Alpine Mk. IV
Sunbeam II
Admiral Biscuit
I glanced up at the clock, our faithful Monroe clock that we’d been given for selling a bunch of shock absorbers and struts during a promotion. Five o’ clock, quitting time.
Except when it wasn’t.
Jayson was back in the shop, buttoning up a GMC that we really needed to get done, both because the customer kept calling asking when it would be ready, and because it was occupying our best hoist, the only one that could lift it. Fuel lines and brake lines and everything that went with that, the entire thing was a horrorshow of rust from front to back. I’d padded out the labor time as much as I thought I could get away with, and it still hadn’t been enough. The only thing that had gone right on the truck was the fuel cooler; it had been so rusted it crumbled and fell off when Jayson put his impact on the first bolt.
We also had a new apprentice who was on his last week’s grace as far as I was concerned. It wasn’t that he was young and didn’t know what he was doing, that was to be expected. It was that he didn’t listen and then he lied. I’d already told the boss, more than once, and he’d already had his one and only ‘come to Jesus’ meeting.
Five o’ one. Kody, the new kid, stuck his head in the door. “Hey, uh, if you don’t mind, I’ve got, I’m supposed to be at a birthday party.”
What did he break? “Alright, get out of here.” I’d find out, and it might be better for both of us if he wasn’t around when I did.
The phone jangled, and I instinctively answered it. “DeMars Electric, this is Dennis.”
“Hey, Dennis, still at it?”
“Yeah, Kevin, what’d you break this time?”
There was a hearty laugh on the other end of the phone. “Well, I ran over a nail. Inside dual.”
“Of course it was.”
“Think it was a nail, anyway, roofers have been slinging them all around. I’ve been parking on the street. Well, turns out that I didn’t know it was flat until the tread came off.”
“So we’re not patching that one.”
“No, but that’s not the bad news.”
“Body damage?”
“Not so much.” I heard a thump, like a fist on steel. “These Reading bodies are tough. Just scuffed the paint. Oh, and took out a bunch of wires that are important on the frame.”
“How important?”
“Stalled and won’t restart.” Kevin laughed again. “I’ve got a wrecker on the way, how long you going to be at the shop?”
“We closed five minutes ago,” I told him.
“Got it. I’ll leave the keys above the visor, not like anyone can steal it. Good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks, you too.” Just what I needed, another dead truck in the lot. Probably took out the wiring for the fuel pump. That was supposed to be inside the frame rail and protected, but a flap of tread might manage to hit it.
Five thirty, and the phone had finally given me a minute of peace. The wrecker still hadn’t shown up, which was just as well. I locked the front door and turned off the office lights, then went into the shop to see how Jayson was coming along.
“Ten more minutes, boss.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He stepped out from under the truck and wiped some diesel off his hands. “Brakes are done and bled, I’ve got the lines routed, just putting them in the clips and then it’s a matter of priming the fuel system and we’ll be good to go.”
“You never give me good news unless there’s bad news.”
Jayson cocked his head over to the other bay, where a half-finished Ford sat on the hoist. It looked like Kody had made good progress, the front brakes were assembled and one of the wheels was on.
“Shake it,” Jayson suggested, then returned under his truck to finish his work.
Did he not preload the bearings? It felt not exactly all right, but not too loose. I gave the wheel a spin, wincing as I heard the rotor grinding against the caliper bracket.
I wasn’t going to let Jayson completely spoil the surprise, so I took a good look at the other side to figure out what he’d done, or hadn’t. Kody’s channel locks were still on the hoist arm, and I used them to rock the dust cover off. Nut on, castle washer over it, cotter pin in, it looked okay.
And then I saw the old rotors, grease seal still in them, which meant so was the inner bearing.
The cordless phone was in my pocket, just in case, and I considered calling him and telling him just what I thought about doing half a brake job, then I had a better idea.
“I’m going to put this back together the right way and ship it,” I decided. “See what he says tomorrow when it’s not here.”
“Put the grease seals back in the rotors so he doesn’t know.”
“I’ll go one better, we’ve still got those scrap inners from Craig’s truck, he won’t know the difference.”
Jayson’s ten minute estimate was off; the plastic bleeder screw broke off in the filter housing and he had to pick it out. Fortunately, we stocked replacements, and I was just buttoning up the Ford when the GMC rumbled to life.
“Smells like success.”
“You sure? There’s a big puddle under it.”
“No there isn’t.” But Jayson leaned down and checked anyway, then gave me the finger.
“One more favor,” I told him, pointing to the Ford. “Run that around the block and make sure it’s good.”
“Ten-four.” He hopped in the truck and I hit the door button.
A successful day, and only an hour of overtime. Even more successful if lying about this mistake was what got Kody fired.
Jayson had just pulled back in when the phone rang. Well past closing time, I was under no obligation to answer, but it might be the driver of the Ford, and I really wanted him to pick up his truck before Kody came in tomorrow. “DeMars Electric, this is Dennis.”
“Hi, Dennis!” A voice I knew well, one that almost never called me. “Hey, why are you still at the shop? Don’t you close at five?”
“Hi, Kat.” I couldn’t help myself, I was already grinning. She had that effect on me. “You know how it goes.”
“I’m galloping out the door at five,” she admitted. “Before they find just one more thing for me to do.”
“It was an important mission,” I assured her. “I’m the boss so I know these things.”
I could almost hear her sticking her tongue out before she spoke again. “So if you’re still at the shop, you wanna take a look at my car?”
“Your car?”
“Yeah. Take a look at it, maybe ride in it.”
“Well, we’re not—” I didn’t want to let her down. “Are you close?”
“A few minutes, I just had to make a stop but I can be there soon.”
“Okay, yeah. Do I need to hold on to Jayson?”
“He’s still there?”
“Yeah, it’s a long story.”
“Do I need to be your hero again?”
“You’re my hero every day.” There was a long enough pause that I thought I’d said something wrong. “Kat?”
“You’re so sweet, even when you try to hide it.” She giggled. “Just you, okay?”
The first time I’d met her had been a complete surprise. Women in the automotive world were rare enough, and her voice and cheerful disposition were always a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stressful day. And she was competent, far more than Bryce at Auto Value, and the prices were competitive enough we’d switched to Tonawanda Auto and Truck Supply as our primary supplier, which had earned me her direct line.
Now that I knew she was actually a unicorn named Sunbeam, I didn’t think she had any more surprises up her sleeve, or wherever unicorns hid surprises.
Of course, I was entirely wrong.
The last time I’d seen her, she’d been driving a beat-up Caliber with a missing hubcap. This time, she arrived in a sleek yellow British convertible. I didn’t know my classic British cars, but it reminded me of a Triumph.
I waved through the office window, but didn’t remember until she knocked on the front door that I’d locked it an hour ago.
“How’s business?” she asked as soon as she stepped through the door. “I bet I know.”
“I bet you do.”
She glanced over at the Delco box on my shelf, the one the fuel cooler had come in. “You cheating on me?”
“Catalog says you don’t stock fuel coolers.”
“If they’re available aftermarket, we could. You gotta call me and tell me parts you can’t get,” she said. “Maybe I can find a way to get them. Mind if I use your computer for a second?”
“Sure.”
Watching her use the computer was weird. She moused with a hoof, but used her horn to type, each key briefly glowing in turn.
She’d never told me how she used the computer, although I’d heard the rapidfire clicks on her end and wondered. Now I knew, and it was honestly kind of freaky, like the computer was possessed.
“Hmm, Dorman’s got one, sixty dollars cheaper than the AC Delco.” She switched between the tabs. “Doesn’t show inlet and outlet pipes in the picture, what happened to the old one?”
“Rusted off.”
“Not much use if it hasn’t got them, then,” she decided. “Might be in the box and you gotta screw them in yourself, I’ll get one and see.” A moment later, a cell phone floated in front of the screen and snapped a pic. “It’s a Dorman so we can list it and sell it even if it’s crap, someone will want to buy it. I’ll just take a look when it comes in, I’m friends with all the parts guys.”
I wanted to ask her where the phone had come from, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Some things were best left a mystery.
“So you wanted me to look at your car?”
Kat nodded, and pointed out the window. “I thought you’d like it.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing, really.” She frowned. “It’s old, and there’s still some stuff that needs to be done, but it’s mostly done. Got it back from the tinbasher a week ago, got some paintwork done on it, and picked it up today. You want to go for a ride?”
“I’d love to. What kind of car is it?”
“A Sunbeam, would you believe?”
“No.”
“1965 Alpine Series IV. I kinda liked the looks of the 30s Sunbeams, but they’re really expensive, and this was more in my budget. Maybe if I ever win the lottery or something.”
“You bought a car named after yourself?”
“I’m not so vain,” she admitted. “The car was built before I was born. I can’t say the same for the Sunbeam appliances in my kitchen, though.”
“You bought kitchen appliances with your name on them?”
“Of course I did.” She reached up a hoof and booped my nose. “You’d’ve done the same if there were appliances with your name on them. Now come on, let’s go driving.”
When she got in the right side, I thought she was expecting me to drive, until I remembered that it was a British car.
Riding on the left with no controls was weird enough; that a unicorn was driving was just the icing on the cake.
The car was tiny and open and all the other traffic felt like a threat. She kept to less-busy streets, heading north on 429 until we got in the country.
“There aren’t any proper hilly or winding roads around here,” she admitted. “That’s where this really shines, it corners like it’s on rails, and hardly weighs anything. Before I got any of the bodywork done, I took it to a road course in Batavia, and that was a lot of fun. It was supposed to be for motorcycles, but I persuaded them to let me run my car around the track. There’s a go-kart track in Niagara, but I don’t think they’d let me run this on it.”
“Not really a lot of good options around here.”
“I take what fun I can find on the few twisty roads where I can get some speed up.” She pointed a hoof back the way we’d come. “In hindsight, I shoulda bought a boat, there’s a company called Sunbeam Yachts, did you know?”
I honestly wasn’t surprised.
“Hundred thousand or more,” she said. “And I haven’t found one for sale on this side of the Atlantic yet. Still, it would be an adventure to sail it all the way from Italy, don’t you think?”
“Do you even know how to sail a yacht?”
“No, but I could learn. When I came here, I couldn’t drive a car, either.”
We ended the evening at Franco’s Pizza, sharing a white pizza at a window booth where she could keep an eye on her car. I couldn’t blame her, I would have done the same in her shoes.
The poor waitress couldn’t figure out who to give the check to. I suppose this particular situation had never come up before.
Kat giggled and slid the folder to herself, sticking a credit card inside before setting it back on the edge of the table. “I usually order takeout,” she admitted. “Or delivery, if I’m at work.”
“Do you have pizza back home?”
“We didn’t used to,” she said. “Not like this, anyway. A lot of street vendors had veggies on flatbread, which was kind of the same. Maybe some day you can come over and I can make a plakous for you, a traditional one. Or as close as I can get with the ingredients I can buy here.”
“You don’t have to go to that much effort.” Although I was curious.
“I really should cook more and eat out less,” Kat said. “You humans make food too easy to get, I think. And it costs more for fresh than packaged.”
“Yeah, it’s a crazy system.”
“I’m not going to be able to sleep right after eating this much so late. You want the leftovers? ‘Cause they’re only going to tempt me.”
I wasn’t proud, so I nodded.
By the time we got back to the shop, it was fully dark. I couldn’t help but look at the vehicles we had: the Ford was gone and Kody was going to get an earful in the morning. Kevin’s truck sitting across two parking spaces and I was tempted to look and see just what the inside dual had taken out, but that would be a problem for tomorrow.
“Don’t forget the pizza.”
I nodded absently, and picked it up.
“Sorry to keep you out so late.”
“It’s fine, I had fun. All I was going to do was watch sports highlights on ESPN anyway.”
“You sound like a guy who needs to be rescued from himself.” Kat leaned over and nuzzled my arm. “Goodnight, Dennis.”
“’Night, Kat.” I fumbled for the door handle and opened the door; she waited until I’d gotten into my truck before pulling out of the parking lot.
I waited until I saw her taillights vanish on River Road before starting my truck, wondering what had just happened.
By the time I got home, I still didn’t know.
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You're gonna have to write another sequel about their second date, you know.
Oh, Dennis... A pretty
girlmare doesn’t take you out for pizza in her classic British roadster if she just wants to be friends.Pack a toothbrush if she invites you over for that hoof-made plakous.
From an old comedy routine
"Where am I going to find a place to go 100 mph?"
"Any side street in town".
This is cute!
I hate those pauses.
Mechanics have odd dates.
I love how you managed to get me so invested in these characters in only a combined 6000 words! Your PoE universe is really the best on this site!
part 3 or riot
10785319
Toothbrush? What's that for?
This is a really cute story. Sweet stuff.
Now we know Dennis's last name isn't Cuisinart.
An open convertible in New York? I hope this story takes place during the summer, especially once night falls. I don't like the cold, so I can't imagine owning a convertible in a northern state, where I wouldn't get to take advantage of the car nine months out of the year. Although I suppose ponies, with their natural coats, would enjoy having the top down further into the spring and autumn.
Did Sunbeam actually have to work late or did it just take her an hour to work up the nerve to call?
I like the story, but just a comment: the shop talk in the beginning went on way too long. I went into this with a smile on my face because I remembered the first one, but by the time Sunbeam showed up in this I was ready to do a text search and skip ahead.
I think it's called a "date"
Given how friendly they are she could just want to be friends. She doesn’t, but it is possible.
From the description: "That she’s far more competent that most parts people is the cherry on top."
Do you mean "than most parts people"?
Date that unicorn already Dennis.
Or rather date her again.
Central PA or WVa might have what she's looking for ...
Daaaaamn, I'd never thought I'd hear Niagara, Tonawanda, and Batavia in a horse fic.
There's a little too much automobile jargon for me to follow, but overall this is a nice classic human-meets-pony slice of life.
Also, are you sure this is a fic about cars? Because I think I see a ship sailing in the background.
Delightful!
You got booped, dude.
10785660
SE Pennsylvania is pretty up and down twisty once you get out of all the towns. More people though, so you'd likely be risking a lot more taking blind curves at speed.
D'aaaawwww how cute.
> It’s a Dorman so we can list it and sell it even if it’s crap, someone will want to buy it.
That still has me chuckling.
Loved the story.
Seeing a sequel pop up for such a fun and uniquely detailed story made my day !
In both this story and the original, the finer details with part numbers and job descriptions made for a good story while managing to stay away from the common writer’s sin of being over-descriptive. The way it’s written just works.
We all love Kat.
This is wonderful and I would love to have more if you feel like it
This is short and sweet and absolutely delightful. I know nothing about cars, but the details in this give it a level of realism that just works. Chill slice of life that's just good for the soul.
Loved it!
This story of Kat will blow your brains out! And you'll never see it coming!
(Yes I'm referencing a decade old videogame shut up)
10785632
I hope we don't have to wait another two and a half years for that sequel.
It's weird to see city names from around here come up in a fanfic - the concept of a unicorn cruising around western NY in a cool old import car never crossed my mind before now lol
I do like the shop talk, but then it's familiar. It'd be like talking about mixing drinks in a bar setting and I was a bartender or someone that hung out at bars. Even if I didn't it lends atmosphere and 'reality'. (write what you know I think it was Spider Robinson that said it) Its another reason why I follow your escapades in your shop talks. It brings back memories and you write them so well. The motorheads will like this one... but I could see those without any knowledge of cars or trucks being a little lost; because you write about such varied things it forces me to look stuff up, too, and it doesn't bother me at all. I guess not everyone was tearing brakes apart at 7 and pumping gas, but then most people don't have pilot licenses or CDLs either and reading about them is interesting, too. Anyways, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Thanks for the entertainment.
Ah, banter.
10786019
10785474
For when she asks him to stay the night at her place. Of course
ifwhen that happens, Dennis' co-workers are going to needle him relentlessly for details."Details man! You cannot just disappear off with a flippin' unicorn to her house overnight and not have some juicy tale to tell!"
"Fine! Do you really want to know? We
made sweet love,had sex, rutted! Hot, sticky, steamy sex all night long!"We did things that would make your toes curl, things they do not have names for and would get you censored from 3 major religions and 6 minor ones. They will have to invent new similes for this level of exuberance! We made rabbits look inadequate!
"It was so passionate the neighbours smoked a cigarette when we were done. We ploughed each other so vigorously, so thoroughly, I am surprised we can see straight, let alone walk!
"IT. WAS. AWESOME!"
"Whoah... Really?"
"Nah, we played parchessi, and I gave her coat a good currying, and then we went to bed."
10785304
I'd be upset if there wasn't more, this is some good stuff
Very true.
You, my dear shonen-level dense protagonist, just had a date.
Awesome sequel, loved it.
Sunbeam III
"Hey, Bud."
I looked up from the maze of wiring that I had pulled out from under the 2015 Ranger. Somewhere in the spaghetti was at least one place where a pack rat had lunch, and it was proving elusive. "What's up?" I called back at the manager, who was standing in the open bay door, looking up into the sky.
"Your girlfriend got a pegasus friend?" he asked.
That was worth putting the wiring mess down for a minute and going over to see what he was seeing. I looked up into the bright morning sky for a few minutes with a gradually sinking sensation. "Maybe," I responded.
"Better give her a call this weekend." My manager vanished into the building, most probably to get his cell phone to get a picture like I was afraid several hundred other humans were doing at that very minute. Above us, a line of clouds spelled out the reason.
H-E-Y-D-U-F-U-S-C-A-L-L-H-E-R-T-O-N-I-G-H-T
10786063
"Grind it! Grind it, just grind it some more!" That cracked me up. The one about nothing but left gloves, though... that hit close to home so that one really got a belly laugh out of me!
10786188
This should be in the sequel, Admiral.
Next week, maybe?
10786188
That was good and it was funny.
I kind of got the context when I read the original story, and liked it well enough.
Having since worked at an unnamed auto parts store since, BOTH pieces hit home a lot more.
I hope to see yet more. Excellent work, dude.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks ponies would gravitate towards products that share their names.
Or Mustangs, Pintos, Broncos...
10785660
I can vouch for Central PA. I've been on several cruises through there.
10785717
Or an Amish buggy...
camo.fimfiction.net/XsBIuMPmteaxL_ODHtTW8CMQ6pxuTWGehhbqPsAGTMM?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com%2Ff%2F2908cd95-ef02-41e7-a303-eeeb79bd81af%2Fddszqk4-5e1389d8-c735-4ff6-9f93-df2b3854e847.jpg%2Fv1%2Ffill%2Fw_1280%2Ch_854%2Cq_75%2Cstrp%2Funtitled_by_alwaysdressesinstyle_ddszqk4-fullview.jpg%3Ftoken%3DeyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9ODU0IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMjkwOGNkOTUtZWYwMi00MWU3LWEzMDMtZWVlYjc5YmQ4MWFmXC9kZHN6cWs0LTVlMTM4OWQ4LWM3MzUtNGZmNi05ZjkzLWRmMmIzODU0ZTg0Ny5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTI4MCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.fkvVccmA3tR69Te7UPAb1ScofDt27cwMw_q0jgw7-PA
That's from a Mustang cruise I was on some years back in Lancaster County. I believe the road pictured is sufficiently hilly and curvy for a British roadster.
The urge to just ship is always a strong one, and I constantly find myself drawn into both writing it, and encouraging others to do so.
I wouldn't say he is oblivious, but a bit slow on the draw. Don't worry, he will figure it out soon enough.
There are MANY things about ponies best left a mystery.
This was definitely a better deal: I can't stand sports CNN these days.
D'aww.
I ship it.
10786099
But then, these two don't seem like the type that need flashy fireworks to have a fun night anyway. 
Honestly? Part of me expects that's exactly how it'd go down--play some parchessi, brush da pony, and then sleep.
I like to think sunbeam also has this vintage sunbeam toaster. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OfxlSG6q5Y
10786099
You went to bed? Details! Her bed or on the couch? Did you two snuggle?
Ahh it’s so good just like the first one! Can’t believe we gotta wait another 3 years for the trilogy ender!
These little "we got everyday troubles at the garage - oh and the occasional unicorn" semi-short stories made me think of the initiating concept of the webcomic - The Whiteboard.
Your everyday humour is wonderfull and I dig the amount of research and silly real world facts you've woven into these.
"If you cross the rails or end up in the river you've gone too far"
I've driven (on bike though) after similar directions before
Oh, dear, some human is in so much trouble and has no idea. This is going to be hilarious. I'm looking forward to WHEN YOU WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTERS!