She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.
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An older, wiser Trixie Lulamoon just so happens to have a somewhat above average student named Sumac Apple, whom she takes to meet with Twilight Sparkle, as Twilight is holding a contest, looking for the best and brightest students.
Sumac Apple just so happens to have a Horrendous Hypothesis that will not only change the lives of himself and Trixie, but holds an ominous warning for all of Equestria.
An entry in the Weedverse.
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Already liking this story alot. Seems like its going to be a nice, slow, and thoughtful slice-of-life. But then again, with kudz at the helm and the drama tag in the label, fasten your seat-belts, we are in for a bumpy ride :P .
Interesting beginning. Trixie as a mentor. Nice use of her.
This... this is going to be an interesting ride.
Also interesting that it starts on
ChristmasHearth's Warming (if not in-story.) Edit: Well, close enough. I didn't see it until today.hi hi
Did I miss something? What is this question that leads to all the unintended consequences?
6766295
He asks Twilight a question. Twilight will be entering the story later.
Obviously, the question hasn't happened yet.
Love it!
6766310 A new, HORRIBLE question!
I'm curious which way this story will go. There are far too few interesting trixie stories out there who doesn't devolve into Twixie.
Looking forward to it.
replaced
remove the comma in the middle
remove the comma in the middle
remove the comma in the middle
I like it, I like it a lot. Everything feels weighty and nostalgic, bittersweet, but no less precious because of it. I can't help but find myself invested in these characters, in Trixie and Sumac, I want things to go well for them. This story is exceptionally good at sucking you into it's pace and making you empathize with it's characters, so much so that it's almost disturbingly easy to imagine yourself in Sumac's place at times. I look forward to seeing what happens to these characters even as I dread that very same thing.
6769286
Oxford commas!
I love Trixie's reflexions and comments. You have given her older self a lot of character development from the younger canon version.
6769290
Don't think so. An Oxford comma is the optional one that goes before 'and' when you are listing things.
The comma after the C is an Oxford comma.
6769385
Hmm, I seem to recall that it was an optional comma included before and when there were multiple parts to a sentence.
6769393 It depends on where you want to pause in the story, so long as you don't have a run-on (though there is some leeway). In other words, what you did was fine.
6769393 I now dub this a Kudzu comma.
It's intriguing. We have a much older, and wiser (and humbler) Trixie. I'm curious what happened to her, was it 'life' or was it Sumac or was it both? (and no, I'm not wanting a prequel - although having a glimpse within The Weed would amusing.) And where are we going with this, hrm? Is this a story about Trixie or a story about Sumac? These are the questions that are running through my mind right now that we are (theoretically?) about 1/5 of the way through the story. I am content to wait and see where it goes.
Personally, I think I want a happy ending of sometype, but with you writing it, 'happy' and 'ending' could mean anything. So, I'll just wait.
And I am wondering why/how the colt is named 'Sumac'. It wouldn't surprise me if you've got some underlying intent here for his name as well. And I should clarify that when I hear 'Sumac', I think 'Poison Sumac' (sorry, can't help it - I hate that stuff).
Oh, and as for commas... just wing it. if it reads reasonable to you in your head, just run with it. There will always be at least one english manual somewhere that will agree with you and and at least one that will disagree with you - therefore, who cares?!
6769754
Sumac Apple
So named for his parents, Flam Apple and Belladonna. Belladonna is poisonous, very much so. Sumac was named by his parents because he was a major source of irritation for them. (But this is not mentioned in the story.) Sumac is part of the reason they got caught. He slowed them down.
6769393 Either that or the word for getting rid of that is called a "comma splice".
Edit: According to wikipedia- "A comma splice is the use of a comma to join two independent clauses. For example: It is nearly half past five, we cannot reach town before dark. Although acceptable in some languages and compulsory in others (e.g., Bulgarian or French), comma splices are usually considered style errors in English."
6769779
Sumac is an Apple? I´m surprised AJ didn´t protest about Trixie adopting him.
6769847
We'll actually be meeting Applejack in this story. Soon!
This is actually a really good story, fantastic even. and I do NOT make that claim lightly.
just started reading this. Saying that it is well done is rather like gilding a lillie considering who the author is. the take on Trixie is like finding a story about Blueblood where he reforms. up vote and followed.
So, Twilight finally grown over her naivety and became a trickster like her teacher? good
AJ keeps talking about how Sumac´s parents "were". Are they reformed... or dead?
6778669
In prison for the rest of their lives, never to breathe free air ever again.
6778680
For scamming on a town?!
Then I imagine the Flim Flam brothers got the death penalty.
6778736
One of the parents was Flam
6778736
Flam Apple and Belladonna. If you've read The Weed, you would know that Flim and Flam are already hard at work, trying to create a criminal empire.
The swing!
And the miss!
It was close, though. Better luck next time, Trixie and Sumac's relationship.
6779011
Who said that's a miss? The story isn't done yet.
6779018
I expect there to be more pitches!
Heck, I wasn't even caught up on the last chapter when I sent it.
You already proved with The Chase that you recognize the "I take care of you, but I don't consider myself anything but your friend" relationship as being an at least unsatisfying one. I expect this to pay off later. Until then I will make snide comments! It's a win-win!
Pity that Twilight asked them to stay closer to the castle.
Perhaps later they can stay on Sweet Apple Acres.
This older version of Trixie you've painted in this story is a magnificent one. You have my adoration
On the one hoof part of me thinks that Applejack and Twilight would be less happy about Trixe's Guardianship of Sumac if they knew just how often Sumac was almost eaten by monsters. On the other hoof the Cutie Mark Crusaders probably almost died just as many if not more times in their own shenanigans without AJ or Twi shutting them down.
Maybe, having evolved from a herding prey species ponies are just more blase about the prospect of a violent death than humans are?
6780205
Trixie is highly motivated to keep Sumac alive. Also, the road is a dangerous place, as The Weed, the companion piece to this story shows.
Sumac has been learning different lessons than most foals. He's canny, he's far braver than he gives himself credit for, and he's been in a few crisis situations. The common foal living in the middle of a big city is never going to have the wonderful experience of almost being eaten by timber wolves.
I are content with this chapter.
Still amused with this story.
I'm going to assume that Maud gave birth to Pebble. That must have been a fun labor.
"Ow."
"I'm sorry, Maud!"
"You did this to me," she said in a deadpan voice.
"Keep breathing!" Teapot screamed, his eyes flaring.
"Ow."
etc.
add 'and' between 'head gave'
sight
quote end period -> comma
Maud's gonna be so happy her little Filly found a Colt who thinks she is weird.
HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah!
Hehehe this is great. Thanks Kudzu.
Mares, amirite?
Is... is Pebble aware of her Freudian jealousy of her parents' relationship? Reading too much psychology indeed.
Whoa. The Weed is going to really really exciting if that is a spoiler for the series.
I'm really starting to adore Sumac and Mom!Trixie. Poor kid got his face washed... in PUBLIC!
Ah, young love. Ain't it grand?
Is this story a squeal to anything, because the references to Flam and Sumac's mom seem way out of perportion, even what you briefly described through the scam doesn't seem at all adequate of their treatment? Applejack comes off kinda rude just blurting that out to their son which they've basically never met, and the story about almost deciding to keep him seemed way too sudden and with no motivation. Trixie's past actions where by far worse than just a simple get rich quick scheme yet she gets to walk around freely without anyone mentioning it, yet Flam's deeds where so horrible that his son would be blame for his fathers actions. That just doesn't seem right just coming from the shows's story.
6790716
Applejack, in this instance, was being honest. Blurting stuff out and holding nothing back.
Yes, this is part of a larger series of stories, but those aren't entirely necessary to enjoy it. Not everything is written yet.
6789101
Lyf ofishall lee over.
WHAT SHALL TEH HYPOTHESIS BE!?
IS IT ALICORNS!? IS IT CHIBIS! WHAT!?