Twilight Sparkle is being corrupted in mind and spirit by the Shadow, a dark magical force from ancient times. Now Princess Celestia is in a race against time to find the key to saving her student and her friends from the seduction of the Shadow.
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That's a very good chapter you have there! (And while it is hard for you, I think that this chapter is really nice)
I always like the story where Pinkie is an awesome fighter but she is more on the side of disliking fighting, like in 'The Immortal Game'. And I'm guessing that Fluttershy will probably more on the Priestess side instead of warrior that Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash will be? Applejack will probably a warrior, and Rarity is in-between, in my view. But I'm sure these questions will be answered in the future chapters!
2505549 I cant tell you how much trouble this chapter gave me. I literally had the entire thing written out and had to scrap it completely because it just wasn't working.
This version is much better, and gives me a good jumping off point for the next couple of big scenes. Pinkie fighting wasn't actually supposed to happen this early, but now that it has it opens a lot of story options for me.
*Headdesks* Im just glad it's freakin done.
2505558 -pats- well, at least you have future chapters you can look forward to?
2505558 Does this mean more chapters more faster now? :P
I just finished the first story a couple days ago and i gotta ask...
Did Luna do something permanent and horrible to Spike?
Last I saw she had given him a sleeping potion and was going to "alter him to better serve her mistress". Later Rarity makes a dress for Mistress Twilight that has a big hunk of the very illegal and hard to get "dragonskin". Twilight has not noticed his disappearance but Spike has been missing for about two weeks (as of the end of part one).
What happened to Spike? I do not want anyone to ruin any serious plot lines but i would really really like to know ...
Umbra! So now we know A name of the shadow. But is that the true shadow? Umbra is a bit of a unisex name and also a good name because it is Latin for shadow. (For the confused people, here's a Wiki link: Umbra )
Ah, man... I am aware of how powerful Twilight Shadow can become. But I have a slight concern... she is not going to be utterly overtaken, is she? I don't want to lose my mistress to some stupid queen. Nu! Also, just clicked now since I read it in fenriofdarkness's comment. There are classes of Touched, perhaps? Warrior, Priestess. I feel like we're gonna run across an Assassin soon enough, just to complete the standard RPG starters. But that's just mean reaching for plot again, like me reaching for the stars in the sky as just as earth pony...
Now, wow. 27 hours and seven re-writes? You poor author... wish I could give you something nice to show I appreciate all your hard work. You did awesome work though. I was looking forward to coming home and reading this. It was worth the wait. Maybe now take it easy for like half a day to a full day, gathering your mind and whatever fragments split off as you worked so hard. No pressure or demand from me.
Edit: The editing system here Sucks......
2505848 Different story line man. This isn't the sequel to The Code's Apprentice, and follows a completely different series of events.
2505848 Sorry, excuse me... where exactly did you see any of that? I just combed over all the chapters of the first part and been combing through the current chapters. The last mention of Spike was him getting a gem in the Ponyville Library. Nothing to do with Luna or anything like that...
2505915
sorry I don't know how i missed that ...
I guess i should have read the closing remarks better ...
2505929
sorry for the confusion. All that stuff happened in "the codes apprentice" and i thought this was the sequel (an easy enough mistake considering the common themes in both stories )
spoiler alert ..
all that stuff happened in chapter 5 of the codes apprentice
Mmm crazy fighting Pinkie AND crazy sexy Pinkie.
Another excellent chapter. Those punishments are delectably devious. Don't forget to bind that magc of theirs or they could get sneaky haha
Really hoping that twilight can control the umbra instead of succumbing to it. Or if she does she will be able to pull herself out of it.
Prediction time! Rarity will be the assassin as she can fit in in any scenario, is extremely dexterious with her magic, and just gives off the vibe.
Fluttershy will be the priestess
Applejack an inquisitor of sorts as she can determine truth from lies due to the element
Can't wait for the next chapter!
hot damn pinkie is sexy! everything about her, sexy! you, my dear writer, have my thanks for new sexy warrior pinkie!
I hope I'm not the only one that DOESN'T want Twilight to ever get cured. I like corrupt Twilight a lot more than normal Twilight. And Celestia's kind of a bitch, so I don't want her to get to "save the day".
And I wonder how long it's gonna take them to realise that the Shadows aren't keeping Twilight isolated in her city, Celestia is.
2508474 No, you aren't the only one. I also despise Celestia and hope that she ends up failing or getting sealed away. She would make a poor Touched. Twilight will rule all of Equestria and it will turn into one huge multi area party. Which I have advanced tickets for. *cheers*
Twilight might as well be "Renegade for life" (DBZA Vegeta) because at this point, there's no way anything will go back to normal... EVER. Too much damage has already been caused.
2505558
I have to say that warrior Pinkie is always intriguing and yours for sure is just that. I also think it is fitting that the first pony she thinks of specifically is Rainbow Dash as her and Twilight are the two I usually put with Pinkie (if she is with any of her friends). I could see this shadow influencing Pinkie enough that she asks Dash for some "party" time I wonder if Rainbow would be as receptive?
I am not too keen on Pinkie giving everybody blowjobs randomly but hey the other stuff is so good I will accept it.
I agree that Pinkie is giving an "Immortal Game" vibe in that she appears to be a bad ass (so awesome by the way). Pinkie was one of the best fighters in that story (in the Mane 6 behind only Twilight and perhaps Rarity) and I hope that continues here. I wonder if your Pinkie will be using contraptions like that Pinkie or will she go without weapons?
I also like that Rainbow Dash never woke up for the fight. It will be a good surprise if they get into a sparring match!
2509407
Well, as to how Pinkie is going to work out in terms of fighting - you'll see. It's not going to be entirely what you expect.
Also the blowjobs thing was kind of a throwaway joke. ^_^
2508797>>2508474
You guys are crazy. I have no idea how to handle all my readers wanting "Total Darkness Victory!" XD
2506391 No, Chapter 10 is "Twilight's Gone Dark Side Now" - This was just the beginning.
2506649
I'll join in on the prediction game.
Rarity: I actually see Rarity as the priestess, mainly because it takes charisma and charm to sway a crowd to your way of thinking. Rarity has this in spades, she also has contacts in various levels of Equestrian society which could be use to spread influence.
Fluttershy: I see Fluttershy as the perfect Secret Police. The entire animal kingdom are her eyes and ears, nothing could move without her knowing it. Also, Fluttershy has alot of repressed anger and if the Shadow can get her to let that out then Fluttershy would be a terror on anyone Twilight sends her after.
Applejack: I see Applejack as some type of Enforcer or Bodyguard. She could also be an interrogator. I think Applejack's conversion will be interesting as I see her putting up the most resistance to the whole thing.
I always thought it was an important detail that Pinkie is one of the only characters that actually speaks to Umbra in the stories. I still wonder if it is going to come back in a later story as an important detail.