//------------------------------// // Special: Synergy // Story: Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production // by Smoking Gun //------------------------------// Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production Special: Synergy By Corey W Williams “You have ELEVEN new messages.” BEEP! “Um ... hi. Hey. It’s um ... it’s me. Karen. I um ... I hope you get this, Daily. Give me a call back. I’m sorry for the calls this time. I’m not drunk this time or anything. Please call me back.” BEEP! “Seriously, please call me back. I’m not drunk. If I’m slurring or anything, it’s just cause I’m tired. I work long hours and ... yeah, call me back.” BEEP! “Okay, so yeah, maybe I’ve been drinking a little. I’m not gonna lie. I mean, not anymore. But you know, I’m still alright. I just want to talk, okay? Call me back ... please ...” BEEP! “OH, look at you! Big stallion too busy to return a call to his ex-wife! Too good to be talking to an executive, huh? I know that’s what you’re thinking, that I’m just a huge sell-out. That’s why you won’t call me back. Well at least I actually HAVE a job. How dare you judge me, you pretentious little shi-- BEEP! “Okay, look, I’m sorry. I lost control there. I mean, I said some things, but you know, that was five minutes ago. I’ve matured a lot since then. Like... that’s all in the past now. We have to move on. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Call me back. I promise I won’t yell.” BEEP! “YOU ARE SOME PIECE OF WORK, YOU KNOW THAT?! I mean ... I call you practically crying and you won’t even call me back?! How cold is that? You never used to be like that. It was ... I mean ... “You ... you used to be the sweet one.” BEEP! “... what happened to us? Really? I was always the cold one before, not you. Heh ... I remember when I used to get angry and yell about work or production and whatever. I remember going off for hours at a time ... and you’d always used to give me that smile and say ‘Feel better now, sweetie?’ And if it was anypony else saying that I’d punch them in the face, but the way you did it ... it didn’t matter how mad I was, I’d always laugh. “You’d always find a way to do that. You could always make me laugh. “... I miss that.” BEEP! “Do you remember the night of the premiere? After we got booed out of the theater? We ran and somehow we ended up at the fountain at the mall. There was some crappy music playing over the speakers and my makeup was running down my face. I was screaming at ... well, everything really. “I just couldn’t believe it. How could something we poured our heart and souls into turn out to be such a failure? I was sitting there crying, saying I was so sorry because ... well, that was why I worked so hard on it, after all. It was your dream. I felt like it was all my fault. Like I failed you. You didn’t say anything. “And eventually I grabbed you and yelled ‘WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE? SAY SOMETHING!’ “And then, without even looking at me, you said ‘Hey, are they playing Safety Dance?’ “And I said ‘Um ... what?’ “And you were like ‘I love Safety Dance, we should dance to it!’ “And I sat there for a minute, thinking to myself that my husband has obviously gone insane and that, as if this night wasn’t terrible enough already, now I’d have to have him committed. Because clearly, insanity is the only explanation for somepony ever saying that sentence after being thrown out of a theater. “I just started stammering. ‘But ... but the premeire--!’ “And you remember what you said, right? You said ‘It doesn’t matter.’ “I said ‘What are you talking about? It was your dream! I ruined everything!’ “And then you gave that little cocky smile you always loved to give. “You held out your hoof and said ‘We’ll figure it out. Right now the only dream I have is dancing with you.’ “It was the corniest, trite crap I’d ever heard. And it still managed to make me blush all the same. “... you know, you’re the only pony on this planet who could have gotten me to do that. We danced at a fountain to the Safety Dance, in front of a mall full of ponies. I was shocked when a bunch of ponies joined in, jumping up and down like idiots. It was foolish, embarrassing, and ridiculous, just like the damn song. “I had a smile on my face, even after getting booed out. And you were laughing like you always were. I remember thinking ‘You were always the strong one, Daily.’ As hard-assed as I always was ... as I still am ... you were always the strong one. And I knew that no matter what happened, I would be alright as long as I was with you. “Do you remember? It was one of my favorite memories ... “It was one of my favorite memories. Until you left.” BEEP! “You were the one who left, Daily. I just want you to remember that. “All those hard days when we were just trying to get back on our hooves, when we worked and failed together to try and get things together ... it wasn’t fun. I know it wasn’t for me, but I know it really affected you. And I can understand, you know? I’m not insensitive. You always were the creative, so odd jobs like janitorial duty and working as a desk clerk would always seem demeaning. I know I didn’t like them either. It was a big shock after being heads of our own production company, after all. “It was rough, but I tried to hold things together. I really did. You know that, don’t you?! You do realize that, right?! I did everything I could! “I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. I feel so stupid! It started off with little things ... you wouldn’t talk quite so much after getting home. But you said you were just tired. And I believed you. “I believed you ... “But then you would seem more distant. It would seem like we hardly said anything at all. That little twinkle in your eyes seemed to fade out. You stopped smiling as much ... then you stopped smiling at all. “I noticed that, I noticed that, and I still didn’t see it coming! “I saw you working late at night writing something and I was actually happy, I thought it was great you were thinking about production! It showed you still had hope, like I did. I was happy ... I didn’t say anything. I was thinking you were going to surprise me with it. “And well ... yeah ... I guess you could call it a surprise. “... do you remember that? You seemed really nervous and sad ... it was hard for you. I can at least give you that ... it was hard for you. “And then you said how you didn’t think you’d ever be able to make it happen, that you’d never be able to make your dreams of production come true ... until you were on your own. “You didn’t want to worry about me dragging you down. You didn’t SAY it like that, of course. But you didn’t have to. I cried, I begged, the only time I’ve ever begged for ANYTHING, and you couldn’t even look at me. “I wanted to hold it together. I really did. “You were the one who left. “You.” BEEP! “You know ... I bet I know why you don’t want to call me back. You think I’m a sell-out. You think getting drunk and ranting to you all upset on the phone is something I deserve, now that I’m an executive. Don’t pretend like I don’t know that’s what it is! After all, you were the one who called an executive a ‘heroin-addicted vampire with a third-grade education’ at the staff meeting where we finally quit. You hated executives! We both did. And now you think I’m a big hypocrite for it all. How mature of you! “You’re just like the new skank I work with. Oh yeah, I bet you and her would get along swimmingly! SHE doesn’t care who she affects with her crap either! “Well guess what? You and I ... back then we failed because we had no clue what we were doing. All we really cared about was what WE wanted, OUR vision. And the sad thing is that that only gets you so far! “We didn’t understand sacrifice. We didn’t understand compromise. I do now ... but I don’t think you do. Maybe if you DID, you wouldn’t have left. But no, it was easier for you, wasn’t it? It was easier for you to leave! “You don’t understand sacrifice. You don’t understand that in the position I am, there ARE no easy decisions. There ARE no right answers. If I make a decision that benefits one pony, it will inevitably affect dozens, hundreds of others, maybe more! Every decision has a risk, every decision has weight. “You don’t understand. You don’t understand having to decide whether to pick up the show that’s an innovative, interesting idea but is so controversial it might cause media backlash! You don’t understand having to decide whether to hire the one voice actor who actually acted better, actually deserves the part or the other one who is more famous and would be a bigger draw to give the show a better chance to last! You don’t understand deciding whether to cancel a show that is critically acclaimed, but is so expensive to make that having it last another season might drastically affect the budget of every other show on the network! “And this is not something I just have to deal with every now and again. I struggle with things just like that EVERY DAY. I have to get up knowing that every decision I make is going to benefit some ponies and completely stomp the dreams of others! I’ve had to make the call to put writers with families out of a job! The one I actually talked to on the phone actually cried right there. Do you know what that DOES to you?! “Even if I quit, which would be a dumb, DUMB idea, but even if I did ... I still wouldn’t get away from it. Because I’d always worry if the one who replaced me would be worse, if they would care less or be even more of a bitch than I am. “That’s something we never realized. That’s why we failed. The second you become an executive ... become a leader ... you’ll never get away from it. “No matter what you do ... you’re gonna carry that weight.” BEEP! “... I ... look, Daily ... I’m sorry. “I’m sorry for calling you like this, over and over again. For ranting like this. I ... I really am. I just ... I got drunk and ... I didn’t call to yell at you or anything. I didn’t call because I thought I could, I dunno, win you back or whatever. I just ... “I miss you. I really do. I ... I don’t really have anypony to talk to. Nopony who’d really care, anyway. I’m just ... I’m lonely. And ... afraid. “I hate admitting that, but I am. I’m afraid every day I get up. I’m afraid that one day I’ll look in the mirror and not recognize the mare staring back at me. That one day there won’t be anything left of the mare who danced with you that day at the fountain. “But most of all ... I’m afraid that when she’s gone, no one will even notice. No one will even miss her. Not even me. “I just ... I just want somepony to talk to. I spend so much time alone, I can’t stand it. I feel like nopony knows the real me. Nopony but you. I don’t want to lose myself. I ... I need you. Even if you don’t love me anymore, I need you. I just ... “I just need somepony to talk to. “... please ... please tell me when you listen to this ... you’ll call me. Please. “Please.” BEEP! “End of messages.” That was the last message, but Synergy already knew that before the answering machine said so. She sat on the worn living room couch, taking in all that she had heard. When Synergy first woke up with the hangover from hell and saw the message on her machine and heard her own voice, she almost laughed. Though she didn’t remember much about last night, she must have gotten sauced if she got so drunk she called her own house phone by mistake. Again. She didn’t know what it was about the cell phone that made it a lightning rod for drunken stupidity, but there it was. But then she listened to the messages, the ones she didn’t even remember making. And she realized who they were meant for. She didn’t think it was funny after that. Synergy stared at the answer machine for a long time. Despite her best efforts, there were tears clinging to the corners of her eyes. She thought about everything she’d heard in her own voice, things she’d never said ... thing she’d never even known how to articulate before. At first she was thankful that Daily hadn’t heard it. After all, it was just her rambling like an idiot ... But all of that emotion ... Synergy couldn’t remember when she had displayed that much emotion. Maybe if he could just hear it ... maybe if she sent the tape from the answering machine to him ... maybe. Synergy thought about it for a long time. She was already late for work, but she barely cared. She wanted to send it to Daily, wanted it more than anything else she’d remember wanting. Eventually she sighed and hit the button on the answering machine. The machine chirped at her. “MESSAGES ERASED.”