//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 
// Story: Satellite Lovers 
// by whatmustido 
//------------------------------//

	When the three of you got close to the venue, Luna stopped just down the hall. “How do you suggest we enter, advisor?”
“Flashy entrances are overdone, so teleporting to the front of the room is out. You could fly in, but you need to enter with your husband and it would be inappropriate for everypony to see him riding you. So I suggest going through the doors.”
“Simple. We go through the doors, walk to the front, and I give the welcoming speech. Gravel, you may break off from us if you would like.”
“I’ll find your special guest and make sure she’s behaving,” he said with a nod.
“Excellent. Then let us begin.” She continued walking and the three of you entered the large room.
It had definitely been modified. During your wedding, the entire place was covered in white and pink, the colors ponies use for love. The ponies occupying the room then were in even, orderly rows. Now, the place was decked out in Luna’s blue and the ponies within were chaotically placed. Premade art lined the walls and several stalls had nice pieces of jewelry or finely worked statues set up. Various gaudy artists milled about, having conversations, viewing and critiquing pieces, painting, and just generally being ponies.
The smell of wet paint permeated the entire room, tickling your nose and making you sneeze as soon as the three of you stepped inside.
That noise gave you some attention. When you were noticed, word spread quickly that their patron was finally present, and the ponies slowly stopped whatever they were doing to watch you and Luna walk to the front of the room.
Several of the artists stared at you and you started feeling uncomfortably self-conscious, wishing that Luna hadn’t made you wear the terrible suit. You were hoping they were just staring because you’re a freakish ape-thing that married the princesses, but unfortunately, you had no way of knowing for sure.
The feeling of intense claustrophobia and the uncomfortable heat in the room made the trip to the front feel a lot quicker than it probably was. Everyone moving out of your way also helped, though. Soon enough, you and Luna stood front and center, stared at by a sea of miniature horses.
You hadn’t felt that on-the-spot since you asked Celestia to marry you. At least this time, it wasn’t your responsibility to take the leap and start talking.
When Luna began her welcoming speech, you started looking around the room to pick out more details. Of course, most of the occupants were ponies, but you did see the two griffins she mentioned near the back. There weren’t any minotaurs, though there was a single cow. You also saw a few sheep painted various colors, next to a large canvas that was covered in vaguely sheep-shaped imprints, each of the same colors as the sheep. You couldn’t see Gravel Pit or anyone that looked like a vampire anywhere.
By the time the speech ended, you had the room fairly well scoped out. In short, you didn’t see anything in it that you found overly interesting. Most of the art was that shitty new-age stuff where they just threw paint at a canvas and let someone else decide what it meant instead of actually having any talent.
You couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what Luna expected when she invited all the artists, or if she was still thinking about real art when she had the idea for a convention.
There also didn’t seem to be any musicians around, though it would be pretty hard to hear them over the other ‘artists’ talking and being ponies. The room would also have pretty terrible acoustics, so Luna would need a special set-up for them.
With the speech done, the event officially kicked off. Half of the room seemed to erupt back into its dull roar while the other half started bull-rushing you. Or more accurately, pony-rushing Luna. She immediately lifted a hoof. “I will talk to you all in time, my little ponies,” she said with a smile. “But my husband asked me to introduce him to a few ponies before I started.” Some of them cast small glares your way as Luna took you in hoof and started leading you into the crowd.
Of course, you decided not to comment on what she said. You did say she could use you as a scapegoat, after all. You also kinda wanted to meet the vampire chick.
So it came as somewhat of a surprise when Luna led you out of the large observatory and down a hall. “Is your friend not in there?” you asked.
“You did not see Gravel Pit leave while I was talking?” she asked.
“No. I was looking around the crowd.”
“There is a wisdom to that. It is good that you are already watching for assassins or any suspicious characters. But you should also learn to watch for those you know. Though since you were not told to watch for him, I suppose it does not matter.”
“Do you actually expect assassins?”
“No. However, I would be stupid to believe it is not a possibility. As should you. There are many that might try to hurt us through you. Thankfully, my sister has informed me that such attempts are considerably more rare these days. Unfortunately, however, they have greatly increased in subtlety. Once upon a time, assassins wore very unique outfits that made them obvious to any outside observers. It often ended poorly for them.”
“You’d think they would have realized how bad of an idea that was, just on principle alone.”
“They realized it eventually,” Luna said. “They stopped wearing any identifying marks and picking them out of a crowd is impossible until they start to strike. That is why my sister and I typically wear our enchanted jewelry.”
“...But you aren’t wearing it now.”
She took a moment to poke the necklace you gave her. “You made wise choices when making this,” she said. “Silver holds magic very well. The size of the ruby means it also holds a large store of magic. I quickly decided it would be perfect for enchanting and would be an excellent cover, since it was a gift from my husband. It also gave me the idea to give you some enchanted items as well. They will be finished within the fortnight.”
“Well, that’ll be interesting. You’ll have to run me down on how to use them, though. Also, where are we going?”
“A nearby side room.” You wondered whose standards she meant by nearby, but given that she was turning to enter a room at that moment, you figured it was unnecessary.
Gravel Pit wasn’t there, but a very nice looking granny was. She was even knitting something. Everything about her looked like a perfectly normal old earth pony, aside from the fact that her eyes were completely blood red.
“You are slipping, Ambrosia,” Luna said with a warm smile.
“Am I, deary?” the old lady quietly asked. When she opened her mouth, you saw that she didn’t have any teeth left. She blinked and her eyes went back to normal, a nice creamy color. Her fur was red and her hair was plain white. When you were able to see her cutie mark, you were actually surprised to find it was an apple. “I suppose when you get to be my age, things like that start happening.”
“As I recall, I am considerably older than you are.”
Ambrosia set aside her needles and carefully got to her feet. “It’s the thought that counts, little Luna,” she sighed, taking a moment to stretch her back. “And it doesn’t seem like you’re too old to get married to a strapping young lad!”
“It is more of a political arrangement on my end,” Luna replied. “It is my sister that loves him. Anonymous and I have an understanding.”
“Is that right, colt?” she asked, looking at you with a toothless smile of her own.
“Less political on my end,” you said. “For me, it’s more about making Celestia happy.”
“Well, if you want to keep her happy, I wouldn’t mention meeting me. That old cow is still upset that Luna let me go.”
“I can’t imagine why,” you said. “What kind of harm would a sweet little old lady ever do?”
She started cackling for a few moments before turning back to Luna. “You didn’t tell him anything, did you? Nothing about the old Apple clan? Or about how even now, I’m the most powerful undead in the world?”
Luna shook her head. “I wanted to let him meet you without any preconceptions. He knew only that you were an eternal and a friend of mine.”
“Oh ho, so that’s why I smelled surprise in his blood,” she said as she turned an appraising eye back to you. “I bet you didn’t even warn him about my… tastes.”
“I did not, which was unfair to him. Anon, every race has different tasting blood. Older eternals slowly become connoisseurs and are always looking for something… new. From what Ambrosia told me, you are the… What word did you use?”
“Tempting.”
“The most tempting feast on the planet for an eternal,” Luna finished with a nod.
“...Did you bring me here to be a snack?” you slowly asked. Of course, Ambrosia started laughing again.
Luna blushed slightly, but shook her head. “No, Anon. In fact, I heavily advise you to turn her offer down. There are a few other covens out there, but none that would dare assault Celestia’s husband for a chance at a unique flavor. She could twist events in your favor should the others ever decide to risk it, but I do not believe it is a significant enough risk to make being an eternal’s snack worth it.”
“Now now,” the old lady said, “don’t make him wary just yet. There’s no real risk involved.”
Luna glared at her. “The reason Celestia is upset with you is because you drained her favorite general so badly that you had to make him a vampon… vampitaur so he did not perish. And then he staked himself out of shame! Imagine how she would react if you did that to her husband!”
The old lady waved a hoof. “I can’t even make anypony an eternal anymore, dearie. I lost my fangs a few years back. I can still drink just fine, but you don’t have to worry about me converting him! Besides, you’d think ol’ sunbutt would be happy! After all, this way he could be with her forever.”
Luna narrowed her eyes slightly. “Be near her forever but almost never seeing her. Or do you suddenly gain resistance from the sun just because you are married to it?”
The old lady smirked. “I thought true love could conquer all.”
“My sister and I fell for that once,” Luna said. “I have no intention of making the same mistake. Make your offer.”
The old lady turned to you with a sweet smile. “It’s simple enough, Nonny. I just want a few drops of blood, enough to get a good taste. If I like it, I’ll fill up a small vial and call it a night. If not, I’ll leave it at that. Either way, I’ll put the word out that you’re nothing special and not worth the risk. I’ll also start researching some magic that little missus Luna told me you might be interested in.”
“What kind of magic?”
Luna broke in with, “That is not important. It is nothing pressing and nothing that I cannot find on my own, given time.”
The old lady raised a withered eyebrow, but didn’t comment on that. “So what do you think, laddie?” she asked. “It’s a pretty nice deal. No risk to you, at least. A little bit of pain and some more if I like it, but I’d say it’s worth it…”
“And yet Luna said not to,” you said, looking at your wife. “Why?”
Luna cast a short glare at Ambrosia before looking back at you. “What she failed to mention is how addicting it can be.”
“If I bite,” the old lady countered. “The opiates aren’t released unless I do. It’s just a small twinge of pain. I’ve also already eaten tonight, so there’s no risk of me going into bloodlust.”
Luna shook her head. “Anon, do as you would like. I am going to the crafting hall. Meet me there when you are finished talking to her. And Ambrosia, we will meet later this week to talk. Behave yourself and do not let Celestia know you are here.”
“You know I learned subtlety a few years back, dear,” the old lady said, still smiling. “Not that anypony would ever suspect a kind old lady to be a powerful eternal, anyway. Your husband sure didn’t, after all! And besides, it’s not like your sister would actually do anything.”
“She would have a number of unpleasant words to say,” Luna replied. “To all three of us. I would rather avoid that. I will see you soon, Anon.” With that, Luna’s horn lit up and she lazily teleported out.
“Now I have you all to myself,” the old lady sweetly said, right before her eyes went blood red again. “So what do you think, Anonymous? Would you mind letting a kind old lady have a taste?”
You awkwardly clear your throat and scratch at the back of your neck. “I’m uh… not really in the habit of being a snack. Or at least, not for anyone but Celestia.” She giggled again but didn’t reply. Finally, you sighed and said, “A few drops. But I’m not filling a vial for you. I happen to need my blood.”
She waved a hoof as she grabbed one of her knitting needles. “Living is so overrated! It’s been so long since my blood flowed that I don’t even remember what it felt like.”
“It feels pretty good,” you nervously said, lifting an arm up and pulling the sleeve back for her. You weren’t about to let her get anywhere near your neck with that needle.
“I think I would remember that. After all, I was alive for quite a while before a rival from the Pear family decided to torment me with what he thought was a cursed fate.” She carefully grabbed your arm with one of her withered hooves and lifted the needle up. Before, it looked blunted. But when she pressed it up against your flesh, it actually became a black needle with a small pony skull engraved on the end.
“So you’re actually a part of the Apple family?” you asked, followed by a hiss as she pierced your flesh.
“Yes.” Before she explained more, she dropped the needle and clamped onto your arm with her toothless mouth. It felt disturbingly dry, very squishy, and altogether disturbing. After a few seconds, she ripped her mouth away with a gag, then ran her hoof over her tongue to try to get the taste out.
“Well, that’s kinda comforting,” you said, putting some pressure on the small wound.
“I didn’t know you ate meat!” she hissed in disgust, turning her blood red eyes back up at you.
“Not as often as I’d like,” you replied with a smile. “Celestia prefers it when I eat fruit. Especially pineapples.”
Her eyes narrowed and she grabbed the needle before walking back to the couch and plopping down. “You taste awful. Don’t expect any eternals as visitors.”
“What a shame,” you sarcastically replied. “Did you know there are Apples living in Ponyville? It’s not too far from here.”
“Yes. I know where all the Apples are. I’ve been watching Big Mac. He would make a perfect bruiser if I ever need more sons in the clan. But he’s far too close to someone with ties to Celestia, so I’ve kept it at watching.”
“...Do any of them know about you?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. If they did, they’d be ashamed.”
Ouch. “So uh… Why did you become a vampire when you were so old?”
“I became an eternal because a rival family hired one to turn me. He thought it would be funny to leave me old and senile for all eternity. What he failed to realize is that my mind was rejuvenated, though my body stayed old. I paid him a personal visit a few days later.”
“...Frontier justice, huh?”
She chuckled and shook her head. “Oh sweetie, there was nothing just about what I did to him. Now, I have no more use for you. Leave me.”
“Uh. Alright. It was nice meeting you, Ambrosia.”
She chuckled again, looking down at her knitting project. “No it wasn’t. You’re terrified of me. I can smell it in your blood.”
“...I’m not used to having predators.”
“Get used to it, colt. You’re a prince now. Go.” You decided leaving would be a good idea, and departed without another word.
Honestly, after that meeting, you were kinda worried about meeting Luna’s other ‘friends’. You’ve only met two dragons, and one of them tried to either threaten you or seduce you. The other was a giant that had no interest in you. And you still had no idea what a madremonte was. You couldn’t find anything about them in any book you looked through, and you had access to all kinds of restricted books.
But you were doing this for Luna, so you sullenly went to the crafting area. After asking a few people, you found her outside the gemcrafting rooms, where a giant dragon was chilling with a hoard of tools and gems. As soon as you stepped outside, his large eyes turned toward you. “I smell undead.”
“Anon just met Ambrosia,” Luna said. “And you know how she gets when around unique species.”
“Indeed.” He nodded his head at you. “Prince Consort Anonymous. I am Reginald.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” you said with a nod back. Hopefully, this guy wouldn’t be interested in tasting you. “I didn’t know dragons were fond of crafting.”
“Most of us are not,” he said. “Many of my kind prefer destruction over creation. But I have destroyed more than enough in my long lifetime. Your pretty little wife can attest to that.”
And here you were, thinking he was Luna’s friend, not Celestia’s. If you weren’t sure Luna would hit you for it, you’d say that out loud. Instead, you asked, “How long have you been carving gems?”
“For a very long time, to a mortal. Maybe two thousand years? How long has it been since the Last War?” he asked Luna.
“Which one?” she sarcastically replied. He arched a brow and she rolled her eyes. “Twenty-three hundred years or so. But you didn’t retire for another hundred years, after we mopped up the remnants.”
“Then slightly over two thousand years,” he rumbled, looking back to me. “Now, I have been curious ever since I heard. What manner of creature captures the heart of an ancient? Better yet, what manner of creature dares to steal the heart of a goddess?”
“I’m a human,” you said. “Evolved to be the perfectly tireless predator. If humans want something, they’ll get it. We don’t give up, we don’t lose sight of our goal, and we don’t lose heart. On average, at least.”
He smirked, showing off some very large teeth. “It amuses me to see pride in one’s race. Especially in one so far from home, where he finds himself the unwilling ambassador for his entire species. What you said may or may not be truth, but it must be true of you, at least. Little else would dare to try kissing the sun, let alone try to steal the moon as well.”
Luna finally stepped in. “He has not made an attempt at that, Reginald. He and I are married by vow only, and have come to an understanding.”
“I see. So your heart yet remains unclaimed?”
“And will for a while longer,” Luna said with a nod. “Not that there would be many that would care for the heart of the feared sister.”
“Aside from those who knew you before, perhaps?” the dragon quietly asked.
“Among them, none could love me, nor would I ask for any from them. I do not believe love can bloom on a battlefield, and that is all life in the olden days was.”
Your turn to chip in. “The world’s at peace now, or at least that’s how it looks to me.”
“And yet I remain as disinterested as ever,” she shot back. “As I told you, I need time. I am still recovering and I do not know where I will be mentally and emotionally in a year, let alone in a normal lifetime.”
The dragon snorted slightly, sending out steam that made you start sweating in your suit. “There are those that would wait,” he rumbled.
“More fool them,” Luna said. “My sister and I are barren. It makes sense for one such as Anonymous to seek love from one of us, but for one to whom children are possible, we are a bad choice. But enough.”
The dragon snorted steam again. “Very well. It dampens the belated wedding presents I brought, anyway.” He pulled aside a small tarp on the ground next to him, revealing two figurines carved from a large gem. One was Luna, carved from a tanzanite. The other was you, carved from a diamond.
“Impressive,” Luna said as she grabbed the statue of herself and floated it over so she could get a better look.
“How did you even know what I looked like?” you asked as you walked over to grab yours.
“Pictures and a description from another dragon I met in passing,” he said with a shrug. “Thankfully, I have several magnifying glasses for fine detail work that makes reading pony newspapers easy, though it took me a while to find a papercolt brave enough to deliver to my cave. I’m sure being given a bag of gems a month helps gird him.”
“So you finally learned how to read?” Luna asked, smirking. “What happened to it being a waste of time and beneath you?”
“Without you here to torment, I grew bored quickly. I decided to learn to read and write, though finding quills to fit me was difficult. As was finding a tutor. I’ve since written several books on dragons and history that your sister decided to immediately confiscate.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “That is definitely something she would do. I will find them and have them published. I can only imagine the depths some would go to try to learn more about your kind. By the moon, I fear for any that would try to follow one of your migrations!”
He chuckled, which made the stones around you start shaking slightly, and nodded. “Indeed. I actually heard there were a few interlopers at the recent one. Hopefully next time, they will not need to risk death to find answers.”
“Or perhaps we can warn everypony,” Luna said. “But anyway, I need to find Poira before she gets into trouble. I will come back and find you before the night is out.”
Reginald nodded. “I look forward to it. I will likely not return come the morrow; I have been contracted to carve a few things in Germaneigh and need to get there soon.”
Luna smiled. “You know where I will be, should you ever like to continue our talks.”
“I’ll certainly keep in touch,” he said before turning to me. “It was a pleasure, Anonymous. Take care of your wives. Especially Luna, though she’d never admit to needing help.”
“I’ll certainly try, though she might smack me around if I watch her too much.”
Luna smirked. “No, I would just give my sister ideas. Horrible, horrible ideas. And make that potion again, this time with a stallion’s fur.”
“...You’re evil.”
The dragon barked a laugh. “Just you wait, human, and hope you’re never on her list. I still remember the time she turned me pink for twenty years!”
“Perhaps you should not have taken the last roll,” Luna said. “Besides, you got so many suitors!”
“Male suitors. And it wasn’t even that good of a roll. Far too hard and not enough gems.”
“And it was mine,” she said. “Anyway, I will see you again soon, Reggie. Anon, come. It is time I introduced you to the strange one.” She started walking away, her figurine trailing behind her.
“She’s the strange one?” you muttered as you followed her, pocketing the statue Reginald made for you. You couldn’t help but wonder what made this one so strange, compared to the creepy ancient vampire and the large crafting dragon that apparently liked smaller, dark blue alicorns.