Princess Twilight Sparkle holds a wake in the memory of Derpy Hooves after a terrible accident tears the mailmare to pieces. This tragedy affects everypony in Ponyville, and close friends preparing for the funeral find themselves coming together in ways they never have before, sharing their deepest feelings, their tender memories, and their most delicate secrets. They even agree to take care of Dinky, fostering Derpy's orphaned daughter into a bright and promising future.

It would all be very noble if Derpy were actually dead.

Cover art by Darkflame
Special Thanks to Props and Warden

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 236 )
Comment posted by Adeire deleted Oct 24th, 2013

New Story: 93,000 words. Skirts, what are you doing?

I have no idea when I'm going to find time to read this.

:pinkiegasp: I want to read it now!! But it's 12:41 am and I do have work in the morning!! *sobs*
Later my precious, later. :heart: *Yes, I am a BIG fan of your works! Can't wait to read this later!!* :derpytongue2:

Holy... 93K words? I'm supposed to be reducing my Read Later list, not keep adding to it!

Eight upvotes, four views. :derpyderp1:
Seems legit.:rainbowhuh:

Just a plug from one of the editors: This story is really, really cute and fun. Cute AND Fun. From Skirts.

He deserves some recognition for going outside what he usually does to deliver some seriously awesome, happy writing, laced with the emotional character interactions and great characterization that he's so very, very good at. Oh, and his Derpy and Dinky are adorable. You will have difficulty not giggling at Derpy's misadventures in the first chapter, and it only gets better from there.:derpytongue2:

Oh god.

Let the misinformation begin...

~Skeeter The Lurker

I love how this chapter contains these little vignettes of each of the Mane 6 dealing with some aspect of mortality. Truly great stuff, here. There's deeper layers than just having a scene with Rarity writing her memoirs, or Fluttershy fretting over Angel.

"I gotta get to the clubhouse pronto! Scootaloo and Apple Bloom will be there this afternoon, and they're countin' on me to build a new balcony on the south side of the shack!"

Erm... I think you meant Sweetie Belle. Unless, of course, Apple Bloom is into third person?:trixieshiftright:

Oh god... My sides...

This is too incredible.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I have to agree with 3391956 on all of that.

You play it quite well, SS&E.

That and the whole still alive thing makes this quite the tale.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Twilight's issue is still a little vague. I can't decide if she's realized she's immortal, or that she assumed she was and the Princesses told her otherwise, and that's what has her upset.

Dinky is so great. That moment with Fluttershy got me in the feels.

I'll add it to my favs as a priority to read, but I'll not add the like until I read it and feel it deserves one.

Pinkie's got the right idea. After going through 3 funerals myself, I'd don't cry at them anymore.

I get glares, sure, but when I tell them why... The shut right the hell up.

Fluttershy squinted. "What about the chicken that traveled through time?"
"Pffft." Dinky rolled her eyes and smiled. "Everypony's tired of that one."


~Skeeter The Lurker

Oh god, I'm liking this already. Tons of heart and humor. I have to say you did an excellent job with Derpy and Dinky. It's far from the first time we've seen the clumsy parent/precocious child angle (and usually I'm not a big fan of Derpy being done super-goofy), but you make it work. The love between them is almost tangible, and stricken through with a playfulness that inherently follows from Derpy-done-right.

Derpy's brushes with death were hilarious and appropriately ridiculous. We, the reader, know some purported catastrophe is coming, so each time one of these near-misses rears its misbegotten head, we lean forward in our seats a little. And then, we're left with literary blue balls. Given all those mishaps, it's a wonder that Ponyville doesn't have three funerals a day.

I probably won't be able to read anymore until Friday or so, but you've gotten a solid start that's left me wanting more. I love the tone you've set here. And even though we, the reader, know it's not as tragic as it seems, I can smell delicious feels and character development in the air, as well as the promise of d'awws aplenty, and that most welcome of things: the increasingly more frequent Skirtsian happy ending.

And might I say, Rainbow the wage slave is adorable.

"There. Off to Stratopolis it goes. That'll be four bits, please."

Silly Rainbow. Everyone knows Stratopolis is a myth.

Two things:
1. Is Derpy battling the Fel Reaver as a mount, leading the Dranei in an epic battle in the Outlands??
2. This chapter is easily the best so far. Rarity's wise words and her talk with Pinkie Pie were so, so excellent.

Did you just wedge a WoW an Avatar reference in this one?

Pinkie Pie and Rarity... They have their shit together. Pinkie moreso than the rest.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Damn. Rarity's confession...

I'll be damned if it didn't make me tear up.

~Skeeter The Lurker

You call me a better writer, man, but then you write a chapter like this. God damn, feels have been felt. Amazing work.

Also, Derpy is best raid leader.

Nothing like a wake to make one look into themselves and take stock.

Heavy chapter, Skirts.

Well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Good god.

When they wake up and see that...

Haha... Nice ending, dude. Nice ending.

~Skeeter The Lurker

That was an excellent chapter, and a good precursor to the ending to come. The mane 6 are so in-character for the big talk, too. It's really well done.

Perfect ending. I'd almost wish for more, but its so good, there's nothing to add! Excellent work with tying up everything so neatly, especially with the letter to the Princess and Celestia's short appearance.

Bravo, sir.

Also, thanks for writing Pinkie Pie so well.

Is it just me or does Derpy die a lot on Fimfiction? :derpyderp1:

3392198 perfect ending. just want a tad more on how they react

There are very few fanfics that I will read in one go that make me feel both laughter and feels. This is one of the. At first I thought this was going to be one of the stories where everybody thinks the character is dead and then they show up, but it's more then that. It's about how tragedy bring us out of our deepest emotions and helps us learn more about ourselves. Something that all six managed to do in this story and I liked it. This is the kind of thing I try to get out out of my tragedies, but the ironic thing is that Derpy's not dead. I will admit, I was disappointed when she didn't show up at the funeral for like the big joke and all, but it was heartwarming none the less, the ending. This kind of story could have been both funny or tragic depending on how you took it, and what you did was excellent nonetheless. Five stars.

3391971 Trixie was obviously a substitute teacher at some point.

I like this. The outside view of us knowing that Derpy is fine makes this an amusing story, but without that knowledge or the sections about Derpy's adventures, this would be a pretty heavy tragedy.

Oh God, this story. It made me laugh and cry at the same time (but mostly cry).
It kept punching me for tears and feels!
It's just... so beautiful.:applecry:

It would all be very noble if Derpy were actually dead.

Called it. Will read later today.

SO MANY FEEEEEEEELS!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad::fluttershbad:

I am so curious as to what happens next.

Say what, 93k for a funeral? FUCK THAT, no offence. Shortskirtsandexplosions chapters are always too long for me to even want to attempt to read.


"Oh, Sweetie Belle, darling, don't go on being so dramatic."

Rarity's one to talk......:ajbemused: And daaaamn, Twilight sure is being a bitch in this story!

She lifted a length of chain and spoke into it. "Pilot to navigator!"


EoP references! :derpyderp2:

One down, seven to go.

Oh man. I like this already. I won't say too much, because I'd be echoing 3392058, but I'm very much looking forward to how this turns out.

"'Harmony: for such was the importance of that little town. It shone like a jewel in the navel of ponydom, and all thanks to the qualities of kindness, honesty, loyalty, laughter, magic, and generosity that defined it. I, in particular, was a bearer of the lattermost quality, most commonly witnessed in the manner with which I bequeathed my creativity to the populace around me, and with such a liberal deluge of artistry too. My name is Rarity, or 'Lady Rarity' if you so desire to be formal. It is my greatest desire to spread elegance and beauty throughout this land, but it all started in a humble town... with humble ponies... all of whom loved each other very dearly...'"

This sounds just like "The Harmony Chronicles" in EoP... but isn't Twilight supposed to be writing those as part of her memoirs? :twilightsmile:

"Look, it's not like I ask why your big brother looks so dog-eyed all the time..."

"True... true..." Twilight nodded. She then did a double-take. "Wait, you think that Shining Armor has dog-eyes?"


"What in Tartarus is that supposed to—?"

I'm still wondering the same thing :rainbowderp:

Wait, wait wait. Sweetie Belle was... not acting like a functional retard?

Are we sure this is a Skirts fic?


Damn, Rarity has taken the lead from Twilight!

Nooo! Anyone, Anypony but Derpy! She's too stupid to die! She never got her muffin!


I like this new, acidic, biting Sweetie Belle. Angry, bitter Rainbow Dash is also good. Heh, I already told my two closest friends that if I die before them, they had to throw a big fete in my name!:rainbowlaugh:


I'm betting Sweetie Belle is Rarity's daughter (hope I'm wrong).

Do you write anything less than epic? Seriously? Like, I bet you could write the worst fic ever, and it would still be epic because you're SSnE.

You have been challenged. Write 100,000 words of the cruddiest fan fic you can think of.

Dinky dangled the blue necklace before her as she stood in a swampy bog somewhere

I think you meant Derpy.

"Light side."


The odd thing is that she'll probably never know what really happened; she might know that somepony mistakenly thought she'd died but that's about it.

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