The Last Enemy That Shall Be Destroyed
Her mane and tail swirling above me, the pony who had been controlling my every action burst into laughter. “You? Why, a few moments ago you would have thrown yourself off the balcony at my merest eyeflutter.” My heart stopped as she leaned down to me. “And you liked that, didn’t you?”
I shrunk down, primal fear gripping me. “N-no, I…”
“No, it’s okay, Twilight.” She leaned in further, our muzzles almost touching, as she adopted a strange, soothing tone. “You can be honest here. You need somepony, don’t you? You’re so afraid of being alone, even though you claim to everypony, even yourself, that that’s how you like it.” She sighed, her half-lidded eyes staring deep into me. “You remind me… very much of myself.”
I swallowed, then teleported away from that hypnotic gaze, my watery gaze shaking from a quivering head as panic refused to let go. “I’m nothing… I’m nothing like you, Nightmare Moon.” Had to calm down. Had to just take a stand. “I read about you. You were a pony who was desperate for ponies to appreciate her.” I took a shaky step forward, then another. “So why try to force everypony into loving you? Are you really so desperate for somepony to pay attention to you that you’ll resort to mind control just so someone will give you the love and attention you think you deserve?” Feeling my confidence grow with each word, I advanced on an unsettled Nightmare Moon, my hooves impacting the carpet, each soft step a thunderous exclamation to my words. “And then, when you do finally get someone to give you love and attention, what do you do?” I pointed an accusing hoof in her direction.
Nightmare Moon opened her mouth to speak, trying to offset my verbal barrage, which I noted with grim satisfaction was causing her ears to droop and her ethereal mane and tail to cease their swirling motions. She had even taken a few steps back; clearly, I was hitting a sore spot. “But that’s what—”
“Be quiet, I’m talking!” With a flick of my horn, I summoned a zipper over her mouth and closed it. Her eyes widened with surprise as her mouth worked against the magical bindings, but to no avail. “Now then, let’s examine, shall we? You took a pony who had done nothing to you—namely, me—and bent her to your will, probably scarring her for life.” A strained laugh came from my mouth. “I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to look at Princess Celestia the same way if this voice whispering ‘Mistress’ over and over in my head keeps going.” I zoned out for a moment before my gaze snapped back to the astonished Nightmare Moon, who was now trying to wrench the zipper open with her hooves. “And that is something I’ll never forgive you for. Had you talked to me, to Equestria, and explained to us, to everypony, what the problem was, we probably all could have gotten along! According to what I’ve read, the Equestria of a millennia ago and Equestria today are two very different countries. Why, plenty of ponies stay out all night. Some even sleep during the day.”
Her eyes widened so much that, for a moment, I swore I was looking into two sets of equine eyes at once: one that looked normal superimposed over the Nightmare’s alien set.
“But you didn’t know that, did you? No. You barely even tried to see if anything was different. You just assumed, like a foal, that nothing changes. Well, I’m here to tell you that ponies do change! We would have appreciated your night! We do more than just play in the day! I myself sometimes stay up all night reading a good book, and I love gazing at the stars!”
Again, that feeling of two sets of eyes on me. Were her pupils widening? A moment ago, they had appeared more slitted. Now, they seemed almost as natural and round as my own.
I softened my tone. “We could have avoided all this… all so easily. Why couldn’t you have just tried to talk to us when you came back? Why couldn’t you let the past go? You’ll never move forward if you just let the night continue without end. Please, Nightmare Moon. End this madness.”
She finally unzipped her mouth with a gasp. She stood there, adjusting her jaw for a few moments with a forehoof, as though wiping away imagined blood. Her pupils kept flickering—one moment they’d look more normal, the next more slitted and draconic. After a long period of silence, she spoke, her eyes settling on their more sinister, inequine cast. “You speak of friendship? Of relationships?” She stalked towards me with all the grace of a jungle predator. “What do you know of these things? Only what you’ve read in books.”
She paused, floating over a few tomes from the Princess’ library. With a shock, I realized they were all romance novels: novels I had read as a young filly, filled with fantasies about the heroic mare rescuing stallions in distress… except I hadn’t put myself in the horseshoes of the lady knights. I had always been the one stuck in the tower, waiting for a heroine to rescue me. But it couldn’t have been just any pony.
She tossed the books aside with a snort. “But your head was always filled with a very specific image when reading, wasn’t it?”
I tensed up. She didn’t mean…
She walked around me, her mane brushing me in cruel jest. “You were never the mare coming to the rescue, oh no.” From behind me, the still air broke with a dull pop of her parting lips. “You were always the helpless one in the tower, waiting for your savior with the sparkling, dazzling mane to fly up and enfold you in those wings, those wings you’d longed to feel against your coat ever since you saw her raise the sun. Then she’d gather you up in her magic, so strong and powerful, and gently float you down alongside her, saved from whatever imaginary evil had captured you.”
My heart stopped for a moment, and I turned to spy a playful smile dancing over her face. “How… when… that’s not what I…”
She reached out with her mane, ignoring my flinch, and tapped my forehead. “I did some looking around in there, remember?”
I shivered, wishing I could escape, feeling drained of my earlier confidence. “But I… I mean, those were just silly foalhood fantasies! I’m a grown mare now… I wouldn’t—“
“Do not lie, pet; it does not become you.” She whirled about, fixing me with an intense glare. “I found it odd when you seemed infatuated at first when under my spell, yet your loyalty was incomplete.” She grinned, a toothy maw ready to consume me. “It was all too easy to see that your feelings for Celestia ran deeper than mere loyalty.”
“I…” I swallowed, a dry motion that did nothing to calm my quaking legs. “That’s not how it is a-at all! Clearly, you had just worked your spell without—“
“—without compensating for any interfering factors that caused some mental oddity?” she said, right in step with me, finishing my sentence for me word-for-word.
Was she… still inside my mind?
She laughed. “Oh, very much, pet. Not as strongly, but your thought patterns are all too easy to feel. Denial. Self-delusion. You fear your feelings, so you try to hide them beneath a mask of rationality. Yet behind that mask of yours… is a fragility. You want to be honest with yourself. I just let that out, then let you think I was Celestia with a simple directed illusion. And that was all it took.” Her mane snaked around my neck, creating a familiar feeling of pressure as it took the place of the collar. With horror, I caught myself easing into its comfort. “Am I wrong?”
I said nothing, instead fidgeting in her grasp and staring at the carpet.
“That’s what I thought. I’m curious, pet: just how much would you have let me do to you tonight?” Her horn lit up, and suddenly she looked like a horrible mockery of Celestia, but that damnable armor remained the same. “How far would you have let me go, my faithful student?” she said in a perfect imitation of Celestia’s voice, and she leaned in.
I couldn’t help myself; against that image of Celestia, straight out of the fantasies that I couldn’t bear to admit, yet couldn’t stop dreaming about, I could do nothing. My eyes closed and my lips parted, as I blindly lusted for her to draw closer…
“As I thought,” she proclaimed, pulling away and leaving my face flushed and lips unsatisfied. “Nothing more than a lovesick foal.” She snorted in derision, her face twisting into a decidedly un-Celestia sneer. “A pitiful little hermit pining for a relationship that she knows will never happen, forever saving herself for the impossible. Pathetic.”
“I… I…” My whole body shook, partially in rage and partially in disgust over having been so easily manipulated. I swallowed and slowed my breathing, trying to calm myself. “That’s…”
“No need for words. Just let me inside your head again and you won’t have to feel this way. I can find your happy place… and make sure you stay there.” She smiled, in a dissonant display of serenity. “You have been of great use to me. More than I expected, at least. She moved a bit of her mane under my chin and forced me to look up. “You want to be happy, pet? I can make you happy. I’ve done it before. I can make you believe you’re forever almost falling asleep, with Celestia brushing your mane peacefully, her hoof soothing your every worry and care… would you like that, pet?”
My breath came out in a ragged, staggered burst. My mind wouldn’t move; that image, of me under her care like a filly, stuck in my mind. I shivered, mentally feeling a wing draped over me and a hoof brushing my mane lovingly as the collar of hair settled more tightly and comfortingly on my conflicted form. “I… I…” The words wouldn’t come. What words could there be? Lying was pointless. She knew the truth.
“Too true, pet. I’ll give your mind one thing. It’s… comforting. You know what you want, even if you can’t admit it to yourself: to be more a reflection than a pony.”
My eyes narrowed at that. “You’re one to talk.” Breaking free of my trance, I stomped forward, fresh vigor in me. “You, mistress of the moon—“ Mistress Mistress obey the Mistress “talk about being a reflection? Hah!” I pounced a little, hopping forward to emphasize my point to an amused Nightmare Moon. “Who do you think built the Equestria you’ve seized? Who provides the light your moon reflects?”
A grimace flashed across her face at that, and I pressed the attack. “That’s right! You’re nothing more than a shadow yourself—your moon is nothing without the sun, and you’d be nothing without Princess Celestia! And another—“ I found myself cut off by my mouth being zipped shut by her magic.
“I, nothing without Celestia? I?!” She stomped forward, her mane and tail flickering with wrath. Her eyes glinted like a tiger’s irises from the shadow, and I found myself wishing I could dial my words back a bit. Trying to talk her to death was my best hope, since I’d seen before that a straight fight would only end in delightful misery.
I shook my head, trying to clear it, but she took that as a denial. She grabbed my body with her magic and floated my helpless form to just before her face.
“Foalish pony,” she spat, her voice dripping with venom. “You speak not to the mistress of one tiny satellite orbiting one measly planet, but one who rules all the stars in the skies! What is the sun to me but one more star amidst the legions at my command?” She threw me down with a thud, chuckling in satisfaction when the carpet only partially cushioned the impact. “No, little pony, you are wrong. Celestia would be nothing without me.” She leaned down to speak into one of my flattened ears, as though sharing a dear secret. “She usurped her position after I granted her, out of the kindness of my own benevolent heart, a single star to call her own out of the unlimited hordes at my command. I allowed her her indulgences at first, but when she refused to let the night last just a little longer, I knew I had to take action. Yet she banished me.”
I broke free of the restrictions on my mouth with an almighty gasp. “That’s not how it happened! My books said—“
She clocked me on the muzzle with a swift hoof as her mane tightened further around my neck, forcing my silence. “Your books said. How adorable. Even now, when you are left utterly abandoned, you maintain your blind faith in her. I pity you, pet. All you know is what you are told. And what you were told was a lie.”
I brushed the point of impact, wincing when my hoof only sent a fresh flare of pain. Through a choked neck, I wheezed, “B-but how do I know that you’re not the one lying?”
She smiled, a thing that echoed of a thousand long years of sorrow. “You don’t. For all you know, both of us lie. What is there to gain by telling the truth for either Celestia or myself?”
I sniffled, backing up and bringing myself closer to eye level. I couldn’t stand to be beneath her, not after what I had gone through. “I trust Princess Celestia! She wouldn’t lie to me. All you’re trying to do is confuse me, just the same as you always have!”
“And why such loyalty to Celestia?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but she kept going.
“No, don't speak. I'll answer for you.” She began pacing in front of the door, keeping her eyes on me. Her mane released its hold on me, though the feeling of being collared remained.
I idly wondered where the guards were. For all I knew, she had sent them away to make this more “dramatic.” That would be just like her.
“She raised you. She looked after you. She taught you. She was like a second mother to you.”
With a sudden twinge of sadness, I recalled my parents’ faces, screaming of silent concern when they’d come to see me, even when I was “happy” to hear me tell it. Was that truly me, or was that simply Nightmare Moon’s treachery at work?
“Consider this: if, on that day one thousand years past, I had been the one to triumph instead of that sun-lover, who do you think would be your teacher? Who do you think would be the pony you would look up to?” She paused, letting my brain fill in the horrifying answer, before answering her own question. “Why, me, of course. There's no point in denying it. You looked up to Celestia thanks to her prowess in magic, in leadership, in charisma—everything you wanted from life. You wanted to be respected. You wanted to be powerful.”
Trying to debate someone who had read my mind was a pain in the tail.
“Or at least, that's what you told yourself. For the longest time, you had been a filly without a cutie mark. It didn't bother you, not yet, nothing beyond a vague unease that all foals feel. Yet when you met Celestia and she tamed your power, brought your out-of-control magic under her control without scarcely lifting a feather and offered to make you her subordinate—only then did your cutie mark appear. It's always bothered you, hasn't it? Your cutie mark tells you what you're good at, but gives you no hint of any greater destiny, no hint of any further purpose.”
I stared ahead, focusing on nothing, wanting, willing, begging for something I could contest what she was saying with. Nothing came.
“Would it not be so much easier to just give yourself over to the will of another, take pleasure in helping them achieve their ends, their goals? After all... you were doing no less for Celestia, who was your mistress in spirit if not in fact. What, you foalish little unicorn, have you done with your life other than devoting yourself entirely to her? What have you done other than giving yourself over to her and trusting her completely to direct your life and your energies towards what she felt would be best for you?”
She paused for a moment, inhaling after her violent outburst. She continued at a more moderate pace. “No. I did nothing to change you. This has been who you are the whole time: just a pony longing to have somepony, anypony, decide everything about her life for her. Had things been different, you would have devoted yourself to me of your own free will, simply in the name of doing what you told yourself was trying to follow in the steps of a great pony, when in truth all you wanted was to forever be at that great pony's side, assuming the subordinate position you were born to occupy. You want free will?” She paused, scoffing and looking down at me like a bothersome insect. “You have done an excellent job hiding it.”
“Admiration does not equal subservience, Nightmare Moon. Even a little foal has her heroines; that doesn’t mean she wants to be their doormat.” What she said wasn’t true. There was no way I believed that. There was no way I had happy dreams of spending my whole life as Princess Celestia’s faithful student, forever pushing the boundaries of magic and living my life up in that comfortable, safe tower, wanting for nothing.
She paused, tilting her head for a moment. “Perhaps you are right. But in your case? Not so much, my little pony. You would be Celestia’s pet just as readily as you had made yourself mine.”
“I… I would never…” I stuttered. I blinked, and suddenly she was directly over me.
“Oh, let’s not mince words, pet. You know what you are: just a tool longing to be used. Why, you told me yourself.”
Before I could react, she grabbed me with her magic, and my own proved insufficient to resist her. She held me in place, unmoving, in her aura as her mane snaked from behind her. She said, “I now know what my mistake last time was. I left too much of you in there. After all… what’s the point in altering the mind if I can’t rearrange it how I wish?”
A horrified gasp escaped my mouth, and I started willing, begging for my legs to work, to carry me far away from whatever fate she had in store for me. They refused to comply.
“Oh, don’t be like that, pet. You’ve spent your whole life waiting for a pony to tell you what to do.” As her mane split into two and crawled into my erect ears, she added in a whisper, “Even if you didn’t, you no longer have any choice in the matter.”
Moments later, I could feel her, physically feel her inside me, like a cold shadow that drew all the warmth, all the will, from me, and I felt my thoughts growing more sluggish as she released my bonds. My legs still refused to respond to my mind’s commands, and before long, it became difficult to think. Difficult to even feel. A dull moan escaped my throat, and I felt a thin line of drool run out of my mouth as my jaw went slack.
“Focus, pet. Focus on the sound of my voice,” she said, drawing closer and speaking in a husky tone. A few lights behind her flickered and died, and I could have sworn that the light itself was fading from the—
“Focus only on the sound of my voice.” That voice, like a command from the universe itself, reverberated in my mind. I could do nothing but obey.
“Yes…”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, M-M-M…” Had to say the word. Couldn’t say the word. Had to. Could not. Never would. Must. Never. Wouldn’t lose myself again. Had to just hold on to myself, avoid saying that word and OBEY. Her mane pulsed strongly in my head, and everything grew foggy. “Yes, Mistress,” I said in a toneless voice, rendered helpless by that one primal, beautiful word: OBEY.
“Reach down within yourself, pet. Find that center, that core of your being where ‘you’ cease to exist, and there is only truth. Find that place where you admit what it is that you want: nothing. A place where thought ceases to exist, and there is only obedience and the joy of serving.”
“Emptiness… obedience…”
“Good, pet. Good. Now let yourself be filled—filled with joy of serving. There is no thought. There is no dissension. Merely joy in serving and being used. A place so deep, even your name ceases to exist. Empty yourself, empty yourself so you may be filled.”
“Empty…” I willed, tried to empty myself as She wished. Had to obey. Obeying was good.
“Joy in obedience. Joy in subservience. No happiness save that you get by serving your mistress.”
“Mistress…” I repeated, letting her words sink into that deep part of my mind, letting them reverberate over and over so they could be fully absorbed.
“Now awaken. Awaken, and feel the joy in having been emptied, having been made obedient.”
Her mane exited after one final pulse on “obedient,” and the world swam as balance wobbled.
“Speak your name, pet. Speak what you are, what you are called.”
“Pet is the name. Pet serves the Mistress.” Pet looked at her Mistress and smiled. “Has Pet been good, Mistress?”
She smiled. “Very good. Very good, pet. How deep is your devotion to me?” She leaned back, sweating somewhat. She was tired, exhausted by Her efforts wasted on Pet. Pet felt bad about this; she was to bring joy to her Mistress.
“Pet is sorry. Pet never wished to cause You pain, or effort…” Pet knelt before Her and licked a clump of dirt off her left foreleg, swallowing the taste for Her sake. “Pet only wishes for Mistress to be pleased. Pet has no purpose save what Mistress tell her. Pet will be a good pony. Pet swears.” Pet watched, fascinated, as She bent down, putting Herself on the same level as Pet. What had Pet done to be worthy of such a great honor? “Mistress, is there something Pet can do for you? Pet will do whatever you wish.”
She whispered, Her breath licking my ears, “Throw yourself into the wall. As hard as you can.”
Pet had a purpose! Pet nodded, excited, and stood. “Pet obeys.” Pet backed up to the window overlooking Canterlot, then sprinted as hard as Pet could and jumped into the other wall, ignoring the pain. As stars of agony marred Pet’s vision as she lay on the floor, she asked, “Was… did that please you, Mistress? Pet did her best.”
“Yes, Pet did well. Pet did very well,” She answered from across the room with a giggle.
Joy bloomed within Pet. Pet’s Mistress had praised her! Pet had done well; Pet was a good pony. Pet allowed herself a smile as she recovered from her task. Pet was a good pony. All was right in Pet’s world. Pet was a good pony.
“Now, Pet. Who is your mistress?” She asked, walking over to where Pet lay.
Pet looked at Her flowing mane, kind red eyes, and bright tail, and smiled. Pet knew exactly who she obeyed. “Princess Celestia, Mistress…”
Her eyes flashed with anger as She stomped a hoof, shaking the room. Apparently Pet’s answer had not been good enough. Before Pet’s astonished eyes, Her very form changed to that of a darker, more sinister-looking pony, with a mane and tail of stars and eyes like a dragon’s. “And now? Who do you obey?!”
“Pet obeys… Pet obeys…” Some small spark, a fire that would not go out, kept leaping in the way of the name. Pet frowned, but the spark would not allow her to speak. She coughed, hoping to avoid Her wrath by pretending her throat needed clearing. She, being the perfect pony She was, would see through it, but Pet had never been a bright pony, just one very good at doing what she had been told. “Why, Pet obeys… you, of course,” Pet said, noting with alarm her voice warbling with uncertainty.
That was not good enough. Pet’s Mistress floated her up to eye level and shouted, “Speak my name, Pet! Speak it like the tool, like the foal you are!”
Pet felt something strange happen. In the midst of her perfect emptiness, the spark surged forward, becoming a bonfire filling the void. This was no longer Nothing; it was Something. Something that was not Pet. “My name… my name is…”
“What?” the pony before my eyes boomed.
“My name is Twilight Sparkle!” I screamed, letting the sheer rage that had fueled my resurgence flow through my horn and out toward the pony who could be nothing but the purest embodiment of evil, breaking her grasp on me. To Tartarus with talking. To Tartarus with trying to be nice. Vengeance was all my mind screamed for. She needed to suffer for everything she’d done to me. A beam shot from my horn, aimed straight at her black heart. I would make her pay, or die trying.
Her eyes widened, and she erected a shield, although I noted that my beam strained against it for all it was worth. “Where… where did this strength come from?”
I felt my eyes go white with pure magic as they had a few times before in my life when raw magic had been mine to command, to bend to my will, to use as I saw fit. This—this was my talent.
And it would be my talent, my will, that saved me.
“You’re wrong, Nightmare Moon!” I shouted over the crackling sound of our magics. Cracks appeared in her shield. “I am no one’s slave, no one’s pet: not yours, not Celestia’s, not anypony’s! I am me, and I will cling to what has always made me me.” Something settled on my head, something cold and metallic that came to rest just above my horn, but I scarcely took notice of it. “Magic.”
Nightmare Moon’s eyes shot open with something akin to fear—an emotion I took great pleasure in seeing my tormentor show. “Is that… an Element of Harmony? But… how?”
“And now, Nightmare Moon!” I shouted, feeling even my voice resonate with mana, “You fall!” At last, my beam cracked through her shield, and with a serene smile on my face, I watched my beam burn a perfectly cylindrical hole through her in less than a second.
She sputtered, spitting up blood, as she staggered backwards and through the glass of the window, her eyes rolling back as she fell out the window and down to Canterlot below.
The trance faded, and I fell to my haunches, exhausted, letting out a tremendous exhale, feeling my surge of strength fade. “It’s over… it’s finally over…” I dragged myself to the unbroken window, looking up at the moon, behind which I imagined Princess Celestia captive in the sun. “I did it, Princess. I nearly died, and I’ve caused untold damage to so many ponies’ lives… but I did it. Equestria… Equestria is safe.” My jaw tightened audibly.
“I’ll find a way to get you back, don’t worry. Even if it takes my whole life, I’ll get you back. I swear it. I’ll tear down the sky, I’ll rend the earth and magic itself if I have to… but I will save you.”
I examined the faint reflection of myself in the remnants of the other window, and noted with surprise that some sort of tiara had found its way onto my head, coming to rest just above my horn. Its gold band stretched beyond my head a bit, as though it had been made for a bigger pony. Sapphires were inlaid into the band. Thinly worked gold spidered up from the band to encase a six-pointed amethyst which, upon reflection, reminded me a lot of the center part of my cutie mark. “Now where did you come from?” I whispered. Nightmare Moon had called it “an Element of Harmony,” but I thought she had crushed the Elements right after she…
I put the line of inquiry out of my mind with a horrified shudder. Thinking of a time when seeing that horrible monster had inspired utter devotion probably wasn’t the best idea. I turned to the Princess’ books, now confronted with the monumental task of how to bring her back from the sun. Were the Elements of Harmony the keys to her prison? How would I even know what to do? Oh, if only she’d left some kind of hint or instructions…
“So I could just obey them?” I muttered. This was the downside of free will: sometimes having to tackle a problem on one’s own. Much as I wanted to spit in the face of everything Nightmare Moon had said and more or less proven about me, a “By the way, Twilight, here’s how to release me from the sun and bring light literally back to Equestria after having your psyche broken dozens of times after you make a horrible mistake” list appearing out of the frigid air would have been a welcome sight.
I shivered, feeling a fresh blast of cold night come through the broken window. Somepony would have to fix that later. With a groan, I realized I’d be back to my role as regent—if Equestria would even have me after what I’d done. “Not likely,” I muttered, thinking back to how terrified everypony on the streets of Canterlot had been of me. What horrors had she attributed to my name?
Magic seized me, and I found myself staring at my right forehoof, straining to reach my own face with murderous intent. I couldn’t move a muscle, and it was only through a tremendous force of will that I kept my own hoof from slamming into my face. “Wh-who…” I stammered, unable to believe the easy answer the dark corona of the magic offered. There was no way she could have survived that.
“Miss me?” Nightmare Moon purred as she spun me to face her, my twitching hoof still trying to dig its way into my eye.
My spell had connected; her wing was folded over a bleeding hole in her chest, and her movement was unsteady. Even using her magic to control my body was causing a visible strain; sweat poured down her face, and her mane and tail had lost some of their luster.
“Impossible! That beam should have cut through your heart… if you even have one.” My hoof twitched its way closer to my hapless eye, no matter how much I blinked.
A raspy laugh escaped the wracked pony’s lips. “I’m a goddess, Twilight Sparkle. It takes more than one shot.”
“Yet apparently even ‘goddesses’ bleed. How’s missing parts of some of your favorite organs?” I snapped. Celestia, but I was getting tired of hearing that voice.
She stepped forward, causing a thin trickle of blood to splatter on Princess Celestia’s carpet. A pained wince emanated from her mouth, sounding for all the world like the sweetest music I had ever heard. “Unpleasant. It seems Celestia chose her pawn well.”
I grunted. “Even a pawn can capture a princess in chess, if the player maneuvers correctly.”
“Oh, this was check…” Another wince, which brought far too much pleasure to me, sounded as more of her sloshed out. “But hardly mate, my little pony. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re one of the last pieces on the board for Celestia. All I have to do is take you out of the picture and…”
I tried to light up my horn to summon something, anything, but nothing came. “What? Just going to try to warp my mind for some mockery of acceptance of you again?”
She staggered closer and knocked the tiara off my head with a swipe of a hoof. “Hardly.” She paused, drawing in a few deep breaths, as she swayed on her hooves. “You’ve... proven far too risky for that.” My hoof twitched closer; my eyelashes scraped its underside as I blinked.
“So what? Have me tear my own eyes out? Killing me gains you nothing! I’ll just be a heroine, a martyr to the insurgence,” I bluffed, knowing full well that my death would probably result in celebrations in the streets. Stupid magic making me this nightmare’s right-hoof mare.
“No… I have something for more fun in mind.” A twisted smile alighted on her face as she chuckled. “Bon voyage, Twilight Sparkle…” Her horn lit up with dark, distorted light.
The last thing I saw on Equestria was that grin that spoke volumes on cruelty and delight in the suffering of others—a thin-bladed knife that had just plunged itself into me. Against such a thing, I couldn’t help myself.
I blinked.
When my eyes opened, I thought they hadn’t opened at all: all was dark. I couldn’t see a thing. I hesitantly put a hoof out, trying to feel for something, but met only air: cold, cold air that blew my mane and tail forward at violent speed, seeming to cut through to the bone.
I shivered. Why was it so cold? All the warmth was bleeding out of me, stolen by this oppressive gloom, yet the thought didn’t bother me. Heat did not seem to matter here; I got the feeling not many things did. Wherever here was.
I saw nothing, knew nothing, but heard a great howling, a pitiful wailing that lodged itself inside my head. The howl was unlike any sound I had heard from anything equine or otherwise: it was horrifying, antithetical even, to my very being, yet it seemed to be calling me. If I strained my ears, I could hear a faint “Twilight…” amidst the metallic, alien screeching and wailing.
Drawn by the voice, I took a step, praying that my hoof would meet something solid; I could barely see the strands of my mane that were blowing in front of my face. Thinking became… difficult, my thoughts leaden and slow. Could only focus on the voice, drawing me onwards.
I took a step.
The voice became more calming, soothing, guiding. My eyelids drooped as I felt the by-now familiar sensation of something affecting my brain. Whatever. My defeat was total at this point.
I gave in.
Step.
Without warning, a light surged in front of me, a brilliant doorway that I couldn’t take my eyes off of, nor see beyond. Normally, such light would have blinded me, but this one drew me ever further, almost soothing me just from its radiance.
“Go towards the light, huh?” I paused, feeling the clamor in my mind to go towards that doorway right now growing more insistent. “This one better not be a fake.”
I chuckled, taking no amusement in the joke at my own expense. Fatigue ruled me; moments ago, I had wanted nothing more but to fall asleep, and although the chilled feeling stayed with me, it seemed… further away here. It was still present, but in the back of my mind, noted with as much urgency as my need to buy more quills when I had a chance.
My eyes squinted into the light, trying to discern what lay behind it, but I might as well have tried to see through the sun. A weary sigh escaped me.
I stepped into the light.
I tumbled down onto a hard surface, suddenly overcome by sweltering, present heat. “So hot…” I moaned, feeling my coat start to sizzle.
Hoofsteps, then a stuttered inhalation sounded from above me. “Oh, no. No, Twilight, no… no…” Magic surrounded me in a familiar aura of light and in moments, the heat seemed far away and bearable.
I looked up, to see— “Princess Celestia?”
My teacher stood before me, a haunted look that spoke of her untold years on her face. “Twilight, I… I never meant for this to happen, I…” Tears gathered in her eyes—more emotion than I’d seen her show in… well, ever. In a choked voice, she added, “It wasn’t supposed to end like this.” She walked over to me, her hooves echoing off the black substance we were on.
I scrambled to my hooves. “S-stay back!” Hyperventilation kicked in, and I backed up, noting with alarm the bright corona all around us, barely holding back the empty space beyond and the planet below.
She looked real. She looked real. This place looked real. But how could I trust anything my senses or my brain told me anymore?
“Twilight?” She took another step forward, her hoof coming down as though she were afraid of crushing an ant.
“I-I said stay back!” My breath was coming in short puffs now. “Who are you? What… what do you want from me?”
“Twilight, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but—“
“Well, of course not! Unless you actually do because you’re just another illusion because I can’t trust my brain and who are you?!”
“I’m… I’m your teacher, Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia.” A tear fell from her eye as she took another step. “Have you… forgotten?”
“Oh no, I remember! I remember it all.” Ignoring my suddenly twitching ear, I circled as best as I was able in the solar cage (or what my mind was telling me was a solar cage but then what if Nightmare Moon wants me to think that it’s a fake solar cage oh Celestia) to keep some distance between us. “I just… I can’t be sure what’s real anymore,” I whispered, as my shaking legs failed and I plopped to the ground, or what passed for it here. “I’m just… tired. I’ve been through so much…”
“Oh, Twilight…” With great care, she walked over to my shivering form and offered her wing. “Tell me what happened, Twilight.”
I rolled away from her pleading eyes and ignored the wing, as comforting as it looked. For all I knew, those were the wings of evil, waiting to drag me under once again.
“Twilight?”
No.
“Twilight, please…”
Nopony will ever hurt me again. Sharing myself only brings misery.
“Please, say something,” she whispered.
Without turning to look at her, I stared through the light to the planet below. “I learned something, Princess Celestia. That’s good, right? Learning something?” I chuckled, feeling my body and mind finally starting to catch up to what had happened to me and realizing the breaking point had long since passed.
She lay down beside me, not offering the feathery hug out of deference. Maybe… maybe she was who she appeared to be. Maybe. “What’s that, my faithful student?”
“I learned the meaning of life.” Idly, I noted that the planet below looked dried from this angle.
“Oh?” Her voice was quiet, barely a breath in the stillness of the void.
“Life… is about pain. Suffering. Hurting others… and letting them hurt you. Nothing good ever comes from associating with others.” I paused, considering the bated breath of my mentor. “Before, when I was alone, my life was simple. Read books. Write reports. Send Spike out for supplies.” What had happened to the little guy? With a shake of my head, I realized I’d probably never know. Maybe it was better this way. “Sometimes have to ignore one of the other students. Share a meal with you.
“But at the end of the day, I knew that I was alone. And I was fine with that. I had my space, I had my tasks, I had my purpose. I had all the companionship I needed in you and in Spike. Then… that day came. I was shoved out of my little bubble. To ‘make friends.’”
I laughed: a cracked, high-pitched thing that sliced through the peace like an umbilical cord in the mess of afterbirth. “Make friends. All those ponies were crazy, but I kind of liked them… but what did I get in the end for my troubles? What did I get for caring for them? For caring for you?” I pointed the question straight at her, and she looked away, unable to meet my gaze. “Nothing but pain, Celestia. I was happier as just a student. I didn’t need friends. I didn’t need other ponies. Suffering and misery were all that other ponies had for me.
“I wish you’d never made me leave that tower. The world’s a bad place, princess, and it turns out I was right: I was better off a little lonely.”
She leaned in, softly nuzzling me, her tears falling on my coat as she draped a wing over me. I didn’t resist. “Twilight, please believe me, I never wanted this to happen. Something, somewhere, went horribly wrong. I can’t change the past, but I can try to ease your pain a little. It’s the least I can do. Do you… want me to try?” Her question was soft, hesitant, needing my consent before anything happened.
I nodded, sniffling. Anything to get rid of this horrible feeling of emptiness I couldn’t shake.
As her horn lit up, a curious feeling came over me. A tingle near my spine, then a sudden chill in my head, and without warning, I felt somepony in my head and Mistress Mistress Mistress Mistress Mistress Mistress exist to serve Pet is nothing nothing Pet Pet a Pet has no name just like that, flashes of happily serving, happily licking the hooves of that monster as She… I mean, she… crushed everything I loved came flooding back.
“Stop!” I screamed, flailing out with my forelegs, striking at Celestia, who quickly backed off. “Stop-hu-huh,” I bawled, curling into a tiny ball as tears flowed freely. Revulsion, like some slimy beast, crawled over every bit of my body, sending me into shivers. “Not like that. Not again. Not again. Not again. Won’t let it happen again.” Deep depression—feelings of utter worthlessness and a pervading, persistent sense of being dirty, washed over me. My vision swam before me—how was any of this real? A chill, a numbness set in. Detachment—never feeling anything, that could be my ally.
I was so dirty, so disgusting. “Not real. Not real, not real, I’m a good pony I’m a good pony I’m a good pony…” The emptiness grew, threatening to consume me. If only I could just turn myself off, divorce myself from these emotions that wounded me just like other ponies can’t trust them can’t trust myself had to be cold, empty, distant can’t care about anything make the pain go away even if the magic didn’t mean to reminded me of serve serve serve offer yourself to Her.
“Twilight… do you need me to…” That voice. Too melodic. Too sweet. Too caring. What did it hide?
I glanced up, and there she was: the dark copy of me, wings and all, ready to just corrupt me again. “Stay back! You’re not going to take me again! Never again!” I scrambled to my hooves, panting. “I’ll… I’ll kill you for what you did to me.” More shudders came over me. That tongue in my mouth, probing, changing, betraying, stealing, twisting, corrupting… “I’ll kill you, you hear me?!” I screamed, glaring death at the pony who was out to ruin my life again.
“Twilight, please. Calm down. It’s me: you’re safe!” Her wings flared out as she took a step.
“Safe? Safe?! Is that what you call being alone with you? What are you after this time? Need somepony to lick your guards’ hooves clean?! Somepony to b-b-be your p-p-pet…” Pet Pet be as a Pet to Her “No! I won’t… I’m n-n-not letting you! I refuse!” With a howl of rage, I threw myself at her, striking out with my hooves in every direction.
To my surprise, she stood there, stoically accepting every blow, not even flinching when I started going for her eyes. Tears flowed from her swelling eyes, and she whispered, “I accept my punishment.”
Eventually, my fit of rage ended, and I collapsed, exhausted. Another spasm came over me, and I was back to feeling disgusting again. I’d never be clean again. My vision swam as the dam burst, and my tears flowed freely.
What had I ever done to deserve this?
“I am so sorry, Twilight.” Princess Celestia joined me. One eye was swollen shut.
“Oh no, did I just… oh, Princess, I’m sorry, I didn’t… I couldn’t!” Bawling, I threw myself onto her, letting her sweet coat soak up my tears. “I thought… I thought you were… it was like it was all happening again.” I wrapped my forelegs around her tight, a foal frightened out of her wits again. “It was like I was there and she was going to… to…” I shivered again, heaving as my sorrow spilled itself. “I don’t know if I’ll ever feel clean again.”
Sniffles sounded from the pony I’d appropriated as my giant teddy bear. “This was never supposed to happen… what did I do wrong? What could I have done? Why? Why?”
There, in the center of the sun, we became sisters in sorrow for a very long time.
Eventually, when neither of us had any more tears to shed and we’d simply sat on our tiny platform, locked in a silent embrace, for time beyond counting, I asked, “Princess… What will happen to Equestria?”
A long silence ensued as we gazed at the dark, cold half of the planet. I shivered, the remnants of my panicked hallucination lingering in my mind.
“I… I don’t know, my faithful student.” Her expression was hollow, weighted, lined with a horrible responsibility she could no longer see to. “I don’t know.”
I gazed out into the void at Equestria below, feeling warmed by the feathery wing above me. Princess Celestia ran a gentle hoof through my mane, soothing my fractured nerves.
Still, maybe this wouldn’t be all bad…
An eternity with Her.
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Well that was depressing.
Well I can rest easy knowing that in a year, Discord will break out and kill Nightmare Moon.
Would you please write a short sequel wherein Discord breaks out and kills Nightmare Moon.
1629263
Depressing, yes, but it makes you wonder, too. Is there anything left of Twilight? is Celestia really going to allow Twi to stay this shattered, or will she piece her back together? there's so many questions still, and I love the note Vim left off on.
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Well, buck.
A fantastically depressing ending. I like it. But don't get upset if others don't. There will probably be a few who don't like the ending and others who wish it went on longer. Actually, I would have preferred a longer story but you wrote the ending well enough that I don't mind.
1629336
Thanks. And yes, I'm fully expecting some to be disappointed. As I said previously... "BAD END" was one of the EqD tags for a reason.
well....there goes my happy mood. That was a seriously depressing ending, I am now going to go bleach my brain with the most sickeningly happy "D'awwww" fic I can find.
1629263 that... kind of exists now. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/35393/A-Dream-of-Dawn
1629263 I agree, Well written, but depressing
Well okay then. That's official. The story should be tagged tragedy now. Everypony loses and there is no happy end. The world is just fucked.
Welp, that was depressing.
1629310
Well, I mean, this is pretty much an everypony, and I mean absolutely everypony loses story.
Twilight and Celestia are trapped forever in this plane unless someone figures how to let them out.
Twilight, even though she managed to retain her sense of self, is horribly broken and has been reduced to what Nightmare Moon accused her of being; Celestia's hopeless admirer.
Nightmare Moon is going to enjoy her rule up until Discord breaks out in a year and kills her.
Luna remains an eternal prisoner in her own body forced to watch her own atrocities.
Shining Armor is horribly broken and is now just as much of a pet as Twilight was.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash are dead.
Anypony else out there including Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack will be killed off slowly and painfully as Nightmare Moon slowly reduces the planet to a frozen wasteland.
Anypony who survives that miraculously will become Discord's playthings when he breaks out in a year.
So basically, everyone's completely screwed except for Discord, who gets to rule forever with no one to stop him.
It's like End of Evangelion, except without even a single shred of hope that humanity will live on, as well as the fact that the main character hasn't come to the peak of their character development.
I must say that this ending is something rarely seen on fics here the bad end, I for one enjoyed reading this chapter even if it made me feel so bad for twilight I may or may have not shed a manly tear or two damn no I have to go read something happy or I'll probably be feeling bad for the rest of the night damn you and your impressive writing.
Well then.
And yet another "deep and meaningful' fanfic from someone who desperately needs to chomp a Prozac. At least the suicide hotline can take a breather: apparently all the self-cutters have taken up writing MLP Fanfic instead.
Fail.
1629263
I second the motion. Please. Please please please.
Wow. That was whip-crackingly depressing. I now feel dead inside. Good work, Vimbert.
That ending is just... damn.
Actually, that ending was about the best that could be expected. I was expecting either a Pet ending, or a Banished ending. At least this way, Twi's got her head about as un
ed as it's going to get any time soon, and she and Celestia at least have company. With half the Bearers dead, I wasn't expecting a sunshine and rainbows ending.
Loved the ambiguity about the history, by the way. I was mentally yelling "and who writes the history books, Twi? The victors!"
Strange, that in the sun itself is where it ends in darkness. A fantastic read.
It is high time you consider knocking the 'Un' from your name, noble sir.
I actually like the ending. Good job.
I have to say, I feel... betrayed. This is a fine example of misused tags. A dark story should involve dark elements, which it did, mind rape, murder. But this is a story that goes well beyond dark. Heroes lose and die, and we aren't even shown how they died, its just mentioned off screen.
"Oh hey, Rarity's dead. Twilight. Do you mind escorting me to my death now? Cool!" I, and I am sure others, kept reading because the tags did not indicate this was going to end with the world doomed.
Had you ended with Twilight a broken shell of a pony who somehow managed to find the strength to stand against NMM, I would call this a triumphant dark story. But there is no triumph here. There is only pain, and darkness, for all time.
... Well at least twilight went out with a fight.
The planet is going to freeze. At the end of this, nopony is going to be left except Celestia and Nightmare Moon. Nothing will work itself out to a nice conclusion because everyone will die before that can happen.
Convince me I'm wrong, so I don't have to hate this fic so much, please.
I absolutely loved that ending bittersweet though it was. 1629263 Dude NMM is already dead killed by twilight, so when discord breaks free he'll have Equestria or whats left of it after the griffons pick it over to himself, unless hteir is no Equestria to go back to then he'd just end up board which is a bad thing for chaos. O and I almost forgot to ask hay vimbert will twi age in the sun prison, or will her imprisonment be timeless without age?
1629639 No, go ahead and hate it. TPK. Rocks fall and everypony dies. This is what happens when you turn Twilight into a sex slave, the whole world goes to hell.
1629644
My idea was that she'd be ageless, but I don't suggest anything in the story itself, so believe what you will.
Brilliant my good sir.
Very good indeed...
1629672 Yay thank the creator for at least that.
cheers
Holy hell that was depressing.
This was...
Wow there are no words to describe this.
Just.. Amazing
You know we don't get a lot of fics that end on a dark tone without it going all 'Cupcakes'.
Please understand Vim, I enjoyed reading your story. But this changes the entire path of it. If I wrote a happy shipping story that in the end had both ponies crushed by a falling house, and only tagged that romance... people would be upset. They didn't sign on for that. I was prepared for loss, for death, for the world being left broken and beaten. But you don't deliver that. There is no hope in this ending.
Taken directly from the FAQ on this site.
1629779
Hah, indeed. There's more to horror than plain ol' slasher situations.
Well... this is a true and (i'm sorry to say) quite literal mind-rape for Twilight... I know the good guys don't always win, but that... I wouldn't even wish it upon my worst enemies. I... I wish to thank you for writing this story. I hadn't expected you to follow through with the bad-end, but i'm kind of glad you did... in a realistic (or if i may show a bit of age here... a debbie-downer) way. This story... i'm pretty damn sure just scared the hell out of me, even if it was unintentional. This story, even counting the few horror stories i've read, was the first that has ever invoked that response in me. I'm pretty sure i want to say more, but words are pretty much failing me at this point... and for that i wish to apologize. I will congratulate you though. This is the first 'bad-end' story that will have a place on my hard drive. I'm downloading this story.
I only have one question. Will there be a sequel at any point, ever? I would read it in a heartbeat if there was.
Well, shit.
A brutal but amazing story. Always a treat to read something that involves such a original concept. Hat's off.
Edit: I gotta admit though, reading this right after finding out that Growing Pains is all but canceled sure as hell didn't help my mood heh.
This... reminds me... of Victory Gundam... Everypony dies in a horrible and sad fashon in the end, Are you sure you are not Yoshiyuki Tomino?
Holy hell that was amazing, yet sad. It was amazingly sad.
Any possibility of an epilogue? Maybe show what's happening to everybody else?
Now THIS is how you write a downer ending!
Holy cow...amazing...depressing but amazing...
The author... that's just... fucked-up, in a mind-rape way. It's like reading a version of the Hunger Games, where Peeta stays insane and Katniss stays broken.
Truthfully, I thought Twilight had a chance to kill NM there. That's what I get for thinking...
Very very good job. It's so rare to see a proper dark tragic story that manages to pull off a great ending.
I think Discord's going to break free sooner now that Harmony basically is gone from Equestria so Equestria itself will survive. NMM will actually survive as well. Discord doesn't kill ponies but NMM will suffer, likely even more then any other pony. Discord rules and in a few thousand years Celestia and Twilight finally find a way back to Equestria.
For a story of this length, this is the best possible ending. Without launching into an epic length, could there really be a more memorable end?
I was desperately hoping this wouldn't be a forgetable "talk it out" scene, or worse, a scene in which the elements show up at the last minute to save the day. On the other hand, I was afraid of a meaningless and cliché "main character dies and in the process saves the day" ending.
1630592
Thanks. That sort of sudden reversal cliche was the last thing I wanted to write, and I'm glad folks seem to (largely) appreciate the approach I've taken here.
That last scene with Celestia is heartbreaking.
Great story, even if it's not exactly a pleasant read. I was expecting things to last a little longer, but it feels complete this way.
A horrid, disgusting, somewhat sexually arousing story that I wish I had never read.
But I could not stop reading it.
For that and your skill in writing, you deserve that much honor. That is skill, to make someone who hates what you are writing willing to stick it out to the end, even if they know it's all going to end in misery.
1630740
You should also thank your own sense of perseverance (or perhaps stubbornness, heh) for letting you stick with it.