The voice on the other end took a long, hesitant pause. "Um, no, that doesn't exactly sound probable,"
"I can't even fathom the concept," Nurse Redheart began, " I mean, as a medical instructor, I know that technically speaking your outside appearance has little to do with your internal anatomy. However, the irony will eat me alive if further tests prove her colorblind positive."
" I'll collapse in my chair and explode in hysteric laughter. The ponies in the lobby will think I need to go to a mental hospital!"
Redheart grinned. " Luckily you'll already be in a hospital."
"Ok, enough with our impractical jokes," The desk mare chirped. "As much as I'd love to purchase a bag of popcorn and watch the show, she's still a patient, and we're still employees. Do you want me to inform her entourage or not?"
"Feel free to inform Miss Twilight. Don't send her up, though, until I confirm this obscurity." Nurse Redheart answered.
Nurse Redheart placed the landline back in its respectable position, and then shifted her attention to Rainbow Dash. By the looks of it, Rainbow had witnessed the entirety of her brief conversation, as her pupils were fixed on the mare's face when she turned around. However, it was not a face of anger, hate, depression, anything emoting negativity. On the contrary, she appeared, well, oblivious. No reaction was painted across her forehead, not a hint of expression. Nurse Redheart was perplexed. However, before she could announce the following test, Rainbow raised her voice.
"What's colorblindness?"
...
...
...
"WHAT'S COLORBLINDNESS!"
How she didn't know, Nurse Redheart could not comprehend: even if her life depended on it. One of the most basic concepts in the book, one that fillies ten years younger than her understand, yet she hadn't the slightest clue. All hope is lost, she said to herself. This is a lost cause.
"I mean, ahem, I apologize. I only overreacted because it really is a topic you should've learned in your early educational years. Did you not learn this as a filly?"
"Pssh, no," replied Rainbow Dash. "Back in my day, the only thing we studied was why Pegasi have a need for speed! Well, and all the exciting classes necessary for performing the responsibilities of a pegasi; we've got art, weather science, physical education, and animal science. That's about it."
"Right," remembered Redheart. " Cloudsdale's educational committee only updated their educational system five years ago, because they assumed pegasi had no real need to be informed on topics that would not influence their profession in adulthood." A thought quickly entered her cranium. "Wait, did you say art?"
"Um, yeah, did you not hear me the first time around?" Retorted Rainbow angrily.
"I was kinda focused on the fact that you have not a clue what colorblindness is."
"Speaking of which, you haven't answered my question about that!" She said demandingly.
"I'm the doctor, I'll tell you in a second if you can utilize a bit of patience." grunted Redheart. Why am I doing this to myself? she questioned herself. Patients like this made her want to snap her leg off and beat the patient to death with that leg. She took a deep breath. That would be violent she thought. "As I was saying, we were on the topic of art. I mean, it was an art class. In art, they inform you about all the colors consisted in the rainbow, in order for you to excel in illustrating accurate pictures. Clearly, since you are colorblind, the colors that you used were incorrect. I find it impossible to think that your teachers did not sense any possible defect in your sight if your colors were different from that of everybody else."
"Please," argued Rainbow. "At the school I went to, the art class was an easy A. They didn't pay a single molecule of attention on what you drew on your piece of paper; as long as something was there, you got a stamp. Simple as that. At least when you were a filly, that is. Art class seemed to complicate as the years progressed, and it had absolutely nothing to do with colors. You actually had to know how to draw. In that moment, I was like, nope, nope, nope, not doing this, so I dropped out of art and filled up the gap with ISPE for flying. And people wonder how I was this good. I got plenty of practice time to help me advance in skill, obviously."
"Ok, I guess that makes sense, but..."
"But what?"
Nurse Redheart facehoofed. " It's just because, I don't know, YOU ARE A RAINBOW PONY!"
"I know I'm a rainbow pony, Redheart, I'm not an idiot," responded Rainbow. "In fact, despite what your stupid tests say, even if they are 100% proven and have applied to most people, it, well, doesn't mean anything! I know exactly what colors are in my mane.."
"Thank god, for a second I thought I was going to have to take another..."
"THEY ARE THE COLORS OF DARING DO!"
"... I, beg your pardon?"
"Oh, don't be silly, it's clear to me that the colors of our manes are the same," announced Rainbow. "Besides, why else would everybody in Ponyville tell me that I look exactly like the mare on the cover? Our colors are the only thing that I can see that are similar."
"Rainbow, the only difference between you and Daring Do are your colors," objected Nurse Redheart. She rolled her eyes. Without giving it a second thought, he trotted over to a corner lined with an array of complex machinery, consisting of tools of all shapes and sizes unfamiliar to Rainbow. "Now, Miss Rainbow Dash, you need to cooperate with me for the next few minutes. We need to conduct several more tests."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight began to feel impatient. She had been slouched in an uncomfortable seat for near 45 minutes, without receiving any sufficient results, if any. She started to worry. What was taking Rainbow Dash so long? Is there a major issue at play? She wanted to stay calm and controlled, but she couldn't expel her nervous sweating and anxious twisting of her hind legs into tight, flexible knots. She was on the verge of losing it. She needed something, anything to do that would keep her mind off of the situation at hand.
Five minutes passed. The clock on the wall seemed to tick menacingly, louder and louder as it advanced past each inch-sized gap between lines. The sound seemed to pierce her eardrums at a magnified vibration, as if the clock itself was taunting her, saying, "Hey, another minute has passed, one that you will never get back!" There came a time where she almost considered ripping it off the wall, smashing it into pieces as she threw it on the floor. But she was mature. She was calm. She was controlled. At least for a while. She made many attempts to pass the the time; once she went through a stack of magazines without overlooking anything of interest. She re-memorized the Periodic Table of Elements that had been plastered on the wall above the entrance door. No luck. Deciding that her best option was to go home and collect a book to read, she lifted from her seat, and began to amble towards the door. However, she heard a piercing announcement.
"Twilight Sparkle, please come to the front desk. Immediately."
Twilight wasted no time in working her way through the minor crowd , trying to reach the pony at the front desk. She was almost certain that she would receive news regarding Rainbow Dash, as there really wasn't any other relevant explanation. She approached the mare, who was flipping through a wall adorned with medical files. Upon pulling one out, Twilight realized that the corner of the file was labeled with Rainbow Dash's initials.
She spoke up. "Um, I'm guessing this is regarding my friend?"
The mare seated behind the table reflexively turned around, as if she had already rehearsed how she would respond. "Oh, trust me Twilight, if you thought that Rainbow Dash being one of the best fliers in Equestria was ironic when she crashes 24/7, hold on to your hats. The irony has hit a whole new level here." She laughed hysterically, like a mad mare who had an overdose of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes, and was now sugar high. Obviously whatever diagnosis ailed Rainbow was something extremely out-of the-ordinary, but for some reason that didn't seem to matter anymore. She only knew one thing.
That pony needed to be put it a mental hospital if her laughter could break the sound barrier like it just did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight felt a definite feeling of deja-vu as she was re-aquainted with with the bland atmosphere of the hospital hallways. She was accompanied this time by the desk-mare, Tracie was her name, who seemed to have a map of the building taped to the back of her cerebrum. She found an efficient route to room #345 without even second guessing her pathways that she followed, and Twilight could only follow blindly. Sure, she was usually an expert when it came to memorization, but every single hallway was identical to the next; there was no way she could take photographic memory of the buildup of the building.
When the duo arrived at the door, the energy inside Nurse Redheart's office was high in tension. Though Rainbow looked virtually unalarmed, Redheart's nerves were on a high rise. One second she was scribbling down notes at a feverish pace, the next galloping frantically across the room to fax information. Her mind was fully focused on whatever task it was that she was performing, as it took the mare five minutes to notice that Twilight and Tracy had arrived.
Nurse Redheart dropped all of her supplies and made for the door. "Oh, thank celestia you're here! I cannot stand one more second alone in this room with, her."
"What has Rainbow Dash done to you?" Asked Twilight, seeking some sort of answer after all the uncertainty.
"Things you wouldn''t BELIEVE!" she screeched. "She is uncooperative, repulsive, makes awful puns..."
"Oh please, my puns are the bomb.com!" Contradicted Rainbow. "Hey, why was the painter hospitalized?"
"I don't know, why?"
"HE HAD TOO MANY STROKES!"
*ba dum tss*
"..."
"..."
"..."
"No."
"OH COME ON!" She yelled, "CAN'T ANYONE APPRECIATE A GOOD PUN?"
"That was a bad pun, Rainbow, stop trying."
"Ugh, fine."
"On another note," Nurse Redheart broke the silence. "Tracie, I need your help, I cannot take this anyone!"
"Redheart, is there something..."
"Yes, Tracie, something is terribly wrong," She interrupted. " I tested her with everything; I've reviewed her with both Ishihara and Pseudoisochromatic plates, at least five times I have repeated the exercise. I even went to the extent of whipping out our most complex anomaloscope, with no positive results. She can't match colors, she is even deficient in differentiating shades! I didn't want to be the one to make this declaration, but there is no doubt in my mind that Rainbow Dash, is, in fact, colorblind."
At those last words, Twilight's eyeballs became paralyzed, and her hooves went numb. "Wait, WHAT?!" she chirped.
Somehow Nurse Redheart did not expect such a response. "Tracie, I thought you told Twilight this downstairs!" she questioned.
"Don't yell at me!" Tracie deflected. "I was only trying to build up suspense so that this announcement at the climax would be dramatic."
"The cli-what?" rebutted Rainbow Dash, finally throwing her voice into the conversation.
A clear expression of disbelief engulfed Twilight's face. "How do you not know what a climax is, Rainbow Dash? They should've taught you that in school." Criticized Twilight.
"They should've taught her a lot in school, like what colorblindness is." Claimed Nurse Redheart. " But THEY DIDN'T! Cursed Cloudsdale educational systems..."
Her attention quickly shifted from Rainbow Dash to Redheart. "I beg your pardon, I happen to know many collegues from Cloudsdale that were Valevictorians at Celestia's School for Gifted Pegasi."
"Don't start a cat fight, because the educational level of pegasi isn't our number one concern right know," exclaimed Tracie. "What is is the fact that Rainbow Dash here is colorblind. Now, Redheart, you can't just claim that Rainbow Dash has color defects and not explain to me what type. Explain to me what you know or are assuming is her specific type."
"I'm actually not sure, I haven't had a second to make calculations or inferences," responded Nurse Redheart. "However, when her visit first began, she was unable to differentiate the colors of blue and yellow."
"Hmm, that's strange, as far as I'm concerned there is no such thing as being unable to differentiate those two colors.." said Twilight. She immediately buried herself in thought, trying to find an explanation to the perplexing predicament.
All of the sudden, a rambunctious ruckus was heard outside, alongside the ironically steady pulse of hooves pounding against the tile hallway floor. Then, out of nowhere, the sound that seemed distant approached the door at a rapid pace. The sound was suddenly matched with a figure, one that looked way to bright to match the solemn feeling of the situation at hand.
"HEY TWILIGHT!"
It was Pinkie Pie.
The mare scuttled clumsily into the room, tripping over objects that had been placed on the floor as she slowly but spontaneously trampled through them. She wore a white nurses outfit, similar to that of Nurse Redheart's, except it has three inflated balloons replacing the medical symbol on her hat. "Sorry for coming in on such short notice! I couldn't help but overhear from the bottom floor that Twilight was confused about something! When that happens, I simply can't miss out. Once and a lifetime opportunity, if I do say so myself."
"Pinkie Pie, don't you have somewhere to be? Somewhere that you have been assigned at this hour?" Asked Tracie, a look of annoyance characterizing her expression. "You work here to work, not invade our privacy."
"Well, I did have somewhere to be," Pinkie croaked. "I was assigned to room #189, to do a kidney surgery. NO clue how I got that job. I had no idea what I was doing! I just picked up a pointy thingy and took it out. The kidney sure is a weird organ; four chambers, really muscular and sensitive too! It was connected to a bunch of red tubes, I think they were medical tubes, so I cut them off! I figured my job was done, so I've been wandering the hallway for fifteen minutes!"
Everybody in the room suddenly tensed up. "You did, WHAT?" Yelled Nurse Redheart.
"Relax, I gave the patient candy!"
"This is bad," Thought Tracie. She quickly recollected her thoughts. "No matter. We have bigger issues to discuss. Well, stranger ones would fit the term better. You see, Rainbow Dash here is colorblind."
"Well that's certainly ironic."
"Yes, clearly," Twilight answered. A light bulb went off in her head, at the sight of Pinkie's customized attire. "Nurse Redheart," she began, "Pinkie's customized hat has her Cutie mark stitched onto it. For me and you, the colors are obviously blue and yellow. Am I wrong?
"No, not at all," was her response.
"Well," she claimed, "If you say that Rainbow cannot differentiate between those two colors, than I really do need to see for myself." She tore the hat off of Pinkie's wide head, and quickly traveled over to a chair at which Rainbow sat ignorantly. "Rainbow Dash, this image is of Pinkie Pie's cutie mark. You see it most everyday. What colors come to mind?"
Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes in focus and concentration, processing the two colors before her in her mind. What were they? All she saw was a color of blandness and staleness. She shook her head, as if she was overcomplicating things. "I, sincerely don't know."
Twilight's expression flipped to utter misunderstanding. "But, I thought that before you said that these colors looked red when nurse Redheart asked you to identify red objects scattered about the room."
"Well, I don't know, everything pretty much looks the same, so I just assumed by process of elimination that everything I saw was red." Justified Rainbow.
Twilight seemed confused. "That's peculiar," she thought. "I don't know of any equine colorblindness classifications that make a pony unable to differentiate blue from yellow."
"Twilight..." Pinkie smirked, as if Twilight was missing something blaintly obvious.
"Um, am I missing something?"
"Of course you're missing something!" responded Pinkie. "No human colorblindness cannot differentiate between blue and yellow! Since we horses have dichromatic vision, and have two different types of cones, our colorblindness is an entirely different story! Though, it is kinda similar to a human's trichromic vision, you can't compare them silly filly!"
"Right, I'm mixing up my knowledge of human colorblindness with that of ponies," Twilight corrected herself. "Wait..." She thought. "How do you know about human colorblindness? The only way to the human world is through the portal in the crystal empire, and you didn't travel through with me when I had to retrieve my crown!"
"Hehe..... that's confidential information...." Pinkie backed away.
"Pinkie, is there something you want to tell us?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Um, uh, I have somewhere to be!" She shouted. "I, uh, have to check up on the patients!" WIthout a second to spare, she sprinted out the door and banged her hooves on the elevator. When it finally arrived on the floor, she quickly slipped into the compartment and feverishly clicked the button labeled #1 until the door finally closed.
"That was... odd," Thought Tracie.
"Well, it's just Pinkie, you get used to it after a while," reassured Rainbow.
Twilight allowed the party to share their experiences with Pinkie while she searched vigorously for Nurse Redheart's notes from the previous hour. She found them scattered on the floor, dirty and tattered from Pinkie's significant entrance. She bent over to pick them up with her teeth, and them brought them over to Redheart's mahogany desk, where she studied the material for five minutes before interrupting her friend's consistent complaints about Pinkie Pie.
"Ok, I've taken a glance at all of Nurse Redheart's notes, and my best guess as far as the yellow-blue color similarity goes is that she is missing cones that reflect yellow/blue color. Since those are the two major cone colonies in equine eyes, it wouldn't surprise me if that was the case. however, your notes also depict deficiencies of pretty much all colors present in the spectrum, so there is a possibility that I am missing a figure somewhere."
"Do you think that she has full color blindness of each and every color?" Questioned Nurse Redheart. "It's an assumption I would certainly make."
"I did consider that as a possibility, which led me to my second theory; she has less rods than she should, so shades mesh together enough for her to call them the same color." Explained Twilight.
"I'll take that into consideration," Nurse Redheart seemed to have progressively eased herself out of confusion, finally retaining her professional composure. "I'm going to go ahead and fax our conclusions to both town hall and addresses of dwellings associated with Rainbow Dash. Today has certainly been an odd day for the medical field, and I'm sure they'll want to know. You ponies will be released in a couple minutes. Sorry for the delay."
"No need to apologize."
Somehow, in all the activity, Rainbow Dash grew oblivious to a much-needed question that was lurking on the back of her skull for quite some time now. So many developments had been discovered, yet throughout it she never had a chance to get the question answered after asking it.
"Twilight?"
"Yes, Rainbow?"
...
...
...
...
...
"What's colorblindness?"
And nobody thinks to answer Rainbow's initial question.
I wonder how she'll react when she gets (and later on understands) the answer.
Once IN a lifetime opportunity
Using the word 'thought' to describe speaking is a big no-no. Try 'thought aloud' for externalizations of thought.
This is a weird story... *sits down* go on I suppose.
I'm not sure whether to chuckle at the fairly amusing humor or to strangle someone in a blind rage at the atrocious grammar. Or both.
Good story, clever idea, but you seriously need an editor. And I feel like I've said this before, but I just have to repeat myself here...
Oh good, I'd been waiting for this story to come back. Personally I think the Pinkie bit is just a bit too Pinkie, but whatev.
4407646
Well, realize this RD actually has no concept of what "color" is in the first place, so "colorblindness" probably wouldn't make sense anyway.
...Pinkie was assigned to do kidney surgery...and cut out her patient's heart? What?
you need to update more
Oh, man I've waited a long time for this. I can't wait to see how the rest of her friends react... So, Fluttershy and Rarity wold have a similar colour scheme to Twilight and Pimkie Pie according to Rainbow, then? How bizarre. Please update again!
How in the world did Pinkie get her job as a nurse if she's gonna cut out a patients heart instead of their kidney? I have a feeling she's going to put that heart in her next cupcake...
4407788 4407874
Personally, this had me more worried:
Bigger issues than a patient with his heart cut out? Remind me never to go to that hospital.
This story has brought to my attention a very intriguing fact:
I have absolutely no idea how to describe color to someone. By that, I mean, the concept of color. Like, I could explain the science part, namely that “color” is the term used to describe the visual differences that the brain registers when the eye is exposed to certain wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation (visible or “white” light, as it were).
But how do you explain even that to someone whose brain registers no visual differences when their eye is exposed to those same wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation? What, really, is color?
4407921
Color is a stimulation of nerves allowing you to see many different shades and depths of light in a spectrum that can be used to diff - Yeah that is kind of impossible
Why did Rainbow say people in this quote? She was not even thinking about humans so why did she say people? Is it a typo or something?
4407959
It just figures that a concept that seems so simple and elementary to so many has a recursive definition.
You know, I am in fact colorblind. However I see blues and yellows just fine. It is reds and greens that I have trouble with.
4407972
I do find that odd, like you can describe qualities in a specific taste but not the taste itself. I could say "This soup was a delicious, thick, chunky puddle of cheesy flavors and had a nice hint of onion coating the potatoes." but I can't make you taste those. (Keep in mine that this next bit of information comes from a Vsauce video.) If I was trying to describe the taste of human flesh (I know this is creepy) I would say that the flavor and texture was that of veil, but just a bit tougher and stringier, but not so much that it is inedible. (I am not a cannibal i got that from a Vsauce video) I can not put that taste in your mouth (frankly i don't even want it i mine) but I can help it get in there by describing it, (I do not 100% know for certain that that is actually what human flesh tastes and feels like, I am using a description that someone has provided the world with.) Sorry about getting a bit creepy there.
4408009
You could have picked literally any other consumable and it would have been less creepy. Maybe not less baffling, but less creepy.
Dubya-tee-eff, man? Seriously.
Dubya-tee-eff?
Me needz moarz.
One minor thing that I noticed that hasn't been touched upon yet:
I would assume that ponies would say something to the effect of 'praise Celestia,' as she is one of their rulers and generally thought of as a godlike deity.
4407906 Well, Pinkie had stated that fifteen minutes had passed, so the logical conclusion that I believe Tracie had reached would be that, the patient would have died, or been saved by other nurses or doctors. It is also worthy to not that the operating theater is neither Tracie's or Redhearts' department, (Tracie working at the desk, though it may have been in Redhearts' skill pool) so that they may not have been trained to save a patient in such a situation.
Wow, Dash sees ponyland like a classic black and white cartoon.
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/163113%20-%20animated%20griffon%20Gustave%20Gustave_le_Grand%20Hubble%20pinkie_pie.gif
And apparently that's a bigger issue than having a heart cut out.
Well, as long as nothing suggests that the patient is not a timelord/timepony then I guess it's no biggie.
The madness returns.
Replace the video he's watching with your story. That's my reaction to the amount of errors I saw.
Pinkie is Medic! Prepare for slightly gruesome miracles. Some of which may involve a shotgun.
I am also a bit disappointed that nopony thought to ask RD what the colors of the balloons of Pinkie's cutie mark were while they were talking about the blue/yellow issue.
I would like to see a chapter where Rainbow is given proper full color vision and her reactions to it. Chances are that she would just stay still as she gets high off the colors. And that's before looking in a mirror.
I'm getting hints of Cupcakes Pinkie. Scary. I can't wait to see someone try to explain color blindness to Rainbow.
4407992 That means that if you were to see the birthmark on my cheek would be green or...
Sorry, I'm just curious. No offence.
The Stroke-joke cracked me up.
4407921
4407646
4407732
All of your conversations reminded me of this.
4407788
It's not as bad when you realize they just had her playing Surgeon Simulator to keep her busy and make her think she was a real doctor.
4408102
Actually, it's canon that they say "Celestia" in place of "lord/god"-whatever religious exclamation you might be using.
Rarity's said "Oh my Celestia!" at least two-three times by now. And during Sisterhooves Social she said, "With Celestia as my witness, I will never be sisterless again!" which is a parody of the famous quote by Scarlett O'Hara of Sound of Silence, "With God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!"
Pinkie…i…i give up.
4408037
I said that it would be creepy. Here is the YouTube video I saw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWAF9PgDg2c
Just copy paste that into the search bar at the top of all pages.
4408580
For me, I might see it either way. I am not entirely colorblind and can see both green and red. As I understand it either the rods or cones are not formed properly and send incomplete/scrambled data to my brain, where it has to decide what my eye meant. As such there are occasions I can see the same item as either color.
It's really fun in games that use red/green color schemes for things.
Such as RTS games that use red/green for indicating where you cannot/can build. Or games that use green healthcare for friendly units and red health bars for hostiles...
I once found and image that had a side-by-side comparison of the same picture unaltered as most people see it and adjusted to show how red-green colorblind people see it. I could only tell very minor differences here and there. My friends response was "It's so yellow..."
First chapter was great!
Second, you lost it.
Who gave Pinkie Pie a medical license?
4409427 What did I loose? you can't criticize without criticism, or else it isn't helpful
4409452
You completely dropped your immersion, your characterization went out the window, you completely flanderized two characters, taking Twilight's neurosis to twelve and Pinkie's occasional airheads-ness to disgusting levels just for a laugh. I can see Rainbow dash as completely justified, but at the same time you've got both nurses acting 100% unprofessionally, even if one is 'just a desk-nurse'.
You were fine in the first chapter, but you blew everything completely out of proportion in the second.
Frankly, what you 'lost' is the luster and quality of the previous chapter.
Only notable error:
The 'i' should be capitalized there.
As for the rest of it....
Ehhhhhh, could use a bit of work. An editor, re-reading it and correctijg any errors YOU see, that sort of thing.
4409470 I do respect your opinion about Pinkie Pie, as she was over the top, and should have been a little more leveled . However, I feel that that is the only character as to which I flanderized, as it is natural for Twilight to be nervous for her friend, and anyone can act unprofessional when something is downright insensible and impractical. Hospital staff are used to the same-old issues if they are experienced in the field. Nurse Redheart has seen her fair share of obscurities throughout the years, I would presume, and something like this seems out-of-the-ordinary, interrupting her emotional homeostasis in a sense.
Rainbow Dash is Colorblind it creates a lot of hype.
I'll try to fix Pinkie
4409438 Certainly not me
4409470
As with many stories like this, the main attraction of it was the premise, rather than the actual execution. It is true that the second chapter is far worse than the first, though, as it completely throws suspension of disbelief out the window in an attempt to be wild, wacky, and funny; the signs were already present in the first chapter, though.
It is trying way too hard, which has a negative impact on humor, as a story should never come off as trying to be funny.
The writer is a first time writer, so it isn't terribly surprising. It happens. Most folks learn as they go.
First thing's first, you need an editor. Badly.
Now...
I'm gonna be honest: this chapter felt like you're trying way too hard. Pinkie's involvement was just...completely out of left field and random, and frankly it fell flat. Too much season four Pinkie, and that's not a good thing.
Also, your portrayal of how a medical examination at a hospital is conducted is, well...completely unrealistic. It just...doesn't quite work.
I'm still following this story, but this chapter's pretty badly flawed.
I would like to point out that yellow-blue colourblindness does exist in humans, and is called tritanomaly. It is extremely rare, but it does exist. Pinkie is, unfortunately, wrong.
You guys are right, I do need an editor.
...
...
...
Any volunteers?
4409758 Yo.
Uhh, who's Tracie? LEL
4408769
Umm... That's kinda exactly what I said, but with more evidence and an elaborated description...