• Member Since 6th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 30th, 2020

An Unimpressive


Ex-EqD pre-reader who doesn't like shipping that much but seems to write a lot of it.

T
Source

Caramel wears a mask to shield everyone from himself. No matter the price that must be paid.

It's better this way.

A companion piece to The Price.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

I don't usually go out of my way to read a fic before something already on my to-read list, but this was really caught my eye.

More specifically, the description caught my eye because it resonates a very somber drum inside my chest, and it caused me to go and read both this and its coupling fiction. I believe the saying that is relevant here is "No Regrets."

This was a beautifully thought-out fiction and perfectly concise, and I sincerely hope this gets featured on EQD / Fimfiction. :twilightsmile:

This piece honestly resonated with me more than The Price, due to my own personal experiences with masks. Wonderfully written and deserving of the star and thumb Vim :twilightsmile:

*hugs a Vimmy*

I won't say it resonates with me (though maybe it does) and I won't resort to the cliché line that we all wear masks (though we probably do), but I will say that this was very heartfelt and I always admire writers who can tell so much story in such a short space.

Now do Soarin' and Mac on the rebound.


:trollestia:

Poignant. I've not seen Caramel taken this way before.

Great story.
You know of course that this requires a third part that has a conclusion for this Big Mac/Caramel relationship. Either a rekindling of their love or the realization that they both killed it by hiding from each other.

2406443
It's too short to hit the featured box, but I'll be sequel posting this to EqD.

2406813
Maybe someday.

2407026
I'm sure you've seen him taken many different ways, dohohoh

This reminds me of countless conversations I've had about masks. I've gotten pretty tired of the topic. Regardless, this was still pretty nice to read -- getting to see the other side of the story, after all.

Dammit, you got me tearing up! Nice fic, it defidently brings back some bad memories, but I suppose that's the point of a sad fic.

I really liked this. Five stars and a thumbs up.

2deep4u

That last line is absolutely exquisite, well done.:pinkiesad2:

This is why I look up to you as a writer.

Hey vim, EQD says this story: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/94615/what-about-her-eyes is your sequel. I think someone derped.

2417791
Oh god damn it.

I'll see about bugging them to change it. Thanks.

*applauds slowly*

Fucking beauftiful

Well thanks alot Vimbert! Now my poor heart is in a thousand pieces! :twilightangry2:

But seriously, great and short read!

This was awesome. I needed a thoughtful story today and this fit the bill perfectly.

There were a few awkward sentences that I stumbled over. "the blue-coated pegasus mare blushing and leaning against me—Wind Whistler, I think her name was—asked." It's a bit long and could probably be altered to roll off the tongue more easily, so to speak.

And this one: The sun flared behind him, glowing red as it slid beneath the horizon also came off as awkward. It reads like a misplaced modifier until the "it." That might just be me though.

In this case, it arrived in the form of my eyelids slamming shut to save my eyes from Princess Celestia’s burning orb behind the object of my desires. Also awkward.

All of that is just nitpicky opinion stuff, though. I really liked this story. :twilightsmile:

Loved it. Poor Caramel. :raritydespair:

Grammer :moustache:
Interesting plot :moustache:
Feels :moustache::moustache:

Sigh.
I wish I could say I never felt like Caramel. But I sometimes do.

A round of applause.:pinkiehappy:

Ugh, that was a stupid comment. I mean, yeah, that's testament to your ability to wring emotions out of your audience and all, but I didn't intend to depress anyone with it. I mean, even further than they should have been after reading the two stories (which I consider two chapters, really). I just kinda, uh, weren't registering how foul it looked. I was in a mood, okay. Apologies to anyone who was affected by it in a negative way.
I guess I just didn't have the courage to first admit how dismal it might have actually been (weren't remembering even the general direction all that well) and next to go and try to fix it. I, um, also might've been half-consciously hoping you'd get all defiant (hell, even spiteful, beggars and choosers) and write an uplifting conclusion to them. I guess if I needed a ray of sunshine that badly I should've went and found some sappy romance fic with an unrealistic happily-ever-after.

So, uh, now to give a more level-headed response.
Both their perspectives felt so vivid, so real it got almost painful upon conclusion of the second one. Too real. Too believable. Okay, brain, stop trying to excuse the original comment.
The point is, or was supposed to be before I went on rambling and dumping too much stuff nobody cares about, at any rate, that it shows in excruciatingly clear-cut detail and accuracy what this shit is to those who'd never be able to understand it well enough otherwise. And for that alone I thank you. Even though my case was different enough for a number of reasons, it is so, so easy to relate, whether one wants it or not.

Anyone reading this: you really need to have read The Price first to get the effect here. That said, I think this is the better story of the two, and Caramel's emotions have a good deal of power. It may be extended flashfic, but it's no less effective for all that.

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