• Member Since 9th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen May 3rd


Not the milk.



Nightmare Moon has won, and the world has been shrouded in eternal night. But hope still lives. The land of Equestria is currently divided between the armies of the usurper and those of the Dawn Militia. However, the greatest danger to the rebellion may not be the dreaded Mare of the Moon, but her lieutenant, Eclipse–formerly known as Twilight Sparkle.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 82 )


Wow, cool. Need moar powerful Trixie and smarty Twilight))

Yay for confirming a sequel. ::pinkiehappy:

Wonder about the "problem" with FF.net too. cant get why, a site for stories like any other. *shrugs*

I loved this story. So emotional. Can't wait! -tracks-

You're preaching to the choir when it comes to ff.net. While the site has plenty of benefits, such as being free, it does things that really aggravate me. Removing my carefully constructed formatting being one of them whenever I upload something new being just the tip of that iceberg.

I don't see any harm in posting in different places. Not everyone goes to ff.net, EqD or even here to get their story fix. If you want readers to see your work, then taking the extra time to post to different sites is a price I'm always willing to pay.

As for the story itself, read it already when it was posted on EqD but haven't commented on it yet. It's definitely exciting and the action beat in the middle was very well thought out and engaging. The story is violent as all get out though, something that always irks me in this fandom, no matter how well written things are. The existence of guns and bazookas was a little funky as well. However, that doesn't mean I didn't like it; it just means I have to shift my expectations a little. Also, it's sad to see Twilight in such a dark light but there's hope for redemption, which I'm a sucker for.

I'd certainly like to see more. And I don't have to mention just how awesome Trixie is because she always is! That's just a fact!

There's going to be a second chapter/sequel to this? Yeeeees


he used plural so more then one we can hope :pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp:

i found some of this hard to believe, but that is only because of my core set of believes on how these characters should be written, you did a very good job,

new chapter? :trollestia:

Interesting story, would certainly like to see future chapters/sequels. In regards to the FF.net topic in these comments, I can understand the irritation in formatting issues, but the story visibility is second to none. You do a search for fanfiction, you will get it as one of the top results. The search functions and site layouts are also one of the most user friendly I've ever come across for handling as many stories as it does. I can appreciate single fandom shrine sites, I still use a few of the more active ones for other fandoms, but in all cases they are far more difficult to find. Nearly all of them I only found because an author on FF.net kept a link to them as other locations for their stories in their profile, usually for the chapters of stories they feel are too adult for FF.net restrictions :twilightblush:. Now what I can't understand is the popularity of EqD. As far as I have seen, no stories are actually archived on their servers, all stories link to other domains. This degree of seperation makes the site horrible for keeping up to date with the stories, lacking all the tools found in other archive sites. The worst of course is dealing with googledocs through it. As I have only encounterd I think 2 authors that linked chapters within their documents, navigating between chapters requires closing the current googledocs chapter, going back to the EqD tab for the story, assuming you kept it open, and selecting the next chapter link to open a new instance of the googledocs browser. Very awkward to do in comparison to other fiction archives. My biggest issue with the site though has to be the way that it is coded, it is rediculously resource intensive on the client side. One instance of EqD open in my browser bogs down my system worse then 15 tabs worth of any other fiction archive I have used. Bad enough when leaving one open while bouncing between Googledoc pages for a single story, but my usual browsing method is to do a few story searches and queue up a number of tabs for the ones I plan to read as I find them, while I understand there aren't many who do similar, it renders EqD all but unusable with the scripting and such on each page of it. As such, I was quite happy when I discovered Fimfiction.net and shall always enjoy seeing a story previously only accessable from EqD appear here.

...huh that rant went on a bit longer then expected...oops. :scootangel:

Good lord, what did I just read? This is story is epic (and I don't believe that "Complete" tag for a second). You said sequels are in development. Will they be posted as subsequent chapters here or as individual stories?

Your "friend turned foe" portrayal of Twilight is brilliant. The effects of long-term behavior modification through physical and mental pain are quite severe, capable of turning any mind into something almost completely unrecognizable. Eclipse's thoughts and actions fall right in line with everything I know on the subject. It will be interesting to see how her story will end. Will she be the tragic anti-hero, turning on her master and sacrificing herself to give the Elements that one shot at victory? Will she cave in completely to her madness and truly become nothing more than Nightmare Moon's weapon? Or will she simply aid the Dawn Militia destroying the queen and then disappear into life of seclusion and quiet atonement for her crimes?

I like how you have the Diamond Dogs as part of the resistance. Except for one where the zebras are involved, every other AU story like this that I've read only account for ponies acting against whatever tyrant is in power. It's nice th see some of the other races who would be affected by Nightmare Moon's rule.

"This story is"

I really need to proofread what I type before hitting "Add Comment".:facehoof:

Any news on the next chapter?



2percent, I'm not mad at you... But you RUINED my day today, you know that?

I HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT! "The Dusk Militia," the Usurper's Legion... YOU ALREADY DID ALL OF IT! OH MY GOD!


I'm... I had it all planned out... And then I come online to find this... ;( I am so shocked.


Sigh... I'll be writing a totally different story now, thanks to you... I hope it will be for the better. :twilightangry2:

I'm 4/5 the way done with your story... Trixie just escaped Eclipse... And I'm sorry to say... I could do a lot better.

Not that I'm not FUCKEN THRILLED at how awesome this is, don't get me wrong! I'm just saying... When I write my story, I hope you don't get med.

*prays for new chapter/sequel* :derpytongue2:

I kept meaning to post a review to this only to forget; but anyway this story was excellent! Your Nightmare Moon is one of few versions that I've seen that is portrayed with the malicious of the one from the show and being actually evil, instead of the usual poor misunderstood actually a softy-at-heart version that seems to keep popping up in the Nightmare wins stories.

...And thank you for showing or at least hinting that it took Twilight a bit longer then just a few minutes to shift her loyalty from Celestia to Nightmare Moon and didn't make her start suffering from a absurd example of Stockholm syndrome that also usually seems to pop up in these type of fics. Also Twilight feeling heavily betrayed by Celestia (especially after months of torture) is something that I haven't seen before despite it not only making sense but being a interesting plot point.

Her plan on backstabbing Nightmare Moon and the somewhat vagueness on what she is actually planing to do afterward makes really makes me want to see this continued at least by a epilogue showing Nightmare Moon's defeat.:fluttershysad:

The Invader Zim reference at the beginning where amusing and I loved how you also portrayed this version of Trixie. She is isn't perfect, she's screwed up - sometimes even really badly, and suffers from pretty understandable self-esteem issues but at the same time she's continuing onward. Best all much she still feels like Trixie just with several years of growth.

I remember you saying on the fanfiction.net version that you didn't feel like you had the skill to write a epic length story much less begin one I really, really think you are underselling yourself. This story for example could make a great starting place with you slowly revealing the major changes that have happened here in comparison with canon and showing how it's forced the characters to change over the course of the story ....sorta like how you already where doing in this fic.:twilightsheepish:

Anway thanks for the great story!

I know that feel, bro
Seriously, I started writing a TWEWY crossover only to find someone else publish their own on EqD first. Eventually, I lost steam and mine fell on the wayside. :derpytongue2:
Now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves:trixieshiftright:

152688 Ah... I gotta psych myself up, though. xD I'm releasing part 3 tonight... or tomorrow i hope

Great story, hopefully Nightmare Moon can be killed and Twilight can be redeemed.

hu, this would suck without a sequel (puppy eyes)


Hmm. Very intense and entertaining. However, I feel that it seems unfinished. Then end that it has is initially very unsatisfying. The... undercurrent we'll call it, seemed like it was building for more of a resolution further down the line. Upon further consideration the ending on its own is acceptable if not pleasing or satisfying. Again, however, the rest of the story seems to suggest an actual resolution to the plot. This makes where you left it off rather unexpected (not the good kind of unexpected) and frustrating. Looking around you seem to be planning a sequel, or a continuation in the form of more chapters, so we all have that to look forward to.

good fic hope you update soon

Damn, it's been a long time since this story updated :applecry: I hope it will update this month or next month.

Oh wow. I must say, Luna is probably my favorite character. Seeing her COMPLETELY (:pinkiecrazy:) insane, it kinda hurts me a bit.

Nevertheless! I don't think I've ever sat through a 20k chapter in one go. Your story grabbed me from start to finish. Seeing every main character, ahem...and Trixie...be a badass simply makes me want more. More. MORE! :flutterrage:

Until the next story. :rainbowdetermined2:

this wait is driving me crazy, why do i always get hit hardest by the stories which arent finished or isnt set to update any time soon...? :pinkiecrazy:

315562 patience my friend i'm sure he's working up a good 2nd chapter to this amazing story but i know the feeling lol.

this story soo needs a nother chptr it is epic.

we can has update on chapter 2 progress?

Please, sir, can we have some more? :pinkiesad2:

21 weeks dang when are you updating peaple obvlsouly like it or did you just quit ff.net well if you did this message is useless and also mark im not finishing this os be rpepared for disapointment when you dont get to see hte ending:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::twilightangry2::raritycry:

Wow! Probably the most intense action scene i've read in any MLP Fanfic. Hell i've read novels that didn't have action scenes as good as the ones in this story! I have to congratulate you on an excellent piece of work, and I look forward to reading anything more you write for this story.

annnnnnd the waiting is still killing me...slowly...incredibly slowly...is 2% still alive; do we even know that? (yes i dont have anything better to do at the moment; it was either this or go back to studying!)


Brilliant setup for a story really hope theres more to come from this

I've read this once on EqD, and had never forgotten... except for the title though. Silly me.
Such epic fights and confrontations. I need more... please fill our voiding heart with a sequel... Pretty please.

PS: Eclipse' personality, while fighting with Trixie, really reminds me of Azula from Avatar. Anyone remembers their Agni Kai under the comet's aura???

I was seriously expecting Twilight (the real Twilight) to come through some alternate dimension and stop her. Although, a sequel does intrigue me.

Also, FaustiusRune, I do remember the Agni Kai. One of my favorite fights. It needed Trixie sacrificing herself to protect AJ, however. That would be a good idea.

It's one am and I just finished this, then actually sat here wondering, "wtf, where's chapter two?" Heh.

Again, you've come leaps and bounds in your writing, most notably in technique of exposition. It's so nice to occasionally work on a story with no major systemic grammatical errors. Your characterization in this, given time-frame, context, and AU, is excellent. Which makes me wonder about Fluttershy. That's a pretty dramatic shift in gears, to the extent it makes the changes in every other character nearly vanilla in comparison, maaaaaybe barring Twilight. Having read this now, I can also note you do effectively no work in justifying and explaining said changes/abilities, which I won't go into atm as, yknow, the chapter isn't posted yet.

Heh, so yeah, I have a bad habit of stringing people along for months in between chapters as well. Enjoy your readers going rabid when you post! If you get a chance, check out my own work—I'd love your thoughts, given you're one of the few fellow Dark writers I've encountered that's on the level.
Cheers mate!

:rainbowhuh: I have read this on EqD. I have read this here. And SOMEHOW I forgot to Star and Uprate this?

:facehoof: Bad me! Bad, BAD me!

OMFG! So many pony words! how am I suppose to read all this? Y U NO MAKE CHAPTERS?:twilightoops:

also, evil twilight?...
How the hell did you turn her against her friends AND Celestia? guess I'll find out when I read it...

...and one hour later... UPDATE! :ajsmug::pinkiegasp::rainbowwild::raritystarry::twilightsmile::yay:

I can't wait for harmony to be up and able to read!

it is not up yet :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp:

So basically you made a story by stealing my name and making a plot off it? I'm only jokin' :P
But yeah, kind of a coincidence donchya think? Can you do me a favour and change the name? You don't have to, but I'm asking you nicely :twilightsmile:

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