My name is Celestia. I am the ruler of the country known as Equestria. I raise the sun every morning, and my sister guides the moon across the sky at night. My student is now a Princess as well, something that I am so very proud of.

But not everything is fine.

I have been able to hide it from my sister, my student, her friends and every pony that comes to me during court.

My name is Celestia.

And I'm falling apart.

Literally.

A/N: Super-short story I just put together because I wanted to. Everything was done in less than 60 minutes, so it might be a little spotty.

This is meant to be a (mostly) comedic take on the subject of a person ending up in Equestria as a red and black alicorn. Please read at least chapter one before down-voting into oblivion. Edited by DarkParable and Xanathar, so go check their stuff out.

I got this comment from Xanathar while being literately sick with a fever:

Don't worry. Looks like you are just a niche author.
Your writing is too confusing and smart for connoisseurs of red and black alicorns, but too esoteric and rough for high-brow crowd. For example, you still don't fixed seven improper uses of then in the second chapter of Rare Source. Every orthodox grammar nazi closed tab after second improper use.
Probably you never will be a popular author. Deal with it. I'll fain take you anytime than 99.9% of shit featured on the main page.

Then I thought: Challenge accepted! Muhahahahahahahahah!

The idea of this fic just kinda flowed from there. (The slip-up has been corrected, by the way.)

Onward towards this train-wreck of a idea that amused me while sick!

Don't expect frequent updates or this making sense. Tags updated as I write. For the League of Humans Acting Villainous

Pic made using Generalzoi's Pony Creator while laughing uncontrollably. Link in the pics source.

Banishment.
Such a powerful word with such a simple meaning. A word most ponies never hear in their life...
"Twilight Sparkle,"
A simple word meaning to be sent away as a form of punishment...
"You have been proven guilty,"
But I haven't done anything wrong, have I? Anything to deserve to be punished? Being framed? Is that a crime?
"You are banished from Equestria,"
Why would they all just give up on me? I know the truth, but they refuse to hear it. Why won't they just listen?
"You are required to leave at once."
Just listen.
Before war overtakes us all.

Featured-- 3/5/14
Give cover art respect where it is due, meaning this guy.

Rainbow Dash has never been to the eye-doctor. One afternoon Twilight takes her to the clinic to check her eyes after a minor flight accident. They end up finding out something that makes no sense whatsoever to any pony in Ponyville.

Woke up this morning to see that my random story that was published for no reason got featured 2/28/14. I'm not complaining, but it isn't a work of art :P. I guess anything a teenager writes about multicolored ponies amuses you.

At her coronation after-party, Twilight gets a little freaked out at the prospect of growing into her new life, especially one specific aspect of it. She knows better than anyone that talking her problems over with a friend can help tremendously, but she doesn't have many friends with whom she'd be comfortable talking about this particular problem, let alone ones who would really understand what she's going through.

...unless she broadens her definition of "friend."

Now with a reading, courtesy of PresentPerfect! Go check it out, if you're so inclined.
Ahora en español gracias al maravilloso trabajo de SPANIARD KIWI!
(Now in Spanish thanks to the brilliant work of SPANIARD KIWI!)

It is said the River Styx seperates the land of the living from the fields of the dead. Every mortal eventually finds themselves crossing the black river of woe with its odd ferryman to meet their final resting place. The only question Twilight has is this.

Why was she here?

Big thanks to my editor, SirTruffles, for all his help and hard work!

Name: Lyra Heartstrings. Occupation: Cartoonist.

Lyra makes a big splash in Equestria when she gets her new animated series for children on the worlds No.1 network. The show in question: Only Human, which centers around a group of these mythical creatures called 'humans', straight from Lyra's imagination, who become friends as they overcome life's obstacles together.

With the help of her executive producer, Bon Bon, Lyra starts to make an unprecedented impact in Equestria. Making friends, enemies and... other.

Can Lyra make it in the world of television? Will the Equestria take to these new 'humans'? You'll have to tune into the Pub network every Saturday at 1PM to find out!

Cover by Arby-Works

Edited by Spabble

This story is a sequel to Faster

Fluttershy had the best, most loyal pony in the world as her fiancee. But after the events of Faster, Rainbow Dash is gone. Now, weeks after the funeral, she still blames herself and own weakness for Dash's death. She also has questions. Who is this bigger, stronger pony glaring at her in the mirror? What hasn't she been told about Dash's death? When did this giant hole appear in the side of her bedroom wall? Why is she suddenly so quick to anger? And how will she handle the fact that the reports of Dash's death have been slightly exaggerated?

The kindest, gentlest, most soft-spoken pony in Ponyville is about to become the strongest pony in all of Equestria.

What happens when she gets mad?

Sequel to Faster. Featured 2/7-2/9. Added to Twilight's Library 2/7.

Note: I have left enough clues for you to piece together what happened without having to read Faster, but really, you should read Faster before reading this. It's a Nolan Sequel, not a Burton Sequel. (In terms of a continuity, I make no promises as to quality)

Additional Note: Because Knighty is a tyrant, I can't tag everyone on the poster, because my poster has six characters. But rest assured, I didn't work this hard on a sequel to Faster without eventually getting around to the fate of Dash.

Artwork by: 2153D (Sadly, probably our last collaboration due to his site retirement)

Pre-read/Produced by Cola Bubble Gum.

Additional pre-reading by: Space Commie

Edited by Sharp Spark and Cola.

Executive Produced by: Skeeter The Lurker

Being the mayor of Ponyville is not easy, not when you have the Elements of Harmony and the Cuite Mark Crusaders always causing trouble. Mayor Mare has a solution however, a Bachelor auction and Big Mac is the star of her little show. Follow Mac as he goes through his own personal hell, while the other stallions seem to be enjoying themselves!

Stallions on the Block: Big Mac, Soarin, Braeburn, Bulk Biceps, Prince Blueblood, Flash Sentry, Caramel, Thunderlane, Dr. Whooves/Time Turner, and Spike! Also two new ponies that you might be able to recognize.

Written by: Captain Unstoppable
Jake the Army Guy
Featured Story?! Thank you all!

Update: Since all of you have been debating the age, Jake and I have decided that the ages are as followed. Main Six are in their early twenties. CMC/Spike pre-teens 10-12. Mac mid twenties.

Thank you as always to jszellmer for the edits.

Thank you to KarmaDash for the idea bouncing along with Shrapmo as well.

Finally thank you mcwhale4 for the great cover art!

Also, here is what Auction has been like for Jake and Cap
Enjoy!

Since their first day being Power Ponies, Spike's marefriends have returned to Canterlot's House of Enchanted Comics for more adventures. One afternoon, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash are enjoying a supertastic escapade as Radiance, Mistress Marevelous, and Zapp. The number one written rule of these enchanted comics is simple: the fantasy will not end until the narrative plays itself out. One problem, though. For this particular "adventure" to end, it's written that Mistress Marevelous and Zapp must kiss. Passionately.