• Member Since 8th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen January 15th

Sharp Spark

Nothing says I miss you quite like war poetry carved in your door with a stanley knife.


Rarity and Rainbow Dash aren't exactly close. After all, they're very different ponies with very little in common. Or so Rainbow Dash thought.

A trip to Canterlot reveals that Rarity isn't exactly the pony that Dash thinks she is.

3rd place winner of The Writeoff Association's December competition, "Behind Closed Doors"

Art by Yoka-the-Changeling, Edited by Exuno

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 185 )

So much fun!

And kicking, too. Can't forget the kicking. :raritywink: :rainbowderp:


This was an amazing story, and I love it! (But you've already seen me gush about it elsewhere.)

HINT: for anyone who checks out comments before deciding whether or not to read a story, read this one now. It's fantastic, and got me to follow this author.

Exuno #3 · Dec 16th, 2014 · · 10 ·

This would be featured by now if you had tagged it [Romance], just saying.

Eh, RariDash isn't exactly one of the big ships that people go to, like TwiDash or OctaScratch. I doubt it would have caused this to get any more views or likes.

Uhm the moral of the story is?

Punching is awesome!

Alternatively, something boring about learning more about the people around you and not dismissing them based on assumptions. But mostly the punching thing. Or "No one cares about Thunderlane," that's also a good one.

I'm still surprised you went with my joke title on this. I probably shouldn't be, considering how you normally go about naming your stuff, but there we go.

Congrats again on 3rd place. You definitely need to remember to bug me to join in on the next one considering the amount of fun I had just watching your reactions.

Strengthening your relationship by beating the evershitting fuck out of each other is the real magic of friendship!

This was pretty fantastic, but I still have trouble seeing Rarity keep up with Dash in a fight. Still great though.:rainbowwild: :raritywink:

This story is a VERY interesting prospect, something I haven't seen during my time here. You took a natural point of contention between two ponies, Rarities fashion sense and Rainbow's Tomfillyness, and pushed it just slightly. It is not a stretch of the imagination to see the friction between the two (even if it is nothing more than a simple 'I just don't understand what you like').

Then you threw in the twist, Rarity a prize fighter and good enough to be a 'Queen' of the ring now that is something new. In fact the new respect that Rainbow has for Rarity is evident. Even if this isn't a true RariDash ship, and it doesn't have to be, its still a unique and interesting story that can be expanded upon and I would love to see a sequel.

Comment posted by Skeeter The Lurker deleted Dec 17th, 2014

very nice story, i rather enjoy this one a lot, thump up

It's as fun to read this here as it was in the writeoff. :twilightsmile:

TGM #15 · Dec 17th, 2014 · · 2 ·

I didn't like this story.

Why, exactly?

I only have one question.

Rainbow paused right there in the middle of the path, threw her head up towards the sky, and groaned.

“Should tooootally pal around and go shopping and be besties? Save it, Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “She’s your friend, not mine.”

Why on earth is Rainbow being so ooc and such a complete bitch to Rarity?


Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. This is one of those… You're embarrassed to be around me, aren’t you?”

Why is she upset about Rarity not wanting to spend time with her? Was she not just complaining about Rarity going to Canterlot with her in the first place?

I can see the end result you were going for, friends that may seem to like different things may have more in common than they thought, but the means you used to get there is just...bleagh. Rainbow acted completely ooc to reach that conclusion. :ajbemused:

Just not my cup of tea. sorry.

I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure if this story went through the typical vetting process that most stories submitted to the library go through, it would fail.

Rainbow Dash is OOC as hell. She's acting whiny and being a complete jerk to Rarity in the beginning despite the fact that she isn't like that to Rarity on the show. The worst part of it is her somehow being offended and assuming that Rarity doesn't want to be seen with her in public, when Rarity didn't say anything to that effect. The entire conflict in the beginning is about as forced and contrived as you can get. Stories are constantly rejected from the library due to OOC issues and having a conflict that doesn't really make sense.

No rhyme or reason is given when it comes to Rarity regularly going to a fight club. There's no talk between Dash and Rarity after the fight either. No offense to the author and sorry if this sounds overly harsh, but it seems like the only reason anyone likes this is for the concept of Rarity and Rainbow beating the fuck out of each other as a way of bonding as oppose to the actual story's execution of said idea.

If this is the type of story that gets shoved to the front of the line and put right into the library, then the library's standards have fallen.

Well, this was a weirdly fascinating One Minute Melee. Now, when you come back with a story that doesn't need RD to only be a bitch, make sense, and try to explain a single reasoning behind anything, especially Rarity, I might like it. As it is though, this is an excuse to get two ponies to fight and nothing else. If you wrote shameless clop as well, I would not be surprised.


I'll be honest. I have no idea what to say to this, none whatsoever.

At least, nothing outside of "I liked it" that would in any way make sense. I will say, however, that I took into consideration the fact that it took 3rd in the write off and several people who have much higher and better standards than I when I decided to add it.

And honestly, no one else seems to be having an issue with Dash being OOC. Indeed, I find it forgivable enough. But, as I can prove by my actions now, no one is perfect.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Majin Syeekoh

5391706 You do realize that appealing to authority is a really weak excuse, right?

The story should be added or rejected on its own merits, not because people who have better standards liked it.

5391706 Skeeter, even if you defended it with all of that, let me ask you something. Is this a story? Is this a story beyond an excuse to get two people to fight? Should a high quality library of fanfiction allow that, especially since I know shameless clop isn't allowed. Thunderlane is there to get RD there and has no reason to be able to do so since he is also new, Rarity is this fighter for reasons, and RD decides fighting and trying to kill other ponies is immediately awesome for REASONS! Not only that, but RD did it because she wanted to beat the shit out of her friend who has no real conflict with her because RD makes it happen for no reason. Add on top of that the fact that we get no explanations at the end and all you have is senseless violence between two puppets, not characters.


And honestly, no one else seems to be having an issue with Dash being OOC.

You do realize there was another comment below Rainedash's that had that problem, yes? And that there is now another after it, bringing it to a total of three comments with 16 upvotes between them as I write this?


And honestly, no one else seems to be having an issue with Dash being OOC.

Except TGM in this post 5391494 and Jumbled Thought here 5391705 (granted, that one was posted the same time as your reply). All of which, along with my post, have multiple thumbs up. So, I'm not the only one who believes this. And coming in third in a competition doesn't mean the issues should be just overlooked.


I stated my view and reasoning, I stand by it. You do not seem to agree, so too bad for me.

I will not, however, be removing it.

~Skeeter The Lurker


And honestly, no one else seems to be having an issue with Dash being OOC.

*Slowly raises hand*
Errr... I'm also having a issue with the OOC in this story, believe it or not.

Do to overwhelming requests, I must apologize.

I have removed said fic from Twilight's Library.

Reason being is the whole "OOC" thing.

~Skeeter The Lurker

5391499 But thats the beauty of the whole thing! The whole point is just how OOC this is for Rarity. I agree that the initial conflict feels forced though. I've seen at least one fic where Rarity's dad was a crazy military leader who trained her in martial arts and the art of war. It was freaking awesome.

Majin Syeekoh

5391816 The problem is with Rainbow Dash, not Rarity.

5391835 Yeah, Dash is way OOC now that I think about it.

5391845 Well you don't have to get all sarcastic about it.:trollestia:

It is well established that Rarity has martial arts training (pilot episode, A Canterlot Wedding) which she must have received somewhere. Dash is exaggerated a bit in the "she's your friend, not mine" bit. It has a bit of the forced feeling that "Look Before You Sleep" had between Rarity and Applejack: in this case being an excuse for a Fight Club story.

Despite the plot holes, it was an enjoyable read. While the buildup to the main fight put some strain on the suspension of disbelief, it isn't too extreme to see Rarity and Dash at odds with each other and finding out that they share a competitive edge that both can mutually respect.

5391494 5391499 5391705
I suppose I should explain my own understanding here. I agree that the characterization is heightened and skewed here, but still recognizably so, and I don't think in a way outside what many other fics would do. I attempted to frame this within the series – Rainbow mentions Griffon the Brush Off in the near past, placing this early in Season 1, prior to Look Before You Sleep, where it's understood that the Mane 6 do not necessarily know each other well or get along like best friends. Rainbow Dash isn't interested in hanging out with Rarity, who comes across as superficial and annoyingly obsessed with exactly all the things Rainbow doesn't care for. But to find Rarity isn't interested in her for the same reasons is insulting. The argument is admittedly sudden and fierce, and could be better set up, though I'm not sure how really to do so – however, I would suggest it works more in the context of the whole story arc, rather than a standalone event.

Rainbow's ego and aggressiveness are deliberately punched up in the story (As often happens in the show; see the sudden intense focus on Twilight's neuroses in Lesson Zero compared to prior, or Applejack's pathological fixation on protecting Apple Bloom in Somepony to Watch Over Me). When she later sees an opportunity within a totally valid context to challenge Rarity (in a physical way that Dash assumes she totally owns) she jumps at it. Not so much to try and hurt Rarity as much as show her up. Rarity, after all, is a pony concerned about appearances and being high-class. Rainbow, seeing her there, naturally assumes she doesn't belong, that it's one further affectation that she's putting on, and resolves to knock her down a few pegs. Things turn out differently than she expects, and once she sees something genuine in Rarity, she respects that. Just as Rarity respects Rainbow Dash as someone who can challenge her. It's a story about two ponies who are all about maintaining exterior facades both finding the true strength underneath in each other, and coming to a better mutual understanding.

5392215 First off, if you aren't making it present, have that fact be included in the description and not through dialogue that seems used to make sure you the reader gets the point you are making in this fic. Secondly it isn't only her aggression I have a problem with, but the fact that she seems to casually be okay with ponies beating the shit out of each other and just joining. Finally, as far as the set up goes, in no way does Rarity come off as seeing Rainbow as beneath her. She simply states she is too busy with business, a very understandable thing that RD immediately takes as an act of aggression. Also, I'm sorry but having her aggression peaked is one thing. Having it so peaked that she is willing to beat the shit out of her friend just to knock her down a peg? And if it isn't doing it to a friend, would she have just done it to any Canterlot nobility pony?

5391815 I'm not one to shoot the messenger. Even though your job is not only being the messenger and I have no skin in this story. Besides, your thoughts and actions on this story stimulated my mind. But...

5392215 ... whatever your motives Sharp Sparks - i had a painful day. I don't like fighting and I don't like friends hurting each other. but. This story was meant to be read by me. today. Don't have anything constructive to say.

Good job on a enjoyable story.


First off, if you aren't making it present, have that fact be included in the description and not through dialogue that seems used to make sure you the reader gets the point you are making in this fic.

Yeah, the text is no place for details important to the story!

5392344 Not when it could just be a reference. Only a little over a year has passed for the mane 6 and Pinkie could take events like Gilda hard but still be curious about her. It just isn't hinted enough in the story.

I like it. I just... I'm usually much better at describing, in detail, why, but this just has me smiling like an idiot, without many words.

Perhaps its the martial artist/instructor in me that loved the way you wrote the fighting, or maybe its just the way you characterize the both of them (somewhere between canon and caricature, with just enough of both), or the personal touches you gave their fighting personas, but this was just great.

It's also great to see a story about "the secret side of Rarity" that isn't... well... sexual in nature, and is also not in the realm of "crackfics."

Kudos, my friend. Kudos.

Remember the first two rules about Fight Club, girls. No talking about Fight Club :eeyup:

Bradel #39 · Dec 17th, 2014 · · 3 ·

Maybe I'm wrong, but listening to you two, I get the feeling that your beef is less with the story and more with the approval process for Twilight's Library. Rainbow and Rarity hardly ever have direct one-on-one interactions in the show (it was a fairly big deal when "Bats!" had a scene with Rarity actually looking for Rainbow Dash), which is one of the reasons they make an interesting pairing for friendshipping stories. And Rainbow is regularly a bit of a jerk at baseline, when it comes to canon, most recently with the whole "let's sell off Fluttershy so I can get a book" thing. The author is doing what fanfiction authors do—take interesting characters and put them in novel situations—and the pieces are being put in place specifically to create a story arc. Apparently not one you like, which is fine—not everybody has to like every story. But you both seem a little too hair-trigger about this for me to find your arguments particularly compelling. If all you're cool with are stories that perfectly match show flavor, that's going to cut you off from an awful lot of good stories.

If it makes you feel any better about Twilight's Library, though, there should be a bit less competition for space in the future. I doubt I'll be submitting anything to them again, after seeing how y'all are acting here. Incivility is not something that endears me to any group, and there are plenty of better places I can go to get attention for my own stories. It sounds like Twilight's Library is taking some action to deal with this kind of incivility, which I find very commendable on their part. I feel bad that it had to come to that, but I'm happy to know that this behavior isn't reflective of the group as a whole.

5392404 My problem is not how they react to each other. It is that how RD acts has no basis in the story, even to the point of drastically mishearing Rarity. Also, there is jerk, and then there is willing to beat the shit out of somepony to teach them a lesson. That s out of character to me, even for an aggressive type like RD. I will admit that I reacted a bit harsher then I should, but my comments about her being OOC and this story just wanting to make two things fight, not even these two character, I believe stands, partially because of the fact that they don't ever get to talk in this one except for RD deciding Rarity hates her though she says nothing to that effect.


If it makes you feel any better about Twilight's Library, though, there should be a bit less competition for space in the future. I doubt I'll be submitting anything to them again, after seeing how y'all are acting here.

I have to agree. I joined Twilight's Library almost two years ago, and some of my stories were among the first hundred or so added, but recently it's gotten insane. I never submit to EqD because I considered them elitist and not worth the trouble to please (no offense, Bradel :ajsmug:) but these days Twilight's Library is possibly worse and with even less to gain from it.

Maybe I'll have to check out EqD again.


Now, when you come back with a story that doesn't need RD to only be a bitch, make sense, and try to explain a single reasoning behind anything, especially Rarity, I might like it. ... If you wrote shameless clop as well, I would not be surprised.

Yeah, I think you're right—maybe you did act a little more harshly than some people find appropriate.

I get that you have issues with the story. I don't tend to share them—I'm pretty cool with an author speculating about ponies fighting for fun. I also never read this story as Rainbow thinking, "Oh Celestia, I hate that marshmallow bitch and I want to destroy her to teach her a lesson." There's an edge here, but I don't feel like it hits anywhere near the level you seem to feel is here. I'm not, mind, saying that you're wrong. We read the story differently. I like it, you don't. That's all perfectly fine. My issue is that I find the level of vitriol in these comments a lot more noxious than any depiction of violence in this story.

5392427 Honestly, that probably would have been my comment anyways because that is how I feel and I bring it up anytime I have to talk about this story because that was what it was to me. Just consider for a moment that even just an aquantiance of yours shows up, and you decide to 'Fuck them. They need to be knocked down a peg, my fist through their face should do it.' Many hate Mare Do Well for how the ponies were too mean to RD, so ask yourself how this isn't the same. What if Rarity couldn't fight back? She came at her full force from the get go which means she was out for blood.

5392421 Have you looked at the rejection thread recently? Besides, would you rather we let a biased opinion decide what makes it in or an objective one? I never make it in with my fics so I get to bitch about there standards too. However, I normally can't simply say 'The prereader didn't like it and that is why my fic didn't make it.' That is why we all reacted poorly to our admins choice because that was literally all he gave for the story even though it has faults that normally cause fics to be rejected. Besides, it is the high standard we keep that makes us trustworthy in most's eyes.


Honestly sorry to hear that.

I apologize if my actions on here assisted in those decisions.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Rainbow Dash is brash and often times speaks before she thinks. Having her be a bit of a jerk isn't the issue. It's how she came off so thin-skinned and whiny. About how she herself said she had no interest in hanging out with Rarity and then did an about face when Rarity said she'd be too busy. Rainbow Dash shouldn't have been flat out offended that a friend of the group is too busy to hang out. Even in season 1, even when Dash is at her worse, she wouldn't just lay into Rarity about being snobby or assume that Rarity is embarrassed to be seen with her. Also, very rarely is Rainbow Dash a jerk to others on purpose just to insult them.

As for having a hair trigger, I admit I replied quickly because this wasn't the first time Skeeter just added a story to the library right away without any kind of second opinion. However, I do stand by my criticisms of the story itself. I wouldn't say something about it if I didn't believe it.

For the story matching the show's flavor, I've read and enjoyed a lot that haven't. I just felt like this one needed to be fleshed out more and have a more natural feeling conflict at the beginning instead of just Rainbow Dash looking to pick a fight.

Finally as far as Twilight's Library and you goes, I honestly don't care. I'm a member sure, but I have no real influence there or any great loyalty to the group, beyond just not wanting it to become an admin's personal favorites list.

It wasn't about elitism, it was about having a standard and trying to stick to it. It irked me a bit to see an admin approving a story without a second opinion despite that story having issues that have gotten quite a few prior stories rejected. That shouldn't happen. It's no better than when an EqD prereader passes something just because of the author attached to it, or when they let a story break their rules just because the prereader liked it (such as posting a story below the minimum allowed word count). People just want a little consistency.

Well, they assisted in that you recommended a good piece of fanfic for the group, and the group decided it wasn't good enough, then proceeded to stink up another writer's comments about it like Twilight's Library is some important thing.

So, you could prevent this in the future by... not recommending good fanfics I guess?

You know, bats and I were contributors for Twilight's Library a while ago, and we never contributed anything for exactly this reason. We've since been removed, but I'm glad to see our inactivity was justified.

ETA: And the group wonders why they can't find good help.

Bradel #47 · Dec 17th, 2014 · · 1 ·


Have you looked at the rejection thread recently? Besides, would you rather we let a biased opinion decide what makes it in or an objective one?

I've said this a hundred times with respect to EQD, and if it's becoming an issue with TL now, it bears saying here too. And I think I'll let this be my last word on the matter, because the comments here should really be for Sharp Spark's story, not Fimfiction group politics.

If you want to judge story quality objectively, all you'll ever see are stories that are technically proficient and deadly boring. Stories have to take risks, and story quality depends intrinsically on those risks. Trying to create objective standards is a nightmare. Say you have a comedy. How do you measure whether it's a good comedy? Volume after volume has been written trying to dissect how humor works, and there are a number of competing theories—but at the end of the day, evaluations of humor are almost always subjective. And you'll have this problem with any genre you consider.

No one is ever entitled to get their story highlighted in a group or on a blog or website. You earn that right by working your butt off to create the best stories you can, and then you hope other people can see when those stories are good. Setting down hard and fast rules for what is and isn't objectively "quality" narrows your window of stories, and often the number of good stories excluded just about balances any labor-saving you manage by filtering out some of the bad. The only thing anyone can really do is to find people whose taste they feel they can (usually) trust and get them to recommend what they think is good. And if the folks in Twilight's Library aren't cool with that, then they aren't looking for quality stories. They're looking for a cheap way to get more exposure for their own stories, or writing that fits narrow grammatical and stylistic rules, but they're not looking for quality.

I can't speak to how good 5391706 is at spotting quality; I don't know him that well. But I know he reads a heck of a lot of stories, and he pays attention to what's happening in the fanfiction community. All he did here was the job he should have been doing—trying to highlight what he felt was good fanfiction for a group that highlights good fanfiction. A lot of people apparently disagreed with him, and sometimes that happens. But if you ask me, he was doing exactly what anyone in his position should have been doing. And if you're not cool with getting fanfiction recommendations by that type of mechanism (knowing that they'll always be at least a little hit-or-miss for your own taste), then I don't really see how you plan to find quality stories.

Huh. Not how I expected this one to go. Not that I'm complaining, of course... This story was very interesting and a fun read! Appearances only tell part of the story, it seems. :ajsmug:

I enjoyed this.
Its a well written fight scene and quite good pacing.
I do have a question as to why Rainbow Dash and Rarity seem to have some significant conflict between them. The groan for the start is possible, but her distinct hate and seemingly malicious intent towards Rarity seems a bit unwarranted. True, they're (well, almost) complete opposites but I think Rainbow was acting a little "too much" towards Rarity.

However, I did enjoy it either way.
Congratulations on the well deserved 3rd place :twilightsmile:

Rule one of pony fight club, you do not talk about pony foght club
Rule two of pony fight club, You DO NOT TALK ABOUT PONY FIGHT CLUB!

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