- Member Since 11th May, 2017
- offline last seen Yesterday
Bronze Inkwell
Hello to all the bronies and pegasisters. I'm a writer for fun and I am beginning to make Youtube videos of stories that I think deserve to be told.
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Nice
Very good indeed :3
That was a very nice simple first chapter in the story I couldn't find anything wrong with it it was absolutely perfect. I wonder if he has any audiobooks on his phone if he does I hope it's the Lord of the Rings from JRR Tolkien and the rest of his stories. But I wonder when he sweat will the Mares like his natural sweat.
Wow, so far I'm liking this.
Monk
“Winona let out a bark and immediately ran up to Armor and started licking his muzzle, tail wagging like she was promised cake if she did it enough.” -Snakeskin Ducttape
The story synopsis makes it seem like this guy has all the luck of Peter Parker
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Maybe he will, maybe he won't. That's for me to know and for you to find out.
This is a human x regular ponies?
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Yes. Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough.
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It's fine. It is rather silly of me to ask.
I'm just more into anthro for the romantic/sexual stuff.
Seeing a human x regular canon pony is some mixed feelings to me.
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Ironically, Marvel writers also give Peter the worst of endings. They can never give the guy a break.
Into my library you go!
At least the teachers aren't asses so far.
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Oh, there will be a few, just not the majority. And it'll be more elitist racism than anything.
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I figured, that's why I said "so far" lol
And so it begun, the question would this be heading the Hight School Musical, One Tree Hill or...aught that attempt to make Archie a live action and make everything EXCEPT an Archie adaptation. Which road would this story take?
It will all depend on the author I suppose
P.S: Does anyone else at first though Fleur was about to ask Cadence on a date base on picture for the story? Or was it just me?
The story describes Tom being treated more like a slav than a pony. I’m intrigued how this dynamic will play out in the story.
I’m also curious about why Tom doesn’t have gym clothes.
Fancy is brother and not her husbando. Where’s Shining? Our guy has options! Maybe more will show up later?
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It's pony world. Why would nudists wear gym clothes?
Shining is coming in next chapter.
Wow this is great! Love the take with fleur and her status at the school
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Thanks mate. I've been writing this one for awhile, trying to get it right. But it's been 3 years since high school for me, and I don't remember everything, so I'm just going off of what feels right.
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Isn't Shining Armor the pony next to Cadence at the end of the chapter?
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I imagine the slave part is more like they are forcing him to do chores at the place like Cinderalle. But I'm kind of wonder where is he getting all of his clothes and how is he washes it? Specially shoes, those most have been special made, visualizing a minotaur order for the pants and...something brand new for shoes.
The advantage of been an near extinction creature I suppose, maybe because he is, the law requires to give him those kind of treatments
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Obvious thing is obvious. However, next chapter, I'll point out that that isn't that obvious.
How's that for a tongue twister.
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Oh! I see, nice. Well now to wait a month for the next chapter then
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Before you do, take a quick look between Shining Armor and Fancy Pants. See if you can spot a few similarities.
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Ah they both have blue hair
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And white fur. And are both large unicorns. And stallions. See where I'm going with this?
11694378
yep I see it now
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I swear, those two should be twin brothers, not complete strangers to one another.
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Or distant cousins, it would explain how Fancy likes to organized fancy parties as well
Very promising. The Administration shall monitor this world. Do not fail their expectations.
not a bad story. I'll see where she goes next. only the cover seems a little creepy to me.
So far, I have not noticed that Tom is treated like a slave. Sideways glances are more likely just fear of something unknown, well, and racism of course.
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Shining is here.
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It was the best I could find that was relative to my story with the two in one picture that wasn't outright smut.
Off to an interesting start.
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This is the best I could find, however the facial expressions don't really match what is going to happen in this story. There is still turmoil in this story, not everything is okay.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/6/5/910570.jpg
Nice job so far! I am hooked now!
I recommend having Fancy Pants by Thomas' side. Fancy Pants is more charismatic when it comes to meeting those who are different. Like when he met the rest of the Mane 6 characters. Having help from him could give you a leverage in case something happens.
It'd have been more realistic for the ponies to be faster in the first half of the run, then for Thomas to start outpacing them through a steady, consistent jog. Human stamina's something else, man.
Other than that small gripe, there's a nostalgic touch to this story that I really like. It feels like something from the early fandom.
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Then there wouldn't be an 'over protective brother'. He'll still be nice to Thomas, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to his sister, well, when it all comes down to it, family is all we got.
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Sadly, I wasn't here in the early fandom. I wish I was, truly. No, I came in near the middle of the game, just as EQG was the next big MLP thing. And fully integrated around season 7. My have the years gone by. And to think, for me it all started by trying to find a spiderman fanfic to read. Spiders and Magic was my door to the world of MLP.
I like it, though I think they probably should have taken a shower after gym class, so awkward yet so hot if you know what I mean.
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For myself, it took a particular blue minotaur to drag me into this fandom. A blue minotaur that is just plain silly.
Needless to say, I've never left...
sure hope this story doesn't take forever to update or stall out like all the rest of the stories i like.
The idea of Jeff fucking Dunham being the first introduction of human comedy to an alien race makes my brain ache and my skin crawl.
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Jeff, fa fa,
Dun-Ham,
Dot Com.
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11694860
Silence!! I KILL YOU!
Nice start.
I'm enjoying where this story seems to be going.
I'll have to point out some grammar and spelling issues, but nothing too bad.
I also like the internal conflict with Fleur.
"I should warn him, but then the rest of the class will retaliate against me."
Good stuff.
I'm definitely following.
And last, I hope he has infinite battery for his phone and buds! (Or do they have electricity here so he can charge? Some AUs have electric power, some don't.)
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I'm going to be using the excuse of magic infinitely charging his stuff, just because I can.
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Magical charging just makes so much sense considering it’s just energy.