• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
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kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

T
Source

This story is canon within the Chase-Verse.


Each night that her foalsitter Cadance comes over, filly Twilight Sparkle can hear ghosts in the air vents coming to gobble her up.

The only thing scarier than the ghosts is her father's raised eyebrow.

Edit: Featured! 7/28/14

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 139 )

...I'm sorry I ever doubted you:rainbowlaugh:

I burst out laughing several times and at the end i laughed so hard i cried... I love it...

Also;

Typo? 'She knew was neurosis was'

I had a feeling this was what you were talking about.:rainbowlaugh: Ah well, it's definitely better than *Shudder* Cheesy.

Oh the mental trama. Lol :rainbowlaugh:

Such abuse. Twilight's parents should be ashamed.

Twilight Sparkle clutched Smarty Pants close to her as she hid under her brother’s bed.

forgot a word

Edit: Hahahahaha, the story had one thumb up when I opened it and 17 after I gave it one.

I almost pissed myself laughing when twily found shining's pony porn.

“SQUISH! SQUELCH! SQUISH! HUUUUNF!”

Twilight could only assume that the ghosts had crawled out of muddy graves. She could hear wet squelching sounds tonight, and filly Twilight Sparkle shivered. She hated mud. Mud came from outside and there was nothing worse than outside. She just knew that the ghosts knew exactly what it took to scare her. Muddy ghosts had to be the very worst sort of ghost there was.

:pinkiesick:

totally though twi was gonna walk in and the ghosts were gonna be real and attack her, like the noises where gonna be the ghost eating cadences and shinings soles ur something.

I had the same problem too when I was just a little boy. I even saw the ghosts up close, but they didn't look like the ghosts on Scooby Doo. They wear tall and they looked like they had skin, but it was all white. My mommy told me they were Albino, but I knew the truth. They were ghosts.

*eye twitching*

...but...

*mouth twitching*

....what...

*body trembling*

...pills, need pills...

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4916692
WE NEED AN EARTH PONY MEDIC, NOW!

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**airlifts in Aloe and Lotus via a pegasus airdrop**

That should do it.

4916729 :derpyderp1: I was thinking Bon-Bon and Berry, but hey, you da author.
~TOOWC

4916729 Ooooohhh, that´s good....yeah, right there...a little more to the right....:twilightsmile:

Ok fanartists, I wanna see if your interpretation of the looks Twilight's Mom and Dad and/or Shining had on their faces at Twilight's last line are as funny as I imagine them! :rainbowlaugh:

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Night Light never fully recovered from the sprained eyebrow.

I did not laugh a little bit. I laughed a lot! Thank you, I too have been feeling down.

This was quite silly , muddy ghosts got a genuine laugh out of me :pinkiehappy:

Ha!

So, this is canon in the Chase-verse, is it? I'll have to remember that during the next question time!

I'm also imagining a filly Twilight Sparkle writing letters to the editors of those magazines, letting them know that they seem to be using vegetables in incorrect ways.

YOU MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight's character is perfect. Adorable, innocent, hilarious, and basically spot-on. Loved the bits about the muddy ghosts, the neurosis, and the raised eyebrows and everything. (how raised eyebrows are like the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING! :raritycry:) And the repetition about Twilight wanting to be a good filly. It's all perfect.

You've really done an excellent job with this. You made my day so much better. This story is just so funny, so adorable, and so well-executed. The bit where Twilight found Shining's magazines also made me choke on my drink. I spent a considerable amount of time spluttering and laughing after. (only to look back up at the screen, and start the whole thing over again) That means you did a great job. Thanks for the laughs!

(Basically this is really well-written, congrats on a job well done! Hope you're feeling better, take care! I'm here if you ever happen to need someone. :twilightsmile:)

Fun little story. You got a laugh from me.

Oh nooooooo, not the eyebrow :fluttershbad: :fluttercry: :fluttershyouch: :fluttershysad:

would have loved to see there reactions, but hey, it did the job. :rainbowlaugh:

I did enjoy the story but honestly both Night Light and Velvet are useless in this fic. Most good parents will at least investigate. If something is scaring your child into being awake all night then you should at least look into it. I would have been suspicious as to the fact that the whole "Ghost" incidents only happened when I was gone and my son and baby sitter were left home.

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But Twilight has been telling them about ghosts, monsters in her closet, the thing under her bed, the ancient evil that lurks in the fountain in the back garden, the monster that has lived in Shining's room for as long as she can remember, and she can occasionally hear it groaning when she walks by, and the terrible horrible no good monster that occasionally showers in the upstairs bathroom, grunting and groaning and taking up all the hot water.

By now, ghosts are on the selective edit list.

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Also, this is the filly that grows up and begins spouting nonsense about the mare in the moon returning. Pfffth!

Twilight Sparkle = Chicken Little.

Moral of the story: Even in the best cases, Canterlot unicorns are horrible parents. Or they were, before a certain scion of Sombra.

But yeah, this one definitely made me laugh. Well done, kudzu. :twilightsmile:

You know, this episode alongside with Canterlot Marriage, where trust issues are presented against Twilight, tag along very well ! Again, in her life, those that she loves most does not believe in what she says.

kudzu, you could explore that in the future arc...Twilight trying to figure out her DEEP trust issues...sorry, Twilight fans, i love her too, but broken Twilight stories are the best !

Oh man, this was the best, I can't stop laughing :rainbowlaugh:

This was not funny. This was showing Twilight's parents as horrible horrible ponies. If your daughter comes to you with a story of being scared of ghosts and is clearly terrified so badly enough as to be unable to sleep, you do something about it! Maybe you ask Shining Armour to go and check on her during the night while you're away, or even invest in anti-spirit wards.

They would not just ignore her. These are the same parents in the Chase-verse who upon finding out what portion of their income came from House Avarice strip-mining the Shetlands dissolved House Evening Star rather than continue.

This doesn't make me want to laugh, it makes me want to hurt somebody for child abuse.

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Read through the comments. :twilightoops:

Twilight has a history of exclamations and hey, look what happened during Canterlot Wedding. Nobody believed her then either.

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Also, human standards vs unicorn standards.

Unicorn neurosis and the manifestation of a mischievous streak common in unicorn foals. The need to create trouble.

Doesn't excuse them for not taking her seriously, but it does explain how they might overlook such exclamations such as "Ghosts!"

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These are parents whose both children ran to boarding schools (the guard academy and the school for gifted unicorns) before reaching their teens.
They are the parents whose one daughter grew up to be such a socially-awkward recluse (psychotically terrified of failing/disappointing her superiors too) she needed a princess missive to find some friends.
They are the parents who got background role positions in Twilight's childhood memories. She loves her foalsitter and her big brother, but the parents get only cold, neutral factual mentions.
These are the parents who weren't there when Twilight got decorated in a ceremony for defeating Discord. Nor ever visited her in Ponyville. They did show up to Twilight's coronation, but she didn't even spare them a glance.

So, yeah, I'd say all signs in canon point to them being quite terrible parents.

4917877 Most parents would say there is no such thing as ghosts and think the kid was watching/reading too many scary stuff. So, they would take these sources away. And they did, actually. They took away her library card... so they actually did do something about it.

OH MY GOD. i was panicking when i read the blog and now im in stitches, that was hilarious.

i wanna see what happens to candance and shining

4917943 Except in magical pony land, ghosts can exist. We have Windigos, evil non-corporeal spirits of evil, not to mention the Nightmare that posessed Luna and Rarity.

Also, what really burns my biscuits is that this is treated as funny rather than tragic if true. Shadenfraude is one type of humour that disgusts me.

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Unicorn parents carefully ward their homes against pests. Rats, mice, earth ponies, the poor, lice, fleas, weevils, earth ponies, centipedes, and evil spirits just incase their neighbors and rivals try anything funny.

These houses are old and they are well defended.

Stepping outside of your house though, look out, an earth pony might punt you in the groin.

Even though I knew what was going on as soon as I read the synopsis, I couldn't leave this one alone alone.

This is hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

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Unicorn parents carefully ward their homes against pests. Rats, mice, earth ponies, the poor, lice, fleas, weevils, earth ponies, centipedes, and evil spirits just incase their neighbors and rivals try anything funny.

You mentioned earth ponies twice but the poor only once, and isn't that redundant anyway?


:rainbowlaugh:

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Well, there are those vile wretches that are type ones and type twos.

You know, the unicorns that were born to be servants.

4918070 Yes, what you say is true. I actually didn't think of that. However, keep in mind this is a fanfic and maybe ghosts actually don't exist.
And why would this be treated as a tragedy? I understand it's not to be taken as funny (from your POV) but why a tragedy?

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Well, somebody got the reference.

That was no wrestling match, Twilight. :rainbowlaugh:

4918276 Repetition of a term to draw attention to the subject's intense ire/dislike of a particular something is a standard literary comedic device.

It's also used in standup, television, and movie comedies frequently.

4918070 But are those examples truly ghosts? A ghost is the spirit of a deceased formerly-living live person who is now dead and moribund and soforth.

The windigoes and other such things are more akin to demons or sprites, in that their current form is the only one they've ever possessed.

Or perhaps they arose from non-living sources imbued with a spiritual essence, similar to the Japanese tsukumogami, whice are abandoned/ignored man-made objects that obtain a spirit after 100 years.

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