That Other Writing Guy
Joined 22nd Oct, 2014 ·
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Very nice!!
Cannot wait for moon butt to join in
hadn't?
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Thank you I fix it.
11522561
What is the source of the pic??
looking forward to seeing more
I'd recommend reading through your work thoroughly before publishing it. The grammar isn't really that big of an issue but the sentence building you rly gotta work on.
Okay, color me intrigued! I love PoneXAnon stories, and love the picture, too (might want to reference the Derpibooru ID# or source ref if you have it). Would recommend some spell- checking and grammar-checking. I'm following and intrigued to see where this goes!
very nicely done!!
Better grammar as well
This is in desperate need of an editor.
After reading the intro, I like where this is going. Celestia got a spark, but does Anon even know what that feels like?
It's a good start.
I agree that an editor could help make your prose easier to read and have a bigger impact.
For example:
He didn't have many friends nor was he close to his family. At times, he was simply... there.
-----
Basically the same words, just rearranged to read easier. The second sentence ends on "there." I think this better emphasizes "just being there/just existing."
So meeting someone in dreams... ;D I wonder if it will be Luna being a 'protective' (threatening) sister... or is it she's jealous and wants him as well?
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Thank you both. I don't sadly have an editor nor can I afford one. I ran this chapter and next posted through a grammar checker. I think it caught alot of stuff edited the chapter. Hopefully it's at least better. I also run through them caught some stuff.
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I guess you could say the fun has been doubled? I can't help myself.
Super!
Kinda sucks you skipped over majority of the date, but let’s see what this goes.
This is cute and I am itching to see where it goes. The interactions make me smile and seeing Luna in this light is heart warming. Please keep up the excellent work.
Er chapter one to chapter three?
No chapter 2 ???
11524781
Thank my man fix it lol 😂 miss name the chapter is all
Very nice!!
Loved seeing Luna
Well, so far this story is starting off with some good momentum. If it keeps going like this, then I will give it a like and possibly hit the favorite star. Just make sure you know what you want to say and type before actually doing it. Hey Other Writing Guy, I have a suggestion. Check out a story called Ninetales in Equestria by WildWPony. It currently has 2 sequels and is very well liked. You might get some inspiration from that story to help with yours. Again, just a suggestion. Good luck with your story.
I'm glad it's continuing, and hope to see more soon. Small thing, that last sentence sounds a bit off, missing punctuation or words. I'm wondering when/if Luna will start to feel for Anon as well.
I like where this is going. But, for Celestia to be there, in his house(where he's living) the next day, seems a little needy/pushy/clingy?
I don't know, maybe I'm just looking at that to negatively.
Love this!!!
Anon: That was nice.
Celestia (In her head): Oh mother, oh mother, did I really just do that so soon!? We haven't even been on a second date yet! Oh, what does he think of me?!
Amazing chapter mate, can't wait to read more when it comes out.
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THEY MIGHT HAVE PREMARITAL HAND HOLDING!
*panic ensues*
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I think they already did. Maybe.
This is adorable. I will caution that going the sad protagonist route has a very fine line before starting to come across as mopey and full of self pity, so I hope you don't cross that, but so far it works really well. Can't wait for more 🙂
awwww, feels
I think the beginning was a little fast but so I'm enjoying the story
That ending in this chapter was electrifying.
....Why do I have a sense the one day soon Anon will be teleported in front of Tia's parents.
Increíble historia, te lo escribo en español para que veas que hay una persona desde afuera que lo Lee uwu.
Cute!
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That or they will just so happen to have the time to visit.
Great story. Nice interactions and a good in character Celestia. The thing that rubs me the wrong way is… love because she feels it. It feels cheap to me. Something set up rather than a true thing.
Loving this story. If you want, I'm willing to volunteer as an editor and proofreader for you.
Good so far, looking forward to future updates 👍
I think the pacing is doing great so far on how things develop. Definitely gonna track this one for future updates.