claim whoever She wished but i had always hoped it was me bad pet bad pony for being envious and having desires and knowing that Her wishes were far more important than yours but still hoping, daring, wishing She would change her mind, wrap you in those soft wings and...
“Twilight!” my mother called, breaking my delightful fantasy (but that was all it could ever be) and waving me over. Shining was already talking to Dad in hushed tones.
In a daze, i walked down. “H-hi, Mom.” What could i do? What could i say? i had gone from temporary ruler of Equestria (at least in name) to disappointment to Her honored pet in a few weeks. What words could sum that up?
She drew me in for a hug. “Oh, oh Twilight... we were so worried about you. When we heard that both you and Shining had been thrown in jail...”
i pulled back, a little embarrassed by her display. “i'm okay, Mom. Really. i just... made a little mistake.”
Her ears flattened as she snuck a glance at the male half of the family. “Your brother looks awful... I was afraid you'd suffered the same treatment.”
i chuckled. “Oh, Princess Celestia would never do—”
“Huh?” My mother's eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Just then, Shining Armor came over. “Mom! i need to tell you—”
She hushed him with a wave of her hoof. “No, no. Twilight was just saying something very interesting.”
i glanced between the two. What was odd? “i just mean She wouldn't do anything to hurt me.” i shuffled out of the hug, wanting to distance myself from the awkwardness; my exaggerated respect had elicited a hissed intake of breath from Mom. “Nothing i didn't deserve, anyway...” i zoned out for a moment.
“Mom, please, can't you see you're bothering Twilight? We just need to trust in... the Princess,” Shining Armor said.
That caught my attention. “Oh, big brother, you've seen the light? Oh, thank goodness!” i rushed forward and gave him an energetic hug. “i was so worried before when you were acting all weird... but i'm so glad you've come to your senses.”
Hesitantly, as though worried he would break me, he patted me on the back of my head with a hoof. He hissed into my ear, so low not even our parents would have heard. “I don't know why you're doing this or acting this way, but I will not leave you alone here.” His grip tightened. “I'm not leaving my little sister. ...I just hope this is worth it.” His voice ended on a bitter note, and before i could ask him what in Equestria he meant, he broke our hug. “So, uh, Mom, Dad, as you can see, we're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. ...How are you?”
My father opened his mouth to speak, but Her silky voice interrupted. “Much as I hate to interrupt such a touching reunion, these two need to get back to their duties. Don't you two?”
i instantly ran to her side. “Y-yes, of course! Anything! Whatever you wish...” She graced me by turning Her gaze upon me, and i found myself slipping further and further into those emerald eyes, so deep my very sense of self seemed to slip away, leaving me awash in pleasant emptiness, letting me be whatever She wished me to be. If only... if only this moment could last forever. This was all i wanted. All i needed. Just to lose myself in those eyes...
“B-but, Your Majesty, surely we...” Dad said.
Her head snapped back to the hall. “Leave.” Her commanding, overpowering voice boomed and echoed across the heads of all ponies present, and i immediately dipped into a bow. That voice—that powerful, beautiful voice—just demanded instant obedience. No thoughts of doing anything else. And all out of love—love! We all loved our Princess. There was no need for fear, no need for want, no need for pain—there was only joy under Her rule.
i heard my parents whinny in surprise and quickly leave, the steps of many petitioners galloping in front of them. My eyes remained glued to the floor; She would clearly have orders for me. She instead walked away, over to my brother. “I believe you know what you must do.”
He snorted. “...Go to Manehattan and use the Guard to bring the city under control. Just like... just like all the rest.”
“Your sister so graciously delivered one of their leaders to me so the resistance should be a bit less organized.”
“She what...?”
i lifted my head up to see a bewildered, wide-eyed stare sent my way from my BBBFF. i smiled awkwardly. “i'm helping!”
A snorted blast of air through his snout, and he stormed off, looking none too pleased as he attended to his duties for Her.
“A... and me, Mistress?”
“Do as you wish.”
i didn't even have to think. “But your wish is my wish.”
Her eyebrow twitched and a frown curled onto her face. “And my wish is for you to do as you wish.”
“i... okay.” Confused, i watched Her leave. Free to do as i wished? My mouth twitched. My wishes... my wishes didn't matter. All i wanted was to be close to Her... but... if that was what she meant, i just had to calm down and consider my options. How could i stay close?
i wandered off, determined to take a walk to clear my head. Maybe Canterlot would give me an idea.
The castle grounds long behind me, i wandered into Canterlot proper. The long night had clearly taken its toll; everypony was heavily bundled up, and shivering ponies lined even the main streets. The nobles, having apparently managed to survive, all trotted briskly by, not sparing the sufferers the slightest glance.
My heart went out to those poor ponies. i approached a white pegasus mare with a blonde mane trying to wrap her body and wings around a shivering red foal. “Um... are you okay? Can... can i help?”
She glanced up, her soft eyes going steely when she saw who i was. “You.” She nudged her foal up. “Come on, Dawnburst. We have to move.”
The foal’s eyes flittered open, her wasted form barely moving. The poor thing's wings looked ready to fall off at the joints. “But Mommy...”
“Come on, we have to go.” She placed him on her back and sent a glare that could have withered an oak my way. “Don’t follow us, you monster,” she spat.
Monster?
i stood there, watching the pair vanish into an alley. Was this really the capital of Equestria, the city i'd lived in my whole life? What had happened to everypony? To Equestria?
i brushed aside such thoughts. She would make everything better. She would make everything better. Just had to trust in Her. Just had to trust in Her. Believe in Her. My necklace glowed, seeming to lend a soft light of approval to my thoughts. A feeling of rightness settled about me, as though everything was as it should be about my life. Just had to trust in Her to settle it and help Her wherever i could. Eternal loyalty to her and my unending admiration and love.
Really, there wasn't much difference between a faithful student and a faithful pet.
i moved along, still a bit unsettled, and noticed a department store proudly displaying a banner with an illustration of a posh unicorn mare wearing a lacy saddle. “A sale on saddles...” i whispered. If i looked nice, would She want to spend more time around me? With a start, i realized i was filthy all over from lying in my cell. i had to clean myself up! Clean myself up and... look nice.
Must look nice. Must look nice.
i walked into the store, barely registering the staff as i wandered to the sale section.
Must look nice. Must look nice. Had to look nice.
i plucked a saddle in my size adorned with red bows and white lace hearts all over the trimming. This. This would make me look nice. As i walked up to buy it, not even thinking about how i was going to pay, i spotted a sign with some chocolate.
Chocolate.
Must have chocolate.
I grabbed the chocolate in my magic too, trying not to look at anything else on my way out. Had to clean up and look nice. And chocolate. Impulse control was difficult when my only will was Her will.
The clerk didn’t even try to stop me on my way out the door, instead shrinking in fear as i passed. i left the bright lights behind, stuffing my face with delicious chocolate. Yes. Chocolate, check. Look nice... not quite check.
i headed back to the castle, determined to find a shower.
A long, satisfying grooming session later, i strode up to the door to Her chambers, feeling at peace with everything. “Is Her Majesty in?”
“No... what is it you want, Pet?” one of the guards asked, flicking his tail in curiosity.
i shook my head. “Oh, nothing...” i walked away and rounded the corner, then lit up my horn. This old trick had worked dozens of times—one of these days i really had to talk to somepony about teleportation proofing the castle. Eventually somepony was going to use it for something... unsavory.
i popped into Her chambers, my heart beating faster. My new saddle sat in my saddlebags, heavy with purpose, but my eyes wouldn't leave the bed. Her big, gorgeous bed... the one She slept in every night.
i could restrain myself no longer; i launched myself at Her bed, feeling it absorb the impact of my insignificant body in its cushy depths. My very coat tingled with excitement as i rolled on the bed and just inhaled continuously, wanting to fill my lungs with Her scent and never let it go; i wanted her inside me.
Eventually, my fun ended, and i unpacked my saddlebags, donning the perfect outfit for what would hopefully be a perfect night.
The saddle sitting snugly on my ready form, i lounged on Her bed, awaiting Her arrival. The doors opened, and She strode in, confident as ever. She paused, noticing my prone form. She turned, closed the doors, and strode over to me, an amused smile alighting on Her face.
“You said to do as i wished, and... and...” i choked up, unable to bear Her eyes seeing me like this. A deep, warm blush rose to my cheeks. “Do i... do i look nice enough for you now?”
“Oh, you want to be with me?” She asked, Her tone if not expression neutral.
My mind latched onto that. Yes. Being with Her. That was what i had gone to so much trouble for, right? This was what i wanted. Be with Her. Be with Her. Be with Her.
She reached out with Her magic, gently caressing my cheek. i leaned into it, nuzzling Her magic. Such an innocent gesture, but suggestive of things far less innocent. But if that was what it took to be close, who was i to object? My desires no longer mattered. This was what was desired by the one who knew best, and i could do nothing but go along with it.
Oh, how i wanted Her to use me. Use me. Use me. “Use me.” Use me.
She laughed, Her beautiful, terrible voice filling my ears with a sound more glorious than the dawn. “Oh, Pet.” She grasped my whole body, floating me over to Her.
i went limp, surrendering all control of my body as a dreamy smile came over my face. This was nice. No control over my will, no control over my body... everything just as She willed it. This was good. This was how it should be.
“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student... my faithful pet.” She floated me around, spinning me slowly in the air, as though to see every detail of my body. i started to feel like a statue on display—She could do whatever She wished to me, and that would be enough for me.
“Yes, Mistress?”
“You're a foal.” Without warning, she hurled my body through the air.
Just barely in time, i curled myself into a ball—that pesky self-preservation instinct stopping me from obeying—and slammed against the wall. The necklace that had been such a precious, precious gift hit the wall first, and as stone hit jewelry, i felt it chip, then shatter. With a portentous crack, the symbol of Her favor for me fell off, and i swayed to and fro on my unsteady hooves, the colors of the world distorting before my eyes.
Princess Celestia looked... dark. Black, almost. She strode closer, and i could see that She was not, in fact, who i thought She was.
I gasped, backing up against the wall in fear. “You're... you're...”
The dark alicorn with a mane of stars loomed over me. “Name me, pony.”
“You're... you're...” It wasn't possible. It wasn't possible. I was safe everything had been right and what did this mean oh Celestia I'd betrayed Equestria not once but twice and what a fool I had been serving Her and out you damned voice making me pet pet i am Her pet must obey must obey bow before Her and let Her use us like the tool we are we are nothing before Her obey obey obey no! My head shook violently.
“Speak!” she bellowed, the raw force of her voice pinning me against the wall. In that moment, I knew who that pony was.
Never again. Never again.
“You're... th-the Mare in the Moon... Nightmare Moon.”
Nightmare Moon grinned, relishing in her power over me. “And how amusing it's been to have Celestia's student prancing around, thinking she was serving her teacher when in fact, you were helping little old me.”
Her mane curled out, as though to touch me, and I swatted it away with a hoof.
“Suddenly grown a spine, my little pony?”
I shivered, feeling the full weight of the situation I was in come down around my shoulders like all the lives of all the ponies I'd unwittingly ruined... and ended, in one case. “I'm not... I'm not your slave any more, Nightmare Moon.”
She barked another laugh and paced, crouching like a predator ready to spring. “Feel that surge of power in your body, letting you feel like you can do anything? It's screaming at you two things, two primal things: fight and flight. Which are you going to do, little foal?”
Liquid fire ran through my veins, making me hyperventilate as the choice she'd outlined screamed through my brain.
Fight.
Flight.
Fight.
Flight.
“Fight.”
She stopped short, snickering. “Fight? But whatever for? You’ve done so well at surrendering so far.” I shrank back in primal fear as she stalked forward. “Your friends are dead or imprisoned. Your brother has devoted himself to my will. Your precious teacher is forever sealed in the sun.” She loomed over me, attempting to strike despair into my heart. “You are all alone, without any one or any thing to fight for.”
I shook my head, trying to clear the incessant voices clamoring for me to grovel and beg for forgiveness out of my mind. “That’s... that’s where you’re wr-wrong, Nightmare Moon. I have a pony worth fighting for.”
“What about worth dying for?” she whispered, her mane and tail gathering into a storm above her.
There was no hesitation. No thought. Only my immediate answer. “Yes.”
“And who on Equestria could that be?” she mused.
“Me.”