• Member Since 17th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 15th, 2019

kugetsu


Just kicking it in life, and found the fandom of MLP to have such flavor and energy that I figure'ed i'd jump in, via a story or two.

T

Sentinels, while few in number, were the vanguard of humanities final defiance to the demon's onslaught on their world. As the one story ends, another can begin, if one would pick up the pen to write it. Or, if in a final act of defiance on another world just beginning it's turn, someone chucks a rainbow at you. So join Sentinel, who takes the name where his own cannot, as he attempts to navigate the proverbial highway that is his life in the land of Equestria. Expect random adventures, road trips, soul searching, pure and utter confusion and even moments of clarity that can come from growing up without any.






*No gore, rape, or clop.
*Cussing will be kept to story driven excessiveness.
*Romance will be used for conflict, but no active human x pony sexual relationships.
*No "Great evil" overtone. Adventures will be small, and socially inter-connected.
*Sentinel will never, ever, EVER.... get a element of his own, harmony or otherwise.
*Sentinel will never become a Alicorn.


I wish to use this premise to explore relations that could come from such drastically different environmental factors effecting how someone, or somepony, grows up. Equestria is just like the show also. Fun loving and all that jazz, but as with the show, bullying and other social disharmony is going to be shown and highlighted.

Teen or Mature rating? I am still conflicted on this. I am strictly encouraging suggestions or critic on the rating. I was setting it to mature, but after checking out some stories that i've enjoyed here i've noticed they are mostly teen. Pretty much every mature story is about killing ponies with graphic details or very detailed sex/clop. Neither is going to be in this story. So going to shift it to teen for now.

Sex tag: Same as before, for sexual humor and situations, but no clop or graphic sex. At best, its going to be akin to talking the talk, and at worst, insinuated but left at that for the actual act happening. Just isn't what this is going to be about, and if anyone wishes for me to clarify this farther, ask.

Romance: I am entirely still unsure how I wish to approach this. All i can say is there will be no actual active and ongoing physical relationship between Sentinel and a pony as the current premise stands, human in equestria. Some moments, as such things are just going to happen along with emotion induced conflict, sure. However it will be a very slow thing if it goes towards something major, allowable only when certain conditions are met.

Alternate Universe Tag: No Alicorn Twilight, yet. About everything else, within reason to making a fiction based on the mlp fim universe stays. Some oddities that make it impossible to write it as anything but "I went into the TV" will remain out but otherwise the episode history is staying intact. So basically it heads up to the ending of season three then branches off without the final season 3 episodes. MLP in any form does/did not exist in Sentinel's world.

Will Sentinel stay a human? Unsure. If he goes the ponified route, its gonna be one hell of a rough ride and not just a "hey, magic!". Also, due to the possibility of romance actually opening up to something major if this condition is met, it will be much much later. I have no motivation to have him go pony in 2 chapters and snag a element of harmony just cause hes male.

This will also not be a episode to episode thing. The setting will be up until the last few episodes of season 3 and then it just stops. How when or what on when it moves further in canon will depend on several factors.

Also.. Sentinel is not an alicorn, will never be one, will NEVER get wings, and is not as powerful as Celestia or Luna. He is strong, but more of a Earth Pony, with some Point Blank Aura application such as healing and resistance. No long range, no air combat ability, and he is more of a tank than a offensive type fighter. AKA, he is gonna get his ass kicked quite a few times in Equestria, but he won't ever go down without a fight or leaving a scar.

He is proud, but firm, of humanity. This isn't going to be about proving humanity is better than equestria nor is it about proving equestria is better than humanity. Humans are NOT scum. One of the biggest concepts of this fic is consequence of choice, and that will go a very long way in approaching humanity and equestria's differences, and similar social ventures.

Additionally, from the prologue, I want it known that Sentinel is not going to be with any princess, at the time of the prologue, period. No Celestia, no Luna, no Cadance. I am going to maintain and try and even flourish every official relationship, be it romantic, sibling, or parental.


Finally, my form of writing is not for everyone. You are both free and encouraged to voice how you do like it or do not regardless. It will be a progress thing, as I get into the groove of the story myself. I figure i spent more time on the prologue just to get a solid foundation to use for the rest of the story, and is why it is so long for one go.


Finally, there with be some homage to certain media that I've watched, listened, or read. You will find little tidbits here and there, and by no means is it meant as anything but a kick back to the rightful owners.




My little Pony is owned by Hasbro
Hellgate London is owned by... something... now...

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 43 )

4142370 Appreciate the feedback! I've gone ahead and split the prologue into three parts. I'm hoping to have several new chapters up and posted by the end of this week.

awesome can't wait and good luck :)

Appreciate all of the feedback thus far, and Blueblood has some pivotal importance in the next few chapters. I didn't want to use him as just a "bad pony" and drop him, or elevate him somewhere the polar opposite just to do different. I think I found a healthy middle ground that I may just entirely screw up.

smooooth luna. awesome timing for highest comedic effect.:

4190659

Appreciate the feedback on comedy. I'm trying to wrap it in there at good moments while also trying to deal out potentially sad subjects so that it doesn't go too far either way. I think Pinkie is going to be my worst approach, or hardest, to do right.

Again, appreciate the comment. Always needed, either good or bad feedback, to see where you land when writing a story.

YOUR REQUEST FOR DENIAL IS DENIED. :trollestia:
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

4190745 no problem, and for pinkie, just try and be random, have her say things with analogies that we might not expect from her. biggest thing is have fun with it, she always seems like she's a free spirit.... good luck with that:trollestia:

4190889

Yeah i tried a go with the cannon and drag him back screaming. Also when rainbow smacked her head on the table, i snuck in pinkie doing the same next to twilight and giggling. Once I get Sentinel moved towards the ponyville'ish setting I plan to give more attention to each of the mane six.

I just hope i don't screw up the next two chapters. I hope to have them out, and combined they will be bigger than the usual ones, by mid and then end of this coming week.

4190879

Glad you liked it! I think Luna has been the most "fun" pony to try and portray. So much comedy potential with her along with substance to make serious contention/conversation.

... please don't have him turn into a pony, at least not permanently, he is literally the last remnant of a dead world and by sheer definition changing him into a pony permanently would in fact be both genocide and xenocide because it is the destruction of an entire race alien to what they are familiar with. also, couldn't they just make a minor change that would allow him to use magic instead? or allow him to use magic and then his own life force if there was no magic available?
if you do, it's your prerogative but I just think that it's a kind of tired trope and people don't often mention the consequences of it.

4191124

Do not worry about him being changed into a pony anytime soon as I do not see any way to do it as you said without destroying the entire idea behind the character. At least on a on a permanent basis. The Warthog might make some guest appearances.

Chapter 5 was revised, due to how horrible the ending was. It will be up later today so I hope anyone who read the one just titled "Hubris" can feel it improved. I hold out somewhere that It didn't get even worse.

aaaaand.... another lesson in how the interface here works with comments linked to chapters that get deleted and replaced.... <slaps his face>

4202485
Always appreciated RevengeS197. Glad to see some feedback on the older one vs new one. I got in a small rush and submitted when I should of waited. But from the looks of no new thumbs down hits today I guess it went well!

Jesus, this revised ending bro. While the older one was a tad bit more confusing to follow, it was still a pretty good ending. But this, this is a glorious way to revise it!

4206237
Greatly appreciated the comparison between the two! The first ending felt too much about Sentinel just pointing a finger and then giving one. Once I get the next chapter out which will be a bit bigger than this one I also plan to go back to the beginning prologue and rework it in the same sense. I've gotten "into" the story now and I hope it shows, and I plan to go back and put that into the first parts that I fumbled a bit with.

But I want the next part out by this Friday at the latest for those who've suffered with me up to this point. :ajsleepy:

That fucking cliffhanger GOD DAMMIT!

I've gone ahead and posted the chapter revisions for the prologue and chapter 1a and 1b. The other chapters are not being revised but some minor work will be done on a few later. I feel it's an improvement and would greatly appreciate feedback!

I spotted a error at the very top a few paragraphs down:

"I..." Cadance then does her best to steel herself, "I saw oceans like out own. I saw vast woodlands that would make many of our own look sparse. I even saw his kind who seemed to mass in the billions!" She continued as Rarity and Fluttershy nestled up against her sides for support and comfort, "...and I saw absolutely no life." she said in almost a hush, causing the others to think that they misunderstood.

instead of /out its = our
I saw oceans like our own

4230089

Much appreciated and good eye! I am unsure how I missed that but highly appreciate you checking it out. Since you've read the older prologue and first chapter, which I do have saved in case everyone preferred them, how do you think the revisions compare?

4230112 since i had to re-read it it was overall outstanding.

4230331

And for that I am very pleased. I hope you enjoy the next installment going up tomorrow morning.

Well I say! This new Prologue seems a lot more neat and kept together then the previous! It also seems to give off a more " Oh what's this creature? ATTACK IT!" Sort of vibe to me as well.

4230346

Great feedback!

Yes I wanted to go back and take what I felt was a rough introduction and smooth it out. I also felt that I went over the top on some things before, such as violence on ponies, and wanted to smooth that over. Still violence but not like it was, and more meaningful violence to come oh yes! :pinkiehappy:

The "new creature, attack it!" vibe was just what i wanted to put forth. I still want to do something with Celestia in "is still invading" to smooth out her moment, but not take away from it.

Btw the next chapter is pretty much done and coming up in the morning. I want to sleep on it and will give one more proof read before work just to make sure I'm not doing another Chapter 5 : Hubris.

RIP OUT HER FUCKING THROUGH AND USE A BENDY STRAW TO SUCK THE BLOOD OUT.:flutterrage:

4259624

Well any feedback is good feedback!

Going to review the chapter then.

I've added a revision. I don't have any editors or reviewers before I post so I often make several copies that all have something a little different. This chapter was especially difficult due to the nature of it and as such I also feared that I might of made some "too friendly" so to speak.

Let me know how the changes feel!

I enjoyed the darker side of the murals as it represents each of the characters accurately, I just wish there were ones for Celestia and Luna.

I have to say that the way you ended this chapter was beautiful. 10/5

Comment posted by kugetsu deleted May 31st, 2014
Comment posted by kugetsu deleted May 31st, 2014

4444793

Oh they do! Just I couldn't do Celestia's mural without giving away something important nor Luna's which wouldn't make much sense without her sister's. However Luna's mural will be standalone, but rather lacks the context I want it to have without Celestia's also known beforehand. Don't want anyone to think that Luna's is gonna be shadowed by her sister.

4451535
Much appreciated on the props. I was really happy with how that chapter went and sometimes use it as a backdrop to how I'd like others to end, even if at times I know I just can't get them to end on the note i want them to.

finally great chapter by the way:pinkiehappy:

4474576

Appreciate the continued reading RevengeS197. Here's hoping to things flowing well in the next few chapters!

Down rating do to the fact this story has not be updated since in 2014.

"I expect nothing, and neither should you. You will be returned as you were, with no memories of what has taken place from the moment you died until you arrive back. You will not be altered otherwise, nor shall anything be altered for you. There is no impending evil to face, nor some grand scheme by which you must live accordingly for the sake of Equestria. There is only one thing that you need to know, before you return." the equine states.

Finally a story that has no stupid "hidden" plot where the main character has some hidden evil to fight. Good job.

I hate that he is not killing even to defend himself.

Really enjoyed what I got to read. It’s sad to see that this story is most likely dead. Thanks for the awesome read anyways.

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