- Member Since 2nd Jan, 2021
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ZaDrEx
Hi I'm here for porn. Here's a link to my Kofi page if you want to support me:https://ko-fi.com/zadrex
ZaDrEx
Joined 2nd Jan, 2021 ·
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Ask Shelob...or Aragog, since he can talk.
11218156
I wish I had more time to revisit the Harry Potter universe...
Seriously? The world is fine and still clean. Rampant polution is more or less isolated to certain countries. Why does this self flagelation of humanity always appears in these fics? The story is still good but this scene really drags it down.
11218277
I mean, depends where you live and how you look into the world. I live in a rather clean environment but human destruction is just around the corner like 20km from where I live currently. So I think it's more like... “I have seen photos of countries that are fine, but I can’t travel there because I’m poor or my country is a shithole.” Type of thing. I don’t think many fics use this, most of them like the fallout yes but from what I read so far there is not a lot of them that describe the world as more than just a glimmer.
Also, there is another thing. The world where Anon lived before he came into Equestria was more into the future, somewhere like 2040-2050s.
But that’s a spoiler.
11218294
11218277
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/984726/addressing-something-about-the-story Blog entry about this problem.
11218294
The overall world is still intact, countries like China, India, and certain places in Africa are the polluted centers. Outside of these places Human "destruction" is insanely absurd to say. You'd have to have the standard of an uninhabited earth to call it clean. The fact is, green technology, waste management, and overall personal responsibility has made the world better, not worse.
People cite deforestation but that is absurd too. The reason we have so many trees is because we use trees. Smog is only a problem in places like Pakistan, China, and India where they burn trash and have little to no standards at all (despite what the Wumaos say). Even Russia doesn't have that problem, and they don't have a great environmental track record.
And that big trash of plastic in the south pacific? That's being taken care of already. Even that "hole" in the ozone layer is more or less gone. It would have been better for Anon to say:
"For the first time in my life, I feel at peace. There were many places on earth I never got a chance to see but now I got to see this wonderful view."
Anon wiped another tear before continuing.
"Celestia, my life has been a struggle. My mom did her best to take care of me, and I lost her. I lost my best friend too. It hurt for a long time....but you taking me here, listening to me talk, and letting me just see pure natural beauty......it..it really means a lot to me. Thank you."
People don't like putting humanity down in HiEs. It's very early 2010s misanthropes tropes. The story is still good and I want to see more. A shame Anon lost the construction war.
Celestia acted really weird in this chapter. Irrational, childish, petty and was quick to change between emotions.
11218530
I thank you for your contribution to this topic. I know about the general world situation right now, and I really think you have a great point. It was just a foundation, but I see that you managed to do it better than I did. I cannot thank you enough for addressing this. On a side note, would you like me to replace my conversation with yours? It just seems right. Of course, I will credit you in the author's notes.
I know the first chapter is important to keep the viewer interested in the story, and I’m glad you took the time to come up with something better, it just shows that different perspectives can create wonders for the story.
11218532
I don’t know if I should address it because it might ruin the fun later on. For now, I’m just going to say that I see your point and I will use it to correct the story once it gets confusing. Thanks for addressing it.
11218562
It's entirely up to you, it is YOUR story after all. I just mostly want you to be aware of things I've learned and seen since I've been here on this site for oh, 10 years now? Damn it's been a long time.
Feel free to if you want and add more to it as well. Perhaps mention notable landmarks of nature on earth? Lost opportunities that he's got to do because of her kindness?
Also, Anon's actions and circumstances are absolutely relatable and believable. The pacing is good, him working like an average functional person making a decent living and not being a straight up a$$hole or push over is seriously refreshing. I can easily see myself in his shoes aside from losing a parent and friend. I lost my infant son though, miss him everyday. It's been 3 years and he'd be 4 this year. But my point is, all of his struggles and living life in Equestria is well portrayed. No instant romance, no instant conflict, no rush to treat him like garbage for merely existing and 2 years is a good way of showing how long he's adapted.
I cannot speak for Anon, but 2 years go by and I certainly would be looking at the pony ladies in that funny way. Pardon my crudeness, but I can't imagine Anon not having jacked off quite a few times since he's been there. Him wanting to have love is nice but he's mentioned wanting to have someone to have sex with too. He better learn to find the lady species of Equus attractive for he's out of luck.
11218532
Was just about to say. This almost felt like she was about to say "ANON YOU BA-BA-BA-BAKA! " with the amount of angsty teen she was channeling.
11218886
True
11218628
Alright. I think I can do that later this week. Thanks for sharing your story with me. It warms my heart that veterans like you help new fic writers.
I hope you the best, and hopefully, a good read too later on when I work on this story some more.
11218277
I agree quite well, more often I see humanity painted as this violent brutal force that ruins everything it touches, we've got both good and bad people, plus ponies use coal, they pollute about as much as 1800's industrialized Britain does I think. They also have electric lighting and hydroelectric dams so I assume they also use coal in power plants too, lmfao
11218277
I also imagined anon must be from 2350 or something.
11219614
There's no guarantee the future will be a destruction hell hole. Everyone thought the world was going to be destroyed during the cold war, but that didn't happen. I do get your point though, however specific that year is.
Up to my eyeballs in work, so I'm adding this to my read later list for when I have more time, also, instant fave 'cause all the chapters names are songs I've listened to. Very clever, high five and thumbs up!
11219920
Thanks!
Cute chapter. The best so far
First two chapters were me but its getting better and better. You have my like
11218532
I have to agree. Pacing was good before they went to her chambers. It was just too quick and unbelievable. Noone just falls in love and cries and sobs on a first date like that. Especially if there are so many new things to them. Anon dating a pony and the ruler! Celestia dating an alien and never having had a relationship in the past.
It just doesnt add up :/
He sullied the Princess outside of marriage. Now he's locked in for sure! And yes, busting inside is the best. Anon needs to just keeping doing that and get her knocked up and married. It's only proper you know...
Not bad, glad I finally had time to give this a read. Can't wait to see how the situation with Luna plays out.
Christ, this is so full of spelling and grammatical errors; it's seriously immersion-breaking.
>In a manner of fact, there is a Princess.
Like this, to name only one example.
11223254
People do screw on first dates and she's never had anyone pursue her before, making it exciting. That's one hell of a virgin streak. I remember jumping at the first woman that was willing. The alien thing does interfere though.
11226297
I’m sorry you feel that way, thanks for correcting this one. It does sound a bit out of place, but I try to do my best, and sometimes, my editor can’t catch those misspellings either. But I feel like both he and I did a decent job and it is readable.
11226297
Also nice description xD
11226338
True, I hope to explain it further, in the next chapters.
11226376
I'm not disparaging the premise of the fiction, but when you have an editor who isn't able to catch things like this, your brain does a double-take to have to re-read it to make sense of what the sentence *should be*, and this breaks the flow of the story, and thus the reader's immersion in it.
I wonder what is making Celestia have doubts about their relationship?
Free Relationship Advice: this is why talking about how you feel is important. It lets the other person know that there even is a problem. Then you can talk about what caused the problem. Then you can talk about what can be done to fix the problem.
A couple of mistakes here and there. But good chapter. Not sure why she thinks it's okay for luna to come there. I hope she punishes who read the letter out loud.
11218156
Shelob should be able to talk too. Both her mother and her children do so in the books.
Just like that they're lovers now? Anon just met her like a couple of times and they're not even out on dates!
Love takes time to bloom. It doesn't just spontaneously exist. I'd imagine that Celestia gets plenty of suitors, but you didn't exactly show us why she chose Anon out of countless of others.
11329260
I know, it's stupid, right? The author didn't even try to make this a more complex story. Shame...
The other story was better, I don't know why the author thinks making him act like a beta is a improvement.
11341974
Personally, I don't think the author tried very hard while creating the Anonymous character.
I hope the next chapter comes out soon. You've been blue-balling us for quite a few months.
11370652
Haven't you seen my blog post about the situation?
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/987132/regarding-activity
As it said, I focused on reading here, I'm still writing if I feel like it, but mostly for fun. If I do come back, I won't be publishing more chapters of this story for sure. In my opinion, I didn't do a very good job at world and character building in it. So I would create a new one, (again) or focus on something else. I'm currently writing (Like a chapter per month) a story about gender switch. So I would probably focus on polishing and publishing that.
I'm sorry that I didn't think to place 'canceled' on the two stories. I will correct that now.