A Flight Over The Sea

A Thousand Words824 stories ·323 members

A Flight Over The Sea

Source

Rainbow finds a leaf floating far out over the ocean.

Written for the Thousand Word Contest II, under the Drama category!

Cover art used is by AdagioString, which inspired this story.

Huge thanks to ScarredVirtue for pre-reading!

Now with an awesome audio-reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 11
- Newest First
- Oldest First

ScarredVirtue

ScarredVirtue #1 · Jul 17th, 2023 · 8 · ·

I love when a story uses symbolism to grip you with the words between the lines.

Beautifully written.

Twilight Kiki Sparkle

Twilight Kiki Sparkle #2 · Jul 17th, 2023 · 2 · ·

Very sad

Catpaw616

Catpaw616 #3 · Jul 18th, 2023 · 2 · ·

Sad, but good story. Here's an upvote from me. Keep up the good work!

RB_

RB_ #4 · Jul 29th, 2023 · 1 · ·

I really like the final simile, it ties the whole thing together very nicely.

This was a good read! I enjoyed the descriptions and Rainbow’s grief comes across well. Best of luck in the contest, fellow competitor!

Discoris

Discoris #5 · Sep 3rd, 2023 · · ·

Can somepony please explain? Is Rainbow dead? Is Applejack dead? Was Apple Bloom trying to save her? Did the leaf murder Rainbow?

... What?

Silk Rose

Silk Rose #6 · Sep 6th, 2023 · · ·

I really like this one, even if I didn't realize what was going on until the end, hehe.

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #7 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 1 · ·

I stumble briefly in blind panic before dashing away. It doesn't matter where, just anywhere that's away. My mane whips furiously behind me, the wind in my ear becoming a deafening roar. I spare a glance behind; the leaf is still there, its green hue ever so distinct from the blues behind it. It spins and rolls and thrashes in the wake of my flight, but nevertheless continues to follow, continues to haunt.

aww, like a plastic bag floating in the wind, except natural and rarer

Green, like the gentle shade of apple trees at Sw-
No!

oof, something happened there!

All my pain and anger and grief and sorrow, I pour into a final scream as I push one last time. The sky itself splits open as the air erupts into a majestic ring of fire.

a grief Rainboom

"I don't care! If I'd been helping you with the chores instead of trying out new tricks, we wouldn't be here!"

and augh, so easy for Rainbow Dash to blame herself

I reach out and cup it gently in my hooves, holding it close to my heart as I cry and sob, curling like a leaf away from it all.

and just so very sad. poor Rainbow! hope she can take Applejack’s final words to heart. thank you for writing!

Rego

Rego #8 · Sep 18th, 2023 · 2 · ·

I like the imagery at play here. The story is pretty easy to call from the start, but staying for the description makes it worth the read. Thanks for the read.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #9 · Sep 19th, 2023 · 2 · ·

Yeah, Rainbow Dash does not have a good track record with confronting her grief. And this time it’s not over hibernation.

Painfully effective character piece with Dash literally trying to outrace her emotions, even as they haunt as surely as that leaf. It shades a little bit towards melodrama, but I can’t say I’d be any more composed when losing a loved one so near and dear to me. All told, great work. Thank you for it.

Jymbroni