She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.
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Princess Luna is plagued by a recurring nightmare, a nightmare where she has no power, no means of authority, no means of escape, and with each nightmare, the details of the dream become more and more horrific.
Fearing for her sanity, Princess Luna begins to realise that she has no help to turn to and that she must face this on her own.
Princess Luna becomes trapped in the dreams of an eleven year old girl and neither believes the other is real.
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wait...
what?!?!
nonononononoonononononononononononononononononononononnononononononononononononono...
I know I won't stop reading this...no matter how bad it gets...
Dark indeed, but i don't hate it for being dark... even when the dark stands for basically well... you know what i mean
not the usual work you do but deeper as i see it, in this case Luna doesn't know if she is dreaming or not, or even if she is the dream itself.
will follow to see how this goes
I read the first chapter... I can't really say anything about it.
I'm not going to downvote, nor am I going to upvote it or track...
Dammit, now I have to find something else to read before I go to bed so this wasn't the last thing.
Up to a very interesting start.
This is going to hurt to read. And yet, I find myself morbidly intrigued. I don't know where you're going with this, kudzu, but I will follow along.
“Sister, that thought that frightens me.”
that thought frightens
Love it!
My goodness this is dark. There is a lot of ways you can go with this. It will be interesting to see which path you take.
...why is it always the poor little gingers
5976834
A face without freckles is like a night without stars...
5976842
Well, I guess she earned a new one....luna's soul will make a nice one to add to the little soul stealers collection.
5976860
5976868
What? Everyone knows the only way for a ginger to get a soul is to steal it, freckles are just a convenient way of keeping track....
wereallmadherebookblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/ginger-meme.jpg
...it's the Day walkers you have to look out for! All hail the master race... :P
Im really liking this story. Not becuse of the dark element but because of how its written. Its very dramatic and i want more. I hope this doesnt end up as a forgoten story, swallowed up in the gargantuaness of the chase
5977081
This is a short story. A very short story.
And it must be written. It is plaguing my mind and my muse is flogging me, even now.
It's never easy, is it? And it's not like Maeve's going to know her world's quantum resonance frequency. Still, mysterious are the ways of Pinkies. The human one's advice may be wiser than Luna knows. At least, I hope it is. This seems far from guaranteed to work itself out.
Damn. This IS a dark one. But I understand, the muse's voice must be heard. I'm really curious to see what it has to say,
Curious. For some reason I imagined that it was part of the Chase-verse...but the existence of Crystal Castle means it is not part of the same universe.
Good god, the dream sequence in this chapter was soul crushingly beautiful. The metaphor of love being turned into such a cruel and agonizing thing...wow.
Yep, rape sucks.
Ah, yes. This kind of story is practical. The human mind is easy to break, and love can be a full dedication of one's sanity. That love dies and so does the restrictions. I wonder how this'll escalate. :P
No, Sunset's world isn't exactly our world... now is it? Too much multi-colored skin. I like the innocence flashing with the corruption. It's actually kinda cool. I have to say, this is kind of tame to what I'm use to. Very intriguing though, don't get me wrong. This is worth the read. Just, I think your disclaimer needs to be taken down. If people get offended by this then they've been sheltered for too long.
stepped forwards towards Luna, and and began to examine Luna’s face before she continued speaking.
Luna, and began
Every time I was stuck in situation where I had no control,
in a situation
ready to the face the world and do what needed to be done.
to face the
It's nice to have dark in a story, when it's done right, like this.
Sooo... she's 19th century Irish?
OK I can buy that, Narnia time must be in effect. If that isn't the case, it still adds something to the story.
That dream had been different than all of the dream previous,
dreams
a beak and depressing thought.
bleak
She watched as Spike climbed up into a chair not far from the bed, settle in, and get himself situated.
Eh, not sure what you want to do on this one. from the bed, settle in, and get himself situated.
But your only nice because you’re a dream and I want you to be nice.”
you're
“The dream is still better then being awake though.”
than
I like where this appears to be going.
5977973
I see nothing wrong with the Spike part.
Help?
5977986
Eh, maybe it's just me but it reads funny, when you say out loud.
"She watched as Spike climbed up into a chair not far from the bed, settle in, and get himself situated."
It's the way it uses present tense on settle and get that throws me off, like I said it might be just me.
Like settle should be settled, but then get looks wrong, but changing it to got looks odd too XD
5978045
Might be a southern thing.
Go on, get over there and settle in.
Get in the back of the car and settle!
Did you settle in okay after the move?
5978057
Yeah it's just me, I get it now lol.
Sorry about the false alarm!
This didn't really feel sad, in fact it felt really forced. The little girl especially, it felt like she was just someone pretending to be a little girl and doing a meh job at it.
Even so, I see great potential in your idea's. Keep writing, keep improving man.
light chapter, took me a while to get the time to read this whole things
good way to make all people relax
i find this fic dark yet at the same time i want to read more of it
Hmm, a HiE story. . not sure if want.
Kudzu, I do respect that you made this story. You had an itch to write something, and you wrote it with full knowledge that the subject matter would make others uncomfortable. It's a wonderful and grim story so far, by the way.
5978437
No, this is a pony in the human world...
There is a difference.
5978739
Yes it is technically a Pony On Earth or POE story, my bad.
5978760
Quoth the pony, "Nevermore."
5978830
o.0
5978850
E. A. Poe, The Raven... just in case you didn't get the reference. POE/Poe.
Hm, I'll have to keep reading to see how it goes. I haven't read enough to form an opinion yet.
One thing, though. The girl feels off to me. She acts too young and too naive for her age. I remember being 11, and I have friends of that age. From what I've seen, 11-year-olds don't think of themselves as "little girls" unless they have older siblings that make them feel bad for being young, which doesn't quite make sense in this story.
5979109
So... are you basing this comparison on modern sexually aware little girls that are bombarded with sexual imagery and television and media from a young age, or are you basing this comparison from say, a little girl from the say, 1930s and 1950s America.
Maeve does not come from America, but from another place entirely, but this is a comparable milemarker for her psychological makeup.
Let's look at some clues, shall we? She came to wherever she currently lives on a steam ship. That is not at all modern technology. She is talking about a world war, two depressions, and a world that has just been decimated by a plague. This sounds similar to war era America. WWI came and it brought about a flu pandemic. We had a depression. We had another world war.
These are indicative of the times she lives in.
And then there are the other factors of her time, her era, and her psychological makeup. "Seen and not heard" being one of the big ones.
The girl seems perfectly normal when viewed with the proper perspectives.
She reads because there is no television. She still believes in fairy tales and princesses and fantasy.
Wait wait wait, is that a tear rolling down my cheek? The hell. I was suppose to be the asshole critic who took this fic with a grain of salt, acting like he's lived harder than anything this fic could throw at him. I rehearsed and everything! Fuck! Fuck!!! God... dammit. I remembered something sad because of this damn thing. The hell Kudz...
Oh goodness, Maeve's an Irish immigrant circa 1930. Because she didn't have enough problems.
Still, I can follow Luna's logic here. If she can't control the dream and she's sharing it with someone else, perhaps control over it has been transferred. Maeve's a smart one; she'll probably be able to pick it up quickly if she can bring herself to believe. We'll have to see...
5977920
I would say she born around the early XX. She mention the world war, the spanish flu after it, and heading to the depression... so i would say time is around middle 20s.
0_0
On the one hand, I'd have liked to have seen that first section happen in greater detail. On the other, I'm just glad that this is almost over...
5982350
Short... this story must be short. It must be short and it must end.
I dont think Maeve can be saved.
I mean even if Luna can get her away from her father, the damage is already too deep, not to mention her mother's death too. She will be scarred forever because of what happened. Even if Luna find her (which is near impossible) the town's residents are going to lynch her for accusing something like that from one of their own people.
...
I have no words. What a powerful story.
There was so very little work with.
little to work
It was like opening a book and discovering a whole new language that had never seen before.
never been seen
Lifting one the sugarcubes, Luna placed it in her mouth,
one of the
it should allow the mirror to lock on to wherever it is your going.
you're
and there was a massive claw footed bathtub that could have been found in almost bathroom in Equestria.
almost any bathroom or every.
Loving it! Dark fics are like drugs sometimes. I like the hugbox fics and all but after reading a couple dozen they get old.
I'm like a druggy and you're like my drug dealer
I think he would love to meet luna and feel her wrath