• Member Since 28th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

shortskirtsandexplosions


space is a waste

T
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Applejack asks her best friends to come watch her sister's hoofball game. The girls know they are in for the most boring Saturday morning in Equestrian history.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 94 )

dat title... lolwut...

And you know the ironic thing? This is what baseball is all about. It's more the experience of GOING: eating the popcorn, drinking a beer, chatting with friends. The game is actually rather boring, but the experience is fun.

So, in trying to show how and why boring baseball is... you actually showed how and why it's great to go to a game.

Caught up with Odrsjot and this popped up at the end. Time for some hoofball.

sees notification pop-up
does a double take

You still find ways to surprise me.

When I first saw that this story's title I thought Skirts had gone off the deep end. :rainbowlaugh:

>"Boring" in the description.
>SS&E

This is gonna be really good.

A title hasn't made me laugh so hard since "Applejack is Full of Squirrels". :rainbowlaugh:

Well... that... happened.

Hahah, wow. That was something.

You've got to be a most bizarre writer ever. Never change.

~Skeeter The Lurker

It's funny how the only thing that consistently gives me drastic mood swings is a Slice of Life one-shot by SS&E.

Short Skirts, nevah change mistah.

That was the most intense thing I've ever read.

So BRVTAL. (Not a typo you maggots)

A story about hoofball ending in apocalyptic havoc?

Skirts must be bored. But yeah, this was fun, a silly little diversion... and depressing in that someone could write 6K in three hours...

Poor Mistah Peanuts... :raritydespair:

Right in the glory.

I had an idea for a clopfic with the same title as this story

I can't believe you actually did this.


Wait.. yes I can. O_O

3134230
Agreed, but the game is also really fun to watch if you know how it's played.

There once was a time when I vowed to make a review-thing for each completed story I read. You really try me, good sir, but try I must.

Even though she hardly spoke, I stand firm on my opinion that you write Fluttershy the best. You seemed to have written Applejack's "southern drawl" a bit strongly, to the point it was distracting in some areas. Granted, accents like hers are incredibly difficult. Rarity, as per usual, was overly verbose, but I did get satisfaction from seeing her dissect the language used against her and in turn her counterarguments during the whole of the event. Rainbow Dash seemed too Rainbow Dash, if that makes sense. Rather than remain steady with her emotions, she was bouncing from extreme to extreme. Twilight was similar in that regard, in addition to coming off as oblivious and obnoxious, oddly enough. And Pinkie Pie was... well... yeah...

But hey, the "throwaway oneshot" does what it does. It's a silly thing that I'm sure you found enjoyment in writing, so good on you. I got a good chuckle or two out of it myself. I'm inclined to agree with Rainbow Dash that sports are boring, and I state my claim on the fact that a significant portion of this story is spent on the bleachers, not on the actual game itself.

But damn the puns. Damn the references. Damn Pinkie Pie. Damn gargoyles. Damn sports in general. Have a thumb.

Love the Heart of Darkness / Apocalypse Now references :heart::heart::heart:

"Don't be rude, Spike," Twilight said with a hard glare. "We're here to support Applejack and Apple Bloom, not to nap the day away."
"I can't help it..." Spike waved a hand before his yawning maw. "Nyup... Nnngh... Reading puts me to sleep."
Twilight's eyes scanned the flipping pages. "But I'm the one whose reading."
"Yes, well..." Spike shrugged. "Second hand words. I can't expect you to understand..."

This exchange, it just made the whole story for me!

Dude like the guards charging for glory made me wish I was along them. Nothing like a demon I. The middle of a game to kill time with. Such a waste of life I feels like at times. Some glory is required.

Rainbow Dash sighed like a slashed Manehattan tire.

That's an analogy worthy of a hoof-bump.

...nothing can hold Rainbow Dash's interest for longer than five minutes unless it has something to do with Wonderbolts, thunderstorms, or explosions."

Or short skirts. :trollestia:

Pinkie Pie and Spike were both pretty hilarious, especially Pinkie and her wacky dialogue. Nice T.S. Eliot/Heart of Darkness references on her part, too. I think Joseph Conrad's description near the end of HoD, of death's grayness and lack of dramatic prestige, can be applied to the kickball game. Those poor foals certainly were dying out there.

3134231 That's a bananable offense.

...Well...that's one way to liven up a game...:twilightoops:

Twilight's eyes scanned the flipping pages. "But I'm the one whose reading."

"Who's".

That escalated quickly...

Alas, I was more confused than laughing. Better luck next time, my dear fellow.

Now that's something that would liven up Major League Baseball....

I HAVE 2 BALLS

SS&E WOULD YOU PLEASE FOLLOW ME. OR ELSE I WILL MOLEST YOUR DOG I APOLOGY YOU FOR LOVELY FLOWERS?

3135209>>3135214 Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that WRITING IN ALL CAPS does not improve the quality of one's content, nor does it make them sound more intelligent or likely to give the intended message. I also learned that ponies using this form of communication tend to have disturbing ideas of what qualifies as fitting retribution.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

3135322 I THINK YOU HAVE SEVERE ASPERGER'S OR BRAIN AIDS.

3135328
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Common sense and reason is that way

3135332 THAT'S RIGHT

3135355 I managed to talk you down from your font size. A winner is me! :twilightsmile:

3135440 Phew, your reply was bigger than I thought it would be.

I'm favoriting and following just because of the Title. And those rockin' comments.

3135483 I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOUR LICENSE PLEASE

3135505
I think victory has been attained.

Inb4 knighty disables font size above 40.

3135505

Holy shit this broke my browser xD

3134829 Sweet Celestia! I read the story, but I didn't think people would hate me for feeling bad about typing "first" :raritydespair: I actually really like the story. Its a nice break from all the serious things I've been reading.

Well. That escalated quickly now, didn't it?

Words fail me. This story was probably the best I've ever read on here ever. Ever. Ever. EVER. Shut up and take my thumbs. If this was a real episode, it would be my favorite. :pinkiehappy:

"Well, awesome!" Rainbow Dash stretched an upside-down hoof out. "I can't wait to get some of that buttery stuff down my throat!"

:moustache:

I wish my cousin's little league games ended more like this. :applejackunsure:

Poor Sweetie. With any luck that Gargoyle destroyed all nearby chess supplies before heading for the mound.

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