• Member Since 16th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen January 27th

Thunderscourge


Hi there! Thank you for checking out my work, and I hope you find something to enjoy. Comments and PMs are always welcome, and I love hearing from readers!

T
Source

A pariah who has long lived in their elder sibling's shadow, only to try and violently assert their own greatness and fail...both Loki and Luna know this tale all too well.
After the events of Thor, Loki Odinson of Asgard has fallen from grace, only to find himself in an unknown realm. Reaching out to him is Princess Luna, whom finds the similarities between them. Will Loki accept her help and recover from his dismay, or will he end up spurning it because of his arrogance?

More info below the break.

Arc 1: Entering Equestria 1-13
Arc 2: The Avengers 14-23
Arc 3: The Great and Powerful Student 24-33
Arc 4: Delving into Hel Itself 34-46
Mini Arc 1: Lorelei the Temptress 47-48
Mini Arc 2: The Equestria Games 49-50
Arc 5: Thor The Dark World 51-57
Arc 6: Calm Before the Storm 58-70
Arc 7: The Performance of a Lifetime, the Fall of Thanos 71-75
Arc 8: To Remember When One Should Forget 76-80, Epilogue
Bonus Chapters

Cover image from CuteSkitty on Deviantart: http://fav.me/d5whxcz

Chapters (92)
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Comments ( 5051 )

Seems good, but aren't you afraid that people might get pissed off that you made him a full-fledged alicorn?:unsuresweetie:

Only time will tell, I guess.:trollestia:

2706075 Hadn't thought people would react poorly, but Loki is a god in and of himself so I thought make more sense if he was the pony equivalent while he is one. :twilightsheepish:

Whatever the case, if that's all they can complain about, then they might want to reconsider complaining at all. A god like being being a god like being? How outrageous!

Anyways, thank you. :twilightsmile:

Yo! I like the idea so far and would like to see more.

I'm not sure why everyone has this massive aversion to an author creating an alicorn character, most likely because they most often turn into a 'Mary Sue', but i feel in this setting it is appropriate. Loki as a normal unicorn would just be dumb, he is a god afterall, much like Luna and Celestia.

That doesn't mean it's all sunshine and buttercups, you're going to need to work on evolving Loki's character more, as it was a bit static in this your first chapter. I hope you have something big planned for your next!

2706828 Thanks for taking the time to read, and for taking the time to comment :twilightsmile:

I agree with you. Loki as a regular unicorn would be kind of insulting to his character. It would make him seem more like this

than actually a powerful being.

And don't worry, Loki will be changing quite a bit...but his character ended in Thor when he is beyond reason, angry enough to try and kill his brother he previously loved if also envied, and sad enough to try and let himself fall into nothingness. He's not exactly at the point where he'll want to do anything but brood over his life, but that's the point of the story: his attitude shifts. Glad you let me know what you thought about his flatness in the first chapter though.

I don't really read ponyfacation stories, But this will be an exception.

*Looks at the characters*

...

*looks at the tags*

...

*Spit takes*

My Brain Immediately thinks of This

2708021 Haha, good ol' Sleipnir :rainbowlaugh:

Loki won't be re-enacting his mythology self that gave birth to Sleipnir. Promise. And the other characters will be appearing, but have about a scene a-piece. No Sleipnir, don't worry :rainbowlaugh:

Then again, if enough people are interested there will end up being sequels...I'll keep mum on the whole matter.

Originally wrote 80% of the entire story before posting this first part...I almost want to collect it all and post it as one thing, but I've already submitted this first chapter... :raritydespair:

2708166

Oh you mistook my comment for disgust. quite the contrary I was slightly Intrigued... which somewhat disturbs me in hindsight.

2708201 Alrighty then :rainbowlaugh:

Still, possibilities. But I still have to get through this story first. Wish I could have gotten more feedback before finishing the last bits of it, but oh well.

in before 8 leg off spring between luna and loki... "it will go just as planed"

loki gave birth to sleipnir when he was a mare in Norse myths

2712179 I know, as I noted in the other comments. Your previous comment made no sense though, thus the confusion. :twilightsheepish:

huh wow now i feel dumb i didn't read the previous comments :fluttercry:

Hey! I really enjoyed this chapter!

I like how you portrayed Loki, specifically his contradictory personality. He constantly shifts between contempt and goodwill erratically with a believable stream of consciousness. This is not only difficult to do, but is also true to the character. Throughout the legends and comics, Loki has always been portrayed as a whimsical character, one that rides the border between good and evil for reasons even he doesn't seem to understand. It also makes him misunderstood and redeemable, which is just fekking awesome! So keep it up!

I found the conversation between him and Luna to be a bit forced, and I wasn't expecting it in this chapter. You're going to have to start introducing common ground or driven character interest if you want to keep the conversation rolling smoothly. Might I recommend a scene in the next chapter where Luna mulls over why she does indeed show such interest in him? This would drive the next conversation they have. Another mechanism you could use is his injured wing to further an interaction. I would have used it to garner sympathy, particularly with Luna, which Loki is not so accustomed to considering his origins. This would obviously form a connection between the two, one where both get something they don't from others.

Otherwise I like where this is going going, moar I say! :pinkiecrazy:

From this chapter, it seems that Loki is slowly becoming caring towards others, after helping Scootaloo with her scooter.:scootangel: And I absolutely ADORE how you put in the line "Oki doki, Loki!" That made my day!:pinkiehappy:

Anyway, great chapter, hope you get the computer fixed up, and I demand moar!:yay:

'and even a sorcerer as skilled as him not shapeshift in their sleep. It took concentration...' - Needs a 'Could' in there, couple of minor nitpicks with the grammar of this chapter, not sure exactly what it is but it just... Reads wrong to me. Otherwise it seems fine, pony arrogance all around, Yay...

2774388 I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! I wanted it to have a partially same feel as the first one, given that Loki is stubborn, but also reflect the contradictions that make him an interesting character.

Thank you very much for your kind words about how I portrayed Loki :twilightsmile: I was almost in tears when I read that, because it felt good to have someone appreciate how I write a character I love (not in the way his fangirls do :rainbowlaugh: ). I knew that Loki would need to show his flip-flop ways, so I tried to do so by giving him a variety of characters to work off of: Pinkie Pie is too energetic for him, Scootaloo is a bright eyed kid who loves her "older sibling" (similar to Loki's relationship with Thor), and Luna is a throwback to his nightmares concerning his family, while also holding a short fuse (for a pony) with the power to back it up. All let Loki display a different side: Pinkie Pie enacted the cold, logical Loki who simply wished to be rid of her, Scootaloo brought out his goodwill by reminding him of his halcyon days, and Luna brought out the anger and contempt he has been trying to ignore. I'm glad you liked him in this chapter, and I hope you continue to do so!

And yeah, sorry about the Luna conversation…it was admittedly added onto the rest after 2 weeks, since the entire rest of the chapter had already been done before my computer died, so I didn't have the same mindset and flow put into it as the rest had. And I kind of wanted to get it over with so I could upload the rest. Thanks for your suggestions and thoughts, and I will surely take them into account for the next chapter! Your insight is very helpful.

Thanks again, and hopefully I can get the next chapter out soon for you!

2776240 Sorry bout that. When I recovered the file certain parts came back wrong (for example, "I like apple Pie" would have come back "lk pplie app)...I tried fixing everything, but guess I missed that bit! Bet there are more errors I couldn't find...

Anyways, hope you enjoyed despite that!

2776231 I just had to put in the "Okey doki Loki" bit with Pinkie Pie. In fact, I had to have Pinkie Pie in it. She is obsessive about greeting newcomers, she says the above line in the show, and she is the perfect counter to Loki's calculated logic. Besides, its Pinkie Pie, who would believe her if she said she saw a green Alicorn? Glad you enjoyed her bit!

And yes, I did try to show a more caring side to Loki, but it's not a universal thing. Loki is a contradictory and complicated fellow, and I will try to keep walking the line of his chaotic morality.

And thanks about the computer! It actually is fixed now, but it's taking forever to get all my files back...that's not even mentioning the ones coming back wrong, corrupt, or not complete. Ugh. Thanks though, and I hope to get the next chapter out soon!

:fluttercry: Right in the feels. I like the direction this fic took in terms of the whole "sympathy for the devil" angle with a lot of empathy mixed in as well.

Loki: My brother got a day of the week named after him.

Luna: Celestia got everything in space named after her.

Faved.

2803107 Why thank you! I believe that the pony who would have the most sympathy for a "devil" would be Luna, since she was in Loki's place before and quite the same situation. :fluttercry:

Thanks for favoriting the story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it! I would love to hear from you again when I finish the next chapter in the next few days, so thanks again! :twilightsmile:

Wow, the feels....:fluttershbad:

I just need to say this right now:This chapter has GOT to be the BEST chapter in the story, it really shows how Loki only did what he did because he was hurt and confused, not out of malice. :twilightsmile: The whole romance with Luna is really well played out too, with it being really sweet, and not rushed whatsoever.

All-in-all, only one word can describe this...amazing.:pinkiehappy:

2803309 Hahaha, I've heard from 3 people about this chapter so far and all 3 people have mentioned "the feels" in the very beginning of what they had to say. I think I did something right to get the emotional aspect of the story across! :rainbowderp:

And I'm glad you liked this chapter so much! It was long, but admittedly a portion of it was transcribed from Thor. Loki really is hurt and confused, which drives him to make very poor decisions, but he is not an evil soul. He just is a poor soul who was broken on so many levels that he didn't know what to do...something Luna will be helping him with. They aren't exactly lovey-dovey at the moment, but they are about to become companions as I hinted at in the last line. Loki isn't the sort to become emotionally attached to any one thing overnight, so it'll take some time, but it will indeed happen as the story's summary suggests! I am glad you enjoyed how their relationship grew in the chapter though, and I hope you continue to do so! :heart:

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter when I finish it in a few days! :twilightsmile:

Sup buddy!

I've read a few of the comments, and I've got to agreed with them. This is your best chapter so far!

I see you took my advice and did an introspective piece with Luna and it turned out fantastically! Luna comes across as intellectual and caring, but somehow you managed to maintain her dark streak. So good job! Already we can see Loki's redeemable qualities, but that he still has a long way to go, so you have plenty of fodder for future chapters.

Now that you've established common ground between Loki and Luna, I'm quite curious where you want to go next.

You might want to consider adding a bit of sexual tension in the next chapter for several reasons. Firstly, while there has obviously been relationship development, there hasn't been any real indication that it is romantic in nature. Also, it could be an interesting and comical character development to see how Loki handles advances from a species not his own. I would imagine Luna is actually quite innocent in the affairs of the heart, which could increase her cute factor, and it would be interesting to see how the two act upon their burgeoning feelings.

The emphasis has obviously been on Luna and Loki, but it seems you might introduce Celestia as a prominent character, which I think would be pretty kewl. I'm thinking, depending on how you want your setting to pan out, that male Alicorns could be a rarity, in which case there could be a little competition between the two sisters for Loki. Jealously is also a good mechanism for a naive character to channel feelings they don't understand yet. But hey, it's just an idea! I'm also not sure which characters you want to focus on yet...

Other than that, it's just getting better and better mate! As always I look forward to your next chapter, but let me know if you want to hit around a few ideas...

2804899 Thank you very much! It means a lot coming from you that you think this to be the best chapter so far. :twilightsmile:

I shaped half of this chapter based on what you said previously, but the meat of the chapter was already thought of and a good deal done at the time. Your thoughts were too invaluable to pass up though, so I went about modifying what was there! I'm glad you liked Luna's portrayal, as it is something I tried to do my best on. She is the closest thing Equestria has to a plain up female Loki, meaning that she too has a dark streak to her otherwise good attitude, and I'm glad I succeeded in making that work! And Loki indeed has some redeeming qualities…but he has to utilize them, something that the distraught Loki might not be fond with doing. Much. :raritywink:

I still do have plans for where this is all going, and in-fact I will be introducing something interesting next chapter…you'll have to wait and see though! :rainbowwild:

Now I'm thinking about adding sexual tension because the Element of Laughter would never forgive me if I didn't. Innocent Luna unknowingly making advances…Loki being a bit weirded out…anyways, I am a fan of characters not instantly becoming romantic partners. First they're going to be regular friends, and then we go from there! Don't worry, this won't be like my Batman Arkham Asylum story "A Misled Lamb" where I took 55 chapters to get from the characters meeting to them admitting their feelings. But yes, I am now making plans for adorable Luna because of you. :rainbowlaugh:

Celestia will indeed be a prominent character, as she is Luna's "Thor" so to speak and their relationship is important. I do indeed have a bit of jealousy planned for the reason you mentioned, but I will also note that I do not have plans to have the royal sisters fight over who gets to love Loki. In fact, more so the opposite…we all know Celestia's outrage when Discord appeared, a powerful being of chaos, and she would not likely be too kind towards another being of similar qualities. With that in mind though, the readers I have on Deviantart have been joking about what would happen if Luna and Loki had kids while Celestia and Discord had kids…R.I.P. Equestria in the most chaotic and funny ways possible. :rainbowlaugh:

Thank you again for your thought-out comment, and I hope to hear from you again when I finish the next chapter!

And I am always interested in hitting around ideas :twilightsmile:

nice story! I WANT MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy::derpytongue2::twilightsheepish::raritystarry::trollestia::heart::heart::heart::heart:

It seems good for the most part, but Loki's leaning on Luna seems a bit rushed. Even if tjey have things in common, they only just met. That, and during their last meeting she was seemingly treating him as a lesser that should bow before her.

2807150 I left it ambiguous who leant on who: fur touched, but I didn't say who did it. The idea was originally going to be Luna did it, but when I put it down to words I liked the way it ended up more. :rainbowlaugh:

If Loki leaned on Luna, then it could be chalked up to being an emotional wreck and not knowing what he's doing. If Luna leaned on Loki, then it could be chalked up to being very sympathetic to a kindred soul and taking pity on them.

Then there is option C, where they both leaned on eachother. :scootangel:

See? Many possibilities! Thanks for your thoughts though. :twilightsmile:

And here we have a chapter which would clearly fit into the Not So Different TvTropes page quite well :rainbowwild:

Through It feels like you've just thrown Luna's mother in there for some extra angst, we certainly don't know anything about Luna and Celestia's mother... Will you be further expanding on that point further down the story or was it more of a one time mention thing.

World building is important you know. :P

D48

This is very good. I really like the way you are handling the trauma they have suffered, and the way they are leaning on each other for support at the end of this is fantastic. It really feels like the natural outpouring of all the pain they have been keeping buried until now when they finally found someone who truly understood their pain. I am very much looking forwards to their next face to face meeting because it should be interesting to see how this new common ground interacts with their old animosity without the pain of the dream to bring down their guards.

I am also kind of wondering what Pinkie is going to do because I have a feeling she is going to throw a spanner into the works sooner or later.:facehoof:

Finally, I did notice a few little typos in this chapter (although I forgot to write them down:derpytongue2:) so it might not be a bad idea to give it another editing pass at some point.

2944912 Haha, don't worry about Pinkie...she's only to appear every now and again. She's in no way important, but I had to include her because if one enters Ponyville they WILL be greeted by the pink being. Having her also lets me give fun nods to the "Okey Doki Loki" line in my other stories, such as "Meet the Scootaloo" where Pinkie notes Loki hasn't visited in awhile. Pinkie's there for fun, as she would want it to be :rainbowlaugh:

And thanks for what you said as well! I'm sure their next meeting will be a bit different (when I finally manage to get to writing it...), and I hope you'll enjoy it!

3411327 The feels are an important piece to the story, yes. :rainbowlaugh:

Working on the next chapter at the minute in fact. Had the majority of the entire story already finished when I ran into one issue: Zecora. Her rhymes made me rage quit. That, mixed with some real life issues and some online ones stopped me from writing...but none of that now, so new chapters to be finished soon! :pinkiehappy:

3193970 Working on finishing it at this very moment! Sorry bout the wait and late reply! :twilightsheepish:

3414456 that's fine I am stalking you :pinkiecrazy:

3415574 Hahaha, okay then :rainbowlaugh:

It should be out in the next day or so. I'll be working on it as much as I can today!

3417523 I can say for certain after how much I've finished today it'll be out tomorrow night! :pinkiehappy: :heart:

3417835 *snoopy happy dance* YAY!!!! I LIKE LOKI AND LUNA LOL :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::scootangel::yay::trollestia::twilightsmile:

This story is really good keep the updates coming;)

Definately enjoyed this. I can't wait to see what's next!

It's alive! Nice to see an update. Great chapter and hope for more soon.

Nightmare Moon as a spirit? I doubt it that she can attain a real body like that.

And here. We. Go.

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