Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria...

One week ago, Twilight Sparkle was crowned the fourth Princess of Equestria. Tonight, Ponyville hosts the 1003rd Summer Sun Celebration, and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna want a vacation. With two fine young princesses like Cadance and Twilight to take over for them, nothing could possibly go wrong.

(Title image hacked together from vectors by sakatagintoki117 and Chrome-MMVII.)

Inexperience is a foreign concept to Celestia. At least she thinks it is. Right up until the moment a rash decision leaves her with a student who is a dozen years younger than what she's used to.

Enjoy.

Have you ever heard strange voices in your head? Have you ever felt like your life is being observed or controlled by some omnipotent being? Twilight Sparkle has, and it's driving her up a wall; the FOURTH wall! Watch the hilarity ensue as Twilight hears the soothingly manly voice of yours truly!

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]

(Clean family-friendly comedy with adorable Celestia being adorable, absolutely nothing explicit) Now with youtube readings! The Gentlemanly Reading by The Magpie, the Scientific-Plushie-Method reading by HanaYoriUta, And the Manly Reading by CaptainBron3y!

Should you find yourself a visitor to Equestria, it would benefit you to be able to tell a pony's rubby-tubby from his or her boop-button and fuzzy-wuzzy. Herein is your definitive guide, written by an expert upon the science. Published with the royal approval of Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna and the silent tolerance of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia.

Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.

Inspired by this thread by Nuke

This story is a sequel to How many friends have you made today?!

Things are a lot better for Anon since the events of Ponyville. His store is doing great and he enjoys the company of all his friends. As the days go on, he finds that the problems of the past are quick to haunt him as he is forced to face the one thing that hurt him the most.

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

Celestia loves Twilight Sparkle. That is a fact, an indisputable constant of the universe. What that love means, however, is much less certain. The love of a teacher. The love of a friend. The love that Celestia dares not name. Every tick of the clock demands her answer, for while Celestia is timeless, Twilight is not.

Celestia has only a single lifetime to make her decision, but Twilight will wait. She always has, and she always will.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Editing performed by the very talented Knight of Cerebus

Winner of the Seventh Bimonthly Twilestia Contest

A sleeping Rarity mysteriously appears in her friends' beds, and nopony knows how or why. Her friends are determined to discover the truth behind Rarity's night-time snuggling spree.

Twilight receives an invitation from Cadance to the Hearts and Hooves Day Gala, but is confused when she realized that Cadance thinks she already has a special somepony in her life.

Celestia receives a similar invitation, but is more confused at Twilight’s confusion. They were already dating weren’t they?

A Twilestia story if you did not get that already.