Chapter 7: Ship It Hard
Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production
Chapter 7: Ship It Hard
By Smoking Gun
Two years ago:
“Woah, woah, woah! Way too fast,” Lauren proclaimed as she gazed into her monitor. She saw several animated sketches of her's in video editing software, and her mouse hovering over the timeline; one layer for each sketch.
“Let’s slow you down a bit and—”
“She said ‘we’ll see!’” shouted Lyra as she slammed through the door to their dorm, sending a startling tingle down Lauren’s spine.
Lauren took her attention away from the monitor, finding Lyra with her face buried in her pillow as she laid on the lower half of their bunk-bed. Lauren could’ve sworn that she could’ve heard a wide variety of obscenities being muffled by the pillow.
“Sweetheart?” began Lauren, “Who said what?”
Lyra lifted her head, revealing lines of tears running down her face, her pupils large and her mouth incapable of smiling. “Carrot Top!” she cried before dropping her brow back into the tear stained pillow. “She shot me down...”
After standing awkwardly for a few seconds, Lauren took a seat next to her friend, nervously looking at the cream coloured ceiling. “Umm,” she started as she patted her on the head like puppy. “There there. I’m sure she’s not worth your—”
“Of course she is!” Lyra shouted as she rotated her head so that she was looking out into the dorm. “That’s why I asked her out!”
Lauren withdrew her hoof, startled by Lyra’s shrieking. She sighed and wiped her brow. “Honey, I think you need to chill. Don’t you think you’re being a little too...” Laurent trailed off, her face contracting and showing her teeth, struggling to form anything resembling an emotion.
Lyra arched an eyebrow. “A little too what?”
“Too hipster...” Bon Bon said as she through the sheet of paper into the bin beside her desk. “Too mainstream...” Another paper joined the several that had already found a home in the trash next to rotten apple cores and Vinyl’s crude sketches.
“Knock! Knock!” called Lyra as she pushed the door open, bearing a giant grin, and her saddle bag hung over back.
Bon Bon’s bored expression faded in place of a relieved smile. “I said I had an open door policy for a reason,” she said as she waved Lyra in. “It was so you could just walk in.”
Lyra laid down her saddle bag and took the seat across from Bon Bon’s desk. “And thanks to moving into the office with the rest of us, I literally can walk in now.”
Raising an eyebrow, Bon Bon pushed her chair to the side, revealing the Hub Tower behind her. “As opposed to the fifty feet you would’ve walked before?”
“I’m a business mare, now!” Lyra proclaimed before she shared a laugh with Bon Bon. “And laziness is serious business!” she added before sighing her laughter away.
“So,” began Bon Bon, “What brings you to my side of the office?”
“Funny you should ask,” Lyra responded as she levitated two tickets out of her saddlebag. “Ditzy had to work late, so she gave me two tickets to Ponyacci tonight. Whatdya say we give humanity a break and have some fun. We’ve been working for months now, we deserve a break.”
“We all do,” Bon Bon said as she sighed and sank into her office chair. “Unfortunately that’s not possible, at least not tonight.”
Lyra looked down over the table, seeing several documents in a huge pile next to Bon Bon with one of them laid out in front of her to read. “What’s all this?”
“These are pitches for the freelance slots for the first season and the possible second season,” Bon Bon explained, gently laying her hoof on the top of the pile.
I’m sure those would be thrilling if I had the energy to care... wait, what?
Lyra leaned towards Bon Bon. “Why would we need freelancers? We have five...” Lyra trailed off as her eyes wandered to the corner of the room for a moment before returning to Bon Bon. “We have four-and-a-half-writers on staff.”
Bon Bon chuckled. “It’s part of the deals with the Writer’s Guild of Equestria. We have to allow fifteen percent of a season’s worth of episodes to be written by freelancers as opposed to our current staff.” Bon Bon laid her head into her hoof and groaned. “Unions!”
Lyra stared back, blankly. “The union was how I got the pitch with the Hub.”
“And I love them!” Bon Bon returned with a huge grin and wide-eyes.
Lyra coughed and shifted awkwardly in her seat. “Sooo, is that a no?” she asked with a hint of disappointment in her eye.
Bon Bon returned the look. “It’s a ‘we’ll see’. Maybe when this is all over.”
Lyra nodded, doing her best to keep up a warm smile for her friend. “Sure, later.”
Lyra pushed her chair back, levitated her saddlebag back onto her back and trotted out the room, making sure Bon Bon couldn’t see her frown as she left.
Left alone in her office, Bon Bon rested her elbows onto the desk, not caring that she was messing up the the nice paper that the pitch was printed on. She laid her heavy forehead in her hoofs, exhaling down onto the paper, lifting it slightly.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“No, for real. What the hell are you doing?” Lyra asked as she entered the writers room. Her look is fixed on Vinyl, has hung a portable mirror on the other end of the writers room. On the end of the desk, she has some make up, perfumes and a variety of shades laid out before her.
“I just told you, I’m getting ready for a hot date,” Vinyl responded, keeping her eyes on the mirror as she applied her mascara. “That reminds me, I’ll be heading out a bit early today.”
“Yeah, I don’t care about that,” Lyra said as she sat down in her chair at the head of the table. “What I care about is why you’re getting ready here.”
“I haven’t slept in my own bed for a couple days now,” Vinyl responded as she turned away from the mirror. “I was up late at a gig, I ran home and grabbed some make-up and ran over here.”
Feather Quill spoke up, “And in case you’re wondering, no, she hasn’t done any work today.”
Vinyl scoffed. “Ambiance, remember? And just where have you been all day, Miss Heartstrings?”
“I was meeting with our new art team, they just handed in the pilot.”
All sounds in the room suddenly vanished, leaving all eyes in the room on Lyra.
“So?” Ink Splash started. “How’s it lookin’?”
“Come on, Heartstrings,” interjected Short Hoof. “How’s your vision looking?”
Lyra looked down at the desk for a moment. A smile slowly grew across her face, one she was trying to keep hidden. “I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you.”
“We wrote the damn thing,” said Short Hoof.
“You can’t spoil an experience,” Vinyl added. “Speaking of which, Imma head and get some classy tail. See you all in the morning... maybe!”
“Woah woah!” Lyra called out, making Vinyl freeze as she donned her shades. “It’s only three, we can’t leave already.”
“Actually,” started Quill, “While you were out today, we were able to knock the last few scripts. Of course, we left the finale for you to do.”
Short Hoof chuckled lightly. “You should not show up more often.
Lyra’s only response to Short was a bemused stare.
I’m sure I’d come up with something clever if I had any energy left.
Lyra brushed her mane back and leaned into her chair. “If you guys wanna call it a day, go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
One by one, each of the writers packed their things and left. At least that’s what Lyra assumed happen as she had her eyes shut the whole time. When all sound left the room, Lyra was prepared to drift away into sleep until she picked up the scent of roses. Flashes of fuchsia, cobalt blue and cream passed through the mind before her eyes opened, revealing Vinyl sitting beside her.
Lyra rubbed her eyes. “Vinyl? How long have I been out?”
“Less than a minute,” the DJ responded.
“Don’t you have a date or something?” Lyra said as she rested her forelegs on the table.
“I’ve got a couple minutes,” Vinyl started. “She shot you down, huh?”
All thought and movement on Lyra’s end suddenly shut off, leaving a scared silence in the room.
I’m going to have to kill her, aren’t I?
Lyra quickly regained her composure and smiled and Vinyl. “Who? What do you mean shot—”
“Bon Bon, numbnuts. You asked her out, she said no, am I right?”
It took Lyra a couple of seconds for her mouth to start moving again. “How on earth...”
“Equestria,” corrected Vinyl.
“Wherever we are,” Lyra continued, “How could you possibly know I like Bon Bon?”
“I know because you have it plastered all over your face every time I’ve seen you with her. You’ve got that grin. Plus, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve caught you staring at her flank.”
I guess I will have to kill her.
Vinyl continued. “Hey, it’s cool,” she said, punching Lyra in the shoulder. “I totally get it, when we first met, I’ll admit I snuck a peek at you once or twice.”
Lyra could feel her face going from green to red. “Thanks?”
“You are most welcome,” Vinyl said without a hint of irony. “The important thing is to never let it get you down.”
Lyra tried to focus her brain power on removing the blood from her face. “She didn’t shoot me down. She’s busy. We’re all busy.”
“Yeah, well, she needs to stop being busy and start getting busy.” Vinyl continued when she noticed Lyra’s blank expression. “She needs to loosen up and have some fun, but she’s an exec. She aint takin’ a break until we’re all done I guess. Until then, get out and have some fun!”
Lyra was hesitant before asking her next question. “Don’t suppose you could... help me with that? I’ve been working non-stop since the show got greenlit... before that even.”
Vinyl gestured for Lyra to get off her seat. “I already have plans... but, I can take you with me at first to show you how it’s done.”
“How what’s done?” Lyra asked.
“How getting the mare’s is done! Come with me to pick up my date and you’ll see how to get it's done. Come on,” Vinyl insisted as she guided Lyra to the elevator.
As the elevator door shut behind her, Lyra glanced over her shoulder, looking for any signs of Bon Bon behind her. She found nothing. All Lyra found was the sound of cheesy elevator music.
“Sooo,” Lyra started, breaking the silence. “Who’s the lucky mare?”
“Her name’s Octavia. She’s a cellist for the Canterlot royal symphony. They’re playing at the art’s center downtown.”
“Wow... she sounds cool. So you’re heading down their to pick her up?”
“That’s one way to phrase it,” Vinyl responded with a cheeky grin.
The elevator made a ‘bing’ sound as it hit the ground floor. Vinyl led Lyra out as the trotted to the main entrance.
“So how’d you guys meet?” asked Lyra.
“I don’t know,” Vinyl responded. “You can tell me after tonight.”
Vinyl continued trotting until she realized she was only hearing one set of hoofsteps. Turning around, she saw Lyra, several paces behind her, with a confused look on her brow.
“I’m sorry,” began Lyra, “but are you saying that you haven’t even met this girl?”
Vinyl rubbed the back of her head and looked at the ground. “Well... not up close yet. But I’m planning on correcting that tonight.”
Lyra couldn’t form any words to respond to that.
Vinyl continued. “Now I know what you’re thinking. I saw her at the Treble Clef. It’s a bar for musicians. I was there a couple weeks ago and I saw her there and... Lyra, have you ever met a mare so hot that you just had to ask her out?”
Lyra’s eyes shifted from left to right. “Well... once or twice.”
“Then you can understand. Come on, it’ll be fun!”
“For you, maybe.”
“YEP! DEFINITELY YOU!”
Lyra’s voice was already horse, having to scream over the top of the thumping music of Treble Clef.
I swear, I’m gonna bleed out via my ears!
Vinyl, who was standing right next to her, pulled her in close to lit up her horn with magic. “Hold still, boss.” A wave of magical energy seeped into Lyra’s ears. Suddenly, all the loud noises were gone.
Lyra stuck her hoof into her ear to check her eardrum was still there. “What did you just do?”
“Volume control spell,” Vinyl responded. “It filters out all unnecessary sounds, even if other ponies can hear it.”
Without the vibrations of the music shaking Lyra’s eyes, she could finally examine the club she was in. The walls were a dark blue while the floor was a neatly polished grey. The volume control spell made for an unintentionally hilarious effect when Lyra looked at a group of ponies moshing up-and-down to no music at all.
“So where’s Octavia?” Lyra asked.
Vinyl nodded as subtly as she could to the bar behind her.
Peaking over Vinyl’s shoulder, Lyra spotted a grey mare with a dark mane, spotting a pink bow around her neck. She was sitting alone at the end of the bar, circling her hoof around a glass or raspberry schnapps.
Wide-eyed, Lyra nodded. “She’s beautiful.”
“I know right,” Vinyl said as she joined Lyra’s nodding. “Go sit in one of the booths over there. The volume control spell will let you hear what we’re saying as long as somepony isn’t talking to you. Just order a drink and pretend I didn’t bring you here.”
If only...
Lyra trotted over to a free booth and took a seat on the surprisingly comfy velvet seat, laying her saddle bag next to her. Before her eyes could find Vinyl, a waiter quickly dashed into her field of view.
“Enjoying your night, ma’am?” he asked with a gentle smile.
“Well, I’m certainly trying to,” Lyra responded, catching a glimpse of Vinyl taking a seat next to Octavia and saying something to her.
I’d listen to them, but I need to deal with this guy, I guess.
The waiter continued. “Can I get you anything?”
“Sure, just grab me some fizzy cider.”
The waiter looked a little bewildered as she magically teleported the note to the bartender on the opposite end of the room. “And done.”
Maybe now he’ll—
“So what brings you here tonight?”
Of course not.
“Oh, my friend brought me here,” she said, gesturing in Vinyl’s direction.
The waiter quickly glanced back at the DJ. “Oh! You’re with Octavia then!”
Lyra shook her head. “No, no,no! I’m with the white one next to her.”
“I see,” said the waiter. “I just assumed you were with Octavia in the orchestra.”
Lyra’s curiosity was written over her face. “Why would you think that?”
The waiter pointed straight at her flank. “You’re cutie mark, ma’am.”
Lyra looked down at her cutie mark: a golden lyre. A mark she’s had for longer than she’d care to remember.
“Oh, this is just something I’ve just got. I actually work in television with my friend over there.”
It took a moment for the waiter to be able to respond. “If I may ask ma’am, if you work in television, why do you have that for a cutie mark?”
Lyra didn’t respond, she just looked away, trying not to make eye contact. Thankfully the sudden appearance of her drink broke the awkward silence.
Taking the hint, the waiter gently lowered the drink onto the table before leaving. “Enjoy your evening, ma’am.”
Lyra took a deep breath before levitating her drink up to her mouth. Before taking a sip, she looked over to where Vinyl and Octavia were, finding the spot empty.
Wow, she works quick.
Returning attention to her drink, Lyra tilted the glass... only to be interrupted by a hard thump hitting her table, causing some of her cider to spill out onto the table. Looking at the source of the thump, Lyra found Vinyl with her forelegs on the table.
“We can leave now,” Vinyl said with a chocky sound in her throat.
“Why?” asked Lyra. “Did you get her to leave with you that quickly?”
“We..” Vinyl swallowed. “We can just go. This scene’s getting old.”
Looking closely, Lyra spotted several droplets seeping out from the bottom of Vinyl’s shades, staining her face with the mascara she had put on earlier. “Vinyl, are you—”
“I said ‘Let’s go!’” Vinyl cried as she ran for the door, slamming it open and startling the bouncer outside. Lucky for her most of the inside guests had not turned on the volume control spell.
“Vinyl!” called out Lyra as she ran out into the street.
She looked to the left and the right, but found nothing. Stepping to the other side of the street, she found herself standing underneath a lamppost, alone in the city, with nothing but the tears of her friend that had dropped onto her leg back in the bar to keep her company.
“Where have you gone?”
“Where have you been?!” shouted Ditzy as Lyra closed the door to the muffin shop behind her.
“I told you I’d be with Vinyl,” Lyra responded. She had come home so late that there were no customers in the whole restaurant. Except one.
“Really?” asked a ticked Ditzy. “Then explain that!”
Looking over to the corner near the windows at the front of the shop, Lyra spotted a while unicorn, lying against the wall with their mouth, belly and the immediate area around them covered in muffin crumbs.
Ditzy continued. “And in case you’re wondering, no, she didn’t pay for any of those. She just said ‘I know the boss’ and started eating everything she could.”
Lyra sighed, rubbing away the sweat she had built up on her walk home. “I’m sorry, she ran off after we went to the bar.”
“What the hay happened?” asked Ditzy.
“I’ll go find out. You head upstairs, I’ll clean all this up.”
“Thank goodness, I’m too tired to deal with this.” Ditzy proclaimed as she flew up the stairs, closing the door behind her.
Lyra slowly trotted over to Vinyl, taking a seat next to her, but not too close.
Don’t wanna get crumbs all over me... again.
“So how’d it go?” asked Lyra.
Vinyl, no longer wearing her shades, slowly turned to Lyra, devoid of any semblance of emotion, minus the tear stains on her face.
“Sorry, it was the only thing I could think to ask!”
Vinyl didn’t say anything. She looked up to the ceiling, knocking the back of her head against the wall she was leaning on. “You should’ve heard her. That bitch she...” Vinyl’s sniffling returned.
Lyra laid a gentle hoof on her shoulder. “Vinyl, trust me, it’s not as bad as you think.”
“What would you know about it anyway?” Vinyl snapped back. “You’re gonna end with Bon Bon!”
Whatever Lyra had to say next flew straight out the window.
“That’s right,” Vinyl Continued. “I’ve seen how she looks at you, too.”
This isn’t about Bon Bon. Vinyl needs me now.
“Vinyl, I know it hurts, but just listen.”
Vinyl ignored her friends words. “She was cool, classy, talented, and she shot me down.” Vinyl took a moment as a wave of tears came rolling out. “What does that say about me?”
“Absolutely nothing!” Lyra returned proudly. “I know how you feel, trust me. But let’s really look at this. You’ve had no interaction with Octavia before this, have you?”
Vinyl shook her head.
“No, you haven’t,” continued Lyra. “Now, if she had walked up to you, with you knowing nothing about her, and she asked you out, would you say yes?”
“Yes!” answered Vinyl. “She’s awesome!”
“But you wouldn’t know that, would you?”
“I... I...”
Lyra smiled as she lit up her horn with magic. “A few years ago, an old friend taught me a lesson: Before you can be a somepony’s girlfriend...”
Out of her saddle bad, Lyra produced two tickets. She hovered them onto Vinyl’s lap, smiling warmly at her.
“You have to be a good friend first.”
Vinyl picked up the tickets, examining them closing. “Who the hay is Ponyacci?”
Lyra chuckled as she helped Vinyl to her feat. “I’ll tell you about him on the way. But let’s get you cleaned up first. This is... at least eight kinds of pathetic.”
Next: Meet the Fans!
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Amazing as always, but a few errors are present like missing commas and this line "After standing awkwardly for a few seconds, Lauren took a seat next to her friend, nervously at the cream coloured ceiling" Which I do think is meant to be "After standing awkwardly for a few seconds, Lauren took a seat next to her friend, nervously (looking or staring) at the cream coloured ceiling"
Ouch! The feels, I think they're called. And the lessons!
Octascratch is one of my OTP's. Looks like that's not happening here.
:/
Oh well, my second OTP is already set in stone.
:)
Hers never gets an apostrophe.
Missing closing quote.
Ain't does have an apostophe.
Comma after beeyotch?
Oh my gosh, waiter, you can't just ask television staff why they're musically talented. Rood.
The tables have been turned, it is Lyra who is learned! :zecora: Nice shout-out to the Pinkie mini-comic, by the way. (Right?)
Well, Vinyltavia is my anti-OTP, because everyone flanderizes Vinyl to a ridiculous personality where it's absurd anybody would want to start a serious relationship with her. For once, it's good to see how someone as sophisticated as Octavia would actually react to someone as flamboyant and unrefined. Though, being how prevalent this pairing is, I wouldn't bet money but instead cross my fingers on these two staying apart.
2790953
It seems that you've looked at bad fic's of those two then. I know plenty were they borderline hate each other and eventually warm up to each other after seeing better sides of each other. Those I like because it shows actual growth and usually gives good reasons why they would like each other. I hate those "just because" kind of romance fic's just as much, man.
2698389
Same here.
2791054
Well, it's not that they can't be compatible. Allegro, the fic that started the whole pairing, was and still is one of my favorite pairings. It showed that each of them had a different side of them, and they each grew into a pony that the other could love.
However, this ship is so prevalent that it's more notable for Octavia or Vinyl to show up and somehow not be dating in most popular stories. And since they're almost never the primary focus in the stories, their interactions are reduced to Vinyl acting like an idiot and jerk and Octavia putting up with it because they'll bang later. I'd always accept the pairing if we see the ways they grow into something compatible for each other, I just resent this fanon where writers think they can just put these two polar opposites together and expect them to just get along somehow, instead of, well, this chapter.
2791125
Agreed and I share a lot of those opinions. Have you ever noticed that if Vinyl shows up in a story their is a 99% chance Octavia will be in it too. I've not seen anything like it with another character. It's almost like no one can imagine one without the other. I love the pairing honestly but it feels worn out sometimes. I like the occasional fic that'll break this trend. You know the ones where they are simply friends or know each othe, nothing romantic or anything. Clean and simple friendship, it can be more believable than some romance fic's you'll see of them because we all have that one obnoxious friend we question how we became friends with in the first place.
"Laurent" should probably be "Lauren", given that you've referred to her as such every other time in this section.
You're missing an ending quote on this paragraph.
"You're" should be "your", since replacing it with "you are" doesn't make sense in context.
Oh Vinyl Scratch, you complete douchebag. You wonderful, complete douchebag.
I had to hold my laughter at least twice. I'm taking Statistics and the whole room is dead quiet, except for the professor.
Good Chapter. Was looking forward to it. Will be on the lookout for the next one.
How long until "Only Human" airs? I want to see the reaction!!!
Meet the fans is next? I expect there to be nine similarly colored mercenaries and a sandvich there.
psssssst if I get to equestria before it airs, can I i livesteam the only human premiere back????
Foreshadowing, foreshadowing everywhere.
Aww, poor Scratch. I didn't think a pony so sure of herself would ever let others see her cry.
Derpy's line after we see Vinyl covered in muffin crumbs...
Love this.
Firstly.... d'awww!
Secondly: Bon Bon said as she through
* Should be threw
Thirdly: Please put in scene transitions! Like a ***** or something like that! The scene transitions are somewhat confusing without them.
2795368 If you look closely, there are the line breaks that come as part of FimFiction's writing software. They're highly faint though, so I don't like them.
The third scene (the first one with Vinyl) starts out as present tense.
This sentence needs revision.
Lyra's breaking the fourth wall
But... But Octavia Scratch! :(
Meet the fans?
I got dis
2790341
Indeed, indeed they are.
so have you just given up on disguising this?
I finally found the scene transition lines. They only appear in light mode. I've been using dark gray this whole time.
The feels
Pub
_____________________
Needs end " marks.
_______________
Poor Vinyl needs some TaviLove.