Being subtle isn't Rainbow Dash's strong suit. At all. So when Applejack asks her point blank what she thinks of Rarity, she doesn't hold back.
Not her best idea.
Pre-Read by: SapphireColors | LoneUnicornWriter
Reading by LandonWho
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 15th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 24th, 2019
Fire Gazer the Alchemist
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the nuclear bomb's got them both beat.
Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Joined 15th Dec, 2013 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Fire Gazer the Alchemist · 13k words · 1,535 37 · 15k views
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Yes.
I must have more.
Rarity's totally into it.
Lol, I'm jut sitting here like:
Ya'll fuckers be prepared, 'cause I know how shit is gonna go down.
Oh shit!
Rainbow probably has an entire array of bad pick up lines to try.
Okay, this is a lot of fun.
Needs a prereader, though.
I agree with 5521975 that this could use some pre-reading. The prose could stand to be tightened up a bit in places. I've got a real soft spot for the sort of shipping comedy this is shaping up to be, though, and I think you've done a nice introduction here. In particular, I was expecting some sort of immediate jokey pay-off to Dash's statement, and very pleased to see that you're setting up a real conflict instead. There's not a whole lot of indication to where you're going with this yet, but you've done enough to catch my interest—so nice job!
Ohhhh, Dash. You done messed up.
(In more ways than one.
)
In other words, girl, that was a serious case of "open mouth, insert hoof".
All the way up to your elbow.
5521648 Spoken like a fabulous cat.
I think you misplaced a space.
I liked it. It was a fun little story.
My implied TwiJack senses are tingling.
Oh, and you better bump this up to mature. I want to see ponies frick.
All right then.
Oh this could be good...
Tracking.
Okay, a lot of comments sprung up when I wasn't looking. Now I'm going to try and reply to them all.
5521567
You shall, the next chapter should hopefully be up sometime today.
5521623
5521648
Just make sure you don't spoil anything, or else Fluttershy will get pissed.
5521653
Already mentioned this with Derpator, but the plan is for the next chapter to be up today.
5521712
I know it's not quite what you said, but it was the closest I could find on short notice.
5521901
"Hey Rares, great legs. What time do they open?"
5521913
Nice one.
5521975
I've been talking to my editor about this one. He's got a lot to do right now, but he'll be getting around to this story eventually. Until then I'm just going to have to rely on my terrible eyesight to catch any errors.
5522034
Okay then...
5522261
Glad you're intrigued.
5522298
Agreed, but at least it's going to be fun to watch her do damage control.
5522308
A (very) fabulous cat.
5522449
Thanks for the catch. I'm glad you like it so far.
5522690
I don't really write ponies fricking, so that's kinda a no for mature. However, do keep that implied TwiJack in the back of your mind. It may make a resurgence.
5522815
Yep.
5523188
Hopefully you'll like the end result.
5523335
"Oh yeah. She wants the D(ash)"
5521901
*Gets coat*
5523512
5523513
5523577
"Hey Rarity, that dress is very becoming on you."
5523614
5523512 Thank you.
And this is true.
Whatta ya wanna bet she falls flat on her face in the trying, though?
And in a very spectacular manner?
5523728
You'll find out later today.
5523790 oh boy did this make me laugh.
great job dude as always. I'm interested to see how this turns out 
5523790 Cool. I'll be on the look-out for the next chapter.
All...these...sex puns... they hurt. But i can't stop laughing!
5523577
5523614
i.qkme.me/35oer5.jpg
5524414
exactly.
Damn, why couldn't this have more tags, make rares squeal like a pig.
This could turn out badly.
Especially if Rarity finds out that it was a dare.
5524472
5524414 Okay, I suppose one more can't hurt.
5524706
I was tempted to post that one.
You had me at "implied Applejack crush on Twilight."
Can't wait to read more!
You glorious, glorious bastard.
Ha.
That was pretty good there, AJ.
Whatever Rainbow's dare is, it's gonna be a nasty one to get back for the Spa and Rarity.
Make Rarity squeal? Just tell her that polka dots and pinstripes are in this year.
By the way, hot tip Rares, Rainbows are gonna be in you.
Smooth Dash. Looking forward to the next chapters, hopefully RD stuns Rares with her dashingly good looks now her manes been tamed and she's prettied up. Hoping RD gets to dare Apple jack to lay some moves on Twilight.
You do this a couple of times. To paraphrase my avatar's movie: "You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Did you mean "recoiled"? That would make more sense.
5525638
I just looked it up, and apparently it did not mean what I thought it meant. Inconceivable!
But yeah, you're right, I'll change it.
5525638 Your paraphrase only added an "on" between "keep" and "using", so it's almost a direct quote. :P But anyways, I agree, "reviled" doesn't work here.
It has been my head-canon that Rainbow's hooves were just really ticklish, but I can easily see her neglecting them to the point where they crack and become painful to touch.
...
They need to make a sad RD emoticon.
Man, Rainbow was being a complete jerkass throughout most of this one.
BTW, another proofreading pass would be a very good idea.
Well, I just finished the first chapter, and I must say.
i.imgur.com/uu9pmDP.gif
Well, that was fun.
I wonder if RD will realize that "make her squeal" does not have to be sexual. AJ never said it had to be.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/5/566946/large.png
a necessary addition to this comments section
That last line was golden!
5521901 Ooh, Ooh! make sure to try Tucker's best pickup line:
hey baby, did you fall from heaven, cause I've always wanted to bone an angel!
i think at the end there what rarity did was mean, most of it was earned but forcing rainbow to go through that, rarity owes her one now and quite sure pinky and twilight would agree, don't even want to think what fluttershy well do to rarity, the stare is coming back.
You people are getting it all wrong.
Boom. Done.
Raridash must Dash it is the fate of the world
yay, more Raridash.
5526266 sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608021929068529553&pid=15.1&P=0