• Member Since 1st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Baal Bunny


Part of the AugieDog family of companies


E

Applejack realizes one morning that Rainbow Dash has apparently moved in with her. This discovery surprises Dash more than a little, too, and sets off a chain of events neither could have imagined.

The original minific version of this story came in fifth in the Dec. 2015 Writeoff Association contest, "Things Left Unsaid." And the full, three-chapter-and-an-epilogue version won 3rd place in The Fourth AppleDash Contest: A Little Twist of Lemon using the categories "A Life-Changing Event" and "An Important or Memorable Date."

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 113 )

Absolutely adorable. I'm glad you didn't make this too much longer, or I would have had to worry about it in the AppleDash contest. :ajsmug:

6793116 pah! It should have been longer, so it could be entered! :rainbowwild:

This is how I picture AppleDash happening. Slow but increasing friendship that ends up being more without them immediately realising it. Exactly like this.

Nice touch making Fluttershy's fantasy confession an anime-style one. Otakushy FTW!

6793116
6793177
6793143
6793240
6793277

Thanks, folks!

I was seriously considering trying to do another 4,000 words so it'd be long enough for the contest--going back to AJ's POV for the show, then over to Dash again for the after show festivities--but I decided against it.

6793394

I'm not much of an anime-watcher, I fear, but I'm glad to see that I've got the right mind-set for it!

Mike

That was really nice, and it had a good flow to it.

I can so buy the idea of AJ and Rainbow being the last ponies to figure out that they've been a couple for a few years now.
:applejackconfused::rainbowhuh::facehoof:

Next up, Pinkie is given the go ahead to throw the "Happy you're a couple now" Party. She has been saving this one for at least 3 years now.

No pressure or anything but you should totally add more to this story. It was short but very sweet, and rolled real nicely. You did very good job at writing this, and those ideas you mentioned that you didn't put in could be perfect chapters by themselves. Hope to see more writing from you, and keep up the good work

That was sweet and enjoyable.

As I was reading this I expected the story would turn Meta and the two questioning how and why they got together and finding a lot of blank memories Rofl. Well I'm glad I was wrong. Still. A good read as well.

I have to admit, I feel like the second half of this story was repetitive. I think it would have been better if it was much shorter, something like Rainbow Dash starting to hoof the syrup over to her marefriend, pausing as she abruptly realizes "When did Applejack become my marefriend?", then shrug and pass over the syrup resolving to ask her later, because "she keeps track of stuff like that".

6795642

I like the style of thinking there, at least if this were a comedy, but it's slice of life. It might have been slightly repetitive, but I believe there was a purpose behind that, which was to provide parity between their two thought processes. It was short enough and their epiphanies different enough that I, personally, felt that it was plenty compelling.

I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.

Yes, Applejack remembered every step along the way: grinning and elbowing each other out in the woods or kicking around Ponyville, compadres from Dash's first week stationed here; standing with shoulders pressed together in pride when Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle moved into the apartment above their cutie mark assistance clinic downtown; nuzzling more'n a little drunkenly at Mac and Cheerilee's engagement party; Dash staying over the whole week after Mac had loaded his things up and carted 'em to Cheerilee's place; the two of them clinging together those long, dark hours after Granny Smith's funeral.

Okay... The skill it takes to paint a story THIS vivid in so little words is what keeps my hope for this fandom burning strong.

I'm watching you, now... and there's nothing you can do about it.

Craine...

This is so wonderfully heartwarming and believable and sweet.

It's so beautiful. This is them, through and through, upside down and sideways.

wow an AppleDash oneshot not by Shortskirts got featured, been a while since that happened.

"Mac and Cheerilee's engagement party"

0/10, wrong One True Pairing.

I kid. It's always a great sign when characters are sufficiently themselves that I don't have to remind myself that I'm supposed to be reading in a particular voice. Well done all around.

AppleDash so cute!! :ajsmug::rainbowwild: The prose read smoothly and are beautifully vivid, so while I'm sure another 4000 words would have been good, I like the shorter version here. I think it compliments the epiphany elements nicely.

Spent less than 2k words, made me desperately want more.

You have serious writing talent.

Because she was her marefriend, no doubt about it: Dash'd pop any pony in the jaw who tried to say otherwise. Of course, she'd probably pop any pony in the jaw who called her and Applejack a couple, too, now that she thought about it, but that was beside the point.

:rainbowlaugh:

"Got another batch outta the icebox while you was upstairs."

Is using the incorrect form of the verb a southern thing, or is it just a grammar error?

Anyhow I really enjoyed this little one shot. I say it's a very nice read.:scootangel:

~Leonzilla

Dawwww, love me some AppleDash! And the nonchalant was just perfect! Couple small errors I noticed, but this particular issue with tense irked me.

Even sucking down a pancake, Applejack still managed to gave that low chuckle of hers,

Should be give if I'm not mistaken. Keep up the excellent writing!

I don't like AppleDash.
That's just my opinion. I don't really like the ship. I don't see the appeal. I don't see the romantic chemistry.

...but I love this little oneshot.

Not even 2k words, and I'm loving a story about a ship I hate.

That's talent.

Headcanon: small details aside, until/unless she shows us otherwise, this is how Applejack and Rainbow's relationship in bookplayer's Lost Time worked during the missing years.
Because I just finished reading the newest chapter of that.
Any case, I loved this story in the Writeoff, and the additions only make it better! Dash's parallel revelation fits nicely. I only know it's been tacked on because I more or less watched you tack it on.

Short, sweet, and absolutely brilliant. This story fits their personalities, and everything works well together. Good work!

It's so kawaii, I'm gonna die!
Seriously though, cute little story, I like it ^-^

6797587 Trust me, it's a Southern thing.

Clever pun with Flap (Rainbow Dash) and Jack (Applejack).

Genius.

The name of this story makes me think it's a clopfic.

I rather enjoyed this. I like how you made their relationship seemed so feel natural to them, that they couldn't even pinpoint when it started. It, from what others have told me, is what it's really like when you meet the right one. Things just click in such a way that it seems like you've been with that person your whole life. The translation from that real life feeling to here loses none of that.

Wonderful little slice of happily platonic life

This was so sweet, enjoyable, and felt like it fit the character's personalities. Exactly the kind of thing that most AppleDash fics don't get right. While I still maintain that the ship wouldn't work out, stories like this are good enough to make me forget that fact and just revel in the feels. Well done!

6801295 You and I have very similar feelings on that one.

Sure it's trying really really hard to be cute, but there's not really anything here. Its nice that there is not a broken wing/leg/appletree used as some overdramatic tool to force the ship, but this is just the opposite. 'They are together just because' dosen't do much for me.
Well written but kind of a vapid riff on AppleDash fics rather than anything else.

Nice work. The added length and Dash's section remove that air of Applejack suddenly finding herself plopped in another timeline. It's still less of a story than it is the culmination of one, but it's a satisfying culmination.

6802427
Actually this is a pretty good example of how a lot of healthy relationships happen, slow and steady and boring as can be from an outside point of view.

up vote and favorite

This story is really cute and heartwarming, and really well written.

Wanderer D
Moderator

Aww. Very nice! I approve of this ship and more so of your writing it.

6793116
6793177
6795642
6797439
6797901
6803362
6813800

Well:

This is me making it official--if all goes well, I'll be tacking another two chapters onto this and turning it into a story long enough to enter in the Appledash contest. Because I can't ever leave well enough alone! :twilightsheepish:

Mike

6813991
Even better! Good thing I was already giving this one my all, or you'd blow me out of the water, easy.

But I wish you the best of luck, AppleDashers should know a contest is always most fun with great competition! :rainbowdetermined2::ajsmug:

...What was that ending?

Applejack couldn't keep her ears from folding. "'Doesn't sound natural,' I reckon you mean."

He nodded. "Glad you agree. So spill."

Ooh. Mac, you sly dog...

Login or register to comment