• Member Since 17th Jul, 2012
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Jacoboby1


T

During preparations for Nightmare Night a royal guard is found dead. The cause? Massive and sudden blood loss, is this really the work of a Vampony? Or something far worse? The murderer appears to be connected somehow with an ancient cult that worshipped Nightmare Moon. Who better for Detective Private Eye to seek then the Princess of the Night herself: Princess Luna. But she seems to know Private from somewhere else...or at least somepony who looks like him...

Filies and Colts of every age, wouldn't you like to read something strange? Come with me and see a sight, this tale told on Nightmare Night...

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 157 )

Some of the tags clashes!
seriously, how the hell are you supposed to make a story being both comic and tragic? Not even Big Mac can do that :rainbowhuh:
You even topped it with a dark tag.

take a step back, look at the story and try t ofind out where you stepped wrong :twilightsmile:

Oh god, my sides! Somebodies feeling like adding a lot of comedy lately! Huh, I must really start watching Firefly, I've heard its good.

Oh, and nice BlackGryph0n reference!

Also on the chap above me, comedy is displayed here, but most of the later chapters with get pretty dark and tragic with a vampony on the loose!

1499453 It's called "Dark Comedy". And I think he considers the titular murder that starts the investigation to be a tragedy, but you'd have to ask the author, himself.

A Vampony! O the potential mayhem! The golrio-

What? Scheming? Of course not, what would give you that idea...


fhtagn

1500443
I didn't point it out because i don't like it, but because the mods don't like it :twilightsmile:

1503815It has elements of comedy but also there are times when it does get sad and bad things happen, thus the tags

Well, that was a quite awkward meeting for Private! Nice way to meet the Princess of the Night...

You sure are pulling out a lot of characters for Halloween! Slendermane was quite good, I do say!

Oh and the cults, are Celestia's Witnesses based off Jehova's, and Order of the Philomena based off Order of the Phoenix?

1504016 I can't answer for the Celestia's Witnesses, though that was what I thought when I first read it. The Order of the Philomena was defiantly due to The Order of the Phoenix. Jacoboby was kind enough to leave that after I edited it in. :heart::pinkiehappy:

Oh and furthermore, 'Twilight, if she does make me into a sex slave, know I will always love you!', best line ever.

1504016yes and yes the latter being Shatter's Idea

Horcrux? Or just a magical diary? Either way, I like it.

I think the voice is getting naughtier....

1505892It is...you'll find out why soon enough...

Do...Do I sense a Harry Potter Reference?

1507596Yes you do...there will be several here...

1507599 If Private gets a lightning scar out of this, so help me I will reach through the internet and whack you upside the head! :twilightangry2:

1507941Not that many references mind you...:ajbemused:

Chamber of Secrets reference! Yay!:yay:
That's the second HP reference this case.

Good chapter, nice delving into the past, you did a good job on the medieval voices and Princess Luna becoming Nightmare Moon was a pretty good take, instead of the usual "SHE WUZ CURRUPTZED!"

One thing that bugged me though was "Defiantly a Lunar Stallion"
I don't know why, but it always bugs me when people get definitely and defiantly mixed up.
Unless you meant he was a defiant Lunar Stallion of course...

I can tell the voice is going to fuck with Private a lot more, although I have to say this isn't the worst. The worst was probably him telling Private to leave Dinky and go after Glimmer.

1509186 Hey, we all make mistakes! You're still an amazing editor!

1510147 No problem! Since you've become editor, I've seen some grammar improvements, and commas where they should be ect.
You guys make an awesome team!

1510168 What can I say? Anything to get that chapter sooner. :raritywink:

Holy crap! The voice, it's possessing him! He's going to be...Nightmare Eye? That sounds like Monocules, from TF2 Halloween update if you ask me.

Will we get some reason later in the series as to where he got this voice from, and why the mist makes it stronger? Did he inhale some mist when he was younger maybe?

Another excellent chapter you two!

Shit is about to hit the fan.

Are you translating into Shakespierian English, or are you just randomly adding st's and t's where you see fit? Either way, it still looks good. Nice rendition of medieval times, and looks like Luna's getting corrupted again!

1518178Shattered was ready to kill me for adding it. But we managed to cross that hurdle and get this up.

1518218 Adding what? Kinda vague

1518271the early modern english, it was a pain in the but to edit all of that for her. Thankfully she won't have to do it for the rest of this story

For all the dialogue in the flashbacks. Mainly because trying to change the dialogue to Early Modern English is a pain in the ass. Probably took me about 5 hours to do Chapters 4 and 5. Not enough sleep and now I have to go to work. I feel like my eyes might start bleeding. :raritydespair:

Wait a minute, were those G1 Ponies in the flashback?

Jacoboby, you are a genius.

1518301 Good on you! It was great work!

1519164 Who's a silly Applejack?

1519164I thought it would be simply cool to make a nod to G1 despite me myself not seeing it

The last line "Betrayer" should that be traitor? or is betrayer a word?

Nice chapter, Private's anscestory briefly visited, I feel he'll find more of his roots, and possibly his future again. Nice work of Slendermane, portraying him to be a good guy rather than evil. It seems even he fears The old castle.

Speaking of Luna, a Season 3 episode 1 8 minute preview was released, and she's in it!:yay:

1530157Wait till the epic finale...see if you can spot all the references

Oh god the references! :rainbowlaugh:
Seriously though excellent chapter as always

D'aww, I love a happy ending.
Even if there is one like, every case.

You had some great halloween references this time around, and the comedy was brilliant. For a story that can get as dark and gritty as this one, the comic relief was great.

A side note, the sequence of Divided Nation with Private in it I'll be sending to you to review, to make sure his characters okay.

1535361If you think I go crazy with the references in this chapter, wait till you see the epilogue...

Wow! Didn't expect that! I just meant that I really like the story, but don't feel like you have to rush!

Epic epilogues are cool too! I just said fluffy because a lot of your other epilogues to Equestria Noir have been adorable.

Keep up the good work!

1536137It was already mostly done when you commented anyway

I was actually surprised by the Pinkie and Swarm Part. Didnt expect them to be one step ahead.

1537692That's pinkie for you

That ending. By Celestia's Beard that ending...

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