All of Which Makes Me Anxious | At Times Unbearably So

by shortskirtsandexplosions

White

Octavia Melody is still snickering. She and Vinyl Scratch are halfway through the parking lot between the movie theatre exit and their separate cars.

“Okay... I hate to admit it, but I had a blast...” Octavia gestures with both arms. “An absolute blast!”

Vinyl smirks. She adjusts her shades under starlight. Crickets perform meager symphonies from bushes flanking the street lamps and parking spaces all around.

“I mean... I have read alll of the memes regarding that feature, and Rotten Tomatoes certainly wasn't too kind. But...” Octavia shakes her head with an immutable grin. “...it really has to be seen to be believe! How relieved I was to know I wasn't the only person laughing in the theatre!” She winks at Vinyl. “I could have sworn I heard you give a chuckle or two?”

Vinyl shrugs. She charades “cat paws” before forming a tight “circle” with both sets of fingers.

“Snrkkkttt...!” Octavia covers her mouth as her face turns red. “No I do not wish to see the mythical 'cat anus' edit!” She doubles over, laughing.

Vinyl catches the teenager before she could fall over. Both enjoy a breathy wave of snickers.

As Octavia calms herself, she gazes peacefully at Vinyl in the moonlight. “Y'know... I must confess... I was truly hoping we could have done something... … ...a little more special for your birthday, Vinyl.”

Vinyl cocks her head aside with a curious expression.

“But...” Octavia weathers a long-winded sigh. “It just wouldn't be you to settle for something that isn't simple.” She gulps. “That's what I admire about you, Vinyl. You're such... a clean slate. You're selfless and reflective and... so... so very pure.” Her cheeks start to turn red. “That's why I've thought of the perfect, most deserving gift for you...”

A confused look crosses Vinyl's face. Suddenly, her shades reflect Octavia's pursed lips—drawing closer.

A deep intake of air: Vinyl leans back sharply. She immediately regrets doing so, wincing at the full arc of her flinch.

Octavia is left leaning forward, her kiss grazing nothing but night air. She blinks a few times, then gazes at Vinyl's body posture with legitimate surprise. It takes her breath away.

“Vinyl...?” She leans back, looking delicate. Fragile. Wounded.

Vinyl clenches her teeth. Her heart is beating a mile a minute. It summons the sweat from hidden pores all across her neck and shoulders.

Octavia clutches the air next to her face. “But of course,” she murmurs. “I see,” she breathes. Her eyes turn glossy, but they're accompanied by a peaceful smile. “... … ...it was too soon.”

To that, Vinyl can only wince harder. She holds it in. She holds it in...

“I... I was being too fast,” Octavia says. “I'm terribly sorry. You...” Her voice shakes a bit, but she steadies it with a beautiful expression. “You've been so... so wonderfully patient with me. All these days. Listening to my incessant prattle. Humoring my mood swings. I've been a zig-zagging Spitfire, but you remain my constant plateau.”

Vinyl's lips quiver. She stands in a slump, rubbing the back of her neck, trying to summon something—anything...

And that's when she feels Octavia's fingers clutching her other hand.

“It's okay, love...” Octavia sniffles. The gloss in her eyes are now twinkling stars, receding. “...I can wait.”

Vinyl finally summons a smile. It's a reflection of Octavia's. For that, she feels immeasurably guilty. She closes her eyes, thankful—as always—that the shades mask so much.

Comments

[Scholarly-Cimmerian]

Ouch. Poor Vinyl, and poor Tavi too. Both for different reasons, of course, but even so...

Nicely done. There's a lot that's said (and unsaid) in these short chapters. I'm impressed with that! The conclusion of this one in particular was really well-written...

[Borg]

I feel you there, Vinyl.

But this is no way to go about things, for either of you. I know it's scary to rip off that band-aid--Celestia only knows how long it would have taken me if we hadn't had a pre-set expiration date because frankly we're weird--and it's going to hurt, but you know you're going to make 'Tavi wait forever and I know that hurts too.

But oh, now I'm thinking about the terms and conditions and I can't help but laugh. We were in a sense inevitable; so many people in high school knew we were dating that we were never going to escape without giving in to peer pressure. Even if we had held out past graduation we were never going to get the idea out of our heads. We did make it all the way to the end of senior year though before we finally seriously talked about it, and our top priority was always that we avoid accidentally ruining our friendship. So we swore: we would date through the summer, and come fall we would amicably go our separate ways to our separate colleges, and above all there would be no drama. And we really thought we could keep these promises; we're both reasonable, easygoing people, and I don't think either of us had ever engaged in any real interpersonal drama before. You might have believed us too, had you known us. And it seemed to have gone well at first; neither of us disputed that it was time for this to end when fall came, and our friendship seemed--was, in fact--stronger than it had been before. But in fact we were both still hung up on the relationship; my friend was lonely and wished for someone to hold, and had nobody to wish for other than me but knew that (as had just been demonstrated) I could not fill that role, and I wished more than anything to understand why it had ended, why I could not be that person. And this presented a problem: we normally confided in each other when we needed to talk about something, but each of our issues was exactly what the other one needed to not hear. And thus we found out how we do drama: apologetically but inevitably, and slowly over the course of years. And it was kind of awful, but also objectively kind of ridiculous.

I'm glad that's now something in the past that I can laugh about.

[Future Regret]

That’s a hard situation right there. It’s such an easy out to escape breaking a painful truth but we all know it’s gonna bite her in the ass- not that we wouldn’t have done the same thing