Hi. It's gapty. Read a fic today. Or don't. They're both the same to me. Just don't tell knighty I said that.
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After learning about the Rainbooms’ previous adventures, Sci-Twi steals Sunset’s journal to write an urgent message.
Mention of an attempted suicide.
This fic was written for the A Thousand Words Contest II in the category horror. Check out the other entries here.
Huge thanks to RDT for proofreading it!
Twilight's silhouette used for the cover art was made by Wissle.
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That is horrifying to imagine. Well, time to throw sunset through the portal.
so when another version of you visits your world then you get absolutly overloaded with sensations of everything and every sound while also being unable to die if you attempt it as long as the portal is active? that sounds horrifying and if sci twi is correct that the portal and other versions are the cause then we can only hope that sunset from earth ended up finding her way to the a portal otherwise she will have absolutly not been ok
Just forced myself to read this, but it was worth it. Good luck in the competition, not that you'll need it.
Certainly the most horrific way you could explain Sci-Twi having a different hairstyle, but I’ll allow it!
A very distressing fate is described here, and not one I’ve encountered before. I do feel like it ends a little abruptly, and I think the bit about human Sunset could have been given a more dramatic flair. Still, very interesting. Best of luck in the contest, fellow competitor!
It was a joy proofreading this (and somewhat disturbing at the same time, as with all good horror stories).
Go read it if you're just scrolling the comments, it's a only thousand words anyways.
It works... Until you remember that in Friendship Games, Sci Twi was absolutely fine when the two met. Works as AU though.
Sounds like Roderick Usher's condition (Vincent Price) in "House of Usher."
Ohhh that final sentence is grim as hell o.o very well done and amazing concept!
Nice concept! I'll admit I didn't quite know where it was going, until the very end - and oh boy. That's a hell of a fate.
Good luck in the contest.
Yeah... As 11614964 said, this seems to blatantly ignore the fact that Princess Twi and Sci Twi were right there in front of each other, and Sci Twi was fine in the Friendship Games aftermath.
It's not a bad story, but this feels like a blatant attempt by Sci Twi to get both the princess and Sunset out of the human world, for literally no reason.
Horrific!
That last line gave me chills! Good work!
Also any mention of Sci Twiggles automatically deserves a like
I feel it's a bit wordy for the horror, too detailed if you will. Also begging to remove sunset and seal the portal seems out of place. Yes, the thought that Human Sunset has been suffering for 3 years is horrible, but its dumped on us too late. If the story was more Twilight coming to the discovery with a "What about Sunset?" Left hanging it'd hit harder.
Its well written though.
11614859
Yeet!
11614865
Honestly, in my head, it wasn't even related to the portal being active
11614889
Nah, I'm definitely gonna need that luck
11614903
There needs to be some canon explanation after all
11615102
This fic has the implication that that scene didn't happen, as it would only complicate everything. I mean, I have another fic where Twilight dies in season 1, which we know didn't happen
11615322
Thank you for the critic! The fic was even wordier before, if you believe that, but I think in that case the horror lies in the descriptive part—but that's more personal views. Sci-Twi didn't even want to go into the details, but they just flowed out of her, kind of like a therapeutic talk.
But the begging of Sunset to leave this place is enforced: If Sci-Twi didn't had Human Sunset in mind, she never would've written to Twilight in the first place. She would've just told the Rainbooms about it and then it would be decided that Twilight would never cross the portal again. The reason she wrote to Twilight in the first place was because she feared that Pony Sunset wouldn't forgive herself for what she did to her counterpart.
And writing wise, I needed a buildup
Huge thanks to everyone else also for the comments and support for the fic!
Fascinating concept! Good, detailed, and uncomfortable descriptions of sensations as well. Nice work!
11615329
Then mark this as an AU. Because this is ignoring quite a bit of canon.
Oh god what about Adagio, Aria, and Sonata's counterparts?
Ouch.
This is a nice enough story, but there might be even worse and more scary climax, kill Sunset. Assuming that the reason Twilight didn't die was because the universe doesn't allow for the same person in the same universe to die at the same time, the easiest solution might just be to poison Sunset. The earth Sunset should be in a state close to death by now and even if she isn't, it probably wouldn't be too hard to find her and kill her as well. The earth Sunset would almost definitely wouldn't want to live after three years of that. And if we assume that two same people can only die at the same time regardless of placement (that's only a theory of mine) it would achieve the same thing since Earth Sunset, as we established, definitely wouldn't want to live a moment more.
11616188
Well, you’re missing a key part of the story. Sci Twi *did* try to kill herself with cyanide, but for whatever reason she was kept alive. So, not only has Human Sunset been in this continuous torture, but it literally cannot end of Sunset does not leave.
It's an interesting premise. I know it's been said already, but since it goes directly against canon events, the lack of an AU tag severely bugs me. Other than that, well written and a horrific fate for human Sunset indeed.
Oh my god.
Uh.
UH.
Yeah this is fucked up. I love it.
Put an AU tag on this fic.
I really liked this one, the descriptive sensations really make you feel.
That ending hits hard, love it!
yeah that request will definitely need some explanation!
ooh that does sound terrible!
oh that sure has a lot of horrifying ramifications!
ooh, that is a fantastic ending. what a beautiful hammer drop, leaving us to ponder the ramifications. excellent horror concept, thank you for writing!
Oh this sounds bad. Very grueling.
[Gets to the end...]
Oh... oh. Oh f---.
Ah, the joys of writing. No, Google, I’m not suicidal, I was just curious about the chemical mechanism by which cyanide kills.
In any case, fascinating scenario. The imperfect compatibility with canon isn’t an issue for me; no fanfic perfectly fits canon since that story didn’t happen there. Still, I do feel this plot is a poor fit for the contest since you had to capsulize it. Hearing the after-action report doesn’t work as well as directly experiencing the sensory overload, and even for Sci-Twi, this presentation feels stilted and unnatural in order to make it work as a story and meet the word count requirement.
In all, strong concept, but the execution feels simultaneously cramped and padded... to me, anyway. Such is the benefit of having multiple judges. Thank you for it and congrats on the judge prize.
Hello! I read all the stories from this contest that won recognition, so have a review. The big hit of this fic is that last paragraph -- ooooof. Utterly brutal, and in a good way. Perhaps a concept that struggles to work inside such a tight word limit, but it hit me hard enough for an upvote anyway.
This is a really good story covering a very difficult topic. Holy F— that’s rough!
Ok wow I don't even want to think about that.