Princess Celestia has inspired many writers, artists and poets over her centuries as both ruler and Princess of the Sun. Now she invites one pony to do a special task for her.

A tale of poetry, pornography, puns, printing presses and pretty pony princesses.

Audiobook by Illya Leonov, ft Luna Farrowe and Shadow of Cygnus

Cover image by Linnpuzzle
Edited by Solstice Shimmer and BaeroRemedy.
Special thanks to Dr Bethan Tovey for help with the Old English.

“How is it that gems like these are always hidden so deep? I love your poetry, can't get enough of it.”

— SillyMare

“This is just really stellar, I hope everyone checks it out.”

— PresentPerfect

“A concept which in the hands of just about anyone would have become empty prurience is instead warm and brilliant and funny and just lovely.”

— GhostOfHeraclitus

In a city as corrupt as it is beautiful, a private investigator searches for her missing lover, a cop on the verge of busting open Canterlot's biggest crime syndicate.

But in order to find her beloved Twilight Sparkle, Rarity will have to enlist the help of Canterlot's former chief of police and Twilight's mentor, Celestia. And as the two race against the clock to save a life, they will have to ask themselves what's worth fighting for in a city that's already lost its soul.

(2021-03-09) Featured on Equestria Daily!

Pre-read by Snow Quill.

This story is a sequel to Sunbeam

Long days at the shop are made at least somewhat more bearable by friendly voices on the phone, and Kat is no exception. That she’s far more competent than most parts people is the cherry on top.

We work on fleet trucks, mostly, and a few company cars and favors for the boss cars. So when Kat called and wanted me to look at her car, I didn’t know what to expect.

It wasn’t what I was expecting.

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Clover the Clever, Student of Starswirl the Bearded, scholar of magic, bearer of the Flames of Friendship, and hero of the fledgling nation of Equestria has just finished his latest quest to apprehend and stop a master criminal and insidious sorceress. Now he must contend with a task that is often more difficult than it appears: returning to the life he left when he went on his journey.

The chronic and rampant memory loss the witch left him with is not going to help.

Written for MagnetBolt as part of the annual Jinglemas Secret Santa Swap!

Prepread by the lovely Wanderer D and Cynewulf. Any typos and errors left are my own. Those two are good, but not miracle workers.

Levi Williamson, Esq. barely even noticed as the program called CelestAI expanded its reach from a child's video game to every significant industry in the world. He probably would've continued to ignore her, were it not for a single gag gift at his firm's charity raffle. Now he's the not-so proud owner of a brand new PonyNav, the latest in vehicle navigation software for people who don't want to use their smartphones. His new AI copilot might be cute, but she's clearly more than she seems...

He's not the only one. PonyNav devices are available in all sizes, from the simple dashboard models to commercial vehicle upgrades. Every commercial PonyNav includes intelligent routing for bridges, weigh stations, and truck stops. And if you're having trouble lining up contracts, CelestAI probably has some deliveries in mind...

Updates Tuesdays.

Part of the Optimalverse universe of stories. If you've never seen a story in this universe before, you might want to try out the original first, or at least my first. None of my previous work is required to understand this one, however.

Every time I think I'm done with Optimalverse, some new idea appears. This one began as a commission for Goodluckfox, who gave me the tremendous opportunity to write a new idea in a universe I love.

As usual, particular thanks go to my editors Two Bit and Sparktail. And gratitude to Zutcha as well for the cover, in case anypony hasn't seen my stories before.

Tracy Maxwell is in a desperate situation: find somewhere to live, or lose the internship he needs to survive. After exhausting every property in the city, one last option appears the day before his deadline. Sure the agent selling the place is a little weird, and more than a little overeager to get the property signed off. At the worst, maybe there's a little mold in the bathroom somewhere, and he has to make do until the lease is up.

But then he steps inside and discovers things can be much worse. The property is in another universe, and while he's there he'll have to play by its rules. He's free to continue working his dream job, so long as he keeps to the contract. Even worse, he's got a roommate who has no intention of leaving him alone.

If he ever wants to escape, he'll have to read the Fine Print.

This story now has a hardcover! If you'd like one of your own, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story is a commission by _Kenzu_!

Vinyl's best friend is a little bit too "friendly".

With the Storm King defeated, a large portion of his military equipment was stacked into munitions dumps for later disposal.

Skyswirler saw this as an opportunity to skywrite higher than any other hippogriff had ever gone. After all, the solid rocket boosters used for rocket-assisted airship launches were just sitting there. Nogriff would miss one or two. Dozen.

Enormous credit to Xepher and his Iron Author contests, as well as Kris Overstreet, creator of the epic Changeling Space Program and The Maretian.

Queen Chrysalis planned for months to finally take Canterlot for herself. Months of reconnaissance, bribery, and maneuvering to finally lower the defenses of the Equestrian capital at just the right moment. But while her stated goal was always to have enough love to feed the desperate Swarm, the reality of the invasion was something else.

The queen spawned thousands of drones, filling the sky with untrained warriors in order to marshal the greatest forces when the day of battle arrived. But then that day came, and they won. Now what? Most of those drones didn't even matter enough to earn a name, and so they will probably die unremembered. But at least one is determined to make something of herself in her queen's new world. She's determined to understand these strange creatures called ponies, and to survive the invasion no matter what.

Begins during a reimagined Canterlot Wedding. Updates every Wednesday.

Sponsored by TyrannisUmbra on my Patreon. Edited by Two Bit and Sparktail. Cover by Zutcha.

Applejack realizes one morning that Rainbow Dash has apparently moved in with her. This discovery surprises Dash more than a little, too, and sets off a chain of events neither could have imagined.

The original minific version of this story came in fifth in the Dec. 2015 Writeoff Association contest, "Things Left Unsaid." And the full, three-chapter-and-an-epilogue version won 3rd place in The Fourth AppleDash Contest: A Little Twist of Lemon using the categories "A Life-Changing Event" and "An Important or Memorable Date."