• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


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T
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Miss Harshwhinny offers to be a substitute relationship counselor in Ponyville for a day. She knows a thing or two about judging, and counseling is basically the same thing, so what could possibly go wrong?


For Estee's TEMPorary Insanity contest


Now with a reading by ObabScribbler, AShadowOfCygnus, et al.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 77 )

and then Ambrosia happened to mention

That she had suddenly invaded a conversation between Aphrodite and Harshwhinny.

In other news, this was funny.

7679147

That she had suddenly invaded a conversation between Aphrodite and Harshwhinny.

My excuse is that I'm concurrently writing a story with Ambrosia in it (which hopefully will be published tomorrow)

In other news, this was funny.

Thanks!

"Yeah?"

I lost it. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm also suddenly much more interested in whatever Fleur and Fancy were up to later that evening.

Yes, now that's the way to end a story.

I believe we have entered pyrovision.

The boomerang joke about Rainbow Dash being a stallion cracked me up. :rainbowlaugh:

Just like a hero leaving victoriously, you never look back at the explosions.

What could go wrong.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Im going to need a bigger ship.

I love the smell of success in the morning, smells like, burning horsehair.

No, no, and thrice no. There will be No Enter The Dragon remake.:pinkiecrazy:

She's ruined!

“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

You know who and from where.

7679172

I lost it. :rainbowlaugh:

:pinkiehappy:

I'm also suddenly much more interested in whatever Fleur and Fancy were up to later that evening

I can't tell you that in a T-rated story. :derpytongue:

7679173

Yes, now that's the way to end a story.

Miss Harshwhinny never got her comeuppance.

7679200

I laughed at the end.

:heart:

7679370

I believe we have entered pyrovision.

Which is like normal vision, but on fire, right?

7679445

The boomerang joke about Rainbow Dash being a stallion cracked me up. :rainbowlaugh:

Her voice, and stallion-like mannerisms--who wouldn't make that mistake? I mean,besides anyone who actually knew her.

7679470
Just like a hero leaving victoriously, you never look back at the explosions.
Exactly!

7679706
I love the smell of success in the morning, smells like, burning horsehair.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/1/313541/full.jpeg

7679877

She's ruined!

Who?

7679888

You know who and from where.

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/03/26/article-1165026-041B2B09000005DC-212_468x355.jpg

That was a fun read. :rainbowlaugh:

“Do you like a pony who’s brash and daring and strong and fast?”

“YEAH!”

“And how do you feel about stallions?”

I lost it riiiight here.

This was an excellent read.

7680117

That was a fun read. :rainbowlaugh:

:heart:

7680349

I lost it riiiight here.

:pinkiehappy:

This was an excellent read.

Thanks!

The sad thing is that, from what I've seen, a large number of fans would probably be in total agreement with Miss Harshwhinny here.

7681179
About which couple? Or all of them?

7681199

More the general mentality of "These two characters aren't exactly the same? Obviously they can never be together - break 'em up, stick 'em with whoever's closest to identical to 'em, done, NEXT SHIP!"

7681246
Well, to be fair Rarijack's a hard one to justify. Then again, I've sort of shipped Rarity and Pinkie Pie, so I don't really have any room to talk.

7681279

Hey, hard to justify, shmard to... shmustify (?), that just makes the ships interesting. Plus, on the scale of shipping weirdness, Rarijack and Raripie are small potatoes. And that weirdness is by no means a bad thing - I've seen ships you ponies wouldn't believe. Attacked ships on fire off the shoulder of... wait...

Sorry, got a bit lost, there. Point is: weird and non-obvious ships all the way!

7681328

"I've seen ships you ponies wouldn't believe."

Cracklemac?

7681533

"I've seen ships you ponies wouldn't believe."
Cracklemac?

Wasn't there one where the treebrary was shipped with Rarity's boutique?

7681328

Sorry, got a bit lost, there. Point is: weird and non-obvious ships all the way!

One of my favorites that I run with is Cherry Berry and Comet Tail. It's not odd, per se; it's just obscure.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/10/22/747877/full.png
They look so happy together

You wrote Ms. Harswhinny excellently. Great funny little story. :ajsmug:

's great. Poor Ponyville!

7701212

's great. Poor Ponyville!

Possibly the worst disaster in town since the parasprites.

7716098 probably. At least with the parasprites they had a scapegoat. This time nobody will figure it out. :eeyup:

7716113
In a way, they did it to themselves.

And in another way, it's totally Harshwhinny's fault.

7716144 we blame Aphrodite. What's worse, missed appointments or destroyed relationships? :derpyderp1:

7716181

we blame Aphrodite. What's worse, missed appointments or destroyed relationships?

Aphrodite's too cute to blame. Just sayin'.
img05.deviantart.net/cafc/i/2016/063/5/2/aphrodite__godess_of_love_by_alasou-d9twgp7.png

7716216 exactly! It's one of those slap-on-the-hooves things.

To be fair to Ms. Harshwhinney, Ponyville being on fire could have happened due to an uncountable number of scenarios that had nothing to do with her relationship advice. This is, after all, Ponyville. :pinkiecrazy:

7754795

To be fair to Ms. Harshwhinney, Ponyville being on fire could have happened due to an uncountable number of scenarios that had nothing to do with her relationship advice. This is, after all, Ponyville.

Oh, totally. Might have nothing to do with her destroying every relationship she touched; there are hundreds of other reasons why the town could be on fire, after all. Mostly involving the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

This was what I expected. Take that as you will, Biscuit.

Thae that as you will.

7804353

This was what I expected. Take that as you will, Biscuit.

I should hope it was what everyone expected. Harshwhinny is not so good with matters of the heart.

I don't know why this is tagged comedy. I think she nailed it.

And so did you.:pinkiehappy:

8010961

I don't know why this is tagged comedy. I think she nailed it.

:heart:

And all that was left was Fluttershy tending to a bonsai tree.

8014702

And all that was left was Fluttershy tending to a bonsai tree.

I'm having flashbacks to some other story. Probably one of Skirts'.

8019342 I was thinking of one by Regidar, actually.

8019384
Oh, that is the one I was thinking of, too. For some reason I thought it was Skirts who wrote it.

It was terribly, terribly, obvious, especially given the way that Fleur was draped across the couch, practically oozing into the cushions, while Fancy Pants was polishing his monocle in a somewhat depraved manner, and Miss Harshwhinny's face went through twelve steps of incredulity before she mustered up the willpower to speak again.

s4.storage.akamai.coub.com/get/b39/p/coub/simple/cw_timeline_pic/8224c4642d5/a6b32c5875b80b1bd8ea2/big_1409268082_1382458936_image.jpg

I'm going to Taco Bell. Anyone want anything?

I think Ms. Harshwhinny did fairly well, all concerned. I mean, imagine any of the Mane 6 (or just about any of the regular characters) as relationship counselors*. By comparison, Ponyville burning is scarcely noteworthy!

*Except for Granny Smith... Maybe.

8304571
Really, anypony who tries to do relationship counseling in Ponyville is probably gonna have a bad time.

8304638
That sounds about right. At the very least, a relationship requires both parties to be both honest and sane... And Twilight got it right when she declared, "Everypony in this town is crazy!" It really is no wonder that Applejack is still single, now that I think about it.

:ajbemused: <I'm honest enough to admit I'm sometimes crazy.)
:pinkiehappy: <I'm crazy enough to sometimes think I'm honest.)
...
:ajsmug: <Eh... Close enough.)

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