Takes place in an alternate universe where Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to slay King Sombra.

Celestia and Luna are no more. The sun and moon have collided, and the heavens torn asunder in the aftermath of their final battle. The Elements of Harmony are missing, presumed forever lost. The fiends of Tartarus are on a rampage, and no one can stop them. And to make things perfect, the ruler of the nation of Boardor has decided to invade.
Desperate, Clover the Clever's last living student gathers together 108 virgin mares, in order to perform a ritual that will revive King Sombra. They succeed... kinda.
A human, in King Sombra's body, suddenly finds himself in an Equestria in a downward spiral with a bunch of technicolor ponies begging him to save them. Convinced that he's either dreaming, stoned, or insane, he tries to go along with it as best he can, although the voice in his head, a very angry voice with a hunger for conquest, crystals, slavery, and stairs, isn't doing much to instill confidence in his own sanity...

New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt!

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

You are Anon, and you managed to marry your love, Princess Celestia. However, fate conspires against you, and you end up bound to her sister as well.

Now if only you knew more about Luna than her name.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper