Chapter 10
The morning seemed… strained somehow. Sumac could not tell what was wrong, but something was wrong. Trixie had been quiet—distant even—and what should have been a joyful moment of celebration felt more like a funeral. Sumac didn’t like it, not at all. He started to wonder if perhaps he had done something wrong. Perhaps Trixie was counting on a different outcome. Some of the foals who had participated had received sums of money, a handsome payment in bits. Maybe Trixie needed bits. Maybe he had done too well. Maybe, just maybe, he was going to have to pay for his schooling and Trixie had no means to pay for it and she was trying to find some way of letting him down gently.
“Sumac, kiddo, we have to have a talk,” Trixie said.
The bedroom fell silent, a painful, wretched silence. The room, small by most ponies’ standards, was palatial for Sumac and Trixie. It was a guest room in Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle. It was so much larger than the wagon that Sumac had been beside himself.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Sumac asked.
Trixie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You always were a bit too smart for your own good, kiddo.” Trixie opened her eyes and looked at Sumac. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out how to do this. Sumac, kiddo… there is no nice way to say this, but it is time that we part ways—”
“What? Why… what did I do wrong?” Sumac felt some invisible force tightening around his barrel, making it difficult to breathe. He looked at Trixie, feeling hurt and betrayed. What had he done?
“Sumac, you have the chance to do something with your life. You can be somepony. Life on the road ain’t going to do you no good. I’m not going to let you waste your potential.” Trixie cleared her throat and shook her head. “I’ve already spoken to Applejack. While you were building a wagon with Big Mac, I talked with Applejack about her taking you in if you managed to get yourself into school. She agreed.”
“No…” Sumac shook his head and gave Trixie a pleading look. “No, please… I wanna stay with you—”
“Kiddo, don’t be an idiot.” Trixie’s eyes narrowed from anger. “Sometimes, you have to do what is best for somepony you care about. Applejack can give you what you need… things I can’t give you. You need to be in school. You’re smart Sumac, real smart.”
“Don’t leave me… please, don’t leave me… you promised!” Stumbling over his own hooves, Sumac went to Trixie, his eyes wide and pleading.
Hanging her head, Trixie sighed. “I know I did.” She blinked away a few tears and then continued, “I’m real sorry about that. Sumac, you mean so much to me… which is why I have to do what is right for you. You are going to have a wonderful life—”
“I don’t want it!” Sumac shrieked, his voice high pitched, reedy with fear, panic, and anger. “I just want you… if you leave me, I’ll run away and follow you… I’ll—”
“Sumac, don’t throw your life away like I have,” Trixie said as she sat down upon the floor and pulled Sumac into her embrace. “I’ve made so many mistakes… and now I’m paying for them. I’m finally doing the right thing. I’m thinking about your needs rather than my own. I have to do what is best for you.”
Confused, angry, hurt, Sumac kicked and struggled against Trixie’s embrace. He didn’t want to be hugged right now. He was furious, betrayed, he wanted to smash things, to break things, he hadn’t had a temper tantrum in a long time, but one was on its way, he could feel it.
He saw a blue foreleg in his vision—Trixie’s foreleg, and in that moment, he wanted Trixie to hurt just like he was hurting. He opened his mouth wide, baring his teeth, and clamped down on Trixie’s foreleg, just above her fetlock, biting her.
There was an ear piercing scream from Trixie, who let go of him at once. Sumac stumbled away, tasting blood in his mouth, feeling sick to his stomach, feeling guilty, ashamed, and angry, oh so very angry.
“I hate you!” Sumac screeched.
“So that’s how it is then.” Trixie lowered her head as she stood up. “I deserve that, I do. I suppose it’s time to go. Sumac, I’m so sorry… I wish things had turned out differently.” Trixie looked down at the blood trickling down her foreleg, sighed, shook her head, blinked away a few tears, and then looked at Sumac. “You’re going to have a good life, Sumac. The Apples are going to give you a better life than I ever could. As bad as this seems right now, you’ll forget all about this when you’re happy. Goodbye Sumac, and good luck.”
Gritting her teeth together, Trixie headed for the door, fat tears rolling down her cheeks and splashing on the floor, her ears twitching and jerking with each of Sumac’s sobs. At this moment, she hated herself more than any moment previous in her life—this was even worse than the alicorn amulet.
As Trixie neared the door, it opened.
“Going somewhere?” Twilight Sparkle pushed her way into the room, her face stern, serious, and a little sad. Twilight Sparkle sidestepped to allow others to enter as well. Behind her was a whole parade of ponies.
Applejack came through the door, followed by her brother, Big Mac. After Big Mac, Maud entered, and with Maud came Tarnished Teapot, who kicked the door shut behind him. The four ponies stood in front of the door, making it impossible to escape. Trixie began to back away.
It was Maud that broke away from the group, crossed the room, and went to Sumac, who was still sobbing his eyes out. The earth pony mare sat down, reached out with her foreleg, and with a firm jerk, pulled Sumac to her so she could give him a much needed hug.
“Trixie Lulamoon, consider this an intervention. You ain’t going nowhere,” Applejack said in a hard voice. “I ain’t about to let you make the single biggest mistake of your life.”
Sumac wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Maud was hugging him, and it felt nice. He sat with her, his head resting against her barrel, hiccuping as he tried to stop sobbing. Twilight Sparkle was tying a bandage around Trixie’s leg. Sumac, consumed by guilt, could hardly stand to even look at Trixie. He felt awful for what he had done during his tantrum. He felt Maud stroke the side of his face and he pushed himself against her, feeling the smooth fabric of her smock against his other cheek.
“Trixie, we all knew that you’d try to do this,” Tarnished Teapot said as he looked at Trixie, watching as Twilight finished up with the bandage. “Just like last time we tried to help you. You just… ran off.”
“The wagon ain’t even finished yet.” Applejack pushed her hat back on her head and stared at Trixie with narrowed eyes. “Consarnit, Big Mac put a lot of work in on it so far. And you were just going to leave. We can’t just let you run away from your problems.”
“Eenope.” Big Mac stood directly in front of the door, a living immoveable wall.
“Trixie Lulamoon, you have to stay. You have to face your past. You have to stop running away. This is not a problem you can run from. Sumac needs you. A colt needs his mother.” Twilight lifted her head, her eyes narrowed, and she glared down at Trixie, her eyes glittering with emotion.
Trixie felt her lower lip quivering. Her ears perked when she heard a gasp and a bit of a sob from Sumac. More than anything right now, she wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor and cease to exist. “Twilight, I’m not his mother. I’m just his guardian. I’m trying to do what is best for him. I can’t give him what he needs… or what he deserves. I’m trying to put his needs ahead of my own.”
“HORSEAPPLES!” Applejack spat. “That’s a load and a half of horseapples!”
Twilight’s eyebrow arched. “Applejack—”
“No, Twi, I ain’t lettin’ her get away with sayin’ that load o’ malarky!” Applejack stomped her hoof down. “Trixie, that’s a load of horseapples and we both know it… you’re just trying to skedaddle and you’re using that as a noble excuse! Yeah, I get it, you did some bad things. Yeah, you messed with all of Ponyville when you had the alicorn amulet. You made some mistakes. It’s time you faced up to them. It’s time that you started acting like the mother that Sumac deserves, you hoodwinkin’, hornswaggling, slick talking, tinker pony!”
“Whoa, was that necessary?” Tarnish asked.
“Yes!” Applejack stomped her hoof again, and then again for good measure.
“How do I take care of Sumac?” Trixie shook her head. “After what I did, nopony will hire me. I have no future here… I can’t give Sumac the sort of life that you can.”
“Good news, Trixie… there is an opening for librarian assistant trainee.” Twilight leveled her steely gaze upon Trixie, daring her to be defiant. “And if Sumac wishes to attend school elsewhere, I know ponies. I will get you a job. I’m a princess… when I put my hoof down, things happen.”
“Sumac, what is it that you want?” Maud asked as she gave the foal she was holding a squeeze. “Do you want Trixie to stay and be your mother? You have a say in this, you know. I know you are angry and upset right now, but what do you want?”
Sumac, shuddering, wiped his nose with his foreleg, hiccuped, and looked over at Trixie. He was still angry, he was confused. He blinked, his vision blurry with tears. Maud was warm and soothing against him. Trixie was his best friend. His guardian. His protector. But mother… he thought of all of the years of travel together. All of her affection. All of her care. He thought of her journals, the ones he had read.
“Trixie Lulamoon, we’ve been trying to help you for a long, long time. My family tried to help you when you stayed on the rock farm. Tarnish and I tried to help you when we rescued you from the diamond dogs. Twilight has been trying to help you for a long, long time.” Maud turned her sleepy stare upon Trixie and her ears pitched forwards. “No more running. You have a reason to stay and make things work.”
“I’m sorry, kiddo.” Trixie felt her lower lip quivering and she fought to keep whatever was left of her composure. “What do I do? How do I make this right?”
“Don’t go,” Sumac begged.
“Do you want Trixie to be your mother?” Twilight asked.
Lifting his head, Sumac looked around the room. His gaze fell upon Big Mac first. He realised that he and Big Mac’s eyes were the same shade of green. The big pony’s eyes were full of pain and Sumac tried to understand why—what was Big Mac thinking? Staring, hoping for some means of assurance, no matter how silent, Sumac came to understand that this decision was up to him.
He looked at Applejack, who still looked a bit angry. As he gazed at her, her expression softened a bit and she danced from her right hooves to her left hooves, shifting her weight back and forth. He felt a little confused. Applejack was family. She had some affection for him, maybe even loved him, even though he really didn’t know her. But she didn’t want him. Sumac didn’t understand.
“I made an awful mistake,” Trixie said, squeezing her eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, everypony… I really am.” Trixie’s ears drooped. “Kiddo, can you give me another chance?”
Sumac squirmed free of Maud’s embrace, almost stumbled, felt himself being pushed back into balance by Maud’s hoof, and then he made his way to Trixie as he felt every eye in the room watching him.
“Will you be my mother?” Sumac asked.
“Kiddo, after what I just tried to do, are you sure you want me to be?” Trixie replied.
“I bit you.” Sumac’s ears drooped in shame.
“I deserved that.” Trixie looked away from Sumac as tears rolled down the curve of her cheeks, hung from her jaw, and then fell to the floor. “I love you so much… I didn’t mean for this to happen this way, honest… you deserve a better life than some creaky old wagon and some washed up showpony.” Lifting her unbandaged foreleg, Trixie scrubbed at her eyes and sniffled.
“I don’t care what sort of life I have… I just want you,” Sumac said in a low, choked whisper. “You’re my best friend. If you go, I want to be with you… I don’t care what happens to me, I just want to be with you.”
“Sumac, you need to care about your future… you don’t want to end up like me.”
“Trixie… you can have a future here… and you can give Sumac the sort of future he deserves. We’ll help you. We just want to be your friend.” Twilight Sparkle lowered her head down and looked at Sumac. “Sumac, I’ll ask you again, do you want Trixie to be your mother? You’re old enough to answer this. I need to hear it from you.”
“Do you want me?” Sumac asked, moving closer to Trixie.
Shuddering, shivering, Trixie stared up at the ceiling. “When I first started to look after you, you annoyed me. You cried a lot. You were needy. You wanted things. You had to be entertained. But mostly, you cried a lot, you were annoying, and there were moments that I was certain that I had made a mistake. But you were worth a few extra bits and so I stuck it out.”
Sitting there, Sumac remained silent.
“Over time, something changed. When you cried, instead of being annoyed, instead of being angry, I got worried. It scared me when you cried. I didn’t want to make it stop because it was annoying me, I wanted to make it stop because you were hurting and I couldn’t deal with that.” Trixie lowered her head and looked down at Sumac. “And then there was your talking… you wouldn’t shut up. You talked my ears off, kiddo. That changed too. Your constant talking used to drive me up a wall… but then, then came a time when I went nuts if I didn’t hear your voice, like if you went off and hid on me, and refused to come out or say anything.”
Trixie looked into Sumac’s eyes. “Kiddo, I just want you to be happy, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness.”
Kicking out with his hind legs, Sumac launched himself forwards into Trixie and clung to her, feeling very conflicted, confused, happy, and sad. He felt her embrace him and he was magically transported to his safe, happy place. He felt a little better. He buried his face against her barrel.
“Can you forgive me?” Trixie asked.
“Will you be my mother?” Sumac replied.
“Are we quibbling over price?”
Sumac had to take a moment to think about it. Trixie had taught him a lot about bargaining and getting the best deal for what few bits they had. There had been many, many lessons on this subject. He heard Trixie sigh.
“If you can give me a chance, I can be your mother,” Trixie whispered.
“Just don’t go and I’ll forgive you. You don’t even have to be my mom. Just don’t leave me,” Sumac said in a pleading voice, feeling more than a little embarrassed by the number of ponies in the room witnessing this exchange.
Knowing there was no running from this, Trixie accepted defeat. “I will stay if you will have me. I’ll take that job. I don’t know how I’ll face the ponies of Ponyville, but I guess I’ll manage somehow. I don’t know where I’ll live and I don’t know how this will work out, but I’ll try.”
“I think we’re good here.” Applejack heaved a sigh and looked around. “You know, I think these two need some private time alone. We should make ourselves scarce, if’n you catch my drift.”
“Eeyup.”
“This would be a happy ending, but I just know that there is going to be paperwork.” Tarnished Teapot winced and shook his head. “Always with the paperwork.”
“Trixie… as of this moment, you are no longer Sumac Apple’s guardian pro tempore. There is some paperwork to sort out, but we’ll get to that later. Good thing my mother just so happened to be here to help out… she is the current acting head of the Foal Services and she can finalise any and all paperwork right away—”
“You… you!” Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “You planned this!”
Twilight smiled. “But this wasn’t my plan.” She looked at Applejack, who looked very, very smug and pleased with herself.
“I can be clever.” The corners of Applejack’s mouth curled upwards. “We Apples look after our own.” Applejack prodded Twilight. “We should go.”
“Thank you, Applejack,” Trixie said to the smug looking earth pony mare.
“Like I said, we Apples look after our own… Sumac Apple’s mother.” Applejack gave Trixie a wink and then headed for the door. “Outtathaway, Big Mac, you big goon. It’s dusty in here and I need to get out before my eyes start a waterin’ something awful.”
“What happens next?” Sumac asked as Big Mac shuffled out of the way.
“Paperwork,” Tarnish replied, laughing just a little.
“But first, I just want to hold you for a while, Sumac.” Trixie squeezed the colt in her forelegs and pressed her snoot down against his ear. Her foreleg throbbed where she had been bit, but there were things deep inside that hurt far worse. She understood that she had almost made a terrible mistake.
As the ponies left one by one, Trixie closed her eyes and let out a shuddering sigh, feeling thankful for once for having friends, and she made a promise to herself that she would make this work somehow, for both her sake and for Sumac’s. She owed him that.
That's a wrap, folks.
We're done. But don't you worry or fret, this story will continue. 
Sumac's story will continue in Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals.
I'd love to hear what you think.
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The ending of this whole story.....
www-tc.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/classic/images/classic_icon_fb.jpg
6833649
If that's the case, there's either a ton of other magic users out there in their universe, or perhaps unicorns claim a lot more magic than they're actually capable of using. I'd figure a universal constant to be... well, massive beyond reasoning. Like, you said land is finite - that's true, but ALL the land on ALL of the planets there are is still far too great for a few million unicorns to use up, if I'm making any sense? It was my thinking that magic would be... bigger, if it was a constant, and not something just being generated from somewhere in or on their planet. Like the Tree of Harmony.
6833967
There are other magical creatures as well. Earth ponies use magic and so do pegasi. They all draw from the same source. Unicorns are just more connected.
Ah. Now I see what's truly using up all the magic. Clearly it's the feels. The feels are pure, concentrated magic, and here we are just burning through them.
All I could think when Trixie was starting to leave was "but, but why?"
Glad you didn't let her bow out like that.
6833977
Ah, so there's one source of general magic, rather than just the magic that unicorns draw on to cast spells. In that case, that makes more sense - pretty much everything in Equestria is magical in some way. Even the other creatures, Diamond Dogs have to be magical, griffons can cloud-walk so they have to be magical, Iron Will's tie HAS to be magic because somehow he looks dressed while wearing it.
6833967
Well... I sorta imagine that a unicorn only has access to the magic in the immediate vicinity (In the land metaphor: the universe has an unfathomable amount of land, but... they haven't invented space travel yet), though, and/or there isn't a mechanism to make magic "flow" from everywhere else in the universe to fill in the gaps. Or the magic doesn't flow faster than the depletion rate, or that magic pools around the planet and it's being depleted.
But the idea that the magic "pools" around the planet is functionally similar to the idea that the planet generates it, isn't it?
Aww. no more? Bummer.
Well it was a great story but I wonder where you were going with the whole unicorn thing. Should you ever plan a sequel please let me know! I loved this story and what a happy ending!
Trixie was Surmac's mother in all but name already so that resolution wasn't unexpected. It's still well-executed, though.
There's a funy imagening of the apparent contradiction in Maud's semingly deadpan expression while lovingly hugging Surmac.
And Trixie being worried about being received in Ponyville? Someone should tell her how Discord has been visiting Ponyville every now and then.
Now on thoughts about the story as a whole: The story was great, and worked to introduce a nice but very intelligent pony.
Shouldwhen you write a sequel, please don't give him a great secret ancestry or whatever.This fic seems to be set decades after the events of Magic Duel; I found strange Trixie would still feel as bad as she felt about that. Not story-breaking in spite of (or maybe because of) being a plot point. It was obvious from the start Surmac and Trixie need each other.
I still stand for what I said some chapters ago, the only fault I find in the story isn't in the story itself: the "that leads to unintended consequences and raises worrisome concerns for the future of unicorns all around the world"[1] part of the story's long description misleads, because it creates false expectations about what this story is telling. This story is about Surmac's wait to the audience with Twilight, not to its aftermath. I think it's better without it.
[1] spoilered just in case you remove it.
It was a good ride, have a thumbs-up. I'll wait for the sequel.
6834006
The simple truth of the matter is, the residents of Ponyville aren't too bothered by Trixie. She just needs an excuse to keep running, even if it is an imagined excuse.
6833991
Rather than a wellspring, more of a conductor... yeah. I can dig it. That actually makes a lot of sense through attenuation principles.
6834006
Sumac is exactly as he made out to be. He is an Apple, the offspring of Flam Apple and Belladonna. He is an Apple through and through, no more, no less. His hypothesis is his claim to fame, and other than his above average intelligence, he is about as plain as a brown paper wrapper.
The sequel will be about adjustment. Going from a life of roaming the roads to living in one place, trying to adapt, and to fit in. And maybe, just maybe, confronting some of his own past. i dunno yet, I'm still shuffling my notes around as I create a framework to the story.
That ending... It was beautifully done. The whole magical shortage though has me hooked and I can't wait to read more.
6833977 So... Next step of the plan is to introduce more magic into the metaphorical well?
Okay Pones!
Here's the equation for nukes.
E=mc^2
Have fun!
6834047
And regarding the "magic is fading away" plot? What options do the unicorns have? Birth control?
Sniff. Darned hay fever.
I think I would have liked this story more if I went into with the right expectations. The title of the story and the description seem to indicate this story is an Idea type story where we'll focus on the "horrendous hypothesis" and the implications there of. The problem is that this story is a character story where we focus on Sumac and the hypothesis is so minor to the story that it doesn't show up until chapter 9 and the true consequences of it are never explored (I'd argue the description lies as it says that The hypothesis leads to "unintended consequences" but there are absolutely zero of those in this story. There's just the ones one would expect which are character based ones rather than idea based).
I think the story is probably ok or well done but I'd have to go back and reread it with the full understanding that this is a story that has nothing to do with the hypothesis other than it's a McGuffin that lets him into the school and impresses Twilight. He could have broken the code of an ancient translation about Celestia's secret ancient lover for all the effect it would have on this plot. And that's what leads me to my current reaction to the story. I just feel disappointed because I came in hoping to explore this idea (which seems really interesting tbh) but what I got was something different that I'd probably interested in if I was in a different mood with different expectations.
I quite enjoyed that ending. Trixie trying to keep doing the same stupid and having to be forced into seeing what the right choice truly was...
Looking forward to seeing what else happens.
6834118
Ah, but there is some subtle trickery upon my part. There are consequences.
Because of Sumac's question, because of his presentation, he was accepted into school. Trixie Lulamoon, because of Sumac's Horrendous Hypothesis, has been forced into facing her past. She very nearly walked away from Sumac. So yes, there are consequences, just as I had stated. I just let people assume that the consequences would be about other things.
This story is as the title suggests. Trixie Lulamoon and a Horrendous Hypothesis, and said hypothesis really, really borked up her current lifestyle.
6834118
I think the Hypothesis is so Horrendous is that it basically states Unicorns are basically being born with little to no magic ability worth mentioning, outside a few notable exceptions and that nature or destiny, in an attempt to fix it, has potentially started creating heavily specialized Unicorns to fill that void. One of them being Tarnished Teapot, which as was seen in the Weed, ponies rather see him locked, away, dissected or studied, or just plain gotten rid of. Think of how much panic it will cause when ponies learned that even more like him might start popping up.
6834135 Ah, well that makes sense. I'm definitely interested to see what happens next.
6834140 It's a huge revelation for the world at large, sure, but the problem is that for this story's scope that's a footnote at best.
6834135
But getting into the school was an intended consequence. As for the things involving Trixie, it's not the hypothesis that's the catalyst. Unless I've misunderstood the characters, no matter what Sumac came up with as an idea of way to get in, the events would be the same. I don't see how changing the hypothesis to anything else, like the slightly hyperbolic translation of ancient text example, would affect the story one bit.
6834140
And Filraen highlighted my point. My problem isn't that the hypothesis isn't "horrendous" it has more to do with story structure where the hypothesis has such a minor connection with the story when I expected this story to be entirely about it. I expected the story, based on the description, to introduce the hypothesis and then we'd see the consequences of that. This is a character piece that you could replace the "horrendous hypothesis" with anything at least slightly shocking. Imagine the discovery that shows that all ponies can trace their lineage to Princess Luna and Celestia or some other thing. The implications of the hypothesis are not explored in this story and no "unintended consequences" exist from its reveal. The only consequences are that Sumac made it into the school, which leads to Trixie trying to leave and Twilight and friends preventing her. I don't see why this series of events would be different no matter how Sumac reached the initial event of getting into the school.
6834135
People have been complaining, but I don't think anyone has provided a solution. I think "unintended consequence" would be better as "unexpected consequence", because amiamera pointed out that getting into the school was the intention but I would say it was not really expected. And "horrendous hypothesis" could be "confounding question", because it introduces a double meaning to the title; it still refers to Sumac's hypothesis, but it can also be seen as referring to questioning Trixie and Sumac's relationship to each other.
6834047
Good enough for me.
6835018
I am hoping that you appreciated Applejack's role in all of this. As it was hinted at in the very beginning, when Sumac arrived in Ponyville, Applejack had this planned all along. She was clever.
Great story I was fascinated the whole way through, everything you ever described or mentioned actually added to the overall story unlike some other authors who think just writing a lot makes a story better. However I'd have to agree with a few people's comments, the description is just a tad misleading, I would've read it anyway. Also Trixie's and Sumac's resolution in the end is kinda anti-climactic. The story detailed their relationship so uniquely and it just kinda ended on the Princess Twilight solves everything , cliche. Also I'm a bit confused about Trixie and Applejack in the last chapter, Trixie mentions her talking to Applejack about leaving Sumac in her care, but then Applejack is the main objector to her leaving. Did Applejack just have a change of heart or was Trixie lying about making an agreement with Applejack and was just leaving Sumac to fend for himself?
Spike's absence in later chapters concerned me, is he off smoking this Weed everyone's been talking about?
LOVED IT!!! And so glad it's official.
I can't wait for the sequel, but will Twilight's school include non-unicorn foals? It seems like it would, all things considered.
6835077
Applejack just went along with Trixie as Trixie talked and nodded her head at the appropriate moments. If you were careful in reading in the beginning, it is hinted at that Applejack and Twilight have been plotting together.
So, to recap, Applejack knew that Trixie was planning to split, hence the intervention.
6835058
It was. Thanks for that.
Better than neat.
6834870
That is actually a very clever solution. I wish I could have thought of it :P
I loved this. Glad to see it continue.
This was really good, I enjoyed Sumac a lot.
Loved this story can't wait for the sequal. keep up the good work!
Wow, that went downhill fast.
Thank you, AJ.
The bad news is you'd be working for Spike as the assistant's assistant, but nothing's perfect.
There we go. Plus, it gets Trixie off the road and out from in front of that wagon, and from the sound of things that's needed.
Hah!
Sounds like fun.
Really like how this turned out, it was a cute story. Can't wait to see how twilights school turns out.
I like the description's rewording as it doesn't give any focus to the hypothesis' aftermath. Thanks!
6871308
Sumac hasn't been around a lot of other foals though. He's been socialised around adults, which is a key point in this story. He acts like an adult, mimicking their behaviours. The entire point is, he doesn't act like a foal. That's the intention. He acts like a little adult because that is all that he has been exposed to during his life on the road. He doesn't have a sense of normalcy.
He's also intelligent... as such, that makes him a bit precocious.
He hasn't spent the entirety of his foalhood playing tag, or playing with other foals, or even playing with toys. He doesn't have any. He's either walking to a new destination, studying, or helping Trixie make money. That's it. That is the extent of his foalhood. He doesn't have any friends his own age. He has no playmates. He doesn't have a well developed sense of fun.
In the sequel I'm planning, we'll see that developing as he tries to learn from others... and fails.
Ch5
Sumac let go another another sigh as Trixie went into the wagon.
go of another
Ch7
“We’ll, we do have copies of the modern day unicorn census here in the library,
"Well, I think, might just be me but it reads wierd.
Ch10
You have to face your past. You have stop running away.
have to stop
I wasn't expecting this when I started reading, was just expecting a stand alone story. I'm glad I read it otherwise I would have missed out on some important stuff
Loved every bit of it and looking forward to the story it leads up to!
6847946 *Rainbow Dash objects!* This colt was obviously a Death Eater spreading Lord Sombramort's propaganda!
I know many Mudbloods (unicorns who had a Mudpony parent) who are just as magical as Pureblood Horn Heads!
Sheesh, such racists! Glad us Pegasi aren't like that!
Uh... what was that bit in the middle? About Big Macs eyes being full of pain, same green as Sumac's? Did I miss something? That either is an insignificant detail, or a very major implication...
7018987
Look at the rest of the chapter... it's obvious why Mac was in pain.
But I always thought half-unicorns could reach Super Aliconiyan much faster than pure bloods!
Or did that only apply to filthy monkeys?
Argh! So much hay fever!
While it was a good chapter, I like the outcome, and the beginning, but the inbetween intervention was just, off. I couldn't really get emotion from all of it.
And yes, always with the paperwork.
wow i was not expecting this
How to solve the problem: eugenics!
CLEANSE THE INFERIORS FROM THE POPULATION!!!
It worked great in Germany!
7060239
This story is a character introduction for a much larger body of work. It's more than the hypothesis presented, but understanding the character who presented it. Understanding who he is and why he does what he does. It also lays the foundation for the next story in the series, which is important.
If I did nothing but present the final chapter and hypothesis, people would bitch and complain that no time was spent on the main character, getting to know him, his motivations, or understanding him as a character. People are bound to complain either way, because that is what people do; they tear others down as a hobby.
Damn good story