Well done, sir. Bravo.

Your story IS awesome, don't worry about it. ;3

I do wonder whether you'll think to make some sort of original story? From the way you make your stories, it seems you can pick up to the challenge if you want to.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck! =w=b

The sex and whatnot is fine and far less questionable than Butterfly-Fluttershy. Which is just

I'm interested to see how you do going from two psychological-horror stories into what appears to be mainly an action-war fic.

you wonder if you went too far with it, well in my opinion, YES, you took the inclusion of sex way too far, to the point where a lot of the time it looked like purely like sex for the sake of sex, however as I have already stated I will not stop reading because of that, the actual story more than makes up for it

2618832
I agree

I'd rather though, you make the sex scenes separate and selectable. It's much better for all the readers.

I think you did good. You kept me coming back and you had few small excusable spelling errors, which you happily fixed once they were pointed out. You were kind to the reviewers and even those who didn't like your story for whatever reason. Plus you surprised me on a few turns, which is hard to do with fellow writers (I believe). I hope the rest you take will help relax you and I am looking forward to The Code Of Harmony, so I hope you can get that out on your predicted date.

Best of luck and stay pony, Lapis Lazuli.

2618832>>2618847>>2618824

Thank you, all three of you, for your honesty. Though I would say next time? Don't be afraid to lay it on me earlier. We might've been able to avoid the problems! ^_~

I'm glad you guys are going to be sticking with me - and for your good faith in me, I'll be doing the following.

For Twilight War, I will be starting a side-story thing wherein I will put the clop scenes on your recommendations. That way you don't need to see them unless you feel the need. TBH - most of them will not be as vital to the plot as they were here (Except for the very first one but that'd be telling)

As to Butterfly Shy - This wasn't just a fetishy thing I threw in for thrills, there's a real purpose to her transformation and how it will effect a BIG chunk of the climax of the last book. Keep an open mind, I promise I'll deliver the goods!

2618748

Thanks dude. Also Beep Beep I'm a writer!

t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTaYNNIH2u89VrnWfEd6hhmeJzHBeP8CEpcAiVxkkFEJB1KspULnw
You did good, son. I'm... Proud of you...

I will have a longer review for you later as I'm at work writing this on my phone. I just wanted to let you know initially that it was a great ride so far and that I have several questions.

Also I wanted to use the only good part of the mass effect 3 ending

I don't have alot to say, just a couple things.

First, and foremost, Great stuff. I really love it.

As for the sex scenes, some seemed a bit much for what I'm interpreting as your intent with them, and too short for actual clop. They didn't bother me though, and unless someone is just strait up opposed to sex scenes in general, I don't see why anyone would have had any problem with them.

In the end though, I gotta say, one of the highlights of my day for the past couple months has been seeing an update from you.

Over all, I really enjoyed this story more than the first part. This had more drive, more intrigue and better character development.

The sex scenes had a purpose, they were not just there for the sake of sex. It gave the story a very mature and serious feel.

Definitely looking forward to the next part. Though the new Code series entry will definitely have my attention once you start it.

I said it before, but this has been one my favorite stories to read in some time. If you are concerned that your story isn't awesome, don't be, because it is!

As for the sex, it didn't bother me. Using pleasure as a form of control is an excellent psychological tool and I believe it was necessary to have the sex scenes to show how the Shadow used such tools to alter the minds of it's host. I'm ok with sex scenes as long as they contribute to the overall plot, and I feel that for this story they did.

Enjoy your rest and recharge your creative batteries. I'm looking forward to The Code of Harmony and can't wait to start reading it!

The only real issue I had with this story wasn't your fault but my own for assuming you would do something you never specified that you would do. I simply thought that Twilight would convert ponies by other ways than sex. The story itself was great, and I look forward to the final part of the trilogy!

FUCK YEAH, 'NOTHER STORY SOON!

2618888 For the sex scenes, I think they were all fine. It showed Twilight's struggles with the darkness and showed how far she was falling by how rough and dominating she was being, and cruel too even to her friends she wants to 'protect'. If the scene just fades to black before the sex scenes then came back after they were done, we wouldn't know how far she was willing to go, how far the darkness had corrupted her. For me, it seems the sex scenes are a needed part of the story, especially since it's a big driving point into why the shadow is evil and how the shadow wants to 'help' everyone.

Edit: Thinking about it now, off the top of my head, without the sex scenes really the only event we would have seen to notice that Twilight was getting worse and worse is when she killed Filthy Rich, which was a very big milestone for her. Without the events leading up to it through the few sex we saw, it probably would have looked like she was being corrupted too fast.

I SHALL FAP 'TILL THE NEXT STORY APPEARS.

I love your story even if I'm one of those people who tends to shy away from clop scenes. Can't wait for the end of the trilogy!

Looking forward for the Code of Harmony and Celes Tia's shenanigans.

So the third installment's gonna be named ''Code of Harmony''?


The foreshadowing... It makes me sad

2628929 Uh no. The Third installment is "The Twilight War"

Code of Harmony is the sequel to The Code's Apprentice. Sorry for da confusion!

2628968

^^^^
Indeed I was!

Let me reevaluate my train of thought.
img.23d.com/0001/PyH01.jpg

And all hail the Shadow!

So usually I comment a lot, but I haven't been doing that recently. I've been busy, so I decided to stop reading for a bit.
I have to say, HOLY CRAP! How fast do you write? What was it, a week or two? And you're already done.

2640984 Everything you see is published as it gets finished.

2641099
I have even less time now, so I probably won't be able to read much for a while.
You sure are consistent with your output.

I have counted no less than 20 Doctor Who references.
Also will discord play a large role in the war?

You are asking "Did I do good?". Well... This is by far one of your best works ever!

I can`t decide which is my favourite, The Codes Apprentice or Shadow Trilogy! I know the Shadow Trilogy isn`t even complete yet, but I just know I will love the next part just as much if not even more than this and the previous part.

Can`t wait to see what you have planned for the third part and The Code of Harmony!

About the sex scenes, I don`t mind them, I actually enjoy them

I said this is your previous blog and I`ll say it again. You are now my favourite writer!

Thank YOU for the best stories I have ever read! Here, have five hearts

These stories are amazing and flow very nicely! I have no clue who I want to win, but in the end I hope Twilight has a happy ending.

Amazing work deserves way MORE BUCKING recognition then it has right now.

The sex scenes do indeed add depth to how Twilight falls from grace. I wouldn't remove them for anything.

2705788 yes because it is a well known fact that only evil people have sex...

2741615
Huh? I think you fail to understand my point.
It is not the sex itself, but the way the change of state of mind is portrayed during it that truly does it justice.
I think you are implying that sex in it's natural state is normal. I agree completely to this.
I DO have some issues with how every transformation is punctuated by sex. Sex =/= Corruption. The way they do it on the other hand... Bondage? That is more an act signifying transfer of total control from one individual to another, rather than just strange sex. While the control does go to Twilight and the shadow, this is by design. The only thing the sex does is provide a very vivid transfer of control, in my eyes.
I don't say anything before because nobody asked. Just a little insight into the sentient mind for ya.

2743771 FINALLY!

Somepony who understands. :D

2743771 2743899 it wasn't about understanding it or not, it was about a rather bleak comment.

2745556
...How is that bleak?

2881498 "Wetworks" is spy-movie short hand for "Assassinations / Missions that involve killing or violence."

Well, congratulations. This story gets the award of "Most disturbing story that I've read on here that I actually liked." I wasn't so sure about the first one, but you really hit your stride in this story. The way Twilight starts off as a clear protagonist and ends as a clear antagonist without the point at which she crossed over ever being entirely clear is just great, as is the way you suddenly realize the Mane 6 have become absolutely fucking terrifying. I'm looking forward to the third act a lot.

No other story I've ever read has gotten me as willing to root for the bad guys as I am the good guys. At the moment, I'm still confused as to which one I want to win more. All I have to say is: You are amazing. You are brilliant! I don't even have the words to describe how awesome I think you are! And this is the odd kid who reads a dictionary in his free time. I have quite a large vocabulary at my dispense, and you have forced me to surpass my limits and go searching beyond them. And I still haven't found the right word to describe you!

In short, I'm a genius, and you're better.

3129534 Dont worry! You've got until OCTOBER. So you have a whole month. :D

3192504 Ooooo, another Dresden Files fan, eh?

You're gonna LIKE The Twilight War.

so what will be the 3rd story called?

3192940 The Twilight War, currently slated for opening on October 1st (Date subject to possible change, please watch my blog for actual start date)

3192947

Alright I am looking forward to it.
Keep it up!

3192947

What kind of adult content is this?

*EDIT* As in vague suggestions, or full R34 content?

3285816 Ehhhhh I dont know as I'd call this porn, but the sexual situations here do become explicit if that sort of thing turns you off.

3286236

... How explicit? Like descriptions of... stuff or more general "stuff happened"? I want to read this, but I would like to know first.

3288245 Explciit meaning "Explicit" - meaning sexual scenes are described. =P Detail is gone into.

3288899

Ahhh... Thanks for the info... I'll have to consider this information. I WANT to read it, but I avoid this stuff. Let me check my reserves of mind bleach. This causes me great problems. Read, don't read. Read, don't read. Read, don't read. Ugh, i'll sleep on it.

3288918 Sorry. If it's any help, all of it is relevant to the story and the plot and isn't just there for sex's sake.

3289008

Okay... Ill probably read it then. I will most likely skip that part(parts? how many?) Please dont hate me..

3294121 Things are fairly consistent throughout, I think anyway.

2612563

That is a terrible joke lol.