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Ekhidna


Hobby writer and potentially a complete future one aswell!

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After a bad date with Trenderhoof, Rarity returns home to her sister. Before long they are joined by an unexpected visitor. Said visitor turns out to be none other than Spike, the dragon that has been infatuated with Rarity for years now. He has come to give her a little speech, and ask her for the only thing he wishes more than anything else—

—just one chance, one opportunity, to take her on a date.

*If you are feeling generous you can buy me a Ko-Fi!!

*Description fixed by The Descendant, Thanks buddy*
*This is a Sparity One-Shot done for the very talented Pia-Sama*
*Cover Artwork done by Pia-sama, as well as some minor references inside*

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 114 )

D'aw. I'm not big on Sparity, but this was adorable. I'm also adding it to the Trenderhoof group, because he does sort of make an appearance--sort of!

Very sweet. I do believe I'll consider adding this to my favorites list. I do gotta ask though, was that pony watching them Celestia. She doesn't seem like the type to spy on others.

So it was princess celestia? Good enough for me:trollestia:

Beautiful story, good story to read before I turn in for the night. I was actually surprised that she was the one watching the date from afar. Oh well to tired to think of anything else I think I saw some grammar errors but I don't remember where... not to sure now.

4558789 YOU NAILED IT!

It may have seen like it was Celestia at some points (since my cannon is that Celestia is Spike's mother, thus making Cadence his cousin) but who else could it be other than the princess of love herself.

Very good work. Got my fave.

Despite errors, I enjoyed your Sparity story. :twilightsmile:

Good job!

Well that was a well written fanfic. I think this is probably in one of the best shipping stories I have ever read.

This is very cute, but it is littered with grammar errors. I'd recommend giving it another once over, or possibly enlisting the help of an editor. Aside from the grammar and spelling mistakes though, this is solidly written, and pretty darn adorable.

Very nice. Told how it would be.:raritywink:

Just one piece of advice: Try not to put the entire plot of the story in the description.

Anyway, it was nice. Nothing else to say really, just nice. Must confess this didn't really have any effect on me, in fact I'm already kind of forgetting what happened as I'm typing...
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IGN - 10/10

4560961 Well nice to see you have a sense of humour :pinkiesmile: Honestly, I did think this was forgettebale, but from what I recall, I did enjoy this.

This is really amazing. It really would be a great canon episode if it were made possible.:pinkiehappy:

Ek, buddy, first things first... ya gotta fix the description. Just copy/paste this:



After a bad date with Trenderhoof, Rarity returns home to her sister. Before long they are joined by an unexpected visitor. Said visitor turns out to be none other than Spike, the dragon that has been infatuated with Rarity for years now. He has come to give her a little speech, and ask her for the only thing he wishes more than anything else—

—just one chance, one opportunity, to take her on a date.

AL

Owwwwwwwwwww. Súper awesoneee

After all, it was no secret for anyone who had the blessing of sight, to see the tremendously obvious infatuation the town’s dragon had for the beautiful seamstress, all but Rarity herself it seemed, she was aware of his crush, that much was certainly true, but she ignored just how deep that ‘crush’ actually went.

the-toast.net/okay/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/spacey-bitch-please.gif

In her worst case scenario, however, she dreaded he would act like some sort of possessive and obsessed fool, react angrily and later on resent her, ultimately destroying their friendship, or worse yet, let whatever dragon instinct play out for such a response.

Spike literally did not let her get a single word out while he was making his little proposal, and it was filled a slightly less overt 'oh, I know I'm not good enough for you so I bet you'll just reject me' kind of backhandedness. It wasn't a charming approach that won her over. It was emotional blackmail, pure 'Oh, how I will suffer if you do not consider my penis' schlock.

Spike had, instead, acted like a true refined and collected gentlecolt, something that not even her best case scenario could match.

See, I'm thinking of a few refined and collected gentlemen. Even a few rough-around-the-edges ones. Daniel Craig in pretty much anything. Cary Grant. George Clooney. Michael Caine. Jeffery Donovan. Will Smith. Simon Baker. Tim Kang. Kal Penn. Hugh Laurie.

Try to imagine Spike's little spiel coming out of any of their mouths.

Would it sound right from any of them?

There's no charm. There's no niceness, no mutual understanding that Rarity doesn't have to say 'yes' or risk their friendship. It's not even clutzy-fumbling endearing like nineties Hugh Grant. No references to mutual interests, no chemistry (because it's a one-sided rant from Spike!), not even the idea that they will have a mutually fun time on this date, which is pretty much the basics of requesting any date.

Christ, what an asshole.

He had been sincere. Every single word that came out his mouth was packed to the brim with sincerity

the-toast.net/okay/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/gag.gif

and it hurt her. Each word he spoke was like a dagger aimed to her heart, and every single one hit their mark perfectly, she had no idea he felt such strong feelings for her, it had made her curse herself to sleep last night for being so unattentive and blind. She didn’t dared to imagine just how many sleepless nights she had caused to the young dragon, or how damaging her occasional little flirts were on him. To his eyes, and maybe the eyes of others, it all seemed like she was playing with his heart. The idea alone sicken her.

That's kinda gross. If you have an unrequited crush on someone, it's not that someone's fault. They are not obligated to perfectly monitor their every move around you so that nothing they do can be interpreted as flirting, yet without hurting your feelings.

I don't know what's more off-putting—writing Spike as a Nice Guy, or portraying that as a good thing.

Was that Rainbow Dash or Celestia?

4561732 Cadence


4561113 Nah, this isn't even worth to be look at that way, it may be worth a read but nothing else, this is not, in any way, a professional work XD.

Don't let anyone tell you this isn't lovely. I loved that slowly over the entire date Rarity found herself falling for Spike. Well done.

OMG when i read the the ending i was like :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiegasp:

As Rarity put it "A lady never kiss or tell".

Some might argue that Spike is too young?! Hold on, hold the hell on!:flutterrage:

Twilight and her friends are probably in their twenties right? Spike was hatched when Twilight was 5 (Saying that because that's the age you go to kindergarten) So Spike is only 5 years younger than Twilight. Spike must be at least 18 years old by now! He's technically an adult by human and pony standards! And this is also implied by the fact that he's really mature for his size and age! He's a baby DRAGON, but if he were a pony, he'd be a grown colt. I know for a fact hat rarity is at least a year older than Twilight, so I'd say that Spike is about 6 years younger than Rarity, maybe 7. So really, the age difference shouldn't be a problem. I know many people who are 5-8 years apart and are in a relationship. I'm getting tired of people just treating Spike like a baby! He's a young adult. Thank you very much!:moustache:

But aside from that, cool story! Better than I could ever do!:twilightsmile:

Comment posted by TwilightSnarkle deleted Jun 18th, 2014

This was awesome. :moustache:

4561626

The last part is what I had an issue with, Spike IS a nice guy, to say otherwise is to be ignorant of his character, in my honest opinion

And that being a nice guy is a bad thing? Nope, sorry I have had many a date because I am a nice guy

*stands and applauds* Well played author, well played.:moustache:

4561863 Says you, I'm a writer and a huge Sparity fan and I can tell this is great work. Plus I'm also a fan of Pia-Sama's work as well.

4561152 One chance
one opportunity
to seize everything he ever wanted
one moment
will he capture it?
Or just let it slip...

I really liked this and I normally don't go in for sparity :raritystarry:

*Reading about halfway through the story*
I'm not entirely liking Spike's usage of 'milady' so far. It's nice to use occasionally but I find it weird to be used in the same way Rarity uses 'darling'. It works for Rarity but I feel that Spike is a bit more casual and laidback, even to her. To me, it does seem like he's putting a bit of a front and maybe it was to play to her own idealised 'Prince dream'. Used a sort of mock archaic manner is fine though.

*Finished reading*
I liked it. A lot actually.

I'm not going to lie, while I found this fic cute, it was kind of painful to read. Are you a native english speaker?

Anyway, what exactly are you looking for in an editor? Just to fix grammar or did you want the whole nine yards? I need a small amount of downtime from editing my own fic and I wouldn't mind giving this a thrice over if you were interested.

Cheers, Null

4562912

There's a difference between being a guy who is nice, and being a Nice Guy ('Women ignore me because I'm a Nice Guy, they only want assholes!). Spike is the latter in this fic, and that is not a good thing.

4564154 nope, english is my second language, and I just want an editor who is willing to help me with the grammar errors, that's all. If you wish to help me, I would reallt appreciate it.

This story was very good aside from the couple grammar errors. However, I have seen stories with much worse grammar. (It once took me three hours to fix a 1200 word chapter) If you would like me to edit for you, and help you improve the story I would gladly do so. In the meantime, I'm adding this to my favorites!

Sparity is best Ship! Well done. Loved this :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

4564724 I think I'll pass, I don't think I'm the guy you're looking for.

Good luck with that though.

Incredibly sweet and honest.
I loved how Spike slowly wins over Rarity without even trying to impress her.
Very IC, great chemistry and wonderful ideas.

“Bien fait mon ami.” He said before returning to his kitchen.

I'm french, and this doesn't really mean anything. I'm guessing you wanted him to say "well done, my friend", in that case it would be "bien joué, mon ami". :raritywink:
It's been a while since I've read a good Sparity fic, I've always had a sweet spot for it in my ship list. :rainbowkiss:
Congratulations for this story my friend, you deserve it.

4558812 Epic and wonderful love story dude.

Comment posted by Intestinal Cancer deleted Jun 19th, 2014
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