- Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Yesterday
ocalhoun
I am not contained between my hat and my boots.
ocalhoun
Joined 7th Jun, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Flint-Lock · 17k words · 54 6 · 1.1k views
Featured In45
- oops29 stories ·13 members
- ________1,578 stories ·298 members
I Just Want a Comment15,703 stories ·3,671 members
- The Group of People with Unusual Amounts of Swag27 stories ·31 members
X Becomes An Alicorn468 stories ·884 members
How NOT to Write Fanfiction (Your Greatest Regrets)69 stories ·79 members
The Rogue Bronydom1,058 stories ·431 members
- The people who hate the word "RED" in a title8 stories ·14 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.146 seconds
Total duration
1,008 users online
1,499,867 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hey guys, I put a lot of work into this story, so please don't say anything bad about it. I worked on it for hours, so don't disrespect me.
I came so fucking hard.
OMG I'm dying of laughter!
I so want to upvote it without even reading it, just to troll you.
What I really fear (or embrace; your mileage may vary) is that I will read it and than upvote, based on the fact that you promised a train wreck, and then delivered a train wreck.
As the proud author of Twilight Eats a Peach, Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder [which actually has a reading on YouTube (and it's awesome)], and soon to be a fic inspired by a thread titled "What's the worst fanfic you can imagine" (hint: Being John Malkovich except with Flash Sentry and no gorilla flashbacks), I do appreciate a good crackfic more than most.
On top of that, given that Amethyst Star/Sparkler is a favorite background pony, based on you avatar I can't really hate it, can I?
Oh, the moral dilemma.
. . . considers upvote.
fap fap fap
fap fap fap
LOL
(fap fap fap)
I'm spent.
Someone once asked me how I could write both well-thought-out novel-length stories and one-shot crackfics. I said, "I take what I'd do in a serious story, and then do the opposite."
Still, I can't help but think you died a little inside when you wrote this abomination.
Achievement unlocked: fanatic button pushed.
Achievement unlocked: rabid fanatic button pushed.
Considering upvote for having BESTPONY win.
Achievement unlocked: pissed-off author.
I don't even know what to say.
Someone had to read this abomination and make sure it passed FimFiction's standards. For that reason alone, I'll give you the downvote you're so craving.
You owe that poor bastard a beer or ten.
At the same time, I feel you've managed a pyrrhic victory, since there are stories of lower quality on the site.
EDIT: I'm favving it, too. You can't stop me.
4701412
I give this a 420 No Scope/10, would boost KD with the Author!
Cheers, Null
P.S. Seriously though I was in tears when Twilight dragged Flash into the library, great work as always. Out of sheer morbid curiosity I was wondering how long this took you to write?
OMG, this shit was so hilars!
After some reflection . . .
I have a terrible premonition of this being featured.
What have we unleashed?
1000000/10 would read again.
Yes, I downvoted it just for you.
It just isn't the same when you do it intentionally and people downvote you for the intent to get you below 50% rating.
Just isn't the same.
Noop.
21 downvotes and 18 readers?
How dare you downvote without even reading the story!?!??!!!
You have to give it a chance!
4701863
Nghhh you are trying to break me... I know you want down votes so if I down vote can we consider it a upvote since thats what you want?
downvoted, don't worry it's richly deserved.
4701863
I'll check it out. Before voting.
4701412
While painful to read, I can appreciate the concept and what I did read was hilarious.
I'm going to up vote and assume that 30 people don't know what the word "satire" means. (Or don't recognize it.)
I see a bit of this going on:
i.imgur.com/HV7SmIU.jpg
Now lets see who gets it.
Why you do dis?
This is literally a perfect story. Where did you ever come up with this idea?
The magnum opus of your work. Magnificent.
What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.
Oh lord god, ocalhaun. Whatever did you do?
For an obvious crackfic it still made me giggle so you get thumbs up for that.
Oh GOD I'M DYING!!! This is literally one of the best stories I have ever read.
4701602
That's Shakespeare if I ever saw it.
This is one of the best stories I've ever had the honor of reading. It bonded me emotionally, physically, mentally, and sexually. Five star work, NO, 8 star work. Out of 5.
This story sucked so bad I cudnt even get imersed bcuz I got like a billino kills and no daeths. -5/10 wud not fap.
This is Shakespeare to the highest degree. I cried when Flash Sentry took the bullet for his sick grandmother. I clopped when Flash Sentry gave Twilight Sparkle AIDS. I relished the moment when Flash Sentry killed the ponies and fornicated with Luna's corpse.
You, my good sir, have written a masterpiece that is deserving of a downvote. Good day to you.
4702725 I ask the very same thing... oh my, ouch...
"This was absolutely awful, no redeeming qualities. 11/10" --IGN
4701451
This is an entirely serious story.
4701462
I know, right? It's so sexeh.
4701465
It's my 'best' yet!
4701513
What? There were no funny parts at all.
4701535
Muahahaha!
4701567
Yeah... that did kinda suck.
4701602
Yes, that is one of the best lines I've ever written.
4701640
It took hours of carefully thought out poor execution.
Saved a lot of time on proofreading, though.
(Heh, maybe I should have trolled some proofreaders by asking them to take a look at it.)
4701680
It's not funny. It's serious.
4701700
I think we've avoided that tragedy, at least.
4701713
I owe it all to you guys!
4701719
I guess not, but it still technically counts.
Achievement unlocked: more than 50% downvotes.
Bonus achievement unlocked: more votes than reads.
4704491 Oh.
Well then.
4701744
Yeep!
4701853
*takes bow*
4701867
Yes, let the confusion flow through you.
4701968
Thanks!
4701990
Because you never know if the story might be a lot better than the description suggests!
(Hint: it isn't!)
4702104
Noooo! Don't upvote it!
Does it look like I was trying for upvotes?
4702236
Ooh! Ooh! I get it.
That actually is the thread that reminded me I wanted to try this.
(Disclaimer: I blame The Writer's Group for this story. Entirely.)
4702266
Why not?
4702542
Nope... but I'd love to hear about that contest! Maybe I could enter this one into it!
(I would need to make a few 'improvements' to it, though. I totally intended to have the main character making fun of Derpy for being 'Retarted', but I forgot to put it in.)
4702594
I don't normally delete comments.
But when I do, it's because the comment told me it was screencapped.
(Awaits you reposting the comment in a screencapped image.)
4702618
I think you know.
4702650
Is it weird that I honestly am a little perversely proud of that line?
4702705
And the best comment award goes to...
...
Admiral Biscuit
4702725
You know.
You know what I did.
(If it helps, I hereby promise to not do it again. For a while.)
4702978
Nuuu!
No thumbs up!
4703769
I know, right?
4703788
Absolute perfection, I know.
4704198
Do I have my first legitimately offended commenter?
4704463
Exactly what I was going for!
4704509
Totly srs.